A nugget of self-love.
Sometimes when the self-trashing sets in,
Even the mention of self-love can frustrate.
That state of being seems miles away.
Why even contemplate it?
Why not just numb out for a few hours,
Maybe a few days?
And that mean voice in your head?
It just makes it all black and white,
Doesn't it?
Either you have self-love or you don't,
You better wage a big campaign of worthiness and love,
Otherwise you'll die.
So you better hurry up.
Well,
Maybe it's time to ease up and take a small journey.
Maybe you'll discover some doable steps that you can take towards self-love,
Self-regard,
Self-worth.
Maybe you'll experience just a nugget of self-love.
So let's go see.
To begin,
Close your eyes,
Settle in to where you are.
Notice your breath for a moment.
You don't need to change it.
Be with your inhale and then your exhale.
Let that voice of self-trashing just hang out.
Maybe give it a brownie in your mind.
You're okay here.
It is what it is.
It's okay to rage against whatever or have a desire to run and hide.
Everything is welcome here.
It's quiet in the museum this evening.
The walls of this gallery rise up around you,
Human forms glowing from the dimly lit panels painted a century ago.
You notice the shapes of the frames in this hallway gallery,
Some golden ornate,
Some simple and gray.
As you walk past the paintings in peace,
You spy something glowing in the distance.
Dark unmoving figures of stone,
You wander towards this next gallery and you soon make out the steady gazes of an Egyptian goddess and two princes,
One on either side of her,
All in one sculpture.
This dark stone creation looms over you.
The three shiny smooth figures simply watch,
Possibly watching eternity,
And you wonder how many hands might have helped sculpt this majestic piece.
The stone itself glows and you long to reach out and smooth your hand against it,
But you don't.
Behind this statue,
The gallery opens up into an enormous space and there stands a large temple somehow transported from a desert in Egypt to this museum.
You ponder the long ocean journey it must have made amidst gigantic swells as well as calm seas.
It somehow got here.
You read the square metal plaque near it to learn that this particular temple was saved before a great dam was built in Egypt.
Each pillar is as thick as an old oak tree and craggy from thousands of years of wear and tear.
As you stare up at the temple,
You sense an eternal steadiness that it must have offered people long ago.
In the golden lighting,
You see symbols and figures engraved into some of the temple stones.
You wonder what they signify.
You stand quietly in this majestic place and take it all in for a few moments.
And then something flickers orange just behind the temple.
A doorway.
You pass the grand structure and wander over to this opening to discover a low hallway built entirely of stone as if it were inside the temple itself.
It has gas lamps mounted on the walls.
What is this place?
You enter it and follow the stone passageway,
Turning to the left and then eventually to the right.
The flickering gold light making it seem like you're on the original archeological dig.
Finally,
There is a set of stone stairs that leads up to a doorway.
You follow them up and discover a small chamber also with carved stones and gas lamps.
Only here,
It's a little bit wider and a little bit taller.
In the center,
There is a small ceramic vase,
Worn and dark,
Perched on a display case.
Strange to have just one display in this chamber.
You notice that any voice of self-criticism is going mute in this ancient,
Serene stone chamber.
You walk over to the vase and look inside.
Little golden nuggets the size of robin's eggs shine up at you.
There are a couple dozen of them and you wonder why these precious things are not encased safely and locked up.
But beyond that,
Just looking at them brings you peace.
You experience a sense of calm and even a little wonder.
How could a golden nugget do that?
You reach out and take one in your hand.
No museum alarms go off.
The nugget feels smooth and somewhat heavy.
Heavier than you expected.
Beyond the physical experience,
You sense a power you can't understand.
A peacefulness in yourself.
A sense of worth that gently finds you as you hold this gold in your hand.
What is it like to have this moment of calm knowing and quiet worth and even self-love in your hand?
Maybe it grounds something in you.
You hold it to your forehead and feel its peace.
You hold it to your heart and feel its kindness.
Then you hold it to your belly and feel its steadiness.
In the back of this small golden chamber awaits a lush garden of bright green through a doorway.
It's a small garden in giant ceramic pots in the middle of the museum.
You take your own nugget of gold and an extra one on a whim.
You wander into this potted jungle of happy green filled with overflowing Boston ferns,
Jolly philodendrons,
And lush dragon trees with a zen water fountain burbling amongst them all.
There's a bench in the middle and you find a spot and sit down on it,
Letting your eyes feast on the brightness of the green around you and all the shapes of the leaves.
The air is soft and warm and you realize that the extra nugget of gold,
The one you took on a whim,
Could be a gift.
It could be an offering that makes a difference to someone.
You ponder who might be ready for this offering.
A friend?
A sibling?
Another family member?
Maybe a colleague?
Take a moment to decide who's right for this gift.
Who would truly appreciate it?
And then here they are wandering through the plants to join you on your bench.
It's good that they meet you here.
It's good to be together.
For a moment,
The two of you sit on the bench and you sense how they are.
You check in.
Be curious.
At some point,
You turn and offer them the nugget of gold.
It's a gift,
A precious offering,
A quiet thing that can change their day,
Even for just a moment.
Take a little time to notice how they receive this gift.
What changes in them?
What changes in you?
A powerful gift can alter something in us,
So take a moment to appreciate that.
You might find yourself shifting in some way towards this person,
Even though they're not here in the flesh.
What is it like to offer such a thing?
What is it like to receive it in yourself?
When this all feels complete,
You are welcome to stay here on this bench and offer a nugget of grace and self-love to someone else,
If you feel called.
You can offer it to anyone and to as many people as you'd like.
Are you called to do this now?
See what comes alive in you when you can be generous in this way,
Giving someone the very thing you most desire.
Powerful stuff,
My friend.
Eventually,
Whichever person is now next to you moves on,
And you are left to sit quietly,
Listening to the water sounds from the fountain.
You take a moment and appreciate anything that has changed in you,
No matter how small.
You took a journey.
You received some grace.
You offered it to another.
Let all that land so that you can take it with you into the rest of your day.
Come back anytime.
May you be at peace.
May you be at peace.
May you be at peace.
May you be at peace.
