What Is Now? Podcast: How Are You Feeling?

Namaste and a very warm welcome to the listeners of this podcast.

Welcome to the What Is Now podcast.

My name is Saqib and I have my friend Charles with me.

Hi Charles.

Hello Saqib.

So the idea of this podcast is that we just be in the present moment and whatever comes up we discuss that and let's see what comes up today and we begin with silence.

So Charles will be guiding in that silence.

Charles you can go ahead with that.

Sounds good.

Each time we've started with just a minute of sitting in silence together and you'll hear a bell to start and finish that time with no other instruction than to just maybe stop whatever it is that you're doing.

You don't need to stop but if you're willing to come to a stop come to a pause notice all of the momentum that is built up from the beginning of the day until now and then use this minute maybe as a reset and really open back up to just what's happening right now in your present moment experience.

And then after that minute we will see whatever comes up and go from there.

Are you ready?

Yes.

Go ahead and start the minute and end it with the sound of a bell.

So what was the one minute for you?

I noticed that that one went pretty fast for me and that I didn't really dip into deep sort of stillness which sometimes occurs for whatever reason I felt very much kind of like on the surface however you would describe that just kind of I stayed sort of where I was from before in a way.

What about for you?

For me it's it was I think one question came up and as you said it was also today it was a slight difficult slightly difficult for me to get into that present moment and there were thoughts in my mind and I don't know if this question popped up from the thoughts or was it an insight or was it like something my awareness wanted to ask and the question was what am I feeling and the question indicated I think that what is the emotion that I am feeling right now so is it happiness is it bliss is it sadness and then there was a slight confusion in my mind and I was thinking that how do I find out the emotion you know I can maybe tell that okay what is it how my body is feeling right now maybe how am I sitting right now but the question that how am I feeling right now it might be a broad question because I think a lot of think factors can come into that kind of what is the energy that I'm feeling right now where in my body am I feeling that is it is it in my heart is it somewhere else so the question that how do I tell that how am I feeling right now got me into a state of confusion actually and yeah I was not figured able to figure out the answer yet.

Yeah did you have that's such an interesting question the answer to or the question of how am I feeling right now I think we can develop such like automatic language of emotion like this means sad or this means happy or this means bored but what are those really upon deeper investigation and yeah like you're talking about is there just a sense of energy is there a physical location of that feeling yes there is it thinking based yeah I don't know that's it's really interesting I was and as you're talking I was wondering if you had any kind of notion and I also I maybe confusion is also a feeling yeah that that is also a feeling and like this question that where am I feeling that I think then I brought my awareness to my face and somehow maybe we have this notion that our face can tell that what we are feeling right now so I was like do I have a smile on the face or is it just I think that is part of our conditioning that we are the way we have this the way we present ourselves to the world so it is through us either through a smile or you know our expressions on the face so suddenly my awareness went to the face asking this question how am I feeling but then I realized maybe I need to check in the heart I wonder how much that like in an interpersonal way how much that is also dependent on like what we perceive other people perceiving on our face I'm just thinking of like our interaction right now in my continual gauging and assessments of your non-verbals and what that is telling me about myself and like what I might be communicating to you and then I'm constantly adjusting sort of to that probably with very little awareness of it until I tap into it right so what is it for you in terms of that emotion so if I ask you what are you feeling right now what what comes up for you and it's interesting you mentioned the head and how I said I was staying on kind of the surface level within that one minute and I felt very much in like physically in my head not really that I was thinking just kind of located up here it feels really kind of small and diminished relative to maybe how I know life can feel which is like vast in a pretty beautiful way I noticed and I've kind of felt this way throughout the day today and it's not a sad feeling it's sort of there's more than this feeling and kind of just stuck in here and it was reminding me of the meditation you did last time I think where we were talking about the location of the self and how we can often be localized like just feeling like we're up in the head or maybe right behind the eyes and then the possibility of moving that awareness of self down into the body I don't know but I think for me maybe we're resonating with each other because there was even a little bit of confused I don't know exactly what this feeling is feeling Is it is it like an energy like the thing that you said about your face and you feeling something in your face up in your head is it like can it also be a physical sensation do you feel it physically or is it just in a form of a thought?

