Right Intention And The Five Hindrances

This Dharma talk was recorded at The Barn. It explores the spirit we need to bring to our practice or the aspect of Right Intention on the Noble Eightfold path- this talk also explores the five hindrances; how they show up in daily life and how we can meet and work with them. This talk was given to experienced practitioners but no prior knowledge is needed to enjoy this talk.

Please note: This track was recorded live and may contain background noises.

Transcript

And I've heard that you're all experienced practitioners.

And this is the beginning of a 10-day retreat.

So I'm assuming most of you have heard of the Noble Eightfold Path.

So I'm going to talk a little bit about that.

I thought mostly actually I'd talk about Right Intention and then we'll see if if there's time to sort of touch on the others.

But I thought Right Intention is a good place to start because we have quite a chunk of time to practice.

And tuning the intention as we begin can be really helpful.

And I'm assuming,

You know,

If you're experienced as I've been led to believe that there's already things to tap into that are going to nourish you and support you through the next 10 days.

So in Buddhism the aspect of intention is really key actually to the whole thing.

A lot of the ethics,

The intention that we bring to an action is considered foundational.

And I think more than in many other traditions of practice or spirituality,

What flows from the intention and what intention drives us is considered really important.

So I like to think of this as the first step,

Although you can start anywhere on that Noble Eightfold Path,

But I like to think of this as the first step and maybe it's also the culmination.

And the three aspects of Right Intention are letting go,

Kindness and compassion,

Or the intention to non-harm.

So letting go,

Kindness and compassion.

For me,

You know,

I haven't heard this in in other Buddhist teachings,

But I like to think of this attitude like combined as an attitude of generosity.

Because for me that's kind of the ingredients of generosity,

You know,

The ability to let go of something,

Whether it's time or energy or material resource,

With the intention that someone else or ourself will benefit.

So for me,

I like to think of this as like a generous spirit.

And that might not work for some of you because I think in our culture we tend to think of generosity as like I lose,

You win,

Or you win,

I lose.

It's like a zero-sum game and,

You know,

If I give you something,

I lose something,

Or if you give me something,

You know,

You're losing out.

And it's kind of like this image of maybe a donkey carrying a heavy load and like sweating in the sun,

Delivering goods for other people to enjoy.

But you know,

The donkey itself isn't really enjoying itself.

And so I think there tends to be a reaction against generosity because it's so closely associated with this like real hard work and like giving to others at the expense of ourself.

But I'd like to suggest a different image for generosity,

One that's not a zero-sum game,

One where it's I benefit,

You benefit,

You know.

And I think this is much more the spirit of Buddhist practice.

So rather than the donkey under a heavy load benefiting everyone else,

I like to think of it as like a tree.

And as the tree grows and nourishes itself,

It produces this shade that people can come and sit under and enjoy.

The tree isn't losing anything,

But others are benefiting from how the tree is benefiting itself.

And as the tree produces its flowers or its fruit,

And also other people can come and enjoy that.

And again,

The tree doesn't lose anything like that.

So you know,

For me this generous spirit as articulated by Buddhism is like that.

It's like finding how to feed and nourish ourself and you know,

Grow our own beauty and freshness.

You know,

And when that's there,

Many other people can come and benefit.

We don't need to do anything special.

Generosity can be fed by gratitude.

Although again,

This isn't necessarily explicitly a Buddhist idea.

But coming to this idea of a generous spirit and how we bring that in,

You know,

First of all,

Probably for most of us,

We have neglected the generosity towards ourself.

And so maybe that's the place that we begin.

It's just finding how to to come,

Whatever storm is in us,

Begin to to offer ourself what is needed moment to moment.

Just as the tree needs to draw water and and sun to be fresh,

To have leaves with shade and flowers and fruits.

It's like what actually do we need to feed ourself?

And maybe if you've kind of committed 10 days to this,

You already have a sense that there's something in these practices that is feeding on a very deep level.

Not necessarily the superficial level of bubble baths and incense that,

You know,

Maybe Instagram tells us is self-care,

But something on a deeper level of how we can nourish ourself.

And in Mahayana Buddhism,

This is kind of articulated as bodhicitta.

I don't know if some of you are familiar with this term bodhicitta.

So bodhicitta is the mind of love.

It's the mind of the bodhisattva,

The being on the path to enlightenment.

And really it also encapsulates this generous spirit.

The mind of love is first of all seeking our own awakening,

Our own highest benefit through the path of practice.

