Sat Nam and welcome.
Please get comfy.
Lay down if you'd like.
Close your eyes.
Arms outstretched palms towards the sky.
Let's do a guided meditation together with a mantra.
After this short poem,
Some things you just can't let go of some conversations,
Some infractions,
Words that were spoken.
Actions that can't be forgotten.
They swirl around inside continuously.
You give yourself pep talks to just let it go.
But you can't.
It might leave for a second and it's back the very next.
Always waiting.
Waiting to remind you why you're upset.
Ready to replay the injustice at a moment's notice.
Each time with fresh emotion.
As if it just happened.
You find yourself asking how you're not tired of replaying the same scene over and over.
Why can't you just find acceptance?
Or believe when you say that it wasn't that bad.
But the hurt has lodged itself inside already,
Deeply.
The betrayal is not so easily dismissed.
It will be heard.
And it won't be shooed away.
This pain is a swirling ball of energy.
It feels like it has a life of its own.
It doesn't.
But it sure does take over your life for a while.
And like a tornado,
It consumes all other energy sources it finds.
Energy that was to be allotted to kids has been swept up by the vortex.
Work energy gone.
Exercise energy disappeared.
All vitality is held hostage until this ball is dislodged.
The mind is stuck on replay because it's trying to make sense of what happened.
But above all,
It's trying to drive a stake into the ground and say,
I am here.
I am in control.
And if I think about this long enough,
I'll figure out who was wrong.
And what I should feel guilt and shame and regret about.
And to confirm that I am justified in my anger.
But also,
How do I fix this?
How can I make this go away?
Because I am in hell.
But the mind can't heal the mind.
So how do I make it go away?
What makes the all consuming thoughts ease?
Does shushing it?
No.
Ignoring it?
Definitely not.
What about pep talks to move past it?
Nope.
Surely exercise or journaling or fill in the blank with anything positive?
Temporarily yes,
And then no.
And although this feels scary and unbeatable,
It's not.
This ball of energy is just that energy.
It's not bad or evil,
Nor something to be feared.
It's just energy,
A living source full of emotion and history.
It is a part of you.
And so it deserves all the care you can muster the level of care you would give another.
Because of course,
There's validity to the feeling.
Of course,
You're upset and rightly so.
So speak up.
Say I see you sadness.
Anybody would feel hurt by that type of betrayal.
I sure am.
No need to shoo away sadness so quickly.
Be hurt.
Feel her.
Let sadness sit on your chest.
She'll be there anyway.
So give her the decency of acknowledgement.
May your heart be soft towards your big emotions.
Like a mother rocking her newborn late at night.
Rock your sadness.
Rock your fear.
Rock your hurt.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
We rock comforting the crying.
Humming a lullaby.
Kissing and nuzzling the soft spots inside.
Allowing your body to be used as a pillow.
Adjusting with a fidgeting of another trying to get comfortable.
The God like patience and unconditional love of a mother resides within you.
So we rock patiently and lovingly.
And if this doesn't help,
If nothing helps,
Just remember,
Everything changes.
Every single thing in an instant sometimes.
So although you may be consumed by this energy now,
Tomorrow might be different.
And if not tomorrow,
Next week.
It'll be different because perspectives change.
The energy breaks.
One of those positive things you listed above very well might dislodge the pain.
Never discount the might of healing exercises.
So try not to make big decisions during this time.
Or believe the thoughts too much.
Because thoughts and emotions during this time are on loudspeaker.
Oftentimes being so loud that they drown out logic and truth.
It's okay to consolidate,
To regroup,
To hunker down and wait for daylight.
Because it's coming.
It always does.
And while you're hunkered down and waiting.
Imagine that you're floating in a body of water.
Just drift.
Let your body be carried.
Weightless,
Arms outstretched,
Sun on your face.
At peace.
You begin to hum.
Be high.
Be high.
It matters not that the words are unfamiliar.
For the power is in the sound.
The vibration of the mantra is sacred.
So you keep humming.
I float in healing water.
I am suspended.
We are we and we are one.
I am in a bubble of peace.
My body bobs up and down.
Softly.
Up and down.
Up and down.
In this water,
All is effortless.
Life is calm.
There's total protection.
I love myself without a single condition.
A divine love.
The same true love that is given to me so freely.
Me,
I now give to myself.
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Passion for this hurting heart of mine bubbles to the surface.
It has endured so much.
And yet,
It beats so full of hope.
I feel my heart awaken.
My source of truth and my anchor.
I feel its warmth.
I find myself reaching up to hold my heart.
And all the tenderness in the world.
I tell myself what I need to hear.
For only I know what will bring comfort.
It's not my fault.
I tried the best I could.
I did not deserve this.
Whatever happened,
Whoever is to blame.
My value does not diminish,
Even a drop.
I will get through this.
I give myself permission to feel my big feelings until I'm good and ready to move on.
I'll forgive when and if I choose to.
From this point forward,
No one and nothing will steal my peaceful and present moments.
Life is only working for my good.
This is an opportunity,
Nothing more.
I embrace this challenge as if I chose it.
I take a breath in and exhale it out.
In and out,
Bringing peace to myself.
I asked the Great Mother for support and guidance.
I release willingly.
I'm open to learning to look at this a different way.
My commitment is to myself to protect and watch over me.
I pause before reacting.
I stay in my power.
Nothing lasts forever.
Maybe no words are needed,
Or no words will help.
So you return to the mantra over and over again.
Whenever the loop starts playing,
Return to the mantra.
MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA MIHA Return to just humming.
Grow quiet,
Turn inwards,
Return to the breath.
Take a big breath in.
Exhale.
Full inhale.
Let it go.
One more time.
Inhale.
Exhale.
May all who are weary find peace.
May you take good care of yourself.
Always remember to return to the breath and to the mantra.
You will get through this.
You are strong.
You are capable.
All will be well.
All is well.
Sat Nam.