I would say that I do feel it physically and it feels kind of small and almost like there is a cut off point sort of at the neck where and where there's a tightness and I can even feel it as I speak yeah so I do feel it that way Yeah I'm just wondering what what and where am I feeling right now Yeah it's so true that our awareness is so focused towards our face and when I do I think chakra practice that is when I feel that balance wherein I'm able to feel that energy throughout the body but then in a normal waking state it's usually towards my face yeah and then because when I will ask this question that what am I feeling right now then I will go to my face rather than maybe also asking the other parts of the body because all the parts of the body are important you know I need to ask my hand I need to ask my legs my abdomen how are you feeling right now if I'm if I'm asking this question how am I feeling right now it's just my awareness is going to move towards my face so somehow we have there is a partiality here Yeah there was something like a little bit liberating about the way you just said that I had a vision of me asking my hand how am I feeling and not not really not asking my hand how are you feeling like physically the hand but asking my hand as like the seat of all of me and of my awareness how how am I feeling right now and it's almost like it's a separate entity but it's still me versus going inside my quote unquote head it feels a little bit more like a an echo chamber in here where and it's a little bit more dissatisfying and a little bit more sterile I think up here but this idea of me asking my hand how am I feeling right now there's almost like a a child play-ness to it and it's sort of there's like a sweetness to it how's that sounding to you I think it's like now you're talking about the hand so if I ask this question that how am I feeling then I think there is I feel a reunion right now with my hand you know as if this was some person whom I neglected and now that I'm bringing my awareness to it and I'm asking this question there is I can feel this connection maybe this love between my hand and me yeah it's interesting actually you want to try that for like 10 seconds I just was interested in doing that right now with myself and seeing what came up for me yeah are you interested in doing that just for a few seconds sure sure yes and so for anyone listening I'm just going to be in my mind asking my hand the question of how am I feeling if you're listening you might even do this as well or pause here and try this if you'd like to do it with a little bit of extended time or you could do it with any part of your body that might be interesting maybe especially one that you select or that stands out to you yeah but I could just say Sake that for me it feels similar to like what you were describing a union and I'm almost it's weird I feel sort of like cared for by my hand yeah in a way that's like a hug and is like relieving of some pressure I think that I might put on myself sometimes that might also exist up quote unquote up in the head and the thinking mind and the notion the idea of Charles as this kind of person that should be filling my days with this kind of thing and being productive and high performing and all of these things and then kind of feeling the hand coming in and saying like it's all okay and however you are today is is more than enough and yeah something really kind of comforting about that I also just feel a lot of sensation in my hand which brings me back to just the experience of the body yeah yeah yeah similar I when I asked my hand then there were a few answers and as if it was like my hand was talking to me and it was saying that I'm feeling loved but I'm also feeling heavy right now because that's soon as my awareness on my hand it started feeling heavy and yeah I think these were the two main answers that came through and I was wondering that what if we ask this question to the parts of our body that might require healing in the sense that you know maybe there is some physical ailment that we have there is a wound on our knee and if we just ask this question to our knee that how are you feeling and if we reunite with our knee the way we are doing right now will the question is will that heal my knee what do you think about that it's really interesting I don't know I mean it makes me think of what we might call the placebo effect which maybe really is something very powerfully physiologically going on when we actually believe in something and send like a belief and a message within ourselves that was making me think too of even beyond like a physical issue or ailment yes sensing somewhere where we might hold or maybe not hold but wherever we sense like an emotional pain or hurt or insecurity or fear because I can imagine maybe for myself and for you and anyone listening if you were to ask right now and sit for a moment you would sort of be able to identify somewhere in your body that is associated with emotional pain or fear or that brings you back to a childlike state and it might be interesting to ask that physical part of your body as well this question of how are you feeling or how asking that how am I feeling yeah right I think it can also be asked to the heart that how how are you feeling because a lot of I think a lot of emotions as maybe as human beings we feel a lot of emotions there in our heart so if we are asking the heart or if we are asking you know let's say I'm not able to speak and communicate to someone so if I ask this question to my throat that how are you feeling this also reminds me of something that Joe dispenser dr.

