This exercise is called Soften Soothe Allow.
To begin,
Gently allow yourself to close your eyes and become aware of the fact that you're breathing.
Taking a few breaths and just allowing yourself to settle into the moment.
To assist you in settling in,
I'll ring a bell and just gently listening for the moment that the bell sound turns into silence.
Allowing this to guide you back to the present moment.
And following your breath in and out of your body.
Just allowing your body to soften and relax with the flow of your breath.
It may help to place a hand on your heart and just feeling the warmth and comfort that this brings you.
And when you're ready,
Gently bringing to mind a difficult situation or emotion that you're struggling with at the moment.
Perhaps the difficulty that you're having with your partner,
Something that's come up at work,
A loss that you've experienced.
And just noticing where you feel this in your body.
Perhaps in your chest,
In your stomach,
Maybe in your throat or your shoulders.
And seeing if you can label the emotion.
Just labeling it in a soft and gentle voice to yourself.
Perhaps this is grief or this is shame or this is anger.
And really noticing where you can feel the emotion in your body.
Bringing your attention to that spot.
And gently inclining yourself towards this part of your body.
Maybe you have tightness in your chest,
A lump in your throat,
Tension in your stomach.
And just softening into that location of your body.
Just softening.
Having the muscles soften without requiring that they become soft.
Like simply applying heat to sore muscles.
You might say to yourself,
Soften,
Soften,
Soften.
Feeling that you're not trying to make the sensations go away,
You're just being with them in loving awareness.
And if it's too difficult to go deep into the emotion,
Perhaps allowing yourself just to soften around the edges.
There's no need to go all the way in.
And now moving to soothing yourself for struggling in this way.
Placing your hand over your heart and feeling your body breathing.
Feeling any tension to drain away.
Letting your shoulders drop,
Your face to loosen.
And gently offering yourself some kindness in this moment.
Perhaps kind words arise in your mind to help soothe you at this time.
Something like,
This is painful my darling,
May you be at peace.
Just finding your own words to soothe yourself.
If you wish,
You can also bring direct kindness to the part of your body that's under stress.
By placing your hand in this place.
It may help to think of your body as if it were the body of a beloved child.
You can say kind words to yourself.
Or just repeat.
Soothing,
Soothing,
Soothing.
Allowing the warmth and kindness to flow to this part of your body.
And allowing the discomfort to be there.
Not pushing it away.
Softening the wish for this feeling to disappear.
Letting the discomfort come and go as it pleases.
Like a guest in your own home.
You can repeat.
Allowing,
Allowing,
Allowing.
Just softening around the experience.
Allowing it to rest in your body.
Letting go of the struggle.
Soften,
Soothe,
Allow.
Perhaps saying to yourself,
Soften,
Soothe,
Allow.
You can use these three words like a mantra.
Reminding yourself to incline with tenderness towards your own suffering.
In any moment of struggle,
You can simply come back to these three simple words.
Soften,
Soothe,
Allow.
Just resting in your own ability to hold and comfort yourself through pain or struggle.
And just resting for a few more breaths.
Just breathing in and out slowly.
And when you're ready,
Gently bringing yourself back to the room.
