Guided Meditation: Metta Practice Overview

Guided Meditation providing an overview of Metta (lovingkindness) practice.

Transcript

The Buddha said,

If you look the whole world over,

There's no one more worthy of your love and your kindness than yourself.

And then he said,

Likewise,

We can hold every other as dear.

One who genuinely loves oneself can never intentionally harm another.

So we are diving into this field of metta and metta potential.

This field of friendliness,

Goodwill,

Benevolence,

Loving kindness,

Care.

And the experience will include those expressions within ourselves.

They'll include those expressions for those we hold dear,

For those we don't know so well,

For those that we experience difficulty with,

And in the end,

No one left out,

All beings without exception.

And in the tradition of cultivating or training in this loving kindness,

This metta,

The instruction has been that we start simply,

That we start where it's easier,

And then we expand out into layers of more complexity,

Greater circles until no one's left out.

But in fact,

It's the quality of metta itself that matters.

So we're going to spend all week talking about all the different ones we can wish well to,

And we'll wish well to them all.

And sometimes it'll feel really juicy,

And sometimes it'll feel really dry,

Sometimes we'll feel like I can't do this another minute,

And sometimes we'll feel like we want to move into Spirit Rock and just do metta for the rest of our lives.

It'll all come and it'll all go.

But it's actually the quality of this metta itself that's the most important,

More important than the blessings or the well-wishing phrases that we're saying,

More important than who we're sending it to.

The Buddha suggested in his particular time and context that we might start with ourselves as an easy place.

He clearly didn't live in 2016 in the United States of America.

For some of us wishing well to ourselves,

Having that kindness and friendliness towards ourselves is the very most difficult.

Some of us have spent a whole year or more just knocking on the door of our own hearts with this metta because sometimes it takes a while.

And we bring that patience and care when it takes a while,

Whatever it is,

Whoever it is.

So for some of us,

We'll start with ourselves.

For some of us,

We'll start with someone that we feel a connection with,

Whether personal or maybe we don't even know them,

Which is kind of the next category.

So we've got some categories.

Let's introduce the categories.

We might wish well to ourselves.

We might wish well to a benefactor.

We might wish well to a good friend.

We might wish well to what we call here in this retreat a familiar stranger,

And the tradition is called the neutral person,

A familiar stranger.

We might wish well to someone we have difficulty with.

We might wish well to all beings.

In fact,

We will wish well to all of these.

For some of us,

This first day of the retreat,

We spend a lot of time with ourselves because it's the kindest possible thing we can do,

And we feel ready.

For others of us,

The kindest,

Wisest thing we could do is choose somebody else to begin to build what we call the meta muscle,

The capacity to experience something that's totally available to us,

This meta.

And so that one might be the benefactor.

So who's the benefactor?

Donald talks about having rehearsals for these different categories.

Sometimes we call them muses.

They're the muses for our meta.

So we do a little rehearsal.

Who might our benefactor be?

A benefactor is one who,

Whether we know them personally or not,

Inspires us.

Maybe we feel like they have our back in some way.

Perhaps they hold the role of an elder in our lives,

Which is not age-related.

It's somebody that we feel their wisdom.

It touches something in us.

We feel supported and inspired.

Sometimes it's a human being.

Sometimes it's an animal being.

For a few of us,

It's a being in the natural world,

Like a tree.

Just in case when you start doing your quick rehearsal of who are you going to choose,

A mentor maybe or a teacher?

And we might think of more than one.

And we choose one to stand in for all.

But inevitably,

In a group this large,

Someone might have the thought,

Nobody has my back.

I don't have any mentors.

I just experienced this and this.

Who would I choose?

For the last year and a half or so,

I've been using His Holiness the Dalai Lama as my benefactor.

And I've never personally met him,

And I probably never will.

And just even saying his name,

I feel the smile lighting up my face.

I know he wishes me well.

I know he wishes you well.

So maybe you choose somebody like that.