Joe dispenser said that where you place your awareness is where you place your energy if we are placing awareness on that part of the body we are actually providing energy to that part and maybe it's like you know filling with life and maybe it has that potential to heal with that in with without a miss it's very interesting actually where would you not be you need to share about it but is there somewhere that you in particular would send that awareness like for yourself I think I would send it to my throat because I've been like having this issue of cough regular cough and I have just ignored it and not maybe you know ask the question that how are you feeling and it reminds me it brings me this idea to this to this idea of a child who is maybe neglected by the parents you know when you don't pay attention to a child and you don't take care of the emotional needs then the child would grow up in a certain way which might not be very healthy but when we are providing that care that attention as a parent to the child that child is flourishing and in a similar manner I'm thinking about the different parts of my body right now you know wherever I need to send that energy wherever they require that attention that if I become a parent of that part of my body and consider it as a child and if I give that love if I give that care to that part that attention that it requires can I heal myself so that is the question that's coming to my mind right now yeah it kind of makes sense to me like that we could maybe from a young age habitually treat parts of our bodies with neglect to some extent or maybe I'm thinking of how it might physically manifest of like a constant sort of tension almost requiring and this is interesting too how it might play into with a child where maybe if they don't receive the love and just complete acceptance and care from the the parent figure they might respond by developing some sense of who they are that is compensating for that and is is shielding this this more vulnerable raw part of who they are that was always totally worthy of just being accepted for being a person but they then developed a sense of me in order to receive that love and acceptance but then it also can never really receive it because it's not actually a representation of who they are underneath all those layers of stuff and so I'm thinking of that as our physical parts of ourselves that might have learned to habitually tense up or or tighten or hang on or whatever that is and maybe there's a there's a way that they've learned to do that in order to be like quote unquote good enough for or something like that when they never really needed to and all that they do really need is for us to turn to them now and say you know hey thank you so much for everything that you've done for me and all that you've tried to do and that's like the best that that's all you knew how to do but actually you don't need to do that.

Very true.

It also I think you were talking about that tensing part and how neglect can cause them to develop that tense energy.

I was thinking about the tradition and the culture that I come from and in that culture there's a lot of shaming around the sexual organs of the body so since for a very long time of my life I was that part of my body was neglected by me and there was some sort of tensing there and then when I opened up my mind when I was deconditioned with that idea then I started paying attention to that and that was when I developed that relation again with that part of my body.

So yes I think a term that is coming up in my mind and that is used as you would know in psychology and in our child healing maybe is re-parenting wherein maybe we can re-parent our different parts of our body.

Maybe we have neglected them for so long and not just physical body as you said maybe it's the emotional body or maybe it's the energetic body maybe it's the stuck emotions that we have in the body and if we like re-parent those parts of the body if you pay that attention,

Care,

Love so like this is just an idea right now that it might heal and it might you know maybe we develop that relation again with that part of the body.

Yeah this is really interesting a lot of this is a theme that comes up often in the individual work that I do this notion of the inner child and it can be a difficult notion to work with I think this is maybe a way of approaching it like slightly differently and maybe in a way that's pretty tangible right now like just find a part of your body and open up to it and ask it how it's feeling and let however it's feeling be totally okay and let go of the judgment about the feeling and let go of the judgment about how weird it might feel to be asking yourself how you're feeling.

I think that there's a question that might come up for people in trying to do this is like well how do I do it or and if I try to do it well nothing happens and or it's just like it feels kind of dumb to do it and that voice to me that is making those judgments is like the internalized quote unquote parent figure that is keeping you from looking there and saying no don't look there because you're you're bad or you're stupid or you know shouldn't you just listen to what I say because that's what we do and my feeling is that to notice that too and that's just a part of this process and then just stay with it long enough that something else will come up that something else that is maybe likely really tender and nothing really has to be said.

Yeah yeah exactly.

No that's a wonderful point because it also reminds me of the fact that we there is a lack of acceptance of various parts of the body especially in the society today to see that if you know if your nose is not in a certain way then you will go for a nose job.

If you if your lips are not in a certain way then you will change that through surgery or even you know the notion around having a certain waistline and you know if there is fat around the belly then there is shame around that as well and even if I can I can sense that in me although I try to be as vulnerable as I can be but I can sense that in me if there is fat around my belly and I would unconsciously or consciously maybe try to hide that part of my body somehow and not present it properly then there is shaming of that part of the body and then maybe it might be difficult to work on that part of the body because we have totally neglected that part of the body.

