Healing Trauma With Embodiment Practices

Learn how trauma impacts the body through the nervous system and how we can begin to heal from it with simple embodiment practices. This is a recording of a live talk on Insight Timer that Eryl delivered in November of 2021. Come back to your body through breath, self-soothing and self-compassion.

Transcript

Yeah,

As you get settled,

As you get comfortable here,

Think about making your space as cozy as possible.

Hi,

Amy.

Heartwarming love.

Can't find words.

It's a bit new for me to feel this.

Yeah,

I hear you.

Becky,

Good morning.

Had a rough night,

So you're feeling tired.

Yeah.

Thank you for sharing that.

Valeria.

I hope I'm saying that right.

Beautiful name.

I've just learned about the mind-body connection and healing trauma this month and I'm past like,

Awesome.

It's never too late to learn this stuff,

Right?

Yeah,

Continue to pop into the chat.

Let me know how you're doing.

And I was just going to say,

Try to make your space really comfortable and safe today because we're talking about tough stuff.

So think about bringing in your favorite blankets,

Your candles,

Maybe your pets.

Yeah,

Pillows,

Whatever is going to make you feel safe and comfortable,

Sweaters.

Okay,

So take a moment to grab that stuff.

You don't have it already.

And then consider just lying down or taking a seat and just listening.

You don't need to do anything in this moment.

Just be here.

So if you're just popping on,

I was just kind of giving a bit of my background.

I've got lots of talks and meditations and classes on this app and I love it because it enables me to connect with more people from around the world and to share some of the learnings that I've come to over the course of my life.

So remember that healing from trauma,

Healing from traumatic events is a nonlinear thing.

So you might feel like in this moment that you're really heavy,

You're exhausted.

Maybe it's really hard to do the simple things like make your bed or even get out of bed or shower.

Tomorrow or the next day might be completely different.

You might feel empowered to take better care of yourself.

You might feel like you're finally moving past some of this baggage.

Next day might be different,

Right?

So however you're feeling in this moment,

Whether that trauma is fresh and raw or it's something that you're kind of dealing with or working through from many,

Many years ago,

You are in the right place.

You're safe here.

I hope you feel supported and seen during our talk today.

Remember that feelings and thoughts are impermanent.

They're malleable.

They're able to change,

But who you are,

The essence of who you are in your soul remains the same.

That doesn't change.

So we have to remember that it's so easy to identify with these traumatic events and feel like we are what happened to us or what we've experienced.

And I hope that through learning about some of these practices,

You see that you are not your trauma,

You're not your pain,

And who you are remains open,

Safe,

Capable of healing with self-compassion and love.

Amy,

I'm just going to read your comment there.

I never understood the opening and closing of the trauma into my day-to-day life.

Nonlinear is such a simple,

Comforting reminder.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I think a lot that resonated with you,

Amy.

This is not just a phrase or a concept.

It's really real.

And I know that as somebody who experienced a lot of trauma growing up.

I lived in a household with severe mental illness and addiction.

I experienced sexual abuse as a child.

I won't get into any of that too much,

But I really,

Really struggled to feel safe in my body.

So I'm delivering this talk today from my own experience.

I'm not a trauma counselor.

I'm not a licensed therapist.

I am going to school to become a registered psychotherapist.

But the tools that I'm sharing with you today are coming from lived experience and from the skills that I've developed as a teacher and a coach and a wellness expert.

So anything that I'm sharing with you is coming from my heart.

It's coming from my own healing journey.

And you know,

Like to mention it again or to kind of hammer this point home.

It's not a linear journey.

Okay,

So know that wherever you're at in this moment is perfect.

Acknowledge yourself for being here.

That's all showing up,

Showing up in the face of struggle and pain and discomfort is so brave.

So you're doing that.

To give you a little bit of an idea of what we're going to talk about today,

If you didn't read the explanation of the talk,

That's okay.

We're going to be looking a little bit at how trauma affects the body.

