Self-Compassion & Being With Difficult Emotions (MBCT)

Worry, stress, negative self-talk, anger, and fear - these things can feel so debilitating and overwhelming. If we try to resist them, it can seem that they only get stronger. As Yung says "what we resist persists, and what we fight we get more of". Instead, if we cultivate an attitude of allowing and gentle inquiry then what seemed overwhelming may no longer feel so difficult to hold. In this meditation, you'll learn how to bring kind attention to these feelings.

Transcript

Welcome to this guided meditation for being with difficult emotions.

In this meditation you'll be invited to shift from being in the thought about the difficult emotion to noticing the sensation in your body connected with any thoughts.

Ruminating,

Catastrophizing,

Worrying about the future.

So often our mind will get caught up in the what if worries.

The worst case scenario,

Fantasies about how the future may turn out.

Underneath these worries,

Underneath this catastrophizing or thinking about the worst possible outcomes will be an emotion.

Maybe something has happened and you're feeling sad or lonely.

And underneath any thinking there is about this is the raw sensation of the emotion here in your body right now.

And that's what we're going to explore in this meditation.

Feeling that sensation in your body and bringing kindness to the rawness of the emotion.

If right now you are experiencing a difficult emotion,

Starting by acknowledging to yourself that that emotion is here right now.

And acknowledging that perhaps this is a difficult emotion to feel.

You may be acknowledging that right now there is a feeling of sadness or anger or fear.

Starting by simply acknowledging that this is what I notice right now.

Feeling fear,

Feeling anger.

And whatever the emotion is that you are noting,

Acknowledging to yourself that perhaps this is a difficult emotion to feel.

It feels hard to feel like this right now.

And then recognizing as you become aware of the emotion that you're not alone.

Taking a moment to recognize that whatever emotion you're feeling right now,

In this world of billions of people,

There will be others feeling just the way you do.

Allowing the difficulty of this emotion to connect you to your shared humanity and the recognition that you're not alone.

And as you bring this attention to the difficult emotion,

Dropping down now into your body.

Recognizing how easy it might be to go into your head,

Going into a narrative.

It's not fair or why does this have to happen to me?

The thoughts we have about the difficult emotions and the way we resist them.

Instead,

Exploring what this difficult emotion is like here in this moment as a sensation in your body.

Becoming curious about where you feel the emotion in your body.

And noticing if that sensation is deep inside your body or on the surface.

Whether it's moving or still.

Whether it has a temperature.

Is it hot or cold?

Is there a color?

And does it feel the same throughout or are there different sensations on the surface and deeper inside?

As you notice these sensations,

Having an attitude of allowing this emotion to be here right now.

And also of creating space.

Creating space around these sensations so that if they need to get larger,

They have a space to move into.

If they shrink and disappear,

Then allowing that process to happen as well.

We're not doing this meditation with the end objective being to eradicate the sensations.

It may be you'll need to feel and be present to these physical sensations for a little while.

And you're bringing an attitude of kindness to them rather than trying to eradicate them.

As you notice these sensations in your body,

Staying present to everything you've noticed about them.

And then imagining that you could breathe into the center of these sensations.

Breathing out,

Releasing,

Letting go of any effort.

With every breath,

Breathing into the center of these sensations.

Breathing out,

Releasing,

Letting go of any effort.

Breathing in,

Bringing a kind breath into the middle of these sensations.

Breathing out,

Letting go.

At the same time imagining you're surrounding these sensations with a space of holding,

Of kindness.

And as you breathe into the sensations you can add to this sense of holding,

Of kind attention.

By bringing your hands to rest on your body.

It may be you simply rest a hand on your tummy and a hand on the chest around the area of the heart.

Or there may be some other way that your body asks to be held right now.

Taking a moment to ask your body how it wants to be held.

And responding to that,

Bringing your hands to rest on your body in a way that feels caring and loving.

When we rest our hands on our body it will lead to the release of oxytocin,

Which boosts our mood and gives us a feeling of well-being and ease.

So although you may feel it seems a little strange to be doing this,

If you can do this and keep your hands resting on your body for a little while,

Really feeling the kindness of your touch,

You will start to notice a difference in your body,

A different sensation,

A greater sense of ease.

So now continuing to breathe in to the sensations in your body connected with the sense of the difficult emotion.

Feeling the contact of your hands where they're resting on your body.

And then noticing how you're speaking to yourself.

Noticing if the tone of your inner voice is kind or harsh.

Are you telling yourself off for having these emotions?

Are you telling yourself in some way that you are failing to be feeling like this?

And instead imagining how you would speak to a close friend if they were suffering.

And seeing if there's a way you can speak to yourself with kindness.

As you breathe in to the sensations in your body connected with the difficult emotion,

You may say something like,

It's okay,

I know this hurts.

I'm here for you.

Very often the parts of us that hurt are connected to a younger part of ourselves.

The part of ourselves that experienced a sorrow or a mishap or a difficulty.

And so as we tune in to the difficult emotions and we tune in to the struggle we might have in response to a situation in our life,

We're also holding that part of ourselves that originally experienced some trauma.