We are not there is no acceptance because there is this idea of you know the notion of a perfect looking man or woman who has this figure and who is tall,

Who is the physique is good,

Who is fit physically and when we are not that when we don't align ourselves with that picture of that perfect man when there is a gap in that then whatever is there in on our body which is not fitting into that picture is shameful and then we don't accept that and then we hide that part of the body and I think that would that would that will only elongate the duration of the process if that part of the body requires healing.

Sort of searching externally to make that part meet some ideal that it might just contribute to the length of time or duration it would take to actually heal to get that thing maybe ultimately that it is that we're looking for because it won't actually come through that external search.

Yeah that brings up an interesting question maybe this is a question for another time because I think this is a whole other realm but there's some security in this idea like the idea that you're talking about what society views as attractive or successful there's some kind of shared within a particular culture or subculture within a particular culture or region there's some sort of shared vision of what that is or what it means to be those things.

Yeah but without that there's I mean there's a lot of potential liberation there in finding your own answers to what that is but it's also maybe kind of scary and vulnerable and there is no like well what do I do then and so maybe you open up to it and that's overwhelming to consider the freedom of that so fall back into well at least there's a structure here even if I see through it and I know that I need to look internally I don't know what I'm going to find there and I don't know what's there.

Yeah I think the it's a good topic to discuss and I think the first step that we would this is what comes to my mind right now is that we might need to work on our self-acceptance and self-esteem because this idea that is embedded into our collective conscious as you said or collective unconscious is that we need to be in a certain way and it comes from the celebrity culture you know how the ways of celebrity looks and then there is this lack of acceptance of our own body the way we look or the way we function in the society and first if we have that acceptance and this acceptance that whatever I am right now and in the sense of the physical body whatever I am right now I am perfect as I am right now so if we first have that acceptance and if I can accept that maybe then I can look at my belly fat you know that I have right now because then I don't have that notion I need to get those six-pack abs to display it maybe then I will be able to love it and once I accept it and maybe look at it at least with love and care and then from there develop that relationship then definitely.

So there's the potential that it's all available right now maybe regardless of however far away someone feels from their goal or their ideal.

Yeah because it comes to my mind that if we are not accepting that if we are just hiding that then we cannot work on that so as you said you know a lot of listeners would have this question that how can we work on it so the first step what I think would be self-acceptance but which could feel and I want you to continue that but which could feel to someone like that's the end of the game when I work on myself and then I get there but I'm in alignment with you that that is an illusion maybe that keeps the illusion alive that I can get somewhere else that then I'll feel acceptance versus what might feel much more difficult of the actual direct I accept myself totally as I am.

As I am right now yeah even if whatever I have on my body you know even if my nose is not perfect even if you know I have an extra finger on my hand or whatever it is you know having acceptance of that how do you think one can develop that self-acceptance?

That to me the first thing that comes up is just enough stillness and silence and there's one practice that I kind of like which is just internally saying whatever it is that you want to the way you would describe that like I am enough I am totally lovable and acceptable whatever it is just saying that internally and repeating that and noticing whatever resistance comes up and being just being really aware of whatever that voice is like and maybe being aware of where that has come from because often I think that's the internalized voice of it might be your parent figures or it might be society maybe these people had no intention of internalizing that into you and maybe it's because they feel that about themselves and then that's just that message has been passed on and internalized into you this idea of like no other people are enough I know that but there's something wrong about me and I could never be enough just as I am but to sit with that the statement I think long just keep staying with it long enough there's and I even feel like my eyes well up as I start to describe it there's there is I think a tenderness that inevitably comes up if you just stay with that kind of statement long enough notice that your the criticism that happens and just be aware of that and then keep staying down below to a deeper level where I think you can be with what is like really your inner child self still very much so alive and a part of who you are today and has always been a part of you and of course that part of you like when was it that you changed from being an infant that was of course totally lovable and acceptable and didn't have to do anything to be those things when is it that you change from that to someone that needs to meet conditions in order to be enough so I think there's a way that we can all still really feel into that part of ourselves that was there from the very beginning and really directly relate to that and feel the yes of course I am completely totally good enough as I am right now and I think other ways of doing that are like even you know visualizing yourself as a child the child version of you or even having a picture of your child self and and ending like the feeling of compassion and acceptance to that part of you and then really importantly I think it's the next step is that it needs to come back to who you are now because I think it can feel easy to do that for your child self because of course but then maybe much harder to actually say that about who you are now which brings me back to the asking like a part of our body how are you feeling how am I feeling I was kind of thinking the importance of both of those questions of asking my hand how are you feeling or asking like this when you said your throat the throat was the part of my body that came up too which has I think a lot to do with historical anxiety and insecurity and which manifested I think socially with fear that centralizes here but asking that part how are you feeling which is maybe kind of me asking my child self how are you feeling but then importantly the other question of asking that part of because that's part of me too as I am right now and my hand is part of me too asking that part how am I feeling because that I don't know that's the way I think of this inner child work is going down all the way to your core feeling the acceptance for that part of yourself and then like coming back up and filling your whole body with complete acceptance as you are right now in this moment because you're the same person.