And in order to talk about that,

We have to look at the nervous system,

Plays a vital role in how we process trauma,

How we protect ourselves,

And then how we start to move that energy out of our body so we can start to release that pain and move on with our lives,

Move forward.

It doesn't mean we ignore what happened or push it away or deny it.

We start to integrate the experience so that we are whole,

Not that we're not whole already,

But that we are able to learn from that experience,

To grow from that and just be even more of who we are.

So we're going to look at the role embodiment practices play.

They can play in helping us heal from traumatic events.

If you don't know what embodiment practices are,

It's any kind of practice that asks us and invites us to be in our body fully,

Intentionally,

In the moment.

So these practices are not a replacement for therapy or for group support or for medication or anything like that.

They are complementary practices.

And mindfulness practices are embodiment practices,

Anything that requires us to be,

Again,

In our body.

Deep breathing,

Yoga,

Meditation,

Hiking,

All of these things can be a form of an embodiment practice.

So it looks different for everybody.

Today we're going to look at grounding the body through meditation,

And then we're going to do something called self-havening.

And you don't have to worry about that right now.

We'll get to that in a few minutes,

But I just wanted to give you an idea of what you can expect.

Thank you for the love.

Yeah.

So what you need,

You don't need a journal,

You don't need a pen,

You don't need anything.

I'm going to upload the audio from this talk onto my profile on Insight Time or After.

So you can always go back to it to listen to it again if you'd like to.

Just try to be present and in your body while you're here.

Now,

Embodiment,

Like it's a great idea,

Right,

To be fully in your body and present for all of the gifts of this moment and the beauty that the world has to offer.

But when we experience a traumatic event,

The first thing we want to do subconsciously is leave the body,

Right?

Because whatever we're experiencing usually feels overwhelming,

Too much,

Unsafe,

Threatening to be in this physical moment and the body feels unsafe.

So embodiment is making a conscious decision.

It's making an effort to practice.

This is not about being perfect.

It's making an effort to practice coming back to your body.

You're no longer in that traumatic situation,

I'm hoping.

So now the work begins of training our bodies to feel safe again.

And this is,

Again,

A practice.

So don't expect to feel brand new after this talk.

If you do,

That's awesome.

But this takes time.

And if you feel like you resonate with some of these practices,

Try to incorporate them into your daily life or at least when you feel triggered.

This is a way that you can soothe yourself,

Ground yourself,

And you can do that anywhere,

Anytime naturally for free.

So this is just an amazing part of your healing toolkit.

Now we're going to look at why we struggle to be embodied.

I talked a little bit about that when we experienced trauma.

We have to learn how to sort of return home to ourselves compassionately so that we can actually heal these wounds,

The wounds that developed from that traumatic situation or events,

Whatever it is that you're here for today.

Because in order to heal these wounds,

We actually need to be present.

Right here,

Right now,

Not in the past,

Not in the future,

Here.

This is where we find our power.

And again,

That can feel scary or unsafe.

So we're going to look at ways to do this in a way that feels manageable,

And you do what you can today.

I want to go for a moment into sort of my experience.

I did tell you a little bit about if you're just joining me,

You didn't hear this,

But I grew up with a lot of addiction,

Mental illness in my family.

I experienced a lot of trauma as a child and throughout adolescence and even like early adulthood,

I really struggled with being in my body.

So I turned to substance use.

I turned to self-harm.

I did everything I could possible to not be fully in my body.

And sometimes that looked like perfectionism.

Sometimes that looked like numbing out with food,

Addiction,

Right?

And that's actually very common for people that are struggling with PTSD or the effects of trauma.

So if that resonates with you,

Know that you're not alone.

This is a natural subconscious way of keeping ourselves safe.

So we can acknowledge that this is a protective or survival instinct.

If you're dealing with behaviors or patterns that feel self-destructive or unhealthy,

It's so easy to add judgment on top of that,

Right?

To go,

Oh,

I suck.

