IFS Polarized Parts, Practice For Inner Conflict

This is an Internal Family Systems practice. In this practice, you will be guided towards connecting with parts that are complimentary but in opposition. This practice is designed to support connection and to help with inner conflict. This is a practice that is most beneficial for folks who have an existing parts practice. It is inspired by the common experience of polarization, and also the work of Toni Herbine Blank.

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

The meditation that we're going to be working on together in today's practice is a polarization practice.

In internal family systems therapy,

We believe that polarizations or inner conflicts,

As most of us discuss them,

Are just completely normal and natural products of living life.

And so in this practice,

Our goal is not to eliminate inner conflict completely and just become 100% sure of every single decision that we make,

But rather to,

I see the work of working on polarization as an opportunity for connection,

For greater understanding and compassion,

And like any other family,

To become more collaborative.

So let's go ahead and get started.

I'm going to invite you to find a comfortable seat for your body.

Feeling free,

Though,

To lay or stand or even rock or move as we make our way through the practice.

Choose what feels right for your body in this moment.

Knowing that there's no one right way to practice any arts work or meditation,

But rather asking,

What does my body need right now?

And so the first thing I'm going to ask you to do as we start working with these polarized parts is to just by taking some nice,

Long,

Deep breaths.

And you can close your eyes,

Either partially or fully.

And you can close your eyes,

Either partially or fully.

Sometimes I find that by closing my eyes,

It just helps with settling in and beginning that U-turn.

Sometimes just closing off the other senses allows for greater attention and focus.

And so working with polarized parts or inner conflicts involves working with parts that are complementary.

And so they might have a similar amount of energy,

But they're conflictual,

Right,

Not really getting along.

And so some of these parts that are complementary but in conflict with one another,

These tend to come up when we're making decisions or when we're having strong impulses in one direction or another.

And so you're going to have an opportunity to spend some time with two of your parts who are in opposition to each other,

But both have an intention to help you.

And so as you're breathing in,

As you're connecting to yourself,

Just take a few moments to notice.

Notice if you're aware of two parts of you that get into conflict when you try to make a decision about something.

And in fact,

That may be what has drawn you to this practice.

And so you might be really clear about which parts show up for you and which parts you want to work with.

Or you might even be aware that there are parts to have feelings about doing this practice and that are pulling on you right now.

So the first thing that we want to do is to just begin to find those parts inside.

Where are they in or around your body?

Where are they in or around your body?

And to just begin feeling into the energy of these two parts.

Who shows up first?

Who shows up second?

And just gently beginning to listen to them,

To notice them.

And begin to invite them forward.

And just as you're feeling into the energy of these parts on the inside,

See if there's a third that can get involved.

It tries to mediate,

Tries to help you make the decision,

Maybe tries to slow things down,

Or maybe even gets anxious when you have these parts that are in conflict on the inside.

And so you're just noticing that inner triangle.

And see if it's possible for you to breathe some space here.

And if there are other parts that are trying to get involved and help,

Just ask them to step aside.

So that you can make room for curiosity.

And if you did notice that mediator,

That go-between,

Maybe flapping its arms or trying to cool everything down,

See if you can just focus on it for a second.

Say hi.

Let this part know that you are here,

That you,

That's you.

That you,

That's you.

And you're going to spend some time with these two parts and see if it would relax and trust you.

It can watch,

It can stay nearby,

But just to give you enough space to be present with the two parts that are in opposition with each other.

And once you're able to help that part relax,

Then come back to the two parts,

The two target parts,

And notice how you feel towards them.

And see if it's possible to access some open-hearted curiosity within yourself without aligning with one or the other.

For trying to fix or change,

Just be present.

And once it feels like you've been able to access some self-energy towards these parts,

I'm going to invite you to imagine an infinity symbol.

And invite both of these parts to be present.

And invite both parts into each of the circles and invite them to bring their energy into their side of the symbol.

Just as another way to help them unblend and you to stay in relationship with them.

You might even notice the size of each circle.

Maybe one is larger,

Maybe one is smaller.

Maybe they're the same size.

So just experimenting with what it's like to have the energy of these parts flowing into these circles.

For right now,

They aren't flowing into each other or against each other,

Hopefully.

Just allowing them to take a moment to be present.

And again,

Noticing how you feel towards them.

Beginning to extend some of that self-energy to both.

Letting them know that you'll be listening to both of them today,

Not just one or the other.

And again,

Noticing how you feel towards both of them.

