Prejudice & Connection

Thank you for sharing an open and honest reflection. I hear ya’. It toll my until I was 70 to learn while in a very deep meditation when I heard a voice tell me ‘“You were born unto yourself, Deenise, not born unto your parents.” This was as I experienced my birth and saw the truth. During the Pandemic, I learned to hear and see with compassion. Not that I wasn’t a gentle warrior but it was a step far deeper.

Charles Im grappling with an Indifferent world. Indifferent friends. Who watch the tiniest of us murdered in the most horrifying ways imaginable. And they carry on their lives as if nothing is happening. I couldn't listen to another Gratitude Meditation this morning. I needed this. I need to bookmark it and listen again. I've lost faith in humanity.

I am appreciating this talk, and your willingness to imagine what life might feel like through another set of glasses. I felt surprisingly emotional to hear your consideration of what it might feel like to have to choose loss again. Thank you for creating this.

This was a truly remarkable essay. Heartfelt thanks to you for expressing something that seems ever-elusive, controversial, deeply personal, and often ineffable. (It’s fortunate that I have an appointment with my chiropractor later today, because my head was nodding so much that I think I may’ve sprained something…) My supposition is—and you’ll hopefully forgive any presumptuousness, here—that this was written and recorded not too long after a notorious race-hatred-driven murder befell the great city of Minneapolis. What you so eloquently sort through here, using the terrific rhetorical device/motif of a “pair of glasses,” is a durable self-appraisal that holds particular efficacy and relevancy more than five years hence. This nation is currently enduring paroxysms of “othering” and state-sponsored violence and aggression not seen since we were nearly torn assunder 160 years ago. It has caused to arise in me similar conflicts of the psyche and soul, and so your dutiful unpacking exercise herein is especially helpful. Verily, I too was issued the categorical ‘style’ of glasses to which you refer, and I also wrestle with the impulse to judge, the zero-sum dichotomy you brilliantly identify, and the constant practice of trying to understand that mysterious connective tissue that binds everyone and every thing. Charles, you are a tremendous gift to this earth, and the myriad beneficial ways in which you affect, uplift and illuminate others—and prod them to consider their own minds and how they move through life—is something inestimable. Thank you for all that you do.

A good place to start

Gay, gender-queer and not so white here —labels that fit well, but that I struggle hard to own — in a world that dangles the privilege of wearing glasses of Straight, White and CIS instead. Honestly I flinch when you said not accepting any guilt, Since as you admitted the privileged construct, hides hypocrisy to the point of murder —in order to sustain Itself… While also, you articulate spiritual metaphysical philosophy of the unnamed self —relating it to real current and relevant challenges —thorns now abutting themselves against our every day humdrum in an unshirkable way, I commend you for being so deeply authentic and real, I find how you are able to speak truly encouraging , pointing to how any set of glasses we wear are always somehow fangled in whatever which way, what you model is accountability, that guilt, and to me, in turn entitlement — are mechanisms of the filter, not some inherent or secret truths, You demonstrate admitting privilege and deconstructing the stereotype, and reconnecting with the deepest truest part of ourselves, I want to get to a place where in the height of conflict I can name and rely on that unnamed state, you point to framework where that might be viable, thanks for bridging the two worlds together. I admire your skills and expertise —mostly your courage, to apply them in a way that’s meaningful —at least to me. Thank you for seeing yourself and helping us all more clearly seeing and accepting ourselves. —2025-09-13—06h49.31-SAST— Carlos-M-Saraiva—

Really deep, valuable. Picking up a friend today from a month long therapeutic setting where she was almost attacked out of bigotry two days before the end of her therapy. Then when we went to a gas station to use the bathroom, we overheard bigotry towards our trio spoken in Spanish . Was it a coincidence or were the words directed at us? We didn’t hang around to find out. What I notice with compassion in this rising climate of oppression, is how survivors of bigotry will often bully other groups they perceive as “weaker”, but in my fear I have a hard time letting go of my “victimhood” because I’m doing everything I can to be respectful and kind in public and in my history, no matter what I do, some people just don’t like me. My fear closes in on itself like you said yours did, so I’m in the process of confronting it — again. It’s like the bullies who used to beat me up at the bus stop in grade school . My Mom said, “They’re trying to get a reaction from you. Don’t react.” I tried. They threw me down in the snow and scattered my books and laughed. My Grandpa said you must learn to fight back. He tried to teach me to box. I didn’t want to. It was torture. I solved the situation by brokering with the Driver to pick me up at an unofficial stop by myself across the road when the bus came back down the hill. Thank you for addressing this in a profound way because I have a lot more soul-searching to to, and you certainly encourage me. Bless & Keep Us All safe and moving towards a better future in these troubled, confusing, and ultimately transformative times. 💖♾️❤️‍🩹

Just this very day I found myself at a crossroad in assessment of friends who have demonstrated a moral compass in opposition to my own. Am I being judgemental? I wish to walk away as my feelings are very deep and strong. My core values driving me to make this decision. Am I to accept something from another being that disturbs my self? Just because they have a different set of glasses than I? I really enjoyed your disclosure and share. Thank you Charles.

Touching message Charles, thank you. Honesty should always be welcome - from as many different glasses as possible. 🦋

Just as our eyesight changes in time, our inner vision of others & self can too. Peeling away the many layers of our judgements is liberating. We can hang up our old useless glasses & put on new ones. Thanks for your own in-sight Charles. 🙏

Charles, this was wonderful. So glad you decided to share your thoughts. I was given privileged glasses too, and am exploring how to “see” the world in this new way. Well done!

Very thought provoking. Perhaps we all need to try a pair of verifoculs lenses, or to take our sunglasses off from time to time. I think your explanation is very positive. Thank you.

Thank you for looking deeply and feeling deeply to become the beautiful person that you are 🙏😊🙏

Thanks Charles. As a straight white male Who has been paying attention to the inequities of race since my teens, I’m glad that some of us are at least attempting to wake up. I did a unit of CPE last year and a big part of our education was around this subject race and while I certainly and by no means finished with my journey, it was good to know that according to others I’m moving in the right direction. I especially like your example of the inner dialogue surrounding I don’t comfortable thought, your ability to change it and result in compassion. When we can see another individual it’s just another suffering human being regardless of their race sexual idea Gender etc. our connection to them changes and our ability to meet Them with equanimity increases. Again thank you

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’ll ponder yours while I examine my own. The glasses metaphor is a good one.

Thank you for your insight. Super clear and something we all can learn from. I will share this with others whom I know need to hear it.

Interesting reflections, on this very difficult topic.

Racism is just the tip of the iceberg. Eighty percent of the market is controlled by one percent of the population. Women still make approximately thirty percent less than men. When I was growing up, we made sixty percent less than men. Most of the country has not and will not be born into the pair of glasses you speak of. I speak from experience. Clearly, the issue you’ve identified is at the crux of the matter. Once one peels away all the layers of the onion we’re left with this. Thank you for speaking up. I enjoyed listening. 🙏❤️🌎

Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏽 ✨ As a mixed race woman, raised in a mixed race foster home, I appreciate your insightful honesty. ♥️

It was an interesting example of how to use mindfulness to compassionately let go of a false sense of self and others.