Character Development: Leadership And Affirmations
In this episode, we explore the strength of Leadership, an expression of the virtue of Justice. Leadership is the art of guiding with courage and care — holding vision without losing humility, and inspiring others through presence more than position. True leadership begins within: in how we lead our thoughts, our energy, and our choices each day. Through reflection and affirmation, may we learn to lead with integrity, listen with openness, and serve from the heart. Peace and blessings, Hannah
Transcript
In a world that often focuses so much on what we lack,
It's easy to overlook the incredible internal strengths that each of us possess.
Grounded in ancient philosophy and modern science,
This series invites you to reconnect with the innate strengths that make you who you are,
Promoting balance and harmony in everyday life.
Whether you're looking to boost your confidence,
Overcome negative self-talk,
Deepen your relationships,
Or simply invite a greater sense of well-being,
My hope is that this series offers a practical and uplifting path to personal growth.
Okay,
Hello and welcome to our Character Strengths Affirmation Series.
In each session,
We explore one of the 24 character strengths identified by positive psychology,
All of which fall under the virtues of courage,
Humanity,
Wisdom,
Justice,
Temperance,
And transcendence.
These traits are universal,
And they help us show up as our best and highest selves.
Today,
We are continuing our journey through the virtue of justice,
Which the Values in Action Institute defines as the strengths that help us build healthy relationships and contribute to the common good.
The virtue of justice includes three strengths,
Fairness and teamwork,
Which we've done already,
And today's strength,
Which is leadership.
I think that what's been really interesting for me doing this series has been recognizing some of the assumptions that I have about what these strengths look like and having to have like a more,
In order to like write about these things,
Having to like take on like a more objective and honest understanding of it.
I think leadership is one that we tend to have a sort of emotional reaction to.
Maybe that's projection.
But I mean,
There's like there's like those of us who like struggle with authority.
There's those of us who are leaders and have,
You know,
Feelings about that.
There are those of us who aren't leaders and have feelings about that.
Like there's,
You know,
There's just a lot of stuff wrapped up in it.
So I'm going to do my best to just break it down as neutrally as possible.
And as always,
Share some of my own experiences.
Okay,
So leadership is the ability to organize and inspire a group to move toward shared goals while maintaining connection,
Care,
And respect within the group.
Like teamwork,
Leadership grows out of a deep commitment to the collective good.
But where teamwork blends and collaborates,
Leadership helps define,
Clarify,
And guide.
Leaders set direction,
Build bridges,
Smooth tension,
And help people move forward together.
The VIA Institute describes two different,
Very powerful aspects of leadership.
The first one is leadership as a practice,
Which is establishing direction and providing structure,
Clarifying where the group is headed,
Why it matters,
And how do we get there?
It's about vision and organization and creating a sense of stability so that the group can thrive.
Then there's leadership as a personal quality.
This is the willingness to step into responsibility with integrity.
It isn't about power,
It's about service.
It's the capacity to guide and encourage and uplift others,
No matter what your role is.
There are two broad styles of leadership.
There's transactional leadership,
Which focuses on structure.
Things like clarifying expectations,
Defining roles,
And maintaining consistency.
It keeps the group grounded,
Honestly,
And accountable.
Then there's transformational leadership,
Which inspires through vision and trust and emotional connection.
It calls people to rise above self-interest for the good of the collective.
Many of us have both approaches within us,
And we learn to shift fluidly between structure and inspiration,
Depending upon what the moment asks for.
There are leadership positions that we have that are clearly identified.
I was thinking about some of mine in the past,
And about what kind of leader I was.
I remember in high school,
I was captain of the color guard,
Which some of you are going to be like,
And that makes sense.
Some of you are going to be like,
Wow,
That is really random.
But I wasn't color guard captain because I was the best at color guard.
There were people who could spin circles around me,
Who could throw rifles and sabers and catch them in a way that I would never dream of and was terrified to do.
I believe that I had the role because it was my job on the days when it was 40 degrees outside and we were wearing tights and little dresses to give a pep talk about how we were going to go out there and give it our all to inspire the group because it's like 40 mile an hour winds and we're trying to throw these six foot poles with flags on the end of them into the air and catch them.
We're like,
No,
This is not where my body should be right now.
It was my job to be like,
Mental override,
We can do this.
We are in this together.
Think about the thing that you most want to do in your life and do this in service of that.
When I think about other roles that I've had as a leader,
What I've realized is that a lot of leadership is not confined to titles or positions.
It lives in this quiet,
Ordinary experience where courage meets care.
It's the coworker who steps up to coordinate a project when no one else volunteers,
Or the friend who gently organizes support for someone who's grieving.
It's the neighbor who rallies people to restore a shared space and the community member who is helping others see a more hopeful future and believe that we can build it together.
Leadership is present whenever someone says,
Let's find a way to move through this together.
When we practice leadership,
We bring clarity,
Hope,
And direction into our communities.
We nurture belonging and a sense of shared purpose.
We remind people that forward motion is possible,
Even in uncertainty.