It's like how can we first of all relieve our own suffering?

And we do that of course for ourself,

But also with this intention that many others can also benefit and enjoy that presence that we we're trying to bring into the world.

To whatever degree we can do that.

It doesn't have to be perfect.

I was thinking when I first started practicing,

You know,

The world seemed like quite a dark place to me.

And one of the things that kind of drew me in was this feeling that there was something good in Buddhist practice,

Something wholesome.

And even I met a few quite remarkable practitioners who kind of gave me the sense that something different was unfolding here.

That they were living in a way where it didn't seem like this like harsh self-seeking attitude was present.

That I kind of probably was projecting out into the world.

And I think this is,

You know,

The first gift of this generous spirit.

It's not that we necessarily do anything else,

But we've become a kind of oasis where something different is unfolding.

As much as we can call our own anxiety,

Ill will,

Hatred,

As much as we can calm that kind of grasping mind that's always kind of seeking and consuming,

It's like we become something very precious.

You know,

Just through that absence.

And again it's not through particular action,

It's just by our being.

You know,

Maybe you have someone in your life or you've met someone who you kind of get that sense from.

Just being around them is refreshing.

You know,

They have a joy or a lightness or a kindness that kind of permeates out.

You know,

And maybe they do say particular things or do particular things,

But it's not effortful,

If you know what I mean.

It's a very natural outflowing of that heart,

Of that intention,

And what's been cultivated through that intention.

So this is what we come to,

And first of all we offer these things to ourself.

This kindness,

This intention,

You know,

To reduce the harm that we're experiencing on a moment-to-moment basis and perhaps begin to let go of some of the the things that are actually painful,

That are causing us harm.

And maybe it's easier to do this if we have a sense of tapping into some abundance or wellness or delight.

And so this is what we kind of draw on in our practice.

You know,

We tap into a stability or we tap into a simplicity,

A moment-to-moment simplicity,

Letting go of all the things that we've been chasing just to arrive here and now and be with what is in a kindly way.

Our practice can help us touch into this sense of wellness and from that place flows that more kindness.

It's kind of like priming the pump,

You know,

We add a little bit and then more seems to come out.

So,

You know,

We call on the basic practices,

I'm sure you all know but I'm going to remind you,

You know,

Just like feeling our feet on the earth,

You know,

Resting in the simplicity,

The pleasure of those sensations,

Of the,

You know,

The enjoyable feeling of something under our hands or drinking some water,

Maybe leaning into the warmth of our cup of tea or the blueness of the sky,

The sound of the rain outside our window.

All these simple things,

Moment to moment,

That are kind of good and we can tap into those things and just allow ourselves to receive that goodness.

You know,

I think this is the,

You know,

The most basic thing of mindfulness.

Maybe some of you have experimented with some kind of gratitude practice like keeping a gratitude journal or,

You know,

Reminding yourself of some things that you're grateful for and this is another way of using our attention,

Of consciously attending to a particular aspect of our experience and allowing that to shift something of the felt sense.

And we can also do this moment to moment,

You know,

If we feel anxious just allowing ourself to tap into the sense that right now everything's okay,

Attending to the peacefulness around us or a simple bodily sensation.

It's just beginning to let ourself receive what's here,

What can nourish us and fill us.

There's not really gratitude practices explicitly,

I would say,

Or the word,

I don't often hear the word gratitude in Buddhism.

There is often encouragement to reflect on what's not wrong,

You know,

What's not wrong,

What's actually okay in this moment.

I want to tap into something else which kind of we'll feed back in later.

You know,

Coming back to this idea of intention,

You know,

What is actually bringing us and motivating us to practice?

When the Buddha set out on his journey,

The kind of apocryphal story is that it was the the sight of old age,

Sickness,

Death that kind of gave him the drive to want to seek and answer a way out.

I would say that kind of holds true from my experience as a teacher seeing people come through,

You know,

Usually people who come to practice with real energy for it,

You know,

Because lots of people come casually to practice,

To experiment,

But when there's an energy for practice it often does come from bereavement,

From some sickness,

You know,

Burnout,

Depression,

Anxiety.

I think these are kind of modern drivers that push people to practice,

But these old truths also,

You know,

Ring true still.

And there's an invitation in many Buddhist traditions to reflect on these things regularly,

You know,

Because they provide a bit of urgency,

You know,

What are we actually using our time for,

What do we want to use this time for?

You know,

Life is precious and brief and 10 days on retreat is also even more precious and brief.

