Loving Kindness - Goodwill To Yourself And Others

A guided meditation on opening your heart to self-care and a kind and generous attitude of goodwill to others. We start with ourselves, as the Buddha observed that before we can love others we must first feel love for ourselves. then we extend this feeling of love to a friend. We then expand this goodwill to a neutral person - someone we see in our daily lives but don't know well. Finally, we explore releasing anger and hatred by looking at a person we dislike and seeing how we can recognize that here too is another human being who wants to be happy.

Transcript

Settling into a comfortable posture,

Whether that's sitting or lying down.

Allowing your eyes to close.

Taking a few long,

Slow,

Deep breaths.

And then bringing your attention into the heart chakra,

This area underneath the breastbone in the centre of your chest.

Noticing how the heart chakra feels in this moment.

Sometimes it can feel open,

Warm,

Expansive.

Sometimes this area can feel contracted or cold,

Or simply numb.

The colour of the heart chakra is green.

So you may like to imagine yourself in a forest or somewhere in nature,

Connecting with this colour green.

So starting by bringing some kindness to yourself.

This can be through physical touch,

As well as an attitude of heart.

Seeing how it is to bring your hand to the top of your head and then gently running the palm down the side of your head,

Face,

Cheek,

Jaw.

Coming down to the chest in the heart chakra.

Slowly brushing down a few times,

Feeling the kindness of this touch,

This sense of gentle caressing.

You might use one or both hands.

Coming down either side of the face now with both hands.

Coming to rest with your hands on the chest.

Noticing how your body responds to this touch.

Bringing your hands to the torso,

Shoulders,

Giving yourself a hug.

Holding yourself,

Breathing into this hug.

Making the wish,

May I be free from inner and outer harm.

Free from all pain and suffering.

Free from the inner harm of self-criticism,

Judgment,

Any unhelpful mental chatter.

Free from the outer harm caused by others or by the environment.

May I be happy and peaceful.

May I be healthy and strong.

May I be able to take care of myself joyfully.

You might let your arms drop at this point or if it feels comfortable continuing to hold or stroke yourself.

Then coming back into your heart chakra.

Maybe you are visualising yourself in nature,

Surrounded by green.

Maybe you focus on the feeling of warmth in the heart chakra.

Or you notice the heart chakra feeling a bit tight or closed and you explore releasing,

Opening,

Softening here.

As you gently make the wish for yourself again.

May I be free from inner and outer harm.

Seeing yourself safe,

At ease.

May I be happy and peaceful.

May I be healthy and strong.

May I be able to take care of myself joyfully.

And from this place of well-wishing for yourself,

Turning your heart's attention to a good friend.

Choosing one friend.

Sometimes we feel conflicted around choosing one person over another.

But there'll be lots of times we do this meditation.

You can move between different friends.

If you're visualising the forest,

Inviting the friend to join you here in the forest.

Then contemplating how your friend,

Like yourself,

They simply want to be happy and well.

They want life to flow smoothly.

Making this wish for your friend.

May you be free from inner and outer harm.

May you be happy and peaceful.

May you be healthy and strong.

May you be able to take care of yourself joyfully.

And so from your heart,

Feeling this warmth for your friends.

Feeling this wish for your friend that they be happy,

Healthy,

At ease.

Feeling that wish in your heart for your friend to be happy.

Feeling that wish in your heart for your friend to be happy and healthy.

Then turning this attention of your heart to a neutral person.

So this might be a neighbour,

A work colleague,

Delivery person or a shopkeeper.

Choosing someone you don't know well.

Then recognising that this person,

Just like me,

They want to be happy and well.

They're at the centre of their own experience.

And for them I'm someone on the edge of their circle of contacts and connection.

So making a wish for this neutral person.

May you be free from inner and outer harm.

May you be happy and peaceful.

May you be healthy and strong.

May you be healthy and strong.

And may you be able to take care of yourself joyfully.

Feeling that wish in your heart for this neutral person that they be happy,

Healthy and at ease.

You might imagine them with friends,

Family.

See them smiling,

Happy.

Allowing there to be this warmth in your heart.

Visualising a golden light radiating out from your heart to this neutral person.

Wishing for them may you be happy,

Healthy and at ease.

Now turning your heart's attention to a person you find difficult.

Here we explore counteracting any tendency towards anger or hatred there may be in our life towards someone we know now or from the past.

Buddha said that hating another is like carrying a burning coal thinking to throw it at them.

So looking at the person we find difficult,

Person we know or have known where maybe their behaviour has caused some disruption or upset.

Noticing how we might be carrying a narrative about them.

A feeling of annoyance,

A feeling of being better than.