And we do that not necessarily just through direction and through,
You know,
Verbal language and through having insight.
I think a lot of us have a lot of really meaningful opinions.
But I think a lot of leadership is through how we ourselves choose to behave.
How are you modeling the kind of person that you want the world to be full of?
How can you practice leadership in your own small ways in the tiny instances throughout the day?
Food for thought.
Okay,
So if you've been with us for a while,
You know that every strength exists on a spectrum and that virtue exists between two vices.
So you can have too much of a good thing.
You know,
I've talked about this many times,
But when I first got into researching virtue,
I was like,
How do I cultivate all of these strengths to their greatest capacity?
And then I sort of had an existential crisis where I realized the extent to which I was actually overusing strengths in a way that was compensating for probably other strengths where I was weaker or afraid.
And then I was like,
Nobody's talking about this.
And then I was like,
Just kidding.
Aristotle talked about it.
He got there first.
So yeah,
I go with Aristotle's golden mean.
Virtue exists between two vices.
So when leadership is underused,
We may hold back from stepping into roles where our voice or our vision is needed.
Sometimes that hesitation is rooted in fear of judgment or self-doubt or discomfort with being perceived.
I'm laughing because as an introvert,
I really do understand that.
It can look like staying silent in meetings where you sense a group needs direction or reassurance or avoiding difficult conversations because you fear conflict or rejection.
We've all been there.
You know what I mean?
It might sound like believing leadership belongs to other people,
The ones who seem more confident or experienced or outgoing,
Which I just want to take a moment.
Most people are just faking it till they make it.
Just to put that out there.
Underused leadership can also look like dismissing your own potential impact.
Forgetting that leadership often begins with small acts of courage and care.
That one I think is also really interesting because so often we ask ourselves,
Well,
Will it matter?
Will it matter for me to go out?
Will I even have an impact?
What's the point?
I think for me the logic is,
One,
You create a big snowball by starting with just a little bit of snow.
Sometimes you just got to get the ball rolling.
We just got to get experience.
We just got to get the work in and just have faith in the process.
But also,
Just in general in life,
Isn't it worth doing something that we care about and we believe in and that we feel like is going to be of benefit to the world just for the benefit that doing so will have for our own relationship to ourselves?
Isn't it just a better way to live?
I don't know.
I think that I'm asking myself that question,
Of course,
Too.
It's because it's better.
Anyway,
At its core,
Underusing leadership is often about shrinking from responsibility,
Not because we don't care,
But because we underestimate how much we matter.
When we step forward with humility and with heart,
We give others permission to do the same.
I think you guys know humility has a special place in my heart.
I talk about this one all the time and its relationship to other strengths.
It's in part because a very important mentor to me,
Dr.
Donnie Davis out of Georgia State,
He studies humility,
And he embodies it.
I'll get into that more,
I guess,
In the humility episode.
I think that it's not even that you have to work yourself up into delusional pride in order to be a leader.
It's actually the opposite.
It's that we do so from a place of.
.
.
When I was studying anthropology in college,
We learned about this tribe,
Forgive me.
I don't remember which one it is.
I just don't remember.
I wish I could say it.
I wish I could cite it.
I wish I remembered where I read it and I could cite it.
We learned about indigenous communities and hunter-gatherer societies where the leaders were the people who were.
.
.
If a leader promoted themselves,
People were like,
Get away from us.
You had to be suggested and voted for by the community.
You had to not really want to be one in order for them to trust you.
I think that that says a lot about the wisdom of people who are living in tune with the earth.
Okay.
I've gotten off topic.
We'll jump back in.
Okay.
When leadership is overused or rigid,
It can tip into control,
Ego,
Or exhaustion.
Sometimes this looks like taking over every task because we don't trust others to do it right or struggling to delegate,
Believing that letting go equals losing quality or authority.
We might become inflexible,
Convinced our way is the only way,
Or tie our self-worth to how much we accomplish or how many people follow us.
And what's interesting is that people of a certain generation are going to be like,
Ah,
Yes,
Metaphorically follow us as we live our lives.
And other people are like,
Oh,
She means social media.
Like that's just probably an assumption that some people made like following an Instagram.
Like this imbalance,
I think it goes to show this imbalance shows up so often in today's culture,
Especially in spaces that celebrate visibility and influence.
In truth,
Leadership that centers the self rather than the collective eventually collapses under its own weight.
The sweet spot lies in balance,
Leading with courage and clarity while staying open and collaborative and humble.
True leaders don't dominate.
They elevate.
They don't seek the spotlight.
They share it.
So those are some of my thoughts on leadership and its overuse and underuse as informed by the framework by the Values in Action Institute.
I found a poem written by Mary Lou Anderson in April of 1970,
And I think it does a lovely job of speaking to what true leadership is.
It's called Leadership.
Leaders are called to stand in that lonely place between the no longer and the not yet and intentionally make decisions that will bind,
Forge,
Move,
And create history.
We are not called to be popular.