There are so many small things that happen as we're growing up that leave their wounds.

And then as adult events happen and we don't even know why we're hurting sometimes.

But the hurts that we experience in our adult life may well have its roots in things we will never remember and we don't need to remember.

But by bringing kindness to the experience right now,

We can bring healing.

So continuing to sit with yourself in this way,

Your hands resting on your body,

Breathing in to the sensations in your body connected with the difficult emotion,

Creating space around them,

Allowing them to grow if they need to,

And speaking to yourself with kindness,

Letting yourself know I'm here,

I'm with you,

And I love you.

I know it hurts.

I know this emotion is difficult to bear,

But it's okay.

I'm here.

We'll sit for a few minutes like this.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And if the emotion starts to shift or change or release,

Then simply staying in that place of being present and knowing that now a new emotion is here,

Maybe one more connected with a sense of being at ease.

But if the difficult emotion remains,

Then you continue to bring this same attitude of kindness to it,

Letting yourself know I'm here,

I'm with you,

And I love you.

I know it hurts.

I know this emotion is difficult to bear,

But it's okay.

I'm here.

Seeing what happens as you breathe into the sensations in your body connected with this difficult emotion,

Noticing if these sensations change,

Whether they grow or shrink away,

Remembering it's not about having a successful meditation by eradicating these sensations.

It may be that they shrink and dissolve and disappear,

Or it may be that they come to the surface and it takes time to then really hold them.

And you may need to return to this practice a few times.

You're allowing them to be as they are and being the kind witness,

Allowing your breath to continue,

Steady,

Deep,

Long,

Slow,

Deep breaths,

Feeling the kindness of your touch.

And of course,

If your arms get tired,

Letting them rest back down again,

You're allowing them to be as they are and being the kind witness,

Allowing your breath to continue,

Steady,

Deep,

Long,

Slow,

Deep breaths,

Feeling the kindness of your touch.

And of course,

If your arms get tired,

Letting them rest back down again,

You're allowing them to be as they are and being the kind witness,

Allowing your breath to continue,

Steady,

Deep,

Long,

Slow,

Deep breaths,

Feeling the kindness of your touch.

And of course,

If your arms get tired,

Letting them rest back down again,

You're allowing them to be as they are and being the kind witness,

Allowing your breath to continue,

Steady,

Deep,

Long,

Slow,

Deep breaths,

Feeling the kindness of your touch.

Thank you.

We're bringing the guided meditation to an end here,

But if you feel you need to continue sitting,

Then that's fine,

Continue for your own time and finishing when it feels appropriate.

If you're ready to finish now,

Feeling the weight of your body and the contact of your feet with the floor,

Noticing the sounds around you and bringing some movement into your fingers and toes.

Taking a deep breath in through your nose,

Breathing out through your mouth.

And when you're ready,

Opening your eyes.

Reviews

Loved this meditation. Feel calmer this morning and a sense of it’s all going to be ok.

Helped ease me into a moment of peace before sleep.

Thank you for your beautiful presence ⭐️this meditation helped me immensely ❤️

Very much needed. Such a peaceful, soulful, soothing voice for this compassionate self care practice 🙏🏻✨

Thank you for a wonderfully soothing guided meditation. I found it very helpful.

Wonderful, calm, peaceful and present. Thanks so much, Nick 🙏🏼 Appreciate you, brother

this one is my go-to whenever life gets tough. it is soothing and allows for me to stay with the difficult emotions without needed to try to change them. thank you 🙏💫

Thank you Nick. To be honest I had little faith this would help! But it definitely did. I realised I was trying to avoid the emotion, busying myself to not feel it. Sitting with it and doing this with you has helped me accept it and bring some peace and comfort. Sending much gratitude and blessings to you for that and for all your work you offer so feeely. Bless you.

Thank you, Nick🙏♥️ Your message of simple, direct truth, so gently delivered moved me at the core in a moment of overwhelm. Definitely bookmarking this one and looking forward to exploring your other work! Just found you here on IT🌹

Excellent

Will listen to this again. Grateful 🩷

It was a very gentle practice, done with kindness and encouraging acceptance in dealing with the pain. I found it very helpful in a moment of intense emotional and physical pain.
Thank you so much.

Wonderful, soothing meditation to help me to feel kindness around difficult emotions and towards myself. Thank you🌹

Very powerful meditation! Thank you for sharing this with us all

Excellent. Very helpful for dealing with those emotions that keep coming back and causing so much anxiety and having compassion for yourself and what you are going through. Giving yourself the love that you need.
I'm sure I will listen to this meditation many times.
Thank you 🙏♥️

Thank you Nick. I found this very helpful and it has eased feelings of sadness about ongoing illness. I will be returning to it. Your kind and gentle delivery is appreciated.

This meditation gave my emotions some relief from BPD upset. I’m very grateful to you. 💐

Just wonderful. So kind and skillful, wondering pace and voice. Very grateful; will return to this often. Thank you kindly 💕

A helpful guide for processing difficult emotions. So compassionate way to get in touch with sensations

Very effective
Kind, gentle voice

Wonderful! Thank you!