Character Development: Social Intelligence And Affirmations

In Episode 6 of our Character Strengths Affirmation Series, we explore the strength of Social Intelligence, an aspect of the virtue of Humanity that allows us to perceive emotions—both our own and others'—and respond in ways that foster understanding and connection.

Social intelligence is more than just understanding others—it is a deep awareness of emotions, relationships, and the subtle currents that shape human connection. My hope is that this episode offers you insight into the depth of social intelligence, not just as a skill but as a practice of empathy, attunement, and authentic presence.

Through discussion and affirmations, we will nurture our capacity to connect with wisdom, navigate relationships with care, and honor the shared humanity in every interaction.

With love,
Hannah

Transcript

In a world that often focuses so much on what we lack,

It's easy to overlook the incredible internal strengths that each of us possess.

Grounded in ancient philosophy and modern science,

This series invites you to reconnect with the innate strengths that make you who you are,

Promoting balance and harmony in everyday life.

Whether you're looking to boost your confidence,

Overcome negative self-talk,

Deepen your relationships,

Or simply invite a greater sense of well-being,

My hope is that this series offers a practical and uplifting path to personal growth.

Hello gorgeous people and welcome to our character strengths affirmation series.

Each session we explore one of the 24 character strengths identified by positive psychology,

All of which fall under the virtues of courage,

Humanity,

Wisdom,

Justice,

Temperance,

Or transcendence.

These strengths and virtues are universal and they form the foundation of our highest selves.

If you haven't already,

I do recommend that you check out the intro episode which will provide some background information on what to expect from the series.

We are currently exploring the virtue of humanity.

The Values in Action or VIA Institute defines humanity as our capacity to value and nurture relationships and recognize the worth of every individual.

It embodies the qualities that allow us to connect with others in a compassionate and empathetic way,

Fostering bonds that enrich our lives and the lives of those around us.

The virtue of humanity includes the character strengths of love,

Kindness,

And social intelligence.

We've already gone over love and kindness and in today's session we will be focusing on social intelligence and social intelligence affirmations.

All right,

So now we can get into it.

All the intro stuff is out of the way.

Social intelligence,

What is it?

It is a skill that involves being able to tune in to the social situation,

Read others effectively,

And behave in a way that fits the social context.

Basically,

Social intelligence is about being able to catch a vibe and read the room.

It's how we navigate the complexities of human interaction.

Social intelligence goes beyond simple social skills and involves a deeper understanding of both our own emotions and experiences and that of those around us.

This heightened awareness allows us to connect more easily with other people,

Interpret social cues accurately,

And respond in ways that are appropriate and empathetic.

Pro-social is a key term,

I think,

For social intelligence.

The result is a greater sense of comfort and confidence in a variety of social settings,

Which can foster new relationships,

Social engagement,

And open doors to new opportunities.

The strength of social intelligence is complex.

I think that's a good word for it.

You know,

I think about the Walt Whitman line where he says,

I am large,

I contain multitudes,

And to me that illustrates one person on their own has a lot going on.

You know,

We all have lots of stories and thoughts and perspectives and feelings and experiences and histories and hopes and dreams,

And then you take that person and you put them by another person.

And Carl Jung actually has a great line where he says,

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances.

If there's any reaction,

Both are transformed.

And I like that quote in particular,

Because it says to me that we're all really different.

And that what I create in the presence and what I become in the presence of another person is largely based on the interaction that we create.

It's this idea of the the me that I show up as in one social setting is going to be different than in a different social setting.

And that's a good thing.

Anyway,

So I have broken social intelligence down into several key elements,

I want to be clear that these elements are not from the VIA Institute,

They're not from any particular framework,

They're not researched,

Full transparency here.

They're just my best attempt at identifying what I think are the components of social intelligence after parsing through a lot of readings.

And they're the aspects that I think are key to understanding that this is a multi dimensional strength that manifests as a single strength,

But that you can work on particular areas of it to improve.

Before I list these,

I do want to say that it is really important to note the role that culture plays in navigating social situations.

There are a lot of books and podcasts on this.

So I don't feel honestly,

I would love to go into like cross cultural differences of social interactions.

That would be really fun and exciting for me.

