The focusing attitude.
Focusing is a way of connecting with and talking to your larger embodied emotional visceral self.
It's a self that we live from.
It's a self that is always there,
Always guiding us,
But we usually don't notice it in our ordinary lives.
And focusing is a way not only of noticing it,
But it's also a way of engaging it.
It's a way of actually having a conversation with it.
And this is quite a miracle.
One of my young friends,
When he heard about focusing,
Said,
Wow,
This is amazing.
It's like giving a computer its own programming.
So it knows how it works.
That's amazing.
And it is amazing.
It's something very natural and organic that is a part of life,
But it's something that we lose contact with,
And sometimes we don't know how to regain connection with it.
So focusing requires,
And it also enables,
A particular kind of attitude.
It's an attitude of receptivity and an attitude of openness and welcome.
And we call that the focusing attitude.
And you can't focus without that attitude.
But many of us are alienated from ourselves.
We may be distant from ourselves.
We may not even like ourselves.
We may be in a fight with ourselves.
How can we be open and receptive to this self?
Some people aren't even on talking terms with themselves.
And yet,
This openness is required for focusing.
I think the answer is that an attitude is something that you not only feel and comes to you,
But also something that you take up.
You can take an attitude,
Whereas a feeling comes or doesn't come.
A good feeling,
A bad feeling,
A feeling you like,
A feeling you don't like.
An attitude has feelings in it,
But it's a way that we approach things.
It's a way we approach our feelings and our thoughts and what we're doing.
So a focusing attitude is something we cultivate.
Since focusing is a very special,
Unique,
And even sacred kind of conversation with ourselves,
We have to prepare for it by inviting this focusing attitude,
Inviting this openness,
Inviting this receptivity.
But if we can't do this,
And sometimes we can't,
What we can do is we can look for a little bit of curiosity,
Because curiosity brings openness.
And curiosity is something a little bit closer than compassion for ourselves or empathy for ourselves.
It's like in this conversation,
We don't know what's going to come up or how this self is going to show up.
So we can be a little bit curious,
Like what will it say,
This self that I don't even like?
And that little bit of curiosity makes a space to begin to have this attitude of receptivity.
Our judgments are not going to go away.
We have judgments,
But we're creating for this special conversation with ourselves a judgment-free zone.
It's a room of ourselves where we put the judgments outside the door.
We let them wait.
We're not going to entertain them right now.
We're not going to get rid of them.
They're going to be there.
But while we focus,
We have them wait outside in the waiting room.
And curiosity can help us to do that.
So I would invite you now to close your eyes or just look at something that is restful to see and settle into your seat.
Take a couple of deep breaths to prepare for this special conversation,
This surprising conversation.
Be open to the surprise of it.
Sort of put aside all your responsibilities and thoughts and worries and all of that.
And find in yourself a place of openness,
Expectancy,
Receptivity,
Interest,
A place of welcome for what will come.
In this conversation with this larger self,
We don't know how it will show up.
And we have to wait for it.
We have to welcome it.
And we have to receive it in whatever form it comes.
And it will speak to us in metaphors or in language that doesn't quite make sense,
Kind of poetic language.
And we can look for that,
Those images that may come.
We don't know,
And that not knowing is an important way that we approach focusing.
Being open to the surprise of it.
But what if you're one of those people that isn't on good terms with yourself?
Somebody that doesn't get along with yourself right now,
In conflict with yourself.
Or you can't find yourself.
Or you can't understand yourself.
Or you're not even on speaking terms with yourself.
What can you do?
You can look for a little spark of curiosity.
A little spark of wanting to know what will come.
Being interested in it.
It doesn't matter if you like it or you don't like it.
To be interested in it.
To receive it.
And all of the judgments,
And we all have judgments,
All those judgments can wait outside the door of your focusing space.
We're not sending them away.
We're not denying them.
We're just asking them to wait outside the door in the waiting room until the focusing can have its own conversation.
And when you have found that little bit of curiosity,
Breathe into it.
The question of what is this all about?
What don't I know about this?
How might it speak to me?
How might it show up?
What is its language?
These questions that bring curiosity,
Let's breathe into them and settle into a quiet,
Gentle space of seeing what will happen when we begin to focus.
Okay.
