I Am... Creating Intentions

An intention is a feeling that arises that informs a short, positive statement in the present tense as though it is already happening. In this episode of The Regroup Hour podcast, I share some of the neuroscience behind why intention setting works and simple practice for feeling into your own intention.

We'll also explore how to create and use an affirmation or mantra that you can use every day - or throughout your day - to help you shape your experience. We close with a reflective reading.

Transcript

Welcome to The Regroup Hour,

The podcast that's all about how we make and manage change by building a bedrock of self-care.

Self-care that comes from self-awareness and self-compassion.

This is a gentle hour-ish to take some time out for yourself to simply be and see whatever this time brings.

It truly is an opportunity to regroup.

During 2021,

I've been running a series of retreats called The Seasons.

Their focus has been all about intention setting.

So each one has been designed to help us consider what it is that we wish to draw to us over the coming season.

And I say we because in the creation of these events,

I am of course also working on my own process,

As well as supporting the wonderful women who come and join these retreats.

Our next one is on the 4th of September to support us as we move into autumn and then winter follows in early December.

So today's episode of the podcast is a chance to dance through some of the areas that we explore on the season retreats.

And it's all about setting intention.

And if there's anything that I cover that you'd like to explore more deeply,

Please do come and join us either for the autumn retreat or the one that's all about preparing for winter.

And just to flag that these are online morning retreats,

Just two and a half hours.

And they are really,

Really beautiful events.

I'm thoroughly enjoying running them.

And the groups are kept deliberately small to maintain that beautiful,

Trusted space that's so essential for this work.

So as you think about your own intentions,

There may be some specific changes that you're contemplating right now.

And it may be useful just to do a quick check in with yourself to see how setting an intention for that change could help inform that experience.

How do you want to be feeling as you approach and transition through that change that you have in your mind if you have one in your mind?

And if you don't have anything specific,

Then that's okay too.

This art is a gentle one.

And our intention can simply be the matter or the loving kindness meditation of I am safe,

I am well,

I am happy,

I live with ease.

That can be a really profound intention to set at any time in the year,

Any time in the day,

To be honest.

So there's a full breadth and scope here of what your intention may be.

It can be specific,

Or it can be expansive.

And as we go through today's episode,

I'm going to share with you a little more about how to create an intention.

And also I'll talk a little bit more about how and why they work and a little bit of the neuroscience and the ways in which we can create them for ourselves.

And also I'll share how I use them too.

But before all that,

I'd like to invite you to consider a word that reflects what you wish for in these coming months.

Just allow yourself just to look ahead,

Feel ahead.

What's the word that comes up for you as you feel into the coming months?

And it's useful here just to just to notice the first word that came to your mind.

So this may be a word that you love.

It may be a word that you're deeply familiar with,

Something that often resonates,

Or it may be a surprising word,

Something that comes up from your belly and informs how you're feeling or just describes what you're noticing within yourself.

So whatever it is,

That's okay.

And if no word has come up for you yet,

Then just notice if a word starts appearing.

And if you have a pen handy,

Then you might want to jot it down.

You may even want to put it somewhere you can see I have lots of words on my wall in front of me.

Surrender,

Release,

Allow,

Accept.

There's a bit of a theme there.

It's mostly about reminding me I can release the control I have so often sought and I'm now conditioned to return to,

Especially when things feel more challenging.

So these words,

They help anchor me in the present and to maintain focus on what truly serves me.

So this word that may or may not have arisen for you could potentially become an anchor for you.

It could be something that just helps you stay really focused on what the feeling that you're looking to draw in to your life over the coming months.

And just to call out to that today,

I'm going to be taking us through a couple of exercises that won't be possible if you're driving,

But would be really lovely to do if you're out for a walk or you're somewhere you can rest for a few moments.

So the Dalai Lama notes that when we direct our intelligence with good intention,

There is much we can achieve.

