My name is Hedi.
If you're passionate about leading a life of sovereignty,
This is your place.
Most people confuse their method with their mission or their vision.
What do I mean by that?
They worship the routine and the how instead of staying focused on the vision that they have for their lives.
And then when for whatever reason life happens and they can't stick to the routine,
They can't stick to the plan that they created for themselves.
They shame themselves,
They guilt themselves,
They feel like a failure.
And they can't caliber to the vision that they have and adapt and be flexible depending on how life is flowing.
As an example,
If you created this how in your mind about how it would look like if you were healthy or if you were committed to your fitness routine,
I will wake up at 5am,
Do all of these by the time I go to work.
But then what happens when life changes?
Like for example,
You have kids or you for whatever reason you feel tired and you can't wake up in the morning or your priorities shifted in life.
What happens?
The majority of the times people in these scenarios feel like a failure.
They shame themselves,
They guilt themselves,
They're like oh you should do more.
You should be able to wake up.
Why aren't you waking up?
And then they do this long enough.
They feel like a failure or they feel numb that they don't even want to do that.
But the truth is reaching your vision doesn't require commitment to the how.
It's actually requiring commitment to the vision.
And when you're committed to the vision what happens?
When the how no longer works,
When life gets in the way what do you do?
You start brainstorming.
It's like okay so this is not working.
I can't wake up in the morning anymore.
So this is not my priority anymore.
I need to adapt to life.
So what would I do?
Maybe I switch the time that I'm working out.
Maybe I make my workout a lot shorter than an hour that I used to do.
Now my life doesn't let me afford that.
So you become adaptable.
You become flexible because you're clear on the vision that you have for your life.
And especially nowadays with the pressure of social media and we see all the fitness gurus and the health gurus doing everything perfectly to the T.
We feel like we shouldn't look like them.
Our routine should like look like them to be whoever we want to be or to have that vision that we want to have for our lives.
But what happens over time?
Our focus from the vision that we have for our life,
For example for me my vision for my life is to be free,
Right?
To feel alive within my own bones.
But then if my commitment is to the how I'm getting there,
I need to be waking up doing all these checkbox exercises.
I get so wrapped up in this that it's actually this this routine on its own creates rigidity for me which is in opposition of the vision that I have for my life.
I was talking to a client the other day and she felt like she was failing at her routine.
She used to have this amazing routine.
She used to wake up in the morning early doing her journaling practice and then moving her body and she felt wonderful.
But then life was life.
So she couldn't wake up in the morning.
She felt fatigued.
She had some health issues.
She had some family issues.
And the more she tried to wake up in the morning the less she was successful.
And her alarm would go off a few times.
Like an hour later she maybe or maybe not waking up.
And she felt this deep shame and guilt.
And when she was telling me she was wearing this apology in her spine.
It's like no I didn't do that.
Like I failed.
It's like did you fail?
Did your vision fail?
Or did your commitment to the how failed your vision?
Right?
So what she needed was letting herself asleep in the morning because her body needed sleep to recover.
And instead change her structure.
Change her routine.
Be adaptable with the how.
Be flexible with the how.
I'll give you another example.
I had this vision of freedom for my business.
But sometimes I would get wrapped up in the how I got there.
There are thousands of ways that I could create that sustainable flexible business that creates a freedom that I crave.
But I was so wrapped up in one way of doing things that it would close all my options.
I wouldn't let my mind be flexible.
My brain be flexible with the strategies that I come up in the how I got there.
Right?
So I want to give you an opportunity to reflect on whatever that you think you're failing in.
What is it?
Like we all probably have a story that we're telling ourselves.
Maybe around our fitness.
Maybe around our job.
Maybe around our business.
Maybe around our relationship.
Where is it that you're committed?
You're more committed to the how and proving to yourself that you're wrong or you're mistaken or you never get what you want than being more committed to the vision that you want.
What is the vision?
What is that feeling that you want to experience in your body when you think about that ideal partnership or that ideal fitness routine that you have?
And are you willing to be flexible with the how?
So I give you a few journal prompts.
Number one,
I want you to write down what is your vision for your life.
Not just for your fitness.
Not just for your partnership.
Not just for your work.
What is your overarching umbrella for your life?
And write that vision.
And I highly recommend making that a sensational experience.
Oftentimes we say,
Oh I want this car.
I want this this.
I want like the salary.
But what does that even mean?
Like what how do you want to feel in your body?
I want to feel alive.
I want to feel free.
I want to have that expression of freedom.
So freedom might feel very different for me than it would feel for you.
Right?
So what is that feeling that is your vision for your life?
Just write it down.
If you feel like you don't know what that vision is,
Find a simplest thing.
Like ask yourself,
What does bring me pleasure right now?
What is it that I feel good thinking about?
Sometimes we're so disconnected.
We're so numb from our feeling body that we feel like we're not even worthy of feeling good.
We're not worthy of taking pleasure in the little things that life has to offer.
So take a moment.
What is the vision?
Where does it live in your body?
How does it feel in your body?
And now you want to come up with a flexible strategy of getting there.
For example,
If weight loss is your goal,
So there are thousands of ways that you could lose weight.
Right?
It's just a matter of you finding the right fit for you at the right time.
So you probably,
If you have tried this before,
You probably have the abundance of information on how you could use weight.
Right?
So write them all down.
Write all of them down.
They're all the choices you get to make.
So the question is,
What choice are you going to make right now?
And then recognizing in that moment is what are the potential obstacles that could come up?
So for you,
If this diet or this routine doesn't work,
What are the other alternatives that you could bring to the table?
That you're not fixated,
You're not rigid,
You're actually out there cheering yourself on to win,
To be successful.
So many of us are so committed to prove ourselves wrong,
To prove ourselves to be a failure,
To prove ourselves that we are not enough,
That we lose this context of actually,
If I were to cheer myself on,
If you were to be the one supporting myself to win in life,
There are so many things I would have done differently.
You may need to get a job while you're supporting your business.
So those are all options that you can look at and none of them are wrong.
And the other question within the same frame of work that you can ask yourself is,
Given my capacity right now,
What is the most life-giving way to get there?
So recognizing maybe you just gave birth to a baby and you're going through a massive life-changing event.
If you forced yourself into a fitness regimen that is soul-sucking,
You won't be able to enjoy your kid as much as you want and you would be too busy shaming and guilting yourself for not waking up to train.
So what would be the best course of action given your capacity?
And can you do that from this compassionate place that you actually care for yourself,
You actually want yourself to succeed and be compassionate and kind to yourself?
When we choose that kindness,
We actually have a softer lens of the whole self,
All the little things that you've done and you didn't do.
And you can really analyze yourself and your behaviors a lot more holistically than being laser-focused on one thing that you didn't do.
You can also have an and and say,
And I did that.
And then the next prompts that I want to give you,
What are your daily choices?
So when we're thinking of our daily choices,
I always encourage people to also think about it in the opposition form.
Like what do I mean by that?
It's like you're thinking of like,
I make a choice to do this and I make a choice not to do this.
Like writing down that I get to do this and I choose not to do this.
And being able to really establish your priorities.
Like I get to show up for my work.
I get to be in a creative flow.
I refuse to spend my time doom-scrolling on LinkedIn,
For example.
So what are the choices?
Let me know what are your choices and how this conversation landed for you.
The recognition and the understanding between the how and the vision has been super eye-opening for me.
And it really allowed me to catch myself when I get lost in the how or the method or the way,
Rather than staying focused on the vision and trusting that the vision will be holding me.
