Equanimity

Equanimity is stability of the mind, Bhikkhu Bodhi defines it as "inner equipoise that cannot be upset by gain and loss, honor and dishonor, praise and blame, pleasure and pain." Cultivating equanimity - one of the four brahmaviharas - gives us stability, calm and strength to cope with change and challenges.

Transcript

Find a comfortable position.

Make sure that both of your feet are firmly placed on the ground,

That your back is erect but not rigid and allow your eyes to gently close.

Before we begin,

Tune into your body and make sure that you're sitting in a comfortable position.

See if you can make any minor adjustments to make yourself feel more comfortable.

We will begin with a few minutes of centering and concentration just to help you settle your mind and ease into our main practice which will be cultivating equanimity.

Let's begin by taking a deep breath in and a long slow breath out.

Another deep breath in and a slow long exhale and one more time take a deep breath in count to three one two three and then slowly exhale.

Allow your body now to resume its natural pace and don't try to control your breathing.

Focus on your nostrils and try to feel slight gentle tingling as the air comes in and a subtle warmth as the air comes out of your nostrils.

In order to focus more efficiently we will use a counting exercise.

As you breathe in,

Breathe in with awareness and as you begin to exhale you can count one.

Breathe in again and with the next exhale count two.

Count up to ten and then start from one again.

Counting is a tool that helps us build concentration.

If it happens that you forget what number you're on,

Simply go back to one and start again.

During the exercise you will notice your mind wandering and this is a really good chance to cultivate mindfulness and concentration and insight.

Each time you notice your mind wandering you're actually strengthening your ability to recognize your experience.

Each time you bring your mind back to the breath you're strengthening your focus and concentration.

Every time you have to start counting back from one it's not a failure,

It's an insight.

We will now begin cultivating equanimity.

Begin by visualizing a person that you see frequently but that you don't have positive or negative feelings towards.

A neutral person,

A neighbor,

A co-worker.

Imagine them standing in front of you.

You may offer them equanimity by saying the following phrases to them.

Your happiness and your suffering depend on your actions and not on my wishes.

One more time.

Your happiness and your suffering depend on your actions and not on my wishes.

You may repeat the phrases at your own pace trying to feel what each and every one of them mean.

I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering.

I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering.

Now before you say goodbye to the person you visualized,

You may wish them to find peace.

May you be undisturbed by the comings and goings of events.

Or you may simply say may you find peace.

Now imagine a benefactor,

A mentor,

Someone who has extended kindness and love to you in the past,

Someone you hold in high regard.

Imagine them standing in front of you as vividly as you can.

You may try and remember how you feel about this person.

Remember some of the good things,

Acts of kindness or help that they've extended towards you in the past.

Now let's try to generate some equanimity towards them as well.

Your happiness and your suffering depend on your actions and not on my wishes.

Let's try and send them the message again.

Your happiness and your suffering depend on your actions and not on my wishes.

I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering.

And once more,

I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering.

If you feel the need to,

You may repeat one of these phrases again to the person you've imagined.

Also,

Make sure to tune into your body and see what kinds of feelings it's generating in your chest,

In your abdomen.

And if you feel the need to,

You may repeat one of these phrases again to the person you've imagined.

It's a generating in your chest,

In your abdomen.

If you don't feel anything specifically,

That is also okay.

Meditation is not only about generating a certain feeling,

It's also about setting an intention.

Before you say goodbye to your mentor,

You may want to say goodbye with a phrase such as,

May you be undisturbed by the comings and goings of events.

Now,

Bring to mind a friend,

Someone you've known for a long time and someone that you feel is close to you,

Someone that you feel loves you and cares for you.

Again,

We extend the same message.

Your happiness and your suffering depend on your actions and not on my wishes.

Try to repeat this phrase several more times and see what kind of an echo they produce in your body.

Now let's try another phrase.

I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering.

I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering.

Now,

Say goodbye to your friend with a phrase,

May you find peace or may you be undisturbed by the comings and goings of events.

Now,

Bring to mind a difficult person,

Someone that you've had conflicts with or difficulties of some other kinds.

Try,

At least in the beginning,

Not to remember a complete enemy,

A person you hate,

Rather someone with whom you've had a complex and difficult relationship.

Try to imagine them standing in front of you and before you try to extend any feelings towards them,

Make sure to see how you feel with that person standing in front of you.

If you're overwhelmed by intense emotions,

You may want to imagine someone else or simply focus on your breath for the next few minutes.

If you choose to proceed,

Then try extending the same phrases as you did to other people.

Your happiness and your suffering depend on your actions and not on my wishes.

I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering.

Now,

As you say goodbye to the difficult person,

Try to do it with a phrase,

May you find peace.

Now,

The time has come for you to try and offer equanimity to yourself as well.

Gently repeat a few times,

My happiness and my suffering depend on my actions.

My happiness and my suffering depend on my actions.

Now,

Try another phrase,

May I accept things as they are.

Just repeat this a few times,

Slowly.

Make sure to pay attention to what every word means and how you react to it.

May I accept things as they are.

May I accept things as they are.

And now let's try and generate some compassion,

Rather self-compassion.

May I find peace.

Repeat that a few times.

May I find peace.

Now,

Try to imagine all of your close friends and your family in front of you.

Visualize the people you know,

The people you've met,

The people you've only seen but you've never met them.

The neutral people,

The friendly people,

The people that you dislike.

Try and extend this message to all of them.

I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering.

I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering.

Now,

Imagine yourself among them.

May we all accept things as they are.

May we all find peace.

Now,

Try to bring focus back to your body,

To your chest,

To your abdomen,

Pelvis,

Legs,

Arms.

Check if there's any specific part of your body reacting to this exercise.

If so,

You may want to focus on that part for a while.

Now,

Take a deep breath in.

Hold the breath for a few seconds.

One,

Two,

Three and exhale slowly.

When you're ready,

You may open your eyes and try and extend this feeling of strength and peace as you continue with the rest of your day.

Reviews

So very true
Equanimity and acceptance are companions
Thought provoking meditation

No rush into equanimity for difficult people, nice.

Namaste 🙏

Very real, very deep and extending to the world that surrounds me. 🙏🏻

Excellent exercise in equiminity. Thank you

Perfect meditation. Like a metta practice but focused on extending equanimity to all

I needed this, so practical and moving. Thank you so much

Excellent. You are one of my favourite new guides on here.
One thing- I wish there were a few extra seconds to come up with a person, as I struggled to decide so quickly who to focus on.

Good, traditional with space to move at your own pace

Thank you. Powerful!

Beautiful practice, beautifully guided.

Perfect. Wonderful instruction and pace. Thank you.

Thank you so much! 🙏🏻

I’ll be using this. Thanks

Wonderful meditation. Thank you.

It makes me stronger.