And I love how this phrase shows us the connection between the two parts of our mind,

That rational,

Logical,

Action oriented part,

And then the more expansive creative part that's able to imagine the outcome that we truly desire rather than getting stuck in the data and the evidence that the logical action orientated part likes to work with.

Or to phrase that idea of the outcome that we truly desire,

To phrase that another way,

It's that expansive creative part of our brain that's able to see what it is we are choosing to draw in to our lives.

And that's fundamentally what intention setting is all about.

It is one of the most powerful components in how we shape our experience.

And also just reflecting back to that quote from the Dalai Lama,

It's also a really powerful component in how we shape the impact we have on the planet and on the people around us.

So today I thought we could focus on creating an intention for the rest of the year.

I'm recording this in July,

Which is the reason why I'm in a sundress if you're watching on YouTube.

But it doesn't matter when it is that you're listening to this podcast.

It could be the beginning,

The middle,

The end of the year,

Whenever.

Intention setting works all the way through.

The important point is the intention setting is valuable for how we want to create any experience.

And I actually use them myself every day.

So in season four,

I think it was episode five,

I was speaking with the sleep expert,

Dr.

Kat Laderle.

And she shared how neurologically reconnecting with our day each morning is now seen as being just as important as disconnecting at the end of the day in terms of supporting us in sleeping well.

So how this relates to what we're talking about is that setting an intention each morning that reconnects us to our upcoming day is a really powerful practice.

So this might be something that you already do.

And I know a number of my clients who will use this kind of technique themselves,

Whether or not you call it an intention doesn't really matter.

It's just this thing about taking a few moments to gather ourselves before we leap or fall out of bed.

And those few moments can be enough.

And if we do it with great consciousness and a deeper awareness of what we wish to create in the day ahead,

Then that adds another really wonderful beneficial layer to the practice of just regrouping before starting the new day.

And it may be that we use the same intention each day,

Such as the one that you may end up creating as we go through the rest of this episode,

Or that intention may shift with your experience.

So for example,

If you note that there's something really stressful coming up that could trigger you.

So for me,

Particularly when I was working in a formal kind of office corporate environment,

It could have been a meeting with a particular colleague.

I might have known that could be a bit of a trigger for me.

Or if I knew that in the upcoming day,

I was going to have to present to a group of my peers,

That can always be quite stressful for us.

Presenting to peers is often harder than presenting to people that we don't know.

Then my intention in those times in the morning was always,

I am calm,

I am clear,

I am kind.

And that kindness was also something that I reflected back to myself as well.

And learning about how to use that intention was definitely a really fundamental tool that enabled me to reshape the way that I experienced being in that corporate environment.

So if you know that you've got something that could trigger you coming up,

Your intention could be as simple as I am calm.

And just to say that to yourself three times,

Just to help settle,

But also it's a way of reminding ourselves that that is what we are drawing in.

That's what we're creating is a feeling of calm.

So essentially,

It's about being clear with what we are inviting into our consciousness,

Into our awareness.

So what actually is an intention?

An intention is a feeling that arises that informs a short positive statement in the present tense as though it is already happening.

And this feeling can then become an affirmation or a mantra that we use every day such as I am calm or throughout the day to help us shape our experience.

So the neuroscience of this,

And I love this,

I love this part of the brain that we're about to talk about.

The neuroscience is that when we're clear on our intent,

It informs our reticular activating system,

The RAS,

R-A-S,

The RAS,

On what to let in and what to filter out.

So the RAS sits,

It starts just above your spinal cord,

And it's about two inches long and about the width of a pencil.

And it's where all of our senses come in to our brain apart from smell,

Which goes into the emotional center of the brain.

And what the RAS does is it really connects that subconscious part of our brain with the conscious part of our brain.

And in terms of intention setting,

It helps us in two ways.

So first of all,

It filters stuff out.

That's the technical phrase I think you'll find it filters stuff out.

It protects us from being overwhelmed by the billions of bits of data we're constantly exposed to across all of our senses.

And you can see it at work every time you scroll through your Facebook feed or you walk down a busy street,

You only pay attention to the stuff you're interested in seeing.

