Tender self-compassion break.
This tender self-compassion break is a version of the self-compassion break from the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.
This practice is adapted from Dr.
Kristin Knaff's book,
Fierce Self-Compassion.
And it's designed to bring in some tenderness and some loving connected presence for when you're hurting or struggling in some way.
I'll suggest some words as we move through this practice,
But I welcome you to find language that works for you personally.
Let's begin.
Go ahead and find a comfortable position.
Whatever that means for your body right now could be sitting,
Standing,
Or even lying down.
Just making sure that you will be supported for the length of this practice.
And go ahead and take a few deep breaths to settle in,
To turn your awareness inward.
And go ahead and think of a situation in your life that's difficult,
Something that is causing suffering,
Something that you want to approach in a more caring and accepting way.
Maybe you are feeling inadequate in some way or you're really sad about something that's happening in your life.
And you'd like some loving connected presence to help you through.
And if practicing self-compassion is new for you,
Please choose something in the mild to moderate range as you're first learning the practice,
So not something too overwhelming.
And allow yourself to feel your way into the problem,
Noting any uneasiness or discomfort that you experience in your body.
What's going on?
Where do you feel it the most?
How do you feel it?
Just take a moment and make contact with that discomfort in your body.
And now we're going to bring in the three components of self-compassion.
And the first is mindfulness.
So mindfulness,
When it comes to tender acceptance,
Is really just about being present with what is,
Being present and validating the pain.
Saying to yourself something like,
This is really hard to feel.
Or this is really hard to experience.
This moment is painful.
Yeah.
Or I'm really hurting.
Just being with what is happening right here and right now.
And then reminding yourself of your humanity,
Feelings like this,
Situations like this,
This is all part of being human.
I'm not alone in this.
Others are like me.
And there's nothing wrong with me for feeling this way.
So really allow yourself to feel your way into the problem.
And then you can feel it in your body.
Feeling this way.
So really allowing yourself to feel your connectedness to others in your own imperfection.
Really being with common humanity.
And finally,
We want to bring in some kindness.
Right?
So one way to do this is to go ahead and put your hands over your heart or any place on your body that feels soothing and safe.
Really allowing yourself to feel the warmth and gentle touch of your hand.
Maybe imagining love and kindness flowing through your hand into your body.
Soothing yourself because of this difficult experience.
And saying something kind to yourself,
That's exactly what you need to hear.
So some options are saying with tenderness,
May I be kind to myself?
Right?
May I be kind to myself?
Other options might be,
May I accept myself as I am?
Or it's okay to be imperfect.
Or I'm here for you.
Or if it feels comfortable,
You can even try saying,
I love you.
And if you're not sure what to say,
That's all right.
You might imagine what you would say to a dear friend or someone that you love who's in a very similar situation.
So what words of care and comfort would you use to help your friend?
And then go ahead and try saying something similar to yourself.
That's self kindness.
Now letting the practice go,
Just allowing yourself to be exactly as you are in this moment.
Nothing to do.
No need to fix anything.
Simply being with.
Slowly and gently opening up your body.
Maybe taking a moment to stretch as you gently and tenderly open your eyes.
Thank you.
