Hello,
I hope this message finds you well.
I'm Dr.
Neffi and today I want to talk to you about grief.
Grief is something that we will all experience.
Grief is not linear.
It could be death related.
It could be hopes,
Dreams,
Relationships,
Career aspirations,
And more.
But my grief in the most recent years has been from the departure of my mother.
My father passed away over 20 years ago and I was only 17 and I grieved heavily.
But the grief I felt from my mother was something that I could never even imagine nor would wish on to anyone.
And I'm not going to get too much into depth about grief and what it is today,
But I just wanted to tell everyone that your grief is not anybody else's.
It's yours.
And the truth of the matter is no one can experience it for you,
Nor should we even expect someone to experience it for us.
When we tell other people about our grief,
We can't expect for them to respond the way that we would want them to.
And sometimes you'll be surprised.
People won't respond at all.
The people that you thought would be there for you or the people that you were even there for will more than likely disappoint you.
So if you're grieving something now,
If you can get help outside your circle because your circle may not be fulfilling your needs,
Do it.
Don't wait.
I did wait to start getting therapy.
I did wait to read books because I didn't know where to go.
There was too much swirling around in my head and in my emotions at that time.
And so I definitely would encourage anyone that's grieving,
Even if you receive bad news about an illness or someone close to you is ill and you're having this pre-anticipatory anxiety,
Right now start writing things down in your journal.
If you are a religious person and you can get help from your clergy or direction on scriptures,
Ultimately your rest is foundational when you're grieving.
I didn't know that.
If you're tired in the middle of the day and you're able to take a nap,
Anytime you can just get your body to reset and recharge and your brain to just rewire itself through neuroplasticity and just overall rest,
Do it and don't feel bad about it.
You need it.
It's something that's a necessity,
But just know that grief is normal.
It's necessary.
It's part of our human experience.
And yes,
It sucks,
But this too shall pass.
I actually have a small recording on this too shall pass.
If you haven't checked it out,
Please check it out.
Because at the end of the day,
Whether you're secular,
Religious,
Spiritual,
Or just here,
Everything is impermanent.
And once you start to brace impermanence,
Then life gets a little bit easier because you know the highs will be the highs,
The lows will be the lows,
But it's never going to stay that way.
So again,
If you're grieving,
I wish you the best.
You have to do the work.
The only way out is through.
This will get easier.
You'll never get over it,
But you'll learn how to live with whatever it is.
Seek help,
Do the work,
And try your best to get to a place where life is a little bit better each and every day.
We will always get back to our balanced self,
But it takes time to get there.
So in all things,
Give yourself grace with your grief and know that this too shall pass.
I'm out.