So how can we actually use this time to not just have a holiday,

Which is wonderful,

You know,

Just giving ourselves space to rest in a beautiful place is already beautiful,

But actually going a step beyond that to begin to cultivate something that can endure beyond these 10 days.

So bringing to mind that we are of the nature to get sick,

That we can't escape this,

You know,

We don't know when that's going to come.

I seem to see so many people coming through with chronic fatigue or long COVID,

And we know that many other sicknesses can come up,

And when we're really alert to that,

You know,

Hopefully to not the extent that we're kind of anxious and worrying about it,

But if we're really alert to that,

Then we can tap into this gratitude for this healthy body or partially healthy body to whatever extent,

You know,

It's enough for us to be here at least.

So can we really appreciate that condition and have that intention to use it?

I'm of the nature to grow old,

I cannot escape old age.

You know,

An old age is of necessity,

An invitation to letting go,

You know,

Slowly we lose aspects of functioning that we used to have,

And we're invited to do that gracefully.

You know,

Probably however old you are,

You're kind of feeling old.

I think this is a universal thing,

You know,

And you know,

Again,

It's kind of beautiful being in a mixed-age community because I always find there's someone 10 years or more older who's telling you,

No,

You're so young,

You know,

There's so much time,

And you know,

Can we feel the freshness of whatever youth is remaining,

You know,

And again,

We're all here,

We're not in an old people's home,

You know,

So we have energy,

Life functioning still available to us,

And can we really feel the gratitude,

The benefit of that,

Set that intention to use it?

These are practices called the five remembrances,

And the third one's I'm of the nature to die,

I cannot escape death,

And again,

I think many spiritual traditions invite this reflection as a matter of urgency,

That we kind of usually move through life a bit casually,

And we're in a culture where like we kind of expect,

You know,

80 or 90 years,

And we,

You know,

Expect to be in good health,

And actually touching something of the fragility of life,

That this isn't for granted,

That we can't expect this,

You know,

We don't know how much time we have,

And if we live in this way,

I think Christianity and Buddhism also,

They invite,

You know,

In some traditions this reflection,

Like when we wake up,

You know,

Well,

This might be my last day,

You know,

How do I want to live it?

You know,

Living a day as if it's our last day,

I think the quality we bring to that day is very different than seeing it as another day to get through in a long,

Boring life,

Or whatever,

You know,

Sometimes these attitudes come up,

And,

You know,

These practices,

These reflections are not there to scare us,

But they're there to give us a bit of zest,

You know,

Urgency,

Intentionality.

The fourth reflection is everything I hold dear is of the nature to change and be lost.

I cannot escape their passing,

And I think this is really a call for those attitudes of letting go,

But also kindness and compassion,

You know,

When we feel that everything will be lost,

You know,

Not only our material possessions,

But the people we hold dear,

You know,

As I spoke with Ajan even,

The functioning of our own body,

It changes how we relate to things,

The less important stuff,

You know,

When we're just aware,

You know,

This phone's gonna break,

My computer's gonna one day die on me,

You know,

We can kind of let go,

Let go around it.

Probably for me,

My computer is like my most precious possession,

I can feel that,

It's like the thing I'm most attached to,

But I've lost computers in the past,

You know,

They've suddenly died,

And all the important files I had on them,

You know,

After a month or two,

I don't even remember what they were.

It's like there's things like that,

That,

You know,

They seem really important in the moment,

But then as time goes on,

They're not,

And holding that awareness can save us a lot of unnecessary suffering in the moment.

I heard one teacher sort of describe it as like,

You know,

It's like you lose your sunglasses on the beach,

You know,

And if,

You know,

There's some cheap plastic ones you bought on the day,

You know,

Two crabs or something,

You know,

You think,

Oh I hope some kid finds them and enjoys them,

But if they're your like ray-bans with sentimental value,

Then it's like you're running up and down the beach looking for them,

And like fuming about it on the way home.

But holding the,

Just this awareness,

Like,

You know,

Actually everything's gonna move through,

You know,

The less important stuff is like maybe we can speed up that letting go,

So it doesn't kind of get in the way so much of our well-being.