Whoever they choose,

They are the muse.

How do we wish well?

How do we extend this friendliness?

Of course,

It moves from the center of our being.

Some people experience it in the heart area.

Some people experience it through the whole body.

For some people,

It feels more like an emotion.

However you experience it is welcome.

In terms of the training and the cultivation of this quality,

It's already available,

That you've already experienced a hundred thousand times in your life.

But for the purpose of training,

We tend to use as an anchor for attention phrases of well-wishing.

Sometimes we call them blessings.

In the mindfulness meditation or insight meditation practice,

We often use the breath as the anchor or the home base to collect the attention around.

We'll do that here too.

We're not leaving mindfulness out.

As has been already said,

Mindfulness and metta are intertwined.

Mature mindfulness is full of metta,

And the mature metta is full of mindfulness.

But our anchor for the cultivation of metta are these blessings and phrases.

And so if you're brand new to this as a training,

We've offered a handout which has some possible blessings,

Some possible phrases of well-wishing.

And you might choose three or four of those,

Trusting that they're fine.

And just start to work with them a little over the course of the day,

Getting them memorized,

Seeing how they feel when you say them to yourself.

And then,

Of course,

For many of us,

We have phrases that we know by heart.

Please use those.

You've already got the groove going.

Just move right in to your metta groove.

Traditionally,

The phrases have a few what we call flavors,

And the flavors call themselves into the heart,

Into the mind,

Into the being.

They tend to be flavors connected with safety,

Flavors connected with happiness or peace.

Flavors connected with resiliency or health or well-being of the body.

And a flavor connected perhaps with ease,

If that's a quality that you connect with.

You don't have to have all those flavors,

But there's a way that when we attend to qualities like safety and well-being of the mind,

Well-being of the body,

Ease of well-being,

It calls them into the space of mind and heart.

It supports all of the reflections and flavors of metta to shine forth.

And I know that many of you have flavors that are different than the ones I just mentioned,

And they are beautiful.

Please do use them.

We tend to use three or four phrases of well-wishing.

Some of you might have one or two less or one or two more.

But it just gives enough words,

We could say,

Enough blessing for the mind not to get in a rut but also not come up with 25 phrases and trying to remember them all.

That's not the idea.

We drop in these phrases like drops of water in a pool,

And they start to ripple out.

And there's this important what I call the art of meditation.

There's many expressions of this.

In the metta practice,

One of the arts of meditation is the rhythm.

So we want to drop in these blessings in a rhythm that is moving along enough that the mind that wants to think about anything but the blessings actually has something to ground on,

To land on.

But we don't want to say them so quickly that we feel like metta machines.

We're not here to become expert phrase-sayers.

We're here to actually cultivate the quality.

And so the rhythm can include pauses to just feel what I call the echo of the practice.

Sylvia was saying last night,

Sometimes she says,

May I meet this moment fully,

And then takes a breath.

What's that like?

And then may I meet it as a friend,

And then a breath,

And what's that like?

It doesn't have to be that technical,

But it's the spirit of it.

Only we will know,

And it will vary.

Sometimes we'll need to speed it up a little because,

Wow,

Those other thoughts are in the foreground,

And we really want to encourage the metta blessings into the foreground.

And other times,

The phrases will actually start to disappear,

And they'll turn into one word,

And it's really more the direct experience of the metta in the foreground,

Just enough words to keep the support going.

Other supports.

If you have the type of mind that is supported by internal images,

They're very welcome in this practice.

All meditation practice is inherently creative,

And metta practice has some particular creative possibilities.

So for some of us,

We're very supported when we start wishing well to ourselves,

Or to a benefactor,

Which are the two that we might choose to work with today,

One or the other,

Or a little of one,

And then later some of the other,

And call up an image of them.

And if your mind works that way,

Let the image be really vibrant.

I don't know what they often wear,

How they carry their body,

Their facial structure,

The look in their eye when they smile at you,

And you can feel their well-wishing.

