Accepting The Here And Now

Often, we linger in the past (at least mentally)—replaying past decisions, past circumstances and even past failures (or at least incidents that we classify as failures). But spending too much time looking into the rearview mirror can inhibit not only our present state, but also our state of mind.

Transcript

My name is Greg McBride and I wanted to talk to you today about why simple advice is often the best advice.

Basically,

Going on the idea that clear thinking often starts with accepting what is and moving on with grace.

And I am really honored that you are joining me today.

I have to admit that one of the best therapies I've ever encountered is one that has never cost me a single cent.

And the good news is this free therapy is available to anyone that's listening to this right now.

We only need to visit our nearest mall or maybe remember visiting our nearest mall and finding that mall map.

You know,

The big one that is usually in the center and some kind of advertisement.

And we locate the portion of the display that says,

You are here.

And that really is something to think about.

That big red dot.

You are here.

And guess what?

That is exactly where we are.

Here.

Too many times we often find ourselves lingering in the past,

At least mentally,

Replaying past decisions,

Past circumstances,

And even past failures.

Or at least incidents that we now classify as failures.

But spending too much time looking into the review mirror can inhibit not only our present state,

But also our state of mind.

It all comes down to clear thinking.

And that often starts with accepting what was,

Along with accepting that there's no going backwards and changing it.

So to debate or belabor what happened before now is really a mute exercise.

I know this all sounds sort of simple,

But for many of us,

Myself included,

We spend too much time wondering why things happened the way they did.

And why we responded or reacted certain ways,

Often wanting to change everything that's already transpired and therefore can't be altered.

Even though there's no time machine that we know of,

We often live life as if we've lost keys to one.

As if we might be able to have the capability to undo something or somehow make it right.

But no matter how many times we replay past events or decisions in our heads,

They are never going to be undone.

So the sooner we swallow hard and move on,

The better.

And yes,

This theory can apply when we're the so-called victims of a circumstance as well.

Recently,

My spouse was laid off for no apparent reason,

Other than the new go-to word for being laid off,

Right-sizing.

Despite being one of the company's top performers.

And boy,

Did I wrestle with that situation in my head,

Wanting to know why it happened,

Or if there was some way we could have played things differently so that it wouldn't have happened.

But guess what?

None of this mental clutter changed anything.

It was time to look for a new job.

And any kind of woe is me,

Or woe is us,

Or refusal to let go,

Aka not accept,

Simply hurt our family and hurt us.

We are here,

Like it or not.

And speaking of the like it part,

You don't necessarily have to like it,

But still,

You are here.

You're not anywhere but here.

So no matter what you're facing,

Whether a medical issue,

Breakup,

Job-related,

Or financial issue,

Or the thousandth time you thought you might be committing to losing some excess weight or getting healthier,

The sooner you accept that you are here,

The sooner you can take the next step into what can be the next great chapter of your life.

Again,

I know all this sounds very simple.

Some might suggest it's even trite.

But I promise that carrying around this mental reminder that the past is the past and the future is in the future,

And that staying present offers us the clearest mindset and therefore the clearest decision-making capabilities,

Can be very helpful.

No matter what's transpired,

No matter what you're facing,

No matter how unfair,

No matter if it was self-sabotage,

Repeat after me.

We are here.

And with a mental state of acceptance,

Here can be full of as many opportunities and possibilities as we allow it to be.

If you want to close your eyes with me for a second,

Let's take three deep breaths.

Thinking in as we breathe in,

Out as we breathe out.

Let's begin.

Breathing in,

Holding at the top,

Breathing out.

Again,

Breathing in,

Thinking in,

Holding at the top just for a second,

Breathing out.

And a third time,

Breathing in,

Thinking in,

Holding at the top just for a second,

That little space that's all yours,

And breathing out.

Now with our eyes closed,

Or maybe with a soft gaze looking downward,

We're just going to think for a minute about accepting where we are in life right now.

We can't change anything that's happened before this moment.

Sure,

There might be some things that we would do differently,

But we made the best decisions we could,

And that has brought us to here,

This moment.

And while we have goals for the future,

We can't predict it.

We may have fears about the future.

We don't know what challenges might arise,

Or we might be imagining challenges.

But they aren't here right now.

We are here.

You are here.

And you've done a heck of a job getting here.

You've landed on your feet.

In this moment,

All the possibilities are endless.

So just imagine staying present as you move through your day.

Even as you move through your goals,

Your tasks,

Whatever it is that might lie ahead of you,

Stay present.

Do the breathing exercise if you need to.

In and out three times while thinking in as you breathe in,

Thinking out as you breathe out,

Just as a way to sync up your mind and body.

And remind yourself that you are here.

Let's take one final breath in.

Breathe in,

Hold it at the top,

And then sigh it all out.

Let the past go.

And let us commit to being here in this moment as we move toward all of the possibilities.

And that's it for today.

Reviews

So simple yet so helpful. Perfect. Thank you! Namaste. 🙏🪷

I am a 'baby boomer' mother with her share of what we would now call 'childhood trauma' who made it her mission to raise a healthy male child. All grand intentions aside this millennial will not let go of the 'trauma' some of my decisions caused him. He may accept he is 'here' one moment only to descend into rage at me when he recalls certain decisions I made that he now perceives as unacceptable.
Your great analogy resonated amusingly with me! Simple advice with a powerful outcome which takes maturity and practice reminding oneself probably daily until it becomes like breathing. Thank you.

I found this short talk hugely insightful, relatable, and just plain helpful. Delivered in a clear, appealing voice with short supportive breathwork included. Highly recommended. 🙏🏻💞

Perfect as I was ruminating over a decision from yesterday. Trying to let go, but it’s a process. Thank you!

I relistened to this message as I embark on another life change and found its positivity so inspiring. Thank you!

I enjoyed the talk and the meditation. Simple yet effective

I appreciated the straightforward simplicity. While I’m not sure it’s always the case that we did the best we could, I think we can still learn, and use those lessons to make this moment clearer. Thank you, Gregg!

I keep trying to get over that hurdle but my failing physical being prevents me. Nameste 🙏🏻

Exactly what I needed to hear & so helpful. Thank you.

Thanks, it helps me to think about this message several times a day.

What a wonderful reminder of the value of being in the present. Yep... we are here!

You're such a wonderful soul, Gregg. (I miss your Friday live meditations, BTW!) You're a gifted and talented meditation teacher and a truly beautiful being. Thanks for sharing your insights and gifts. Love to you and your fur-kids! ♡

Thank you for this is so powerfull♡♡

Short and effective! Thank you and many Blessings. 🌻🐢🦋

Love the Mall map you are here 🔴 what a great visual to stay in the present moment ❣🙏

EXCELLENT❣️ Very THOUGHT-PROVOKING, ENCOURAGING and INSPIRATIONAL! 🙏🏻💕

Truth that needs to be remembered. Starting now. Again. Thank you.

good insights, great anslogy, but the Meditation Party was too short