And bringing this preciousness to the things that actually matter,

You know,

Our loved ones,

You know,

Actually this can deepen the kindness and relationship when we see that this person might not always be here,

You know,

How do I want to speak to them,

How do I want to say goodbye as I leave the house,

You know,

That awareness can actually open us up to a deeper lovingness for what's here,

Because we're not taking it for granted,

You know,

We haven't got this attitude of okay,

I can like stew in my anger for a week because they'll put up with it and,

You know,

They're gonna be here,

You know,

Actually feeling that every moment is precious and that every moment can be a dance of deepening joy and kindness.

Now this again is the invitation in this reflection to see what really matters,

Let go of the stuff that doesn't and hold tenderly the stuff that does.

And the final reflection is that my actions are my one true inheritance,

I can't escape the consequences of my actions,

And this is kind of a almost counterbalance in what I was saying about the intention being primary,

Because actually people don't experience us through our intentions,

They experience us through our actions,

What we do,

What we say,

To some extent,

I mean to a great extent actually,

Our intentions shine through because they're the attitudes which animate us and people are sensitive to that,

You know,

You can see by the expression on someone's face or their body language,

You know,

A bit of what's going on depending on how attuned you are.

So how are we speaking,

How are we moving through the world,

Can we again hold this as something precious,

Something that shouldn't be taken lightly,

You know,

The words we speak,

The things we do,

They are of great value.

I think Rumi says something like,

A single word spoken in kindness has the capacity to free a heart,

It's like at the right moment just offering that kind word or even that kind glance to someone who needs it,

You know,

It can be incredibly precious,

And we're holding this preciousness around these things.

I wanted to weave in another teaching to this aspect of right intention or cultivating a sense of gratitude,

Bringing in,

You know,

This teaching of the five hindrances,

Which again I'm sure that many of you are quite familiar with,

And seeing this as perhaps a daily life practice for gratitude,

Because it's actually presented as a practice for feeling grateful when these hindrances are not present within us.

I think it's helpful to bring this aspect in because often our gratitude is focused on material conditions,

Like I definitely notice that when I do gratitude practice,

It's like,

Oh I've eaten nice things,

I have a nice place to live,

You know,

I'm safe,

I have family,

It's like I'm focused on very much external things,

And this practice of the five hindrances is actually asking us to reflect on gratitude for inner conditions,

Which I think is really helpful,

And again creates this freedom of not needing these outside things for us to actually tap into this well-being,

And when we know our well-being isn't dependent on them,

There can be that letting go,

That softening,

Or that of the grasping for things outside ourself.

So the first hindrance is desire.

I'm going to update the metaphors for this to a modern one,

But it's said that being in caught in desire is like being in debt.

I don't know if any of you have ever been in a lot of debt,

So like,

You know,

Most of your paychecks going off to pay bills and mortgages and loans,

You know,

Maybe you're eating like Tesco basic pasta or pot noodle,

You know,

Back to student days when you had very little money,

You know,

It's like,

You know,

Everything you're doing is going into paying off this debt that you've accumulated,

And maybe it's a credit card debt or something that you know is just like a year of this,

A year of like this not going out,

Not doing anything,

You know,

The worst food,

Just sitting indoors watching TV,

You know,

Every evening,

Or you know,

Whatever it is that's the hardship for you,

You know,

And maybe even adding on greater stress,

Feeling like,

Oh,

There's a debt collector that's going to come knocking on the door one day.

You know,

Being caught in desire is described as like living in debt,

You know,

And we can kind of see this if,

You know,

We're sitting in meditation and we're enjoying ourself,

But then all of a sudden it's like we're feeling hungry,

We start thinking of like scrambled eggs on toast,

You know,

Whatever we're going to have when we get upstairs,

And then all of a sudden it's like we're not going to be happy until we get that,

You know,

Just like when we're in debt,

It's like we're only going to be happy,

We're only going to start living again when the debt's paid off and we have a bit more space to breathe.

So living with,

You know,

These strong desires or even medium desires is said to be like,

You know,

A self-imposed debt.

It's like we've decided I'm only going to be happy when this happens.

And we can do this in all kinds of big ways,

Like I'll only be happy when this stressful period of work's done.

You know,

Everything in our being is kind of orientated to just getting through life until this point,

You know.

For some of us we can be really fixed on acquiring some kind of material thing,

Whether it's like a house or a car,

It's just everything's going into that.

It's like very future orientated.

But even more,

More subtly,

You know,

We might notice,

For example,

In the work period in the morning,

You know,

We've decided that toilets is a write-off,

You know,

I'm only going to be happy when I get this done as quickly as possible and I can go and have a cup of tea,

You know.