And then there's this natural impulse to complete the circle and send it back,

Whether it's yourself or a benefactor.

You can call up an image of yourself at a time when you felt a little safe,

A little happy,

A little at ease.

And it's not telling a whole story about that time.

It's about really calling up the image of the time and letting it touch our minds and hearts.

Some of us are not image-oriented in the mind.

Some of us are more somatically oriented.

It's a connection with the body.

And so in that case,

It might be,

Oh,

If I'm calling one of these muses to mind,

It's almost as if we're calling them into the hall with us.

And if they came into the hall and sat with us,

How would we feel in our body?

How would we feel somatically around this one?

And that can be a support for those of us that have that somatic orientation of body and mind.

There are many other supports,

But we have the whole retreat ahead of us.

What we do know is that by extending these blessings of well-wishing,

We're extending intentions.

So the mind inclines in the direction of friendliness and goodwill and benevolence.

And we can feel our whole being inclining with it.

And there's this inclination with each wish or with each set of wishes,

And then we release.

Because the thing about intention is that we're not in control of the results.

We begin to collect the mind-heart-body system in the direction of this metta.

Metta is a concentration practice.

You don't need to make a project of it.

It will concentrate itself.

And what we start to notice as we incline the mind,

Collect the mind,

Get in the rhythm and the groove of this practice is that sometimes it cycles into metta maturing.

And it just feels like how you'd think it would feel,

And it gets larger,

However that is for you.

It's really important to note that that is one part of the cycle.

What's the other part of the cycle?

The other part of the cycle is we extend some wishes and the opposite arrives.

Every metta retreat that I've ever taught,

Somebody has come in and said,

Heather,

When I say to myself,

May I be protected and safe,

I actually feel scared.

I don't feel protected and safe.

Am I doing it wrong?

And the answer is absolutely not.

We've created a field of friendliness in that moment powerful enough for everything that is a nearness of the metta,

The opposite of the metta,

That needs to be respectfully held in friendliness so that the metta can grow.

There's room for it to come and be known in awareness and friendliness,

And there's room for it to go.

Please don't doubt the power of your practice.

It's just a cycle.

Sometimes it's called a cycle of purification.

The opposite of metta comes.

It gets purified through a friendly,

Mindful attention,

And it releases,

And more metta is available.

So instead of thinking it as a problem,

Think of it as a cycle of clearing out everything that interferes with the most mature awake metta possible.

We'll get sleepy sometimes today.

The metta phrases will get muddled.

We'll talk about that more as the retreat goes on.

It's okay.

Just straighten your spine or open your eyes.

It's fine to stand up and practice metta for a few minutes and then sit back down.

The mind will go all over the place.

It will tell you a thousand stories,

Wanting,

Not wanting,

Doubts,

All this stuff.

You get restless.

These are frequent visitors to the beginning of a retreat.

Recognize them as a right-on-time visitor.

When those things come,

I say to myself,

Ah,

Day one.

That's so different than saying to myself,

I can't meditate.

Maybe I should go home.

You know the difference?

Ah,

Day one.

Sleepy,

Restless,

Busy mind,

Achy body,

Day one.

It'll pass.

May it pass soon.

May it be protected and safe.

May it be happy.

May it be healthy and strong.

May I live with these?

It's okay.

So we'll have a shorter meditation practice this 9 o'clock set today because it's really important to actually attend to these beginning pieces of sharing the possibilities of this practice,

Reminding those of us who have been before.

So we're actually going to start our practice with a very important piece,

And that's these precious bodies.

This is the vehicle we have to wake up in,

This body here.

So it's important to be mindful and friendly with this body,

And in this case,

In the body,

In the posture of sitting.

It's very suggested in these heart practices,

Including loving kindness,

That we sit in a posture,

If possible,

That is not excruciatingly painful.

It's fine to sit on the floor some meditations and then a different meditation if there's a chair available to sit in it and then to do another meditation on the floor.