It's unfortunately just not the purpose of this episode and I have to rein it in and I have to stay on topic and respect y'all's time.

So if that's something that you're interested in,

I definitely recommend maybe talking about it in the comments and seeing if we can get some recommendations going.

But I just wanted to put that out there before I got into this list that we don't want to have too much of an ethnocentric perspective when it comes to how we engage with other people.

Things like eye contact,

Touching,

How close or far away we are when we're engaging with somebody,

The duration of how much time we expect to spend with somebody,

All of these things completely change depending upon where in the world you are and just keep that in mind.

Okay,

So in no particular order,

The first component that I've identified is social awareness.

This involves being able to be attuned to social cues like body language,

Facial expressions,

Tone of voice.

So just some examples of this,

Maybe you're in a meeting at work and you notice that a colleague is exchanging glances and shifting in their seat when a particular topic is brought up.

Recognizing this as discomfort or disagreement,

You can tactfully address the issue,

Inviting some open discussion,

Maybe even meeting them in private if they look particularly uncomfortable.

Another example might be picking up on subtle changes in tone,

So maybe you're having a conversation with a friend and their tone becomes slightly more monotone when talking about something going on in their life.

From this,

You can sense that something might be bothering them and check in.

Moving right along,

Our next component is empathy,

Which allows us to get a sense of the current emotional status of the others in our direct environment.

So some examples of empathy and social interactions might be the importance of just recognizing emotional states.

So let's say you notice a family member is looking stressed and overwhelmed.

You can acknowledge their feelings by saying,

It appears to me that something might be coming up for you,

Like,

Do you care to say more about that?

This reflects that we understand others' emotions and are also willing to offer support and willing to say,

I see you in this moment.

Another example of this empathy is just acknowledging different perspectives.

So let's say you're in a debate or an argument,

A constructive argument.

Instead of dismissing or opposing a viewpoint,

You might be able to acknowledge,

Okay,

I understand where you're coming from and I actually really appreciate that perspective.

This cognitive empathy allows us to understand and respect different viewpoints,

Which is essential for conflict resolution and effective communication.

It's this ability to see through to someone's intentions and not just the impact of what they're saying.

Just another example that's kind of similar to that one is being able to listen without judgment.

So let's say you have a friend who's experiencing a personal struggle.

Instead of offering immediate solutions or dismissing their feelings because they make you uncomfortable,

We can observe that they're having an emotion,

Observe that maybe we're experiencing an emotion in response to that and kind of separate what's theirs and what's mine and then validate their experience by just saying something like,

That sounds like that's been really tough for you.

So this emotional empathy allows us to build trust and deepen our relationships.

So far we have social awareness,

Which is really just our ability to interpret our surroundings.

We have empathy,

Which is our capacity to,

On a deeper level,

Understand what the emotional tone,

The mood of the environment is and know how to sort of navigate that.

The third element is going to be interpersonal skills.

So this is how we actually interact and engage with others.

It includes our capacity for active listening,

Clear communication,

The approach we take to conflict and conflict resolution.

It's the doing component of engaging with other people.

Just to go into that a little bit more deeply,

I'll provide some examples like I did with the other one.

So let's say for active listening,

You're at work,

You're in a team discussion,

You've got something you want to share.

Instead of interrupting,

You maybe jot down what you are gonna say so you don't forget it.

And then you listen to what your colleague is saying.

And you don't just listen to respond,

But you really listen to hear them.

And maybe you're engaging in some of those body language cues that we talked about,

Like nodding along while they're talking.

I'm such a nodder.

Y'all,

If you're ever like in a discussion with me and I'm listening,

I'm just gonna be,

I'm like a bobblehead.

And then when you do go to speak,

You start by paraphrasing what they said to ensure that you have a clear understanding.

This will change your life.

This,

And now,

If you're listening to this and you're like,

But they'll go on for forever.

Like if you're thinking of a particular person who will just go on and on and on.

Like we have to know social boundaries,

That's another skill that we need to have.

But in most cases,

I think so often we're so rushed in a way that we really don't need to be.

And that actually,

Like a lot of meetings,

If they were designed differently,

Could be much more effective if we slowed down and just prioritize what really mattered.