It's like we're kind of losing huge chunks of our life because we've set these conditions,

You know,

We've become caught in desire for a certain thing to happen before we can feel easeful,

Feel restful,

Feel happy,

Feel some well-being.

And we want to just watch for that and just feel the unpleasantness of being locked into that thing,

Of having to pay off,

Having to meet a condition before we can,

You know,

Whatever it is,

Rest,

Enjoy life,

Touch joy.

And we can also notice this as a gratitude practice,

Like when are we actually free from self-imposed conditions?

When are we free from needing anything else,

From desiring anything else?

When are we actually touching into this place of not needing anything else,

You know,

And experiencing the goodness of that,

The freedom in that,

Becoming aware of that and multiplying the goodness by that awareness and by touching in the joy that this is present.

The second hindrance is aversion or ill will.

And this is described as being sick with like a fever,

You know,

Slightly delirious,

Like sweating and tossing and turning in bed.

I think that kind of encapsulates anger quite well actually.

It's like,

You know,

Steaming and just completely like restless and agitated in ourselves.

And even,

You know,

More mild forms of irritation or judgment,

They're experienced as kind of like tension and turning away in the body and it's unpleasant.

It is like having a,

You know,

Kind of mild sickness.

We're usually not aware of the physical pain because we're so focused on the outside condition,

You know,

This person did this or they said this.

And so we become blind to the actual impact of carrying that on ourself.

But again,

Can we be mindful of when we're caught in some kind of irritation,

Aversion,

Not liking and feel the unpleasantness in our body?

And can we be mindful when we're free from that?

When we're actually not irritated,

Not aversive,

Just content and feel,

Oh,

The loveliness of that,

The loveliness of being free,

Free from the ill will.

The third hindrance is restlessness or remorse.

And this one's described as being like a slave to someone else,

Someone else's beck and call.

I think in modern times we could say it's like,

You know,

Being a server in a busy restaurant or a bar or something where like,

You know,

Constantly everyone's kind of trying to grab your attention and there's five million things to do and we're kind of,

You know,

Trying to juggle all those pieces and we're not really our own master.

We're always,

You know,

In every moment at the call of someone else's needs.

And we can see that perhaps in ourself,

You know,

That restless tendency.

Is it possible to just sit peacefully or is there always something kind of driving us to get up and do,

You know,

To find a project,

To find something to read,

Find,

You know,

Is there anything I can help with?

Can I,

You know,

What is that coming from?

You know,

Sometimes that energy of wanting to help,

Wanting to to offer can come from a good place,

But sometimes it can actually just come from our own restlessness,

Our own inability to just sit and be peaceful,

Content in our own experience.

And so again,

Just noticing that,

Noticing when we're free from having to like run around and even in our sitting practice when we have maybe a brief moment of just feeling content,

Not feeling agitated and distracted,

We can just sit peacefully,

Allowing ourself to receive that and enjoy that.

Sleepiness is described as being in prison,

You know,

When our energy is so low,

We can't do anything.

It's like being in a small prison cell.

There's nothing to do,

We just sleep.

I think there's some merit in that on the first few days of retreat.

We may have been going quite fast,

So it's good to give space for the body to rest,

It probably needs it.

But when we were practicing perhaps in our formal meditation and that drowsiness is there persistently,

It's like life isn't really happening,

You know,

It's just we're kind of clocking out.

And so again,

Just feeling some gratitude for when there is like an alertness or freshness in our energy,

Even as we're moving around,

When we can actually just be present and receive things,

When we're not kind of deadened by the tiredness of our life,

Allowing ourself to notice,

Enjoy that.

And the final hindrance is doubt.

It's like not being sure of our direction,

What we need to do.

And to give a modern image,

It's like being lost in a dangerous neighborhood,

You know,

We're kind of not quite sure about these people hanging around or where to go.

Maybe we've lost our phones,

So we're just kind of like trying to find the way out,

Back to the train station,

Back to a bus stop.

You know,

The anxiety of that.

My teacher used to say there's,

You know,

The greatest happiness is just knowing that we have a path to walk on.

You know,

And to whatever extent you have confidence in,

In your practice,

In the path of mindfulness,

It's just feeling the goodness of that.

It's like maybe we're not there yet,

You know,

But we know which way to go.

You know,

We have some teaching,

Some sense of direction,

Of something that might help,

You know,

And being lost without any hope is a great suffering.

And that often leads to despair.

So if you do have a sense of knowing the path you need to walk,

You know,

Delighting in that.