And if you paid the same amount of attention to everything,

You'd really quickly become overwhelmed.

And then secondly,

It lets stuff in.

And when we're clear with ourselves about what we intend for our lives,

We inform our RAS to filter out the stuff that really doesn't serve that intention,

And to let in the stuff that does serve the intention.

But this is the essence of creating an intention.

It's being clear on what we want to draw in so we can use the RAS to support that process.

So in my own life,

An example of this would be when we were trying to get pregnant.

And all I could see everywhere were pregnant women and prams or programs on TV that were about pregnancy or magazine articles or notices up in the doctor's surgery,

Whatever it might be,

Everything seemed to be to do with procreation.

And now I can't remember the last time I saw anything to do with that,

Because it's no longer something that I'm seeking to draw into my life.

And in fact,

The last time I can remember even seeing a baby was my niece's little girl who I am,

Of course,

Still deeply interested in.

But other than that,

The RAS is just filtering it all out because it knows it's not something I need to be conscious of anymore.

So for you,

It may be that you decided you wanted to buy a particular car.

If you think back to,

You know,

If you really loved a particular car,

I've always really loved short wheelbase Land Rovers and fantasized about owning one for a long time.

And when I have been focused on it,

Then all I've been able to see everywhere are people driving short wheelbase Land Rovers,

It's very specific.

And so it may be that there's a particular car that you really like,

And that's something that you always see,

You know,

Whenever one drives past,

You clock it and you notice people driving that kind of car.

And that is the RAS filtering in,

Letting the stuff in that it knows that you're interested in.

So in this way,

The conscious mind combines your intention,

I want to buy that car,

And the data that supports it.

There are lots of people who also like that car into your subconscious mind.

And you start to see and hear and understand the things that will help you get to what you're intending.

So the American writer Ernest Holmes wrote,

Life is a mirror,

And will reflect back to the thinker,

What he thinks into it.

He she thinks into it,

Let's go with that.

But I love this idea of how we can think our way into the life that we are looking to create by using our conscious awareness.

And it's obviously something so intention setting has been used in yoga for thousands of years.

But it's really interesting to see how neuroscience is now catching up with these ancient traditions and understanding and evidencing why it is that this kind of work makes such a difference to the experience that we have of life.

So to get started,

I'm going to invite you to write down the first thing that comes into your mind when I ask you a question in a moment.

So this is where we're going to start coming into doing a bit more of a reflective exercise.

So if you're driving,

This may be the time to either pause the podcast and listen to something else or just to just to be really,

Really aware that we're about to do a reflective exercise that involves a little bit of mindfulness.

And if you do have a pen and paper handy,

That's going to be useful here too,

Or just jot it into your phone or whatever.

So we're going to begin by just relaxing our central nervous system,

Just to soften into the exercise.

You may want to close your eyes,

Or just lower your gaze and soften your focus depending on where you are.

If you're outside,

It could be lovely just to lie down on some grass if that's available to you.

Relax your jaw,

Your shoulders,

Your belly,

Your hips,

Just feel that relaxation.

Going down your body,

Feel your feet on the floor or where your legs are touching your seat if you're cross legged or curled up or lying down.

Just connect,

Just connect with where you are.

Connect with the floor and the seat beneath you.

Connect with your body.

Connect with your breath,

Not trying to change it.

Connect just with how you're feeling just right now without trying to change anything.

Really enjoy this moment of being in your body and connected to the earth.

Now,

If you think of this time in your life as a chapter in your book of life,

What would that chapter heading be?

If you think of this time in your life as a chapter in your book of life,

What would that chapter heading be?

And notice the very first thing that came to mind and write it down.

Just allow it.

Now,

Just see if there's a subtitle that sits under that chapter heading.

Just a few words or a short phrase.

Take a moment,

Sit with this.

And as you look at what you've written,

What are the feelings you notice that are arising?

Just note down any words that seem related to this chapter heading or this subtitle that you've written down.