But that's a topic for another day.

It's important because active listening allows us to foster mutual respect.

It really ensures,

In addition to that empathy,

That people feel heard,

Not just,

I guess,

Listened to.

And this enhances a sense of collaboration.

Another example,

I'm thinking like in terms of clear communication.

Let's say you're,

Again,

Like,

Let's say maybe you're at work,

And you're presenting a new project.

There's one thing I've learned,

It's that sometimes you just need help seeing the forest through the trees.

Like sometimes you can get so deep into the nitty-gritty of things.

This happens a lot for me in like research where I'll just be reading papers,

And I'll just be like,

What was the point of all of this?

Communicating clearly is about engaging in the practice of imagining what it would be like to listen to what you're saying and have no idea going into the conversation what it is that you're talking about.

It's like assume that people know very little while also meeting them where they're at intellectually.

It's a fine balance,

But you know,

I mean,

It's things like having simple language,

Organized ideas,

Visual aids,

And then asking,

Like,

Did that make sense?

Are you with me?

You know,

Maybe checking in throughout if anybody needs any additional information.

This is a really key part,

I think,

Of social intelligence is being able to convey ideas in a way that's effective and then ensuring that there's a shared understanding.

So we've already mentioned conflict.

I think when it comes to the skill of conflict,

In addition to empathy,

Of course,

It's this ability to and okay,

So just a reminder,

We're in the virtue of humanity.

And so often our ideas are really tightly wrapped up in our sense of safety.

This is why we get so defensive about our political ideas or our spiritual beliefs is because it's tied up with our way of making sense of the world.

And in our values about who and what deserves time,

Energy,

Resources,

Etc.

And so like when I think about like real conflict,

You know,

Where it's really hard to like settle on something.

The challenge is,

Like I said,

Being able to listen without agreeing.

And what the skill that underlies that one is being able to see that there's a person behind the idea that they're sharing.

In the love episode,

We talked about loving kindness and meta practice and how that involves working with a difficult person,

A quote unquote,

Difficult person.

And almost everybody listening,

I'm sure a face just popped into your mind,

Like we all have them,

Unless you're enlightened.

And,

You know,

Just here to be a source of love and kindness to us all.

Which thanks,

Happy to have you,

Then you're human.

And we all have those relationships and those dynamics that are challenging.

It's so important to be able to engage in conflict in a way that's meaningful.

So okay,

We'll provide an example.

Let's say there's a disagreement going on.

Rule number one,

I statements.

How can we with our language illustrate that we're speaking for ourselves,

That we're talking about our experience,

And not trying to speak on behalf of the person that we're talking to,

Or make assumptions.

A very simple way to do this is by using I statements,

I feel I think my experience was,

In contrast to you make me feel this,

You do this,

And it drives me nuts.

That,

Of course,

Is going to put somebody on the defense,

And it's saying it's you against me.

In conflict,

What if instead,

It was us together against the problem at hand.

Even in simple ways,

Getting back to the like body language stuff,

I in my relationships have learned that if I'm going to be having a discussion with somebody that's challenging,

Or is bringing up different perspectives that maybe brings emotions up for one or both of us,

Rather than sitting across from them,

Especially in a dinner setting,

I have learned no big talks out to eat,

I'm going to lose my appetite,

Like it's just it's not going to work.

So maybe while walking together side by side,

That way,

It's like me and this other person looking out at the world before us and being curious together,

Rather than this vibe of like me against you.

With that,

And this is just like social interactions in general,

Is being able to know like when you're not in a place to engage in active,

This is again,

This is going back to that virtue bypass,

I may have it in my mind that I can listen without agreeing.

And then I'm listening.

And my body is my fists are clenched.

What is that like Arthur meme that went around like a decade ago of just his like tiny hand in a fist.

Like that's the feeling that we all know,

You know,

Part of conflict management is being able to have boundaries over what you was showing up to the conversation.

The challenging aspect of conflict is that a lot of times we want to just be heard.

You know,

I mean,

Quite frankly,

That might depend upon our attachment and style.

If you're like codependent,

Then maybe you're like,

I'll just listen and it's good.

Good luck.