If we're moving back and forth,

Maybe we don't claim a chair is mine so that somebody else can move back and forth with their meditation.

So just a beginning piece about friendliness and awareness with the posture.

You can take a moment to feel the whole posture of the body sitting here,

Just as it is.

What sensations tell you that you're sitting?

Please notice the sensations that tell you that the body is making contact with the earth.

It's not floating in space.

We know that.

How do we know that?

Let the body tell us.

Grounding.

If we're sitting on the floor,

We can make sure that the knees are fully supported to make contact with the floor.

Sometimes that means that we take a little cushion under the knee that sticks up or a shawl or something,

Or we straddle the cushion.

Whether we're on a chair,

A bench,

Or a cushion,

Maybe even just take a moment and wiggle the hips a little bit and just make sure that they have enough space,

Or at least as much space as they're going to have,

Friendly with how it actually is.

And whether we're on a chair or on the floor,

We can rock the pelvis forward just slightly,

Just a little bit,

So that there's a gentle curve in the low back that supports the lumbar.

Then we find our balance.

We can inhale the shoulders up and exhale them down the back body and create some space in the upper chest and what I call the space of heart,

So the breath has room to flow and feel the heart.

We can tuck in the chin just slightly,

Just enough so that we feel a sensation where the bottom of the skull meets the top vertebrae of the neck and it lengthens upright.

We can take a moment to feel the sensations in a friendly way of the hands resting.

Where are they resting?

Some of us rest our hands in the lap or place them on the legs.

Some of us notice over time that the arms and hands start slipping a little bit longer and sometimes that pulls on the neck and the shoulders,

So some of us tuck our hands in the lap and see if that starts to happen or we even put a little blanket or roll up a pair of socks or something just to support the hands staying close so that it doesn't pull on the shoulders and neck.

We can take a moment to feel the field of sensations that we very quickly label hands.

When we're feeling warm or cool,

Vibrating,

Pulsing,

Numb,

What's happening?

When we take a little time to ground or to feel the hands,

It actually helps support a sense of may I be safe on a deep,

Subtle body nervous system level.

It calms the body.

It's a friendly thing to do.

So one of the ways that I begin each meditation of metta in my own practice is a simple weave of metta mindfulness and that simple weave that I'll invite us into now is to bring the attention,

Bring awareness to what I call the space of heart.

So it includes the physical heart,

But we're not emphasizing the physical heart.

The space of heart is the upper chest and the back body and the shoulder blades behind the heart.

Some of us put a hand on the heart when we practice metta.

What a kind,

Welcoming thing to do.

Nobody's looking,

So you can feel free whenever it feels right.

So whether we put a hand on the heart or not,

We can begin to notice this aliveness of the breath breathing us and it moves through the whole body and so too it moves through the space of heart.

See if you can notice the sensations of breath in the upper chest,

The space of heart,

The aliveness of it,

The gratitude for it.

So too we can acknowledge in a mindful way,

Acknowledge in a mindful awareness the environment of the mind as we breathe through the space of heart.

And the way that we merge the metta and mindfulness is we can bring a warm,

Open,

Friendly attention to whatever sensations or moods are present just now as we breathe in and out through the space of heart.

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And then as we feel ready,

As we feel called,

We can choose to invite into the foreground of attention these blessings,

These phrases of while wishing.

And we can make the choice that for the next few minutes of this more formal metta meditation,

Maybe we make the choice that for the whole morning today,

Just so we can get some traction,

We'll try out the loving kindness with ourselves or with a benefactor.

So we choose who our muse will be.

And after we've taken our time to choose,

Some of us are still choosing,

That's fine.

But we can remember these supports of calling up an internal image of them or how we feel somatically when they came in the hall and sat down before us.

And we began to drop in these wishes like drops of water,

Refamiliaring ourselves,

Connecting with them,

Finding our rhythm.

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Reviews

More of a talk, short meditation at the end, but very nice and helpful.

Excellent toolbox for building a metta practice.