And again,

Noticing how you feel towards both of them.

But you're going to be listening and paying attention to both of them.

Making sure that they know you're here for both of them.

And once you do that,

You can sense into,

Or maybe they're already letting you know,

Which part you're going to start with.

And then before you start with that part,

Just go ahead and reassure the other part that you'll definitely be listening to it in the same way.

And then just asking if it'll give you permission to spend time with the other one,

Just for right now.

Maybe offering a reminder that we're not connecting to take sides,

But just to understand and to give them new options.

And sometimes where there is rigidity,

There can be shame.

So just letting them know that self can help with letting go of shamefulness that may be being carried.

And then focus your attention on the part you're going to be listening to.

And invite it to begin to tell you about itself,

What it sees as its job,

What its role is in your system.

And see if you can listen with no agenda.

Again,

Without needing it to be any different than it is,

Just inviting the story.

What does it want you to know about itself?

What is its intention?

For you?

What is its hope for you?

And notice if it's possible even to discern just some of the wisdom here,

Right?

Our parts are our wise collaborators.

If it feels right,

You might even ask if it would be willing to tell you what it's afraid would happen.

Or what it's afraid will happen.

If you listen to this other part that it's in such a struggle with.

And see if you can make some sense of that to validate that.

And then when you're ready and it feels right,

Ask it to let you know who it's protecting.

What is it afraid would happen if it stepped back or relaxed?

Maybe it is protecting another part of you.

And just invite it to just let you know all about that.

Whatever it wants you to know about that for today.

And notice if it's possible for you to really make sense of this part,

Keeping your heart open to it,

Making sense of what it's trying to do for you.

And then when you're ready,

Make sense of what it's trying to do for you.

And who it's protecting and why it's so afraid and alarmed.

So send it some appreciation and some kindness.

And then letting it know that in a minute,

You're gonna be going and spending some time with the other part.

And so just ask what it needs from you right now.

To feel safe as you begin to change your focus.

To trust you that you're not leaving it.

That you'll be coming back.

And then when you feel ready,

You're gonna begin to focus on the other side of the symbol.

The other part that's been waiting there.

So maybe thanking it for its patience.

For being willing to wait for you and begin the same kind of inquiry.

Inviting this part to tell you about its job,

Its role,

And what it's trying to do for you.

And find out from this part,

What alarms it about this other part of you.

Just see if you can listen without any agenda.

Without needing it to be any different than it is.

Just being present.

Just keep inviting it to let you know everything it needs you to know.

About the job that it does.

About the fears that it has.

Maybe even who it's protecting on the inside.

And when it gets caught up in this cycle,

This polarization with the other part,

What's the fear that motivates that?

What's it afraid is gonna happen to you?

Or what does happen to you in this part's eyes when you listen to the other part that it's in conflict with?

Just keep listening.

And receiving information in whatever way it's coming.

You might come to learn that as for who it's protecting,

It may be the same part that's being protected as the other part of you.

Or is it a different,

Exiled,

Younger part of you?

And just begin to appreciate and validate this part for how hard it works on your behalf.

And make sense if possible.

Of why this part gets in conflict with the other part of you.

See if you can really make some sense of that.

And when that feels right,

Just begin to focus again on the loop with both parts inside.

And ask if they're both aware of each other.

And what each of them have been trying to do on your behalf.

And on behalf of your vulnerable parts.

What are they aware of?

Or are they aware?

And what is it like?

What is it like to be meeting each other today in this way?

And I invite you to see if you can name to the part the wisdom that each brings.

What are you learning from them?

And in a minute I'm going to begin to bring you back.

But before I do,

You might see if there's anything you want to say to these parts.

Together,

Separately.

Any kind of acknowledgement that you'd like to make.

Or if there's anything that needs to happen between you and either one of these parts or both together.

So maybe there's an intention that you want to make.

Or an invitation for them to stay connected to you.

Maybe even an intention to come back to them at another time if it feels like the work isn't complete.

When that feels complete,

I'd like to invite you to invite both these parts to join you.

Whether that means carrying them around or just inviting them to keep witnessing in their circles.

Whatever feels right for you and your part.

So whenever you're ready,

Just releasing the focus on the parts.

Taking a breath.

And then whenever you're ready,

Slowly and gently opening your eye.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thank you! I found this very helpful and validating for my polarized parts: apathy and help. Both working with the same exile, but in their own way. I think now we can all work together. Thank you!