Or maybe you're avoiding and you're like,

I don't want to be heard or seen or felt and I don't want to hear you and I just want to not have the conflict.

So you know,

It depends.

We all show up different.

But listen,

We're working on our higher selves here.

So let's assume that we've done some work to show up from a secure place.

And we want to navigate conflict well.

Everybody gets a seat at the table.

I use that language a lot when I'm teaching meditation these days,

Where I'm talking about like all of your thoughts and feelings and all of it like it's all here.

But the same is true for this social interaction.

Like,

They have a whole life and a whole lived experience.

And they too have struggled and they too have had difficult experiences.

And they too have hopes and dreams.

And how can there be enough space in the universe for both of your experiences to be held in this moment?

How can we make time for both of those things to be heard?

Okey dokey.

So so far,

We have covered social awareness,

Empathy,

Interpersonal skills,

The final component that I have identified is adaptability,

Which speaks to our capacity to stay flexible and adjust our behavior to suit different people in different situations.

So you can have great social awareness,

You can read the room,

You can be very empathetic,

You can catch a vibe,

You can have strong interpersonal skills when it comes to communicating.

I don't know why I said it that way.

Active listening,

Conflict resolution,

Etc.

Every single one of those things can be true.

And yet you can still struggle with being adaptable.

So adaptability can operate on a couple different levels.

On one level,

It involves how easily we can adapt or draw out different parts of our personality to meet the social situation.

So I kind of talked about this at the beginning of the episode,

But it's this,

You know,

We act differently with our friends than we do with our boss than we do with our neighbor than we do with our elders.

And that's for good reason.

That's good.

We want to be able to like going back to that Walt Whitman quote of all the multitudes that exist within me,

Which ones are going to become externalized in this moment with this individual.

So that's the first element of adaptability.

The second element,

And this is to all my anxious boys and girls out there,

Men and women and everybody in between and outside of those constraints.

I'm talking about our ability to let go of our desire to control a social situation and to over plan and think that we know what's going to happen in the future.

If we can just make a list,

Maybe we can manifest it.

I too have been one of those people who first thing in the morning is asking the crew,

What are we doing today?

Only to become a buzzkill because they just wanted to take the day as it came.

I too know how viscerally uncomfortable this can be.

I too have had to learn through tremendous surrender,

The glorious art of following one's intuition in the moment and being spontaneous.

So maybe now we get into our little discussion about balance.

Each episode I talk about the importance of understanding that virtue exists between two vices and balance when it comes to character development is essential.

Implications for social intelligence without understanding is that,

Okay so operating from a deficit,

Not enough social intelligence.

That can result in social awkwardness,

Detachment,

A lack of awareness,

Maybe it's giving controlling vibes.

All of this can lead to isolation or strained relationships.

I personally have spent many a year operating in the deficit side of things,

Honestly oscillating between deficit and too much,

Which we'll get into in a little bit.

Now I don't know if this is gonna surprise anybody but I used to be like really awkward,

Like so unfortunately awkward.

Truly I was so introverted and was just really used to being a fly on the wall.

It was like I would just forget that other people could see me.

I was like living in a fiction novel and I also have like a tremendous tendency toward existentialism which is great but I have had to learn to come up for error sometimes.

I do have a story that provides an example of both of these challenges that I have had to overcome.

In an earlier episode I referenced my quote-unquote tumultuous upbringing and I'm bringing it up again not to like be or whatever but just to say that I had things going on in the household that were of greater importance than what most children I think have to care about.

And so I would be sitting at the lunchroom and kids would be talking about I don't know like what they wanted for Christmas and I would be like um like I just hope the water's turned on by the time I get home.

Like I don't know what to say to you.

So I yeah I mean I just didn't have practice relating to other kids in the way that you're supposed to learn in your adolescence and in high school and honestly come high school I was like I'm not interested.

Like I'm just gonna eat my lunch in the band room and read my little book and like contact me if you need tutoring I'll be here.

So by the time I got to college I was excited to meet people who I you know I think a lot of us have a lot of limiting beliefs especially if we kind of stay where we grew up about who we can and cannot be in the context of other people.