Yeah,

No that's wonderful that's the wonderful deep insight and as you said it's deeper you know it's much deeper than just asking the physical body because a lot of shame comes from our childhood as you said and I think to add to that I would say that maybe also these voices that we hear in our head and as you said you know there is a contradiction because I might be saying that I am perfect I am enough but then there is this voice that is coming from within or maybe it's coming from my subconscious and it's telling me no you are not no you have this you have you look this way you are not yet that perfect figure or maybe you are not that perfect man yet so there is this contradiction that's coming from within it's a very subtle voice but then if we pay attention to that voice and as you said if we go back to our childhood and ask ourselves where is that coming from then maybe also questioning the validity of that conditioning you know maybe let's say someone said it can be a parent or it can be a friend in school or a relative they said that you this is not right in your body or this part of your body is not right maybe asking the validity of that contemplating on the validity of that statement is that really true if that is not perfect then how do I need to be and you know I think it's a detail conversation because then the answer would come up oh maybe you need to be like George Clooney or someone you know Tom Hanks maybe but then then also asking that question why do I need to be like that why cannot be I be just myself why do I need to be someone else so having that discussion with the the statement that was given to us from from someone questioning the validity of that that can also be helpful in this case yeah it's a really interesting question like just the deep question of why why is it what and and without because I think if there's any if there's a sense of like conflict or or combating between those two if there's a defensive sort of well why should I be that way I think it might pull up defensiveness internally from the other side and then it might not go anywhere but just the real question of like well well honestly why why do I what is what's why do I need to look that way and then wait for the response and then like keep going back and forth and something really interesting might come up I think this is a cool realm that we've stumbled into particularly in relation to the work that both of we do which is working with individual people and I think trying to address some of these questions what makes it so hard to accept myself as I am and how can I like transcend some of that feeling of lack I wonder how that might continue to come up in our conversations in the future I'm like I'm really excited to hear your perspective on this and to be able to share with you some of these things that maybe only have come up with individual people but to have them maybe come up in this here we're individuals but we also have this potential listening audience here it's kind of exciting to open up into that realm of like the inner child concept and all of this yeah and I think with a lot of individuals and I would include myself in that who experience body shaming in any sense and I think this session of today of asking our different parts of the body that how are they feeling this I think this can be really helpful in that aspect of someone who is either experiencing shame from outside or shame from within themselves regarding the way they look or the way their body is and maybe we can you know end this session with a short meditation in which we we just ask the hand initially but maybe we can extend that to different parts of the body and so if you are up for it like for a few minutes yeah that that that sounds great to me and just to comment on it's it's very cool for me to reflect on the path of these meetings and to to remember and feel the confusion that I think we were both in and I wonder if the listener might have also felt in a state of confusion like what are we even talking about right now I think that's a cool place to be able to be in in a vulnerable way and then to just see what happens and then some there was certainly a theme that arose from that state of confusion just the willingness to be okay within that and then stay with it yeah so I just wanted to comment on that and my continued appreciation for for your openness to this and the the way that you helped me explore no and I think I am more thankful to you because you guided me in this idea of doing something like this wherein we just being the moment and see what comes up so thank you for that and as you said I can see it as a graph you know you were talking about the confusion in the beginning so I can see as it up a seat as a upward graph in which the initial part of the conversation is at the lower point of the graph if there is confusion but it's gradually rising and the conversation is building up sounds good well and and so if anyone that if this is their first time listening will will often so we start with that minute of silence and then we talk about whatever comes up and then Sakib is this is sort of a talent I think of his that he does in his individual work which is guides a meditation sort of based on whatever comes up in the moment and so that we've been finishing with a short guided meditation by Sakib based on the topics that have come up in our time together yes I think I'm really excited for this because it's like doing your spontaneous meditation and that is something I really love because then it brings up a new meditation for myself which I can work on so out of this conversation today a new meditation comes to my mind and let's begin with that sounds good great okay so you can get into your comfortable posture and just make sure that your back is straight but is relaxed at the same time and you can gradually close your eyes if you want initially just if you can bring your awareness to your breath for some time you place your awareness on your nostrils as you're breathing let's focus on the bend Now let's begin with questioning each and every part of our body.