So maybe these reflections can nourish a sense of gratitude for whatever well-being is present,

And encourage us on this awakening of the heart to this bodhicitta or this white intention,

This ability to let go,

To touch into kindness and compassion.

And then from there we kind of move through the path to right action,

Right speech,

Right action,

Right livelihood.

It's like beginning to let that attitude of the heart flow outwards through kind words,

Kind actions,

By taking a livelihood that can actually not only benefit ourself but other people too.

And it becomes like an upward cycle,

It's like the goodness of our heart flows out,

And seeing the goodness that we are able to bring into the world also gives us encouragement,

A sense of well-being that leads to more good actions.

It's probably an undervalued part of Buddhist practice.

It's interestingly a part that wasn't really translated over to secular mindfulness.

But what we do is important.

Like I was saying earlier,

It's like the things that we do inform how others see us,

But they also inform how we see ourselves.

So holding ourself to some kind of ethical standards can be really important for actually giving us a sense of integrity and confidence in ourself,

That you know this is the bare minimum,

Not by accident but because I've decided.

And it doesn't have to be the five Buddhist precepts if you're not so sold on Buddhism,

But it's like what are the values that are important for you?

What is your minimum sort of conduct that you want to live in this world?

And if we know that clearly and we've committed to it clearly,

Rather than it being incidental,

It's like when the choice comes and when the temptation is there,

It's like we have something to guide us.

And we feel like there's something we're not going to fall below.

And if we do,

We can make amends for that and begin again.

This is also considered really key,

This whole piece.

It is a fruit of our meditation practice,

But it's also something that can help our meditation practice go deeper.

And one of the benefits is said to be a reduction in anxiety.

This is something the Buddha says,

That we can go in front of people,

Even people who are superior to us in status or wealth or looks,

And feel good about ourselves,

Feel confident in ourselves,

Because we kind of know,

You know,

I am a person of integrity.

I haven't killed anyone,

At least,

You know,

Haven't stolen anything.

And seeing that as not just a default,

An expectation,

But something good that we are bringing into the world that people,

At least to that extent,

Can feel safe around us.

It's considered something quite powerful,

Moving into the the area of meditation,

Which is probably more what's drawn us here.

The first piece of this is right effort,

Which isn't at first what it seems.

You know,

We might think of bringing that balanced effort,

Not striving too much and not,

You know,

Completely turning into a blog,

But actually bringing some sense of integrity and purpose to what we're doing.

But actually,

Right effort is cultivating wholesome states of mind,

Maintaining those wholesome states of mind,

Recognizing and tending to the unwholesome states when they arise to help soothe them.

And if they haven't arisen,

Making sure they don't arise.

So let's just have a look at that,

Like,

You know,

With making sure that unwholesome states don't arise,

It's like we want to protect ourselves.

We want to make sure that we don't water the seeds of anxiety,

Depression,

Anger.

Most of us live in a way that we do often water these seeds,

Even if we know we are doing it,

You know,

We like to watch the news in the evening or,

You know,

Read the newspaper in the morning and even if that brings up a lot of unwholesome states,

You know,

We still do it.

The retreat's quite a precious time to step away from not only news but,

You know,

Social media,

Even some of the nice connections with family and friends,

Just so that we can let everything settle,

That we're not bringing up any new states.

But,

You know,

This practice around,

You know,

Being mindful,

What are we actually taking in from the outside world?

What are we taking in?

And is there some way that we can not only choose,

Like,

Good food for our body but good food for our mind?

You know,

That we can take in things that actually nourish hope,

Joy,

A sense of contentment rather than,

You know,

Images,

Words,

Stories that probably stir up discontent,

Agitation.

This is quite important,

It's again not something that's kind of traveled over to secular mindfulness,

But it's like,

How do we actually guard ourselves to protect ourselves from things that might stimulate difficult emotions when they do arise?

Because they will arise,

You know,

No matter how careful we are,

And we're not bringing aversion to avoiding them at all costs.

But when they do arise,

Can we tend to them in a skillful way?

You maybe already have a sense of what helps you meet difficult emotions,

You know,

Maybe it's just stabilizing your attention on your breath or on your footsteps.

You know,

Often if I'm quite agitated,

I find going for a walk in nature and just allowing myself to receive that quite helpful.

Maybe it's naming the feeling.

It's already quite powerful just to say,

Oh,

Okay,

Anxiety's here.

I see you,

You know,

I see you.