Jay Shetty quotes this quote I don't know who the quote is but he references this quote all the time where he says I don't see myself or see myself the way that other people see me I see myself the way I think other people see me and that assumption so often causes us so much suffering but I was really eager to try to start breaking some of those down when I got to college but also just was scared just was like big scared and was comfortable with my little life of solitude and quiet and I yeah like I think about like Friday nights in college freshman year and sophomore year my roommates would be going to a party or a bar and I would be going to like Shabbat dinner with my sisters or honestly more often later meditation Friday nights shout out to insight in Madison Wisconsin y'all are the sweetest people in the whole world I miss that community a lot anyway so that's the context that's what we're working with when it comes to the story I'm about to tell you one day I find myself at a house party one of my friends was in one of the bands that were playing and I said that I would go and I was honestly having tremendous writer's block and so I was like maybe if we shake things up a little I'll get some inspiration this is back when I was studying creative writing and I I just remember sitting in this living room on the outside you know just observing taking it all in existentialist vibes like you if you know you know and one of the gentlemen in the center of the room notices me and he calls out like yo Hannah what are you thinking about and I was like do I say it and I'm like so nervous and confused and now people are quiet and looking at me like what's on her mind it must be something so interesting something so relevant and I just go so like what do you guys think God is they were like Hannah like no like we're not going there right now like for real and I think that I just kind of chuckled and was like he he and then was like I gotta get out of here like clearly I am NOT matching whatever the energy is the truth the truth this is something I'm still working on I was at a gathering a few weeks ago and someone shared with me what they do for a living and I was like that's so cool does it give you a sense of meaning and purpose and they were like it pays the bills like next question and I was like oh my gosh so sorry like so sorry to just like spring that onto you yeah so it's it's embarrassing all of its quite embarrassing and I just am very grateful that you all are all listening to me with non-judgmental open curiosity and also if you're one of those friends who like sees me and they're like hands on my shoulders shaking me could you come up for air please like I just need the giggles none of this what's it all for questioning thank you I love you you're a real one so for me it's a matter of balancing that everything is not so deep for other people maybe for some of you it's the opposite of that learning that it's okay for everything to not be sunshine and rainbows or for everything to be positive all the time or silly or goofy and that instead we can take off these masks and just be present for the depths of the human experience maybe another example of this deficit is that when certain things get brought up certain topics make the docket you just shut down emotionally and you don't even notice that you have lost all affect in this engagement and all of a sudden there's like a detachment that's gone on so being able to notice what are those things for me that are maybe more touchy how do I integrate conversational boundaries or explore that to see what's actually coming up for me what fear is and belief system is underlying this thing that's happening for me some ways to improve the deficit I don't always kind of talk about like ways for navigating the the different vices but it feels I feel obliged to when it comes to social intelligence maybe because I used to be just like really such a weirdo and was like please for the love of all that is good could someone just throw me a bone one tip would just be really working on those active listening skills and practicing non-judgment so for me what helped me a lot and just being able to observe the moment and not get so caught up and what's coming up for me was practicing mindfulness and meditation in social environments so I not I'm not talking about like social environments that are specifically geared around meditation I clearly had plenty of practice with that and still like showed up at a completely different environment and it didn't translate the same so being able to actually practice those skills and work on those skills in a safe and similar environment helps with that skill translation another really valuable skill that you can add is asking those open-ended questions what I mean by this is are my questions leading them to really share things about themselves or am I just information gathering for the sake of information gathering where they're just saying yes and no which is really not super interesting and also we get so much more information from somebody's relationship to their experiences than we would just learning about the facts and figures of their experience so opening up your vocabulary and the way that you ask questions to what and how and not just things that would result in a yes or no another great one is to learn more about nonverbal communication which includes those cues like facial expressions gestures posture and eye contact I'm not gonna go too deep into this because there's a woman who I think has done a lot of really excellent work on it that I encourage you check out I'm not affiliated with her in any way at all but if you're looking for more support in this area of nonverbal cues her name is Vanessa van Edwards and she's a body language expert and she has a lot of resources but also just some great podcasts out there a final skill that I'll recommend is learning to ask for feedback from folks whose perspective you