We are not called to be safe.
We are not called to follow.
We are the ones called to take risks.
We are the ones called to change attitudes,
To risk displeasures.
We are the ones called to gamble our lives for a better world.
I think it's important that we consider the historical and cultural context of the fact that this poem was written in 1970,
I believe,
In the United States.
And it does,
For me,
Bring up a greater conversation that I would love to have at some point.
My dream is that this platform will in some way somehow go to more of an interview style,
And this would be a meaningful conversation to have in that format.
But the ways in which individuals and groups are put in leadership positions to represent a group that they didn't audition for,
You know,
That they didn't ask to have.
And I think it also speaks to the ways in which to be a leader is a heavy responsibility and at times can come with risks.
You know,
We have to consider our safety.
There are some things that.
.
.
Being a leader,
I think,
Requires constantly considering the balance between truth and tact,
Not only for yourself,
But for the impact that it has on other people.
I'll also say that in my experience,
The greatest leaders I've worked with didn't simply give me the sense that they were powerful and can have great impact.
They reflected onto me a sense that within me is a power that I can tap into to have my own impact.
There's an understanding that we're constantly wanting to create more leaders and understand that another truth about leadership is that it starts within.
Good leaders know how to communicate clearly,
But also know how to listen deeply.
They reflect on their motives,
On their biases and blind spots.
They stay grounded in values rather than ego.
Leadership takes honesty about what we know and about what we don't.
It takes the willingness to receive feedback without defensiveness.
It takes the humility to admit mistakes and learn personally,
Privately and publicly.
And it takes courage to hold boundaries and make difficult calls even when it's uncomfortable.
Leadership also means building connection rather than simply commanding.
It's about creating an atmosphere where people feel safe to contribute ideas,
Challenge assumptions and share responsibility.
And listen,
Sometimes leadership means stepping aside and making space for someone else to shine.
True leaders know they are part of a team,
Not above it.
And this brings me to something we might not always consider,
Which is the art of leading ourselves.
We cannot lead others effectively if we are disconnected from ourselves.
Leading ourselves means checking in with our values and whether we're living in alignment with them.
Managing our energy and stress and emotional well-being.
Having compassion for ourselves when we fall short and choosing to keep learning and knowing when to push forward and when to pause and rest.
When we lead ourselves well,
We show up as steady,
Grounded leaders for others.
Before we move into the affirmations,
Let's pause for a brief blessing.
May we be blessed with clarity of vision and softness of heart.
May we speak with courage,
Listen with humility,
And act with integrity.
May we remember that leadership is not about power,
But about service and connection.
May our presence inspire hope,
Trust,
And possibility.
And may we always remember to lead ourselves gently with wisdom and compassion.
I will read each statement twice,
Pausing in between to give you a chance to repeat them out loud to yourself,
And I do recommend saying them out loud.
The statements that are easy to embrace,
Savor them,
Appreciate them,
Stand like a mountain in their truth.
The statements that feel not so good,
That feel uncomfortable or foreign or like straight-up lies,
Go ahead and say them anyway.
This is where we are doing the work,
Rewiring those neural networks.
This is also where we gain insight into unhealed wounds,
Limiting beliefs,
And ingrained biases or judgments toward ourselves or toward a particular way of being.
It's great material for journaling or discussing with a counselor or trusted friend,
Maybe even someone doing the series with you.
Whether you're just waking up,
Walking your dog,
On your commute,
Or getting ready for bed,
I hope these affirmations serve your deepest,
Greatest,
Highest self.
Let's begin.
I am a strong leader.
I am a strong leader.
I have the courage and wisdom to stand up.
I have the courage and wisdom to stand up.
I bring clarity and vision to my teams.
I bring clarity and vision to my teams.
I inspire others through my presence and words.
I inspire others through my presence and words.
I listen deeply and value different perspectives.
I listen deeply and value different perspectives.
I communicate with honesty,
Respect,
And compassion.
I communicate with honesty,
Respect,
And compassion.
I lead by example.
I lead by example.
I balance confidence with openness to feedback.
I balance confidence with openness to feedback.
I know when to guide and when to follow.
I know when to guide and when to follow.
I know when to guide I delegate and trust others' abilities.
I delegate and trust others' abilities.
I remain calm and steady during challenges.
I uplift and encourage those around me.
I uplift and encourage those around me.
I admit my mistakes and learn from them.
I admit my mistakes and learn from them.
I lead with purpose and release ego.
I lead with purpose and release ego.
I lead myself with compassion and accountability.
I lead myself with compassion and accountability.
My leadership contributes to justice and the common good.
My leadership contributes to justice and the common good.
I am capable of making a positive impact in the world.
I am capable of making a positive impact in the world.
Okay,
Thank you so much as always for being here and for honoring your strengths and for showing up to this process with openness and with intention.
May we share in the intention to continue to work on ourselves so that we can be better for ourselves and for humanity and for the world at large.
May we be well so that we can do good.
Go forth with peace and many many blessings and I will see you next time.