And maybe we can also begin to bring some tenderness to what's here.

So it's not just this hot,

Painful thing,

Uncomfortable thing,

Whatever it is,

But it's also being held in something,

Whether that's mindfulness,

Whether that's an attitude of just allowing that to be there without all the kind of tensing around it.

Maybe we can also begin to bring some gentleness,

Some kindness to the places that hurt,

That are painful.

So when loneliness comes,

Maybe,

Or anxiety or despair,

We actually offer some soothing,

Some tenderness to ourself.

Maybe we can think,

When we're a small child,

What are the words and gestures that we long to receive?

Maybe the soothing hand or just the word that's going to be okay.

This will pass.

We're offering ourselves that gentleness.

We're offering those hurt places within us as they arise,

That gentleness.

So in modern terms,

It's like we're wiring these new connections.

So when those feelings arise,

They don't just light up loneliness,

But they also connect to our practice,

To mindfulness,

To allowing,

To gentleness.

So there's co-arising as we get stronger in our practice.

What we'll find is,

At first it's quite difficult to bring that allowing or the tenderness to those places,

But over time,

As those things arise,

It's just very natural to bring that gentleness to them.

And the experience of,

Let's say,

Loneliness,

It's very different when it's held in that container of kindness.

Even these things can actually transform into something quite pleasant in the moment,

Because kindness is pleasant,

Compassion is pleasant.

It's a beautiful state to be in.

And even if the loneliness is still there,

There's something else holding that like a kind of warm bath.

And we also want to see if we can generate wholesome states of mind.

Again,

This kind of,

I think,

Seems more like efforting than pure mindfulness.

But a lot of Buddhist practice is around this,

It's around consciously generating wholesome states of mind.

So can we,

You know,

Tap into a state of mindfulness,

For example?

Can we generate a feeling of loving kindness?

Can we lean into a sense of enjoyment?

You know,

Just as we move through our day,

Just taking a moment to linger on a beautiful flower or a candle flame,

It's just beginning to tap into these states,

States of mind.

There's lovely catchphrases from modern neuroscience,

Which is like,

States lead to traits.

So it's like,

The more we can generate states of mind,

The more they become like traits of our character,

Of our personality.

Because it's like we're wearing them deep,

The more we do them.

So at first,

Like,

You know,

These things,

You know,

They can be a struggle.

You know,

There's probably other traits that are very strong that make it quite difficult to bring them in.

But we're just patiently,

You know,

If we can generate in a moment,

You know,

A moment of mindfulness,

Maybe just one in a half an hour sit,

But it's enough.

We're beginning to weave in a new direction.

It also says,

Like,

Maintaining them for for as long as we can,

But I would recommend,

Like,

Not trying to,

Like,

Hold on to these things too tightly,

Because it's actually counterproductive.

For me personally,

I like to see it as like a practice of just touching in,

But a lot,

You know,

Don't need to work too hard to hold on to it,

But just again and again and again,

Just tapping in.

Can I just be mindful for a moment?

Can I just feel one or two steps as I walk up to the garden,

Or just notice the birdsongs for a moment?

I'm just,

Like,

Slowly collecting these little moments of mindfulness,

Or these little moments of enjoyment,

These little moments of kindness,

You know,

And slowly they kind of accumulate an energy or a momentum.

You can kind of see,

Like,

You know,

If you have a little slight incline,

You know,

If you put one or two drops,

It's like,

You know,

They'll slowly trickle down,

They'll stop,

You know,

They'll trickle down.

But if we keep putting drops and drops and drops,

You know,

It's like slowly they kind of come together and coalesce and,

Like,

Gather an energy.

And it's like that in our practice too.

It's like we don't need to jump to this point of,

You know,

Holding on to mindfulness in every moment,

But it's just trusting the drops will do their own work if we keep collecting them.

We have right mindfulness,

And just to weave this into the right effort,

This states lead to traits,

I think this is very close to to the Buddhist vision of practice.

States lead to traits.

We can't afford to be caught in the idea that if we sit here and struggle and,

Like,

Fight ourselves for half an hour,

And we do that every day,

We're eventually going to get a different result.

You know,

It doesn't work like that.

I don't mean that to be depressing or discouraging,

But what I mean is,

Like,

We need to be sure that we're practicing the right thing.

Sitting in a certain posture,

Focusing on the breath,

You know,

In themselves,

They're not going to get us anywhere.

We actually need to begin to tap into a particular state,

A state that we're trying to cultivate and develop.