What are any words that are related,

Words that reflect the feeling you're looking to create for yourself over the coming months?

How do you wish to feel?

There may be an image forming here too in your mind's eye.

Maybe,

Maybe nice just to close your eyes again and just see is there an image that comes to you as you reflect on these words?

Reflect on how it is that you wish to feel over the coming months.

And just see,

See what arises for you.

Maybe an image,

Maybe a phrase or a collection of words.

Just take a moment just to jot down what it is that arises.

And if nothing has arisen,

Then that's okay.

You can always come back to this exercise at a time when perhaps you've got a little bit more space,

A little bit more calm around you.

It really depends on where you are as you're listening to the podcast today.

And the invitation is as some words start to appear to take a little time to craft the affirmation that comes out of this feeling that you're looking to create.

It can be useful to begin with the words,

I am remembering that an intention is a positive statement in the present tense as though it is already happening.

If you remember I said,

I am calm,

I am clear,

I am kind.

That was an intention that I used to use and occasionally still do return to.

To start sketching out some phrases that feel resonant for you,

They don't need to be perfectly formed.

You can just keep honing and crafting them.

And in fact,

That's a really lovely thing to do just to sort of keep returning to it and just thinking,

Okay,

Can it be even clearer?

Can I be even more present?

Can I be even more positive in terms of affirmation of what it is that I want to create?

So an important point is to remember how negative language can be transmuted into positive language.

So we can reframe something so it feels positive for us.

So for me,

When I was preparing this episode,

I had the chapter heading,

Going with the Flow came up.

That was the one that arose for me.

And the subtitle was Moving Downstream.

So for me,

Rather than write an intention affirmation,

I am going to stop worrying about what might happen,

Or I've got to stop resisting stuff and stop trying to control things.

Back to those words I have up on my wall,

There's a familiar theme here.

I chose to write,

I am present with what is,

And that is enough.

So that phrase is what helps me create that feeling that I came up with from the chapter heading about going with the flow,

That I am present with what is,

And that is enough.

And that for me epitomizes that feeling of being in flow.

So if you've noted,

As you look down at your paper and what you've written,

That there are things that you want to stop doing,

See how you can rephrase it into the things that you'll start.

So just to remind you,

Instead of me saying,

I'm going to stop worrying about what might happen,

I just wrote,

I am present with what is.

Because me worrying about what might happen isn't going to change anything.

If you've noted,

So if you've noted that for yourself,

Then just really look at how you can look at that,

Perhaps something that's written with some negative language,

I'm going to stop doing,

Or I'm not going to,

Whatever,

Then just look at it from another angle into what it is that you'll gain.

And then you can use that as the basis for the intention.

And you can also really focus on how to make your intention more concise and bring it into the core essence of what you're creating.

So I had written,

I am present with what is,

And that is enough to make it more concise,

To make it something that feels even like clearer for my RAS to be aware of,

Mine has become,

I am present.

So my RAS will be looking for evidence to affirm my presence rather than stuff that's going to keep me worrying about the future or ruminating about the past.

And if this process has resonated with you and you create your own intention,

You may want to share it in the Regroup Hour Facebook group.

And it would be really wonderful to see what's come up for you.

No need to explain what it means to you,

Just to share your intention statement.

And if you're sort of writing it,

But you're kind of like,

You're not quite sure like how you could reframe it so it feels even more positive or it feels even more present,

Then you can also put it into the group and I can,

I'll give you a couple of tips if that's useful.

And of course,

If you're not already a member of the Regroup Hour,

Then just come and join.

It would be really lovely to see you and I'll include the link in the show notes.

So intention setting is a really beautiful thing to explore and whether or not you choose to share it with the Facebook group,

It can be really useful to share your intention with trusted others where it feels safe.

But be really mindful that you choose people who won't question or challenge what you've written.

So this is yours.

What you're looking to create for yourself over the coming months or over the coming year or years is yours and yours alone.

So choose someone who will listen and accept it just as it is.

Always remembering that this is also entirely open to change.