value I want to note that for folks who are neuro atypical and maybe have a harder time reading between the lines or catching those subtle cues it's okay to just ask I have people close to me who have learned to ask directly you know what did you mean when you said or did XYZ could you explain that to me or they'll even say and be forthright like I don't understand metaphors like you like I'm not gonna catch the simile if you do that or they'll say like I'm not I don't do well with body cues specifically I might not look you in the eye when you're talking because it makes me really uncomfortable but just know that I'm listening so I think bottom line here is just to say that if you were not perfect it's okay to be different it's okay to be a little weird you know it's the spice of life but being able to know that about yourself it's that number one like just be socially and self-aware and then be honest with the people that you care about about how you show up it's that like because they can make sense of it they can process it and hold space for it rather than maybe making assumptions or internalizing it or taking it personally okay so on the other side of the virtue spectrum and excess a social intelligence can also manifest in different ways I actually think that a lot of people pleasers and empaths are really strong in social intelligence but this ability to tune in becomes a sort of burden of responsibility rather than it being a gift that we have a right to control how and when is dispersed this can lead to unnecessary anxiety and burnout excess can also manifest as being overly dominating or engaging in manipulative behavior wherein maybe reading social cues is used solely for personal gain this is something that maybe we have to navigate in particular when we're going from being in more of a business setting let's say to social interpersonal loving setting you know being able to I don't that's a little bit negative but adapt to the environment that you're in yet another form that this excess can take is excessively adjusting one's behavior to fit the social expectations at the expense of personal authenticity so to what I was just saying being able to adapt but noticing if we're changing so much solely to fit in that we've lost ourselves in the process each of these can lead to stressful unbalanced and or shallow relationships I think one thing to be mindful of is the tendency to feel like we have to perform for others and being mindful of which people and in which environments we feel like we can truly just be ourselves we talked about this in detail in the love episode but boundaries are also really key when it comes to social intelligence self reflection practices like journaling and meditation and mindful awareness can help us tune in to our feelings and then ensure that we're not neglecting our own favor of others in regard to manipulation it's important to reflect reflect on our intentions and then shift our focus from using others as a means of getting our needs met to collaborating with others and acting with integrity and experiencing the positive benefits of pride that come with that and collective pride that comes with that there are two more things I would like to say about social intelligence the first is that we each need to learn what our personal balance of socializing and solitude needs to look like for us to find our own particular balance I'll say that again we need to learn what our particular personal balance of socializing and then engaging in solitude needs to look like for us to have a healthy balance we can feel completely alone in a group of people I think we've all known that feeling where you're just like surrounded by other human beings and yet you're lonely and then at the same time we can feel entirely connected even though we're completely by ourselves me I'm an introvert I know that I need a lot of alone time in order to show up fully for my friends family the people I work with I have also learned that it's better for me and I think this might help some people listening it's better for me to leave a social gathering early but on a positive note than to wait until I'm exhausted and leave on a less than positive note if you know you know maybe you feel me on that part of being in a healthy relationship is learning not only our own balance but that of those in our lives and what the implication of that might be for the relationship so you know maybe it's good to know if you're introverted extroverted and be averted and to know that about the people that you are in relationship with and then go hmm no wonder no wonder the final thing the second and final thing I'll say about socializing is that it is a part of it to learn how to tolerate and even embrace discomfort I know I know it would be great if we could just be comfortable all the time but also like it doesn't growth kind of sort of involve a bit of growing pain I think maybe we have to allow ourselves to experience awkwardness and conflict and moments of tremendous vulnerability without feeling the need to smooth things over immediately observing it noticing what's coming up for us and saying hmm I didn't like that how can I integrate that and be motivated by that to do the work on myself rather than sort of avoiding it and then not doing that work on our spirit and our soul I think that learning to tolerate discomfort can help us develop more resilience and reduce the need to control social situations what I mentioned earlier I I'll just say with controlling I I used to be because I ran so anxious a couple years ago I was a planner you know I just wanted to plan things and in relationship I learned like oh this is an illusion like if you like write out your future fine but if you're gonna do it write it in pencil you know don't be too attached to the outcome or you're thinking that you can do something to have such great impact like again that's the integration of these different character strengths they