Why can't I just stop doing this thing?

Why can't I just be like that person or be better?

Which makes the whole situation a little bit harder to deal with,

Right?

So let's add some self-compassion to that.

Whatever habits,

Behaviors,

Responses,

Reactions that you're observing in yourself in relation to trauma or your triggers,

See that with the eyes of love.

You are learning in this moment better or healthier ways for healing those wounds.

I've come a long way.

I'm not perfect.

I definitely still get triggered.

I still find it hard with intimacy.

I still find it hard when I'm feeling super anxious or I watch something on TV that's triggering for me.

I still find it hard to be in my body,

But I'm utilizing these practices to work through that.

I've got a great therapist and I'm fortunate enough to have lots of support around me,

So I'm moving through it.

And it's practice,

But if I look back on the last five years of my life,

It's incredible how far I've come.

I am spending a lot less time self-sabotaging and self-destructing and I'm spending a lot more time taking care of myself.

So I hope that gives you a little bit of hope as well.

Amy,

I just want to read your comment there.

For me,

Alcoholism,

Exercise bulimia and anorexia,

Long depressive episodes,

Workaholism,

Over-identification with success achievement.

Yeah.

Wow.

I'm so excited about that.

These are all,

They can be manifestations of trauma,

Of our response to trauma.

I also had anorexia as a teenager and identify with that for sure,

All of what you've said.

So I commend you all for sharing where you're at today because hopefully you see yourself in somebody else.

You're reminded that we're all in this together,

Right?

No one's alone in this.

Take a moment now to check in with yourself.

Okay.

We're talking about tough stuff.

This might feel upsetting.

You might feel seen,

Whatever you're feeling is okay.

It's not good or bad,

But take a moment.

Put your hand on your heart,

Close your eyes or soften them and just take a nice deep breath.

And then let that breath go through your mouth.

Let that breath go.

Relax your shoulders and just soften here.

You are safe and you are supported.

Okay.

Open your eyes when you're ready.

If it feels grounding to have your hand on your heart,

Of course you can keep it there.

You set yourself up however you need to today.

And if you need to take a break,

If you need to walk around,

If you need to eat something to ground yourself,

Do whatever you need to do,

Come back to us when you're ready.

Okay.

So let's look at the science behind trauma a little bit.

Okay.

What happens to the body when we experience a traumatic event?

Well,

We have to look at fight or flight,

Fight,

Flight,

Freeze,

The survival response in the body.

This is coming from the sympathetic nervous system.

So this is our body's natural,

Healthy response to a threat or some kind of danger.

It keeps us safe.

It keeps us protected,

Right?

Without that system,

Without that part of our nervous system,

We might stay in a life or death situation without any kind of response,

Right?

Without feeling like there's a danger there.

So our nervous system is something we can be grateful for,

Especially the sympathetic nervous system.

It keeps us safe,

Right?

So we can acknowledge that and then remind ourselves that in order to start to process those same traumatic events and start to heal from them,

We need to remind our bodies that we're safe now.

Okay.

After,

After that event has taken place,

This doesn't have to happen right after that event,

Right?

It can be years and years later.

For me,

It was like a decade later that I started to look at that trauma or more.

We just have to,

We have the ability to teach our bodies or retrain our bodies to feel safe again,

Because for me and for a lot of people,

Our nervous system gets stuck,

Gets a little bit frozen.

Our body tends to feel a little bit blocked in that traumatic situation.

So we might know intellectually that we're no longer in that situation.

Why can't our body just relax?

Why can't we just feel safe?

Why can't we connect with that person or stop drinking so much or stops,

Whatever the behavior is,

Right?

It's because our nervous system and our brain,

It hasn't caught up to the present moment.

Okay.

So that's okay.

That's natural.

You have to acknowledge that and then take our power back by starting to retrain the nervous system.

So recognizing that we're struggling to be present,

That we're struggling to be embodied is the first step.

It's the first step to healing.