You can adapt it,

Develop it,

Start again with something else completely different.

You know,

It's something that you can be curious with and play with.

And it's something that I do a lot myself.

I mentioned at the beginning of the episode that I have a series of prayers that I say every morning and they are short,

Positive statements in the present tense.

And they are all about the things that I am drawing into my life.

And my experience of doing this is that I see the evidence pretty much every day of how by being clear on these intentions,

I am shaping the experience of life that I have.

So I mentioned as well that I say them every day and integrating your intentions with your daily life is really useful.

So some really simple things can be to write it on a piece of paper or to write them if you have a number of intentions like I do on a piece of paper that you can see every day throughout the day.

I actually have mine on my phone and just each morning I just say them out loud and I really inhabit the sentiment that sits inside each one of the intentions.

You can also,

So you can say it to yourself,

It's useful to say it out loud,

That kind of even more kind of gets the message into the razz or just stick them up somewhere so that you can see them.

I already said share it with someone that you trust and then,

You know,

And add to them,

Change them,

Adapt them.

They're not something that's stuck in stone,

But there may well be intentions that you keep returning to like the one that I mentioned earlier.

An intention setting is one of the areas that I cover in the Heart of Change as well.

So they are a really powerful component in how we create change and then how we manage changes that feel like they're happening to us.

So the Heart of Change is published in September.

This is 2021.

And to be sure that you get your copy from the first print run,

It's recommended that you get your order in as soon as you can.

And I'm also really humbled once again to see that My Darling Girl is once more out of stock.

So Carl,

My lovely publisher,

Tells me it's going to be back in stock by the middle of August.

So I know that lots of people really enjoyed giving My Darling Girl to people as Christmas presents.

And I can't believe I actually just mentioned Christmas considering it's only July.

But I'm also mindful that if that's something that you do want to do,

Then getting your order in,

In autumn would be really sensible to make sure that it doesn't run out.

Just a little flag there.

And just before we close,

Actually,

I think I'm going to,

There's a My Darling Girl that may resonate here with this whole idea of intention setting.

And actually,

There was one that I hooked out,

Which I'm not sure is quite the right one now.

Which one did she use?

Which one?

So,

Yes,

Let's do this.

I'll say my thank yous before I start reading.

So thank you for listening.

Thank you for being here as ever.

I really hope you enjoyed that little exercise in intention setting.

And I'd love to know how it was for you.

And like I say,

If you want to get into it a bit more deeply,

There's obviously a lot more to it than the little taster that I've shared today,

Then do come along to autumn or winter,

These online morning retreats.

So beginning of September and beginning of December 2021.

Just in case you're listening another time.

And thank you to Angus for everything.

So,

My Darling Girl.

You once spoke of a dream,

A vision for how things could be.

We held hands and talked late into the night imagining how that dream would feel and taste and look.

Exploring all the facets of that vision we revelled in the picture that you painted.

And as you spoke,

I saw a single match flare in the darkness,

Lighting a candle inside you.

When the morning came,

You laughed at what we'd spoken of,

Dismissing it as foolish fancy,

Even while I saw you wished it could be so.

But the candle still burnt true.

Over time,

I've seen that flame waver.

I've seen that light dim to a glimmer.

I've seen you follow others flames.

And I've noticed when you've looked back to see if your dream was still there,

Wondering if it's managed to survive despite all the changes and life stages you have travelled through.

As I look at you today,

My love,

I see that light is still burning in the night,

Like the lantern lit for loved ones feared lost at sea.

And though it may have wavered and dimmed at times,

I see that dream still calls.

And I know if you close your eyes,

You can see that spark shine still.

If you want to leave it gently burning there,

That is your choice,

My love.

But remember,

If you ever wish to make it burn a little brighter,

You just need to give it air.

And then you can use it to light your way.

Reviews

This was wonderful information that gave me lots of thoughts and ideas. Thank you! 🕊️🙏🏾🕉️💯

Thank you!

I so enjoyed listening to this again today 💕