How is it feeling?

You can bring your awareness to your head.

Ask your head or any specific part of your head.

How is it feeling right now?

Listen to any answer that comes up.

Or maybe just feel the answer rather than listening.

And once you are done,

Maybe you can gradually move your awareness downwards and ask your neck and shoulders how are they feeling right now?

If these parts have any requests from you,

You can cater to that request.

Maybe if they ask you to relax,

Then you can just make them relax.

You can move your awareness downwards in your own time and ask your chest how is it feeling?

If you want to spend time with any particular part of the body,

You can do that.

Maybe you just want to ask one particular part of the body today.

It's okay to do that.

And once you get the answer,

You can ask your abdomen.

Your arms and hands.

Your pelvis.

Your hips.

Your thighs and knees.

Your calves and your feet.

How are you feeling right now?

Once you are done,

You can gradually open your eyes and come out of the meditation in your own time.

So how was this experience?

Something I appreciated or felt like it kind of unlocked something was when you gave permission for the response to be a feeling.

This is necessarily being maybe like a thought answer or verbal answer or something like that.

I think that unlocked a capacity to receive a real response,

But that didn't need to be encapsulated in any particular form.

I like that.

I think I'm going to be thinking about this and this will be lingering for me.

I love just how this kind of exploration can open up or unlock the new perspective in a little way.

And then the perspective just keeps expanding and then more can come in because of that recent unlocking that has just opened up a little bit more so more can come in.

I'll really be sitting with this notion of asking these parts of myself,

How are you feeling?

How is my feeling asking,

Quote unquote,

Them that.

What was it like for you to guide?

No,

I think the same and I was having this curiosity and maybe because we are short on time right now,

But I would like to definitely make this meditation longer and take each and every part of the body that how is it feeling?

Because even right now it might feel that,

Okay,

This person is asking me that and how am I feeling,

But it's not giving me time to answer.

We need to spend time with this and every part and feel that.

So I think that is something I'm going to do.

It's something really great that came up today in this conversation of ours.

Yeah,

I bet you could stay just for a really long time with one part.

Yeah,

Yeah.

That will be wonderful actually.

And I think I believe that a lot of things will come up.

I think an interesting thing I'll be sitting with is the question of what is the source that is providing the acceptance and the love for these parts of myself with that kind of belief in there not being a particular spot that is the center of me and feeling like what is that the source that is providing that complete acceptance and love for these parts of myself and for the inner child.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Because I think when you you're right,

Because when you say that I want to provide love to this part of the body,

Then somehow there is a notion that this part of the body is separate from my head.

What is it that is giving me love to that part?

So I think that's a good question to contemplate on.

Yeah.

It was reminding me of how you started our meeting today with the use of the term namaste.

And I'd be interested to hear what that means to you.

And to me,

It's something it's a word that I used to feel resistance from because I maybe didn't really understand it.

But and then I maybe came across this particular definition of it and it was like,

That makes a lot of sense to me.

And it is a feeling,

It's encapsulating a feeling that that I really get,

Which is acknowledge the sacred within you.

Yeah.

But then,

You know,

Where is the I that is acknowledging that and it's like also the sacred,

It's like sacred acknowledging sacred within someone else.

And sometimes I would substitute that with saying that the God in me loves the God in you.

So although I feel this God is one but then again,

Because we are having these different experiences in life.

So yes,

My students loves your experience.

Totally accepts your experience.

Well,

Great.

Maybe we should finish there.

Yes,

It was a great time today.

Thank you so much.

Yeah,

Thank you.

Thanks,

Everyone for listening.

And we'll,

I'll see you and see everyone next time.

Sure.

See you.

Take it clear.

Take care.