Amy,

I'm going to read your comment here.

Freeze is where self-forgiveness from sexual abuse and not speaking up or taking action in the moment.

We often hear of fight or flight.

Hence,

Why didn't I fight or flee?

It's because I froze.

Yes.

Thank you so much.

And I identify with that.

My survival response,

At least growing up,

Was always to freeze.

So and that comes with a whole other storyline about why did we do more?

What about that?

Right?

There's a lot of self-judgment,

Self-loathing,

A lot of shame that comes up when we judge ourselves for how we responded to a traumatic situation.

So we did the best we could with what we had at that moment,

With the information we had,

The skills we had.

We can't judge ourselves for how we responded.

All we can do now is be here and choose to explore and practice different ways of handling trauma,

Different ways of coping with the effects of that trauma or multiple traumatic events.

Here now.

We have the power here.

So again,

I want to acknowledge you for showing up.

This is the first step,

Showing up and recognizing,

Honoring the part of you that's struggling,

Struggling to be in your body.

Okay?

We're going to come back to a sense of safety and calm in the body through the nervous system,

The same system that protected us from that dangerous situation or that traumatic event is also the system that can help us heal from it.

So the sympathetic nervous system,

Fight,

Flight,

Freeze,

I think fawn is now part of that too,

Is the self-protective part of the nervous system.

And then the parasympathetic nervous system is the body's calm,

Cool,

Relaxed response.

This is where we rest.

This is where we digest.

This is where we feel peaceful.

So we're going to work today with the parasympathetic nervous system.

We're going to work with the body's calming response.

And we can do that with embodiment practices.

We can do that by being practicing being in our bodies intentionally in the present moment with some deep breathing,

With some grounding practices where we're connecting to the healing and safe energy of the earth.

And again,

Self-heavening,

Which I'll show you or tell you all about in a minute or two.

So it's really important to honor where you're at again today.

If you feel triggered by one of these activities,

One of these exercises,

Or you feel like it's overwhelming,

You stop.

You are in charge of how fast,

How slow,

How far you go into these practices.

You do what's best for you.

And if it doesn't feel super good today,

You can always try this again at another point in time or explore other embodiment practices.

I just want you to feel empowered to start to self-heal simply and powerfully.

So we're going to start with self-heavening.

And this is a practice that I use a lot in my own life when I'm feeling triggered or I'm having flashbacks or I'm feeling really disembodied.

If I'm feeling really out of my body,

Self-heavening has allowed me to self-soothe.

It's allowed me to come back to my body in a way that feels really comforting.

And I learned this from my own therapist.

So I want to share it with you.

I'm not a licensed self-heavening practitioner or anything like that,

But this is a learned skill and it works with the yoga and meditation classes that I teach as well.

So neurologically or physiologically speaking,

Self-heavening is a practice that is self-soothing.

It actually helps us to rewire unhelpful or sort of unhealthy neural pathways in the brain that were created during those traumatic events.

And it replaces them with healthier responses and emotions.

So it's not a replacement for therapy or medication or group support.

Again,

It's a complimentary practice to all of those things.

So this does involve some self-touch.

If that is uncomfortable for you,

You can either skip this or just stay with a part of the practice that does feel good for you.

So to give you an idea of what we're doing,

We rub the hands together like you're washing your hands.

Okay,

You might get the back of your hands.

And as we do this,

We're saying out loud or silently in your mind if you're in a public space,

But try to do it out loud if you can.

Safe,

Connected,

Loved.

Safe,

Connected,

Loved.

Okay?

So you can just stay with the hands if that feels safest for you.

If you want to add onto that,

If that feels okay,

You can do opposite shoulder like you're giving yourself a hug.

Safe,

Gentle strokes,

Connected,

Loved.

Okay?

And then if it feels good too,

You can do hands or fingers on the hairline.

Safe,

Giving yourself a little facial massage,

Connected,

Loved.

Okay?

If this feels uncomfortable,

Stay with the hands or just repeat the words out loud.