all work together and it's that element of humility and understanding that like I don't know I don't know what the future holds I don't know what exactly is coming up for every single person that I'm engaging with in this moment and I am NOT the center of the universe and thank God because wow that's like a lot of pressure and I in my most silent and still moments know that I'm not ready for that so I'm not God and therefore I am NOT completely in control and how can I find small ways to add a certain level of spontaneity into my life and just see what following my intuition does to reward me a really funny example of this I was on a walk and came from one direction and had like four different options of where I could go and I just for whatever reason was like I'm actually just gonna turn back the way that I came and take this other way and I ran it into a friend and I was like oh my goodness it's just like those winks from the universe you'll miss them if you think that you have control over what's going on and I don't want us to miss those those are so sweet and special anyway so back to the pros of discomfort I think it teaches us to hold space for the reality of what it means to be human and furthermore I think it allows us to appreciate the moments of joy and ease and pleasure all the more when in doubt again and again and again bring it back to the breath bring it back to those inhales and exhales through the nose and out the nose the vehicle that allows us to regulate our nervous system and can help us to find peace in any moment even and especially the uncomfortable ones okay my loves I don't know what's going on I was just thinking about like the episode to bravery and the courage virtue I put like a tag to like okay affirmation start at like seven minutes and I'm looking and I'm like 40 minutes in to this recording and I'm like like what changed I don't know I don't know if it's that I feel like I need to explain more about the character strengths and just or that I'm just like vibing please forgive me if this is just not what you were looking for I promise I will continue to time stamp or like inform you when the affirmation start so if you weren't here for a lecture or a journal entry you can just jump straight into the practice if you have been here with me through all of it thank you truly love you um I really appreciate it and without further ado I say we go ahead and transition into the next part of this whole thing to set the intention for our affirmations we'll take a moment for a blessing may we be open to the emotions and needs and thoughts and experiences of others with a heart that listens deeply and a mind that seeks to understand may we cultivate authentic connections where our words and actions reflect our true self may we find balance in our social interactions knowing when to speak when to listen and when to remain silent may we seek to respond and not simply react to others and may our understanding of others be a source of compassion inspiring harmony in the relationships that we nurture may we walk through each social encounter with grace curiosity and a sense of shared humanity always mindful of the deeper connection that binds all of us and may our social intelligence be a force for good fostering peace love and unity wherever we go I will read each statement twice pausing in between to give you a chance to repeat them out loud to yourself and I do recommend saying them out loud the statements that are easy to embrace savor them appreciate them stand like a mountain in their truth and then the statements that feel not so good that feel uncomfortable or foreign go ahead and say them anyway this is where we are doing the work rewiring those neural networks this is also where we gain insight into unhealed wounds limiting beliefs and ingrained biases and judgments toward ourselves or toward a particular way of being it's great material for journaling or discussing with a counselor or trusted friend maybe even someone doing the series with you whether you're just waking up walking your dog on your commute or getting ready for bed I hope these affirmations serve your deepest greatest highest self and with that let's get started I am socially intelligent I am socially intelligent I approach social situations with openness and curiosity I approach social situations with openness and curiosity I listen deeply to others I listen deeply to others I communicate clearly and authentically I communicate clearly and authentically I embrace differences and seek to understand them I embrace differences and seek to understand them I can listen without agreeing I can listen without agreeing I can respect without having to understand I can respect without having to understand I am self-aware I am self-aware I navigate social interaction with ease and confidence I navigate social interactions with ease and confidence I know how to read a room I know how to read a room I adapt gracefully to different social settings I adapt gracefully to different social settings I see the humanity in everyone I see the humanity in everyone I radiate a sense of comfort I radiate a sense of comfort I handle conflict calmly I handle conflict calmly I value the perspective of others I value the perspective of others I use my social skills to uplift those around me I use my social skills to uplift those around me As always,

Thank you so much for being here and sharing the intention to be honest with ourselves about who we are and then to do the work that we got to do on ourselves so that we can be better for ourselves and so that we can be better for the people that we love and the people that we come into contact with and for humanity as a whole and for the world at large may you go forth with peace and many many many blessings and I will see you next time bye everybody love you all

Reviews

Some of my perspectives were challenged and even shifted as if they were in an earthquake. Thought provoking talk.