Healing Attachment Trauma ~ The Ideal Parent Figure Protocol

The IPF protocol was developed by Dr. Dan Brown to help anxiously attached humans shift toward a more secure attachment style. This version includes ‘added empathy’, grounded in Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

Know that you don’t need to visualize clearly. Feeling your imagination is more important than seeing images.

After the practice, I invite you to journal: reflect on your experience and notice if any needs arise… perhaps safety or protection? Appreciation? Use an NVC needs list and choose a need that stands out. Imagine what it would be like if that need were completely met. Let your imagination move freely and feel the warmth of that fulfillment.

Sometimes pain can arise during this work. This is natural. Be kind to yourself and don’t push through. Feel free to message me if anything comes up that you’d like more guidance with.

The benefits of this work tend to increase with repeated practice.

I wish you a healing journey.

music: Healing Meditation Music
image: Getty

Reviews

As a survivor of chronic childhood conflict and stress, psychological and emotional abuses, ongoing bullying and stalking, and other domestic-based traumas, this was especially suited to my lived experiences. The practice and individual exercises & visualizations proved useful, a bit liberating, and they indeed yielded some new insights.

If I might make one observation or suggestion: there is a part of the psyche that, while engaging in the imagining of the “ideal” humans, feels the tug and the tinge of a sense of disloyalty towards and unappreciation of the actual historical parentage. A fleeting, but still recurrent feeling of…betrayal. And so, in turn, arose some moderate but all the same unwelcome feelings of guilt and shame for me.

How might you suggest that we prepare for that possibility, and what self-talk—either before or following your practice—would be helpful in perhaps quieting those impulses, those negative self-judgments that we are somehow being terribly unfair and/or unrealistic, or perhaps even betraying or being disloyal to our real caregivers (or our memories thereof)—in spite of both their flaws, and, more importantly, in recognition of all of the things that *were* beneficial and nurturing?

Heel bijzonder. Heel speciaal en helend. Ongelooflijk hoeveel inzichten dit geeft. Dankjewel Hans

That was so hard that i only made it through the first 15 minutes. The pain the scenes brought up, the lack of anything remotely close to what I know I missed brought up old grief that is so deep and so painful I had to stop for now. I think the damage is permanent. Its more about making peace with life at this point. I wish I had such meditations when i was younger. You're doing such a service for people. I hope I can revisit this meditation periodically and maybe eventually get through it with some sense of healing and comfort.

So beautiful and healing. My therapist has used this method with me a lot in my sessions over the years and it’s so helpful to have someone guide you through scenarios. This is deeply effective. Thank you so so much.

I highly recommend this teacher and I highly recommend his courses.