Do what feels okay for you.

We are with this specific self-soothing touch,

We are activating the self-soothing sensors in the body.

It's telling the brain,

The emotional regulation center of the brain,

The amygdala,

That we are no longer in danger.

We are safe.

We're loved.

We're protected.

Okay?

I'm going to read Sinead.

I hope I'm saying that right,

Your comment,

And then we'll get into it.

My survival mechanism is to freeze too.

My life has stagnated for a decade now as a result of being stuck in this state.

I'm looking forward to learning tools to unstick myself and learn to embrace myself in my life.

Thank you for sharing that.

You are in the right place.

You start to get unstuck as we start to move that energy out of the body.

That's what we're doing today.

So let's start the self-havening practice now.

Make sure that you feel comfortable first.

So I'm on a chair today sitting up tall.

You might want to sit on the ground.

You might even want to lie down.

Whatever allows you to feel comfortable and grounded.

Okay?

Making sure you've got space around you,

That you can move and breathe easily.

So you can do this with your eyes open,

Maybe looking towards the floor,

Or you can close them depending on what feels better for you.

And just follow along with me.

Again,

Stick with the part of your body that feels good,

Or you can do it as I'm doing it.

Okay?

You're going to close or soften your eyes.

Let's just start with a deep breath.

And then an exhale.

And then let's begin.

Rubbing the hands like you're washing them.

Saying to yourself out loud or silently in your mind,

Safe,

Connected,

Loved.

See,

As you do this a few more times,

Rubbing your hands together,

Just allow your legs to be heavy so that you feel supported and rooted,

Grounded through the body here.

Safe,

Connected,

Loved.

Okay?

You can stay with the hands or go to opposite shoulder.

Give yourself a little hug.

Safe,

Gentle stroking,

Connected,

Loved.

Let your shoulders relax.

Safe,

Connected,

Loved.

If it feels good or safe,

You can bring your hands,

Your fingertips to your hairline,

Your forehead.

Same thing.

You're going to be down towards the jaw.

Safe,

Connected,

Loved.

Safe,

Connected,

Loved.

Back to the hands one more time.

Safe,

Connected,

Loved.

Relax your hands down in any position that feels comfortable.

Relax your belly and your breath.

Just observe without judgment how your mind,

Your body,

And your spirit are feeling in this moment.

When you're ready,

You can open your eyes if they were closed.

Self-havening is a practice that's used a lot in treating people with PTSD and trauma.

The more we practice this,

Especially when we're feeling triggered,

The more regulated the nervous system becomes.

The better that we're able to handle stressors,

To look at the wounds that we're holding and to start to process the pain that might be there.

I encourage you to try that on,

Especially when you're feeling kind of disconnected from yourself or unsafe.

You can try this on.

I want to start to wind down this talk with a grounding meditation now,

And then we'll do a little recap at the end.

We're going to do meditation by grounding the body.

All these practices,

Again,

Are very complementary.

They support one another.

If you're in therapy,

If you're in group support,

They can just enhance that experience and give you tools to practice when you're home,

When you're on your own.

Lying down,

Sitting up tall,

Whatever works for you,

Hands in any position that feels grounding.

I like to let my palms face or press into my legs gently.

That feels grounding for me.

Find what feels grounding for you.

Keep pressing down evenly into the floor,

Tailbone rooting down,

Spine is long,

Shoulders are relaxed.

Very slightly tuck your chin towards your chest.

Safe being the integrity of the spine,

But also softening the muscles around it.

Then either look towards the floor or close your eyes,

Whatever feels safe.

Let's just start with awareness of the breath.

Noticing the movement of breath through your nostrils.

Going onto that awareness and noticing the movement of your breath through your throat.

Noticing the temperature of the air in your nose and throat as it flows in and out super easily,

Not forcing it.

Relax your shoulders,

Tell your body it's okay to relax.

Then continue to expand that breath.