Maybe from most of us,

Most basically is mindfulness.

The good thing about mindfulness is that you can't really do it wrong.

Even if you've been sitting for half an hour completely lost in thought,

Just the moment when the bell goes and you realize,

Oh,

I haven't been mindful at all,

That's the moment of mindfulness.

So,

Good news.

It's like we got one in.

And mindfulness is a little bit like light in the sense that it's not always bright,

But sometimes it can be quite diffuse.

And the quality of our mindfulness can vary.

Sometimes it can be,

You know,

Just like a very vague light,

You know,

Like when the,

You know,

The very dusky part of the evening,

Where you can still just about see,

But not really.

But it can also grow to the brightness of day.

And to whatever extent we can see what's going on in this moment,

Mindfulness is present.

You know,

The quality of mindfulness can vary,

But we can feel confident if we're aware of a sensation in the body when being mindful.

If we're aware that we're not mindful,

We're being mindful.

You know,

We can only be aware that we're not mindful if there's some mindfulness present.

You know,

So even if it feels like the mind is very foggy or very distracted,

You know,

If we know that,

Then there's mindfulness here and we're cultivating the right thing,

We can have confidence in the practice that we're doing.

And there's also all these supportive states.

I don't want to bring in too many teachings,

But,

You know,

Factors of awakening,

Things that are present in the awakened mind.

We could say attendant qualities that support our mindfulness,

Or that come to being through mindfulness practice.

If we were just patient with that,

Mindfulness will show us the way by itself because we're naturally inclined to balance.

But can we invite in these qualities of ease?

You know,

That's a supportive quality.

So accumulating more and more attention in our practice won't lead us to ease.

You know,

Actually inviting ease in the moment leads to ease.

Can we practice letting go?

Just a softening,

Even a softening around trying to control our outcomes of our practice.

I will talk about concentration in a minute,

But the other factors that are helpful are this joyful effort,

This sense that this is something worthwhile,

Something beneficial,

Not only for me but for others,

And joy.

You know,

It's amazing to me when I started reading the Buddha Sutras how much joy is spoken of.

Joy is really important.

So how can we begin to just lean into things that are good,

That are pleasurable?

It seems counterintuitive because we're,

You know,

Often talking about this like letting go of desire and aversion,

But actually there's a place for spiritual joy and joy lightly held,

Just receiving what is good,

Allowing ourself to experience it without kind of getting stuck in it.

So finding things that feel enjoyable in our practice,

That feel good,

Supportive,

And the final quality is curiosity.

We could say investigation,

But I like to think of it as curiosity,

Just getting interested,

You know,

In the madness as it unfolds.

You know,

Maybe it is all like,

You know,

This giant suffering thing and,

You know,

It's bringing this kind of like,

Oh,

You know,

Wow,

You know,

This is happening,

And you know,

Kind of having this attitude of like,

No big deal,

You know,

I don't need to get so hung up on this.

Can I just actually get interested,

Curious about what's unfolding moment to moment?

The next factor of the path is often called right concentration,

But I like to think of it,

Well I think a better translation is right composure,

Because it doesn't have,

For me concentration has this like,

Focus aspect,

Like mental,

I'm excluding distractions and just focusing,

Whereas actually the imagery much more points to like this gathering in,

It's like bringing in all the disparate parts of ourself and beginning to massage them into some kind of unified whole.

So our practice isn't so much about,

You know,

Shutting out the thoughts,

Like grabbing our attention back to our breath,

But just gently like massaging it all in,

Like breathe into it all,

You know,

Recognizing the wandering mind,

The aches and pains,

And just beginning to gather it all in,

Weave it all in to this moment again and again.

So I'm coming to the end and I didn't get to talk about wisdom,

So you know,

You'll have to ask,

I don't know if you have another talk or a Q&A,

But you know,

You'll have to share the wisdom amongst yourself,

But you know,

Maybe just briefly it's like impermanence,

Non-self,

And the four noble truths of suffering and the end of suffering.

But you are,

I guess,

Or at least some of you are,

Well seasoned in the practice to some extent,

So actually just using this time together to learn from each other,

To share the Dharma,

To share your experiences of practice,

And that's I think where most growth and insight comes from.

So maybe we've got time for one question if there's any burning questions or reflections.

Shall we sit quietly?

I suppose of some benefit for you,

And have a lovely retreat.

I think I'll join you again at the end for a Q&A,

So that'll be nice.

Thank you.