Maybe even a desire for revenge or a pleasure in seeing them struggle.

And then exploring how can I connect with this person.

Being curious,

I wonder what was going on for this person.

Something must have been going on for them to behave in the way that they did.

Were they overwhelmed,

Depressed?

Are they simply incapable of feeling others' emotions and so behaved in a cold and a callous way?

But even that is painful for them to live a life where they cut off,

Have no empathy for others.

So seeing if we can reflect a little and look at this person.

So seeing if we can reflect a little and look at this person,

Look at this person's life.

We acknowledge that their behaviour may have caused us harm or upset and so we bring metta to ourselves.

We bring goodwill,

Kindness to that feeling of suffering,

Of upset and we breathe into that.

Then we look at how do I have agency here?

How do I make a choice about how I respond rather than reacting to this person?

And what choice do I make?

So as you look at this person imagine coming into your heart and wishing them well.

Wishing that they find happiness from whatever causes them suffering.

That they experience freedom from pain.

It may be hard to do that.

Remembering this is a meditation practice,

Not a meditation perfect.

We may need to come back again and again.

Radio Me might be telling us that this person deserves it.

That this person deserves it,

That what they have done means it is okay for us to feel anger or even hatred for them.

But then noticing where does that take me?

How do I feel if I go into that narrative of anger or hatred?

Does it bring me closer to happiness and freedom?

Or is it like a cloud covering the bright luminosity of the sky?

Then coming back to your heart again and seeing is there some way I can wish for this person that they find greater happiness,

Contentment or well-being in their life?

So knowing that we may not resolve this in one meditation so we can come back to this person another time.

For now,

Making a final wish to them,

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering and experience ease.

Then expanding your heart's attention out into the world.

Allowing this energy of goodwill to expand out around you like the warmth of the sun or a beautiful golden light.

And this energy radiates out all around you to the surrounding area and out beyond into the world.

So making the wish,

May all beings be free from inner and outer harm.

May all beings be happy and peaceful.

May all beings be healthy and strong.

May all beings be able to take care of themselves joyfully.

Making that wish,

Sending it out into the world,

May all beings be healthy,

Happy and at ease.

Imagining that radiating out around the world,

Touching every living being with this kind attitude of heart.

Bringing that energy back,

Back into the room,

Back into your heart.

Finishing by giving yourself a hug,

Bringing your hands to your shoulder and the side of your ribcage.

And just feeling that sense of contact,

Breathing into it.

Giving yourself a gentle squeeze,

Dropping your hands,

Taking a few long,

Slow,

Deep breaths.

When you're ready,

Slowly opening your eyes,

Bringing the practice to a close.

Coming into your heart and wishing them well,

Wishing that they find happiness from whatever causes them suffering.

That they experience freedom from pain.

It may be hard to do that,

Remembering this is a meditation practice,

Not a meditation perfect.

We may need to come back again and again.

Radio Me might be telling us that this person deserves it,

That what they have done means it is okay for us to feel anger or even hatred for them.

But then noticing,

Where does that take me?

How do I feel if I go into that narrative of anger or hatred?

Does it bring me closer to happiness and freedom?

Or is it like a cloud covering the bright luminosity of the sky?

Then coming back to your heart again and seeing,

Is there some way I can wish for this person that they find greater happiness,

Contentment or well-being in their life?

And so knowing that we may not resolve this in one meditation,

So we can come back to this person another time.

For now,

Making a final wish to them,

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering and experience ease.

Then expanding your heart's attention out into the world,

Allowing this energy of goodwill to expand out around you,

Like the warmth of the sun or a beautiful golden light.

And this energy radiates out all around you to the surrounding area and out beyond into the world.

And so making the wish,

May all beings be free from inner and outer harm.

May all beings be happy and peaceful.

May all beings be healthy and strong.

May all beings be able to take care of themselves joyfully.

Making that wish,

Sending it out into the world,

May all beings be healthy,

Happy and at ease.

Imagining that radiating out around the world,

Touching every living being with this kind attitude of heart.

Bringing that energy back,

Back into the room,

Back into your heart.

Finishing by giving yourself a hug.

Bringing your hands to your shoulder and the side of your ribcage.

And just feeling that sense of contact,

Breathing into it.

Giving yourself a gentle squeeze.

Dropping your hands.

Taking a few long,

Slow,

Deep breaths.

When you're ready,

Slowly opening your eyes,

Bringing the practice to a close.

Reviews

Thank you Nick from all the Weebles and some guests! So glad to have you with us.

This helped with negative internal dialogue I had today - very helpful. I plan to listen to this often. Thank you.