Not really just noticing the movement of it in your chest.

Just expanding on the inhale and softening on the exhale.

Breathing into the rib cage,

Noticing the expansion and contraction of it there with every cycle of breath.

Notice the brilliance,

The wisdom of your body to do this for you without thinking.

Body is breathing,

Keeping you alive.

Then see if you can really deepen your breath all the way into your belly now,

The low belly.

Okay,

If that feels safe.

When we practice deep breathing,

When we practice breathing into the belly,

We're also working with this parasympathetic nervous system.

Finding the body to come into rest mode,

To calm down,

And the brain follows.

Full body breathing in through the nose,

Down the throat,

Chest,

Rib cage,

And belly.

Out through the belly,

Rib cage,

Chest,

Throat,

And nose,

Or mouth if that's more accessible for you.

Keep breathing this way and see if you can visualize roots of a tree now.

Starting out through the soles of your feet or whatever it is that's touching the floor.

These roots,

They're strong,

They're beautiful,

They're tethering you or anchoring you down to the earth.

The earth is giving you safe healing vibes,

Softened down towards the ground.

Knowing that anytime you need to feel more embodied,

More in your body,

In a comforting and safe way,

You need only breathe.

Get still and root down through your feet.

Observing,

Witnessing how you feel in this moment.

Your best not to label good or bad.

You are the witness to your experiences and your feelings.

You are not your experiences or feelings.

Observe.

Let me go of any remaining tension in your body,

In the muscles of your face,

Forehead,

Jaw.

Arms and legs relaxed.

Body is heavy and soft.

Open your eyes if they're closed when you're ready.

I know we're going a little bit over time,

But I wanted to really slow that down and allow you to feel,

If you've never experienced,

What it is to,

What it can feel like to connect to the healing energy of the earth.

I also love hiking.

I love being in nature as an embodiment practice.

It helps me to come into the moment,

Come into my body in a way that feels powerful and natural.

Thank you for your donation.

I see that there.

To recap,

What we did today is we looked at the role of the nervous system in protecting us in a traumatic situation and then in helping us to heal from that same situation or events.

The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for fight or flight.

If you fight,

Flight,

Flee,

Whatever,

Freeze during a traumatic situation,

That is your body protecting you,

Thank it for that.

But in order to move past that traumatic event,

To move past that sense of being locked in the past or in that situation,

We need to start to work with the body.

We start to work with the parasympathetic nervous system,

Which is the body's rest and digest response,

The calming response in the body.

We do that with embodiment practices like deep breathing,

Self-havening,

We did that,

Self-soothing touch,

And meditations.

It might look different for you.

You might find that using your hands is a way to feel embodied.

You might love to cook or to garden or to make pottery.

Be open to exploring what allows you to be fully in your body and know that it's going to be different for every body.

Thank you so much for being here.

I know it's not easy,

Genuinely I know it's not easy.

I'm still doing the work to heal,

Some trauma from my childhood and from my teenage years and some days are awesome and I feel like a superhero and some days stuck and I feel like I can't function fully.

If that resonates with you,

You're not alone.

One more time,

I'm going to say it,

Healing from trauma is a non-linear journey.

Please do your best to show yourself compassion along that journey and to remember that feelings and thoughts and sensations are impermanent.

They change.

Who we are,

The essence of who we are in our soul remains permanent.

We are not our thoughts,

We are not our experiences,

We are the witness,

The observer to whatever is happening in our lives.

You are brave,

You are powerful for being here today.

I hope you all work towards being free of your own suffering,

Free of your past so that you may find peace and power in the present moment so that you're able to open your heart to the possibilities of the future.

I look forward to hopefully practicing with some of you.

I have yoga classes every Thursday on this app.

I've got meditations,

More talks,

So stay tuned.

Please make a donation if this resonated with you and thank you so much.

Be well.

Sending love to you.

Namaste.

Thank you.

Bye,

Kasa,

Christine,

Valeria.

Thank you so much.

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