Good-Bye Bucket Lists & Don't Seize The Day!

Instead of merely seizing the day, focus on connecting deeply to the present moment and embracing your true self. Take the time to explore what genuinely resonates with your essence, allowing your authentic desires and passions to guide you. By tuning into your inner voice, you can cultivate a richer, more meaningful experience each day.

Transcript

So today I'm going to say something controversial.

Don't seize the day and don't do bucket lists.

Don't seize the day,

Instead connect to the present moment and connect fully to yourself.

I've noticed this almost consumerism of life and the present moment,

Especially in mainstream American culture,

Which is very consumer oriented.

And it's like,

I have to do everything,

I have to have every experience in this life.

I need to go to these 30 countries,

And even if traveling is not my thing,

And I need to have every kind of experience,

Every kind of relationship.

And it becomes almost like doing things because you feel like they're there,

But not because you connect to them.

And I think that becomes a huge problem,

Because people are like checking things off,

Like a robot mechanically off a list,

And they're not necessarily experiencing,

And they're not necessarily the right thing at the right time.

So real joy and pleasure and depth comes from when you really connect,

When you connect to a person,

When it's the right relationship at the right moment and your heart is in it.

When you really want to go to a place,

And you go to a place,

And you enjoy it,

And you get to be there,

And you get to experience it,

And kind of gets under your skin.

And you really read a book deeply,

Not like,

I'm going to read 1000 books in 1000 days.

And this is how you like skim read,

And these are the cliff notes.

I just feel like experiences are getting increasingly watered down.

Everything is getting increasingly superficial.

And the superficial isn't interesting.

Like have one deep relationship instead of 20 superficial ones.

And I feel like seize the day is just what people say in a very superficial way about superficial experiences.

So I do think like,

Live life to the fullest,

But in the way that that's meaningful to you.

And that might be totally different.

Like Emily Dickinson barely left home.

The woman had the richest internal and intellectual life ever.

She didn't seize the day or check off bucket lists or like visit Africa.

She had a very,

Very rich life.

And she had a lot of love.

And she had very strong feelings for the person she wrote a lot of love poems to.

And who are we to say that that's not a full life.

So don't fall for the mainstream view of the way your life needs to look.

I like thinking of all of us as timeless.

And this is not my view.

It's the kind of Buddhist Hindu viewpoint.

And if we're timeless,

It's all about experiencing this present moment.

It's about the connection right now.

It's about the connection you have with someone or with something right now.

And it doesn't really matter what comes after or what comes before.

What matters is that it's honest and loving and from your heart and true to the moment,

True to you,

That it comes from a good intention.

And that is so much more important than like rushing through life,

Rushing through every decade of your life and being like,

Well,

I'm 40 now I need to do this and I'm 45 and then I need to do this.

This is how you make mistakes.

Anytime I tried to do something the way I'm supposed to in a very mainstream way,

I made mistakes.

When I meditate,

And I always meditate,

But when I meditate a lot,

When I connect to self-compassion,

When I ask how my body feels,

How my heart feels,

Does my body like this experience?

Then I really benefit.

Then it's something I'm really happy to remember and something I'm really happy I did.

So if I start a book and within six or seven pages,

I don't connect to the author.

I put the book down and I say this is either for later or this is not for me.

Even if I go to like the opera or a ballet or a theater or a movie,

And like within half an hour or 40 minutes,

I just don't feel it.

I leave during the intermission or I find a quiet,

Non-disturbing way to leave.

Because my life,

My time,

I want to be true to every moment.

Don't be with someone you don't love because like whatever,

They give you some security or benefit.

Don't be with a person you don't love.

Don't read books you hate.

Don't do work that is like lucrative that you don't like because you'll never have energy.

The only way we have energy is when we connect deeply.

If it's a bucket list,

If it's like a seize the day motivation,

It's like,

Oh,

Today's a Friday night,

So I have to go out.

Go to sleep early.

Like take a bath,

Go to sleep early.

Maybe go out if you feel like it,

But don't go out if you don't feel like it because there's really no reason to just because it's a Friday night.

So don't let all these outer structures,

Like it's a Friday night,

That's an outer structure.

How old you are,

Time,

Like yes,

We grow older,

But a certain age and having to do certain things by a certain age,

That's an outer structure.

Don't let these outer structures sway your internal state because it's not self-compassionate.

And as you build more self-compassion,

You ask yourself questions like,

How do I want to grow?

What would really fulfill me?

What would make my heart sing?

What sets my heart on fire?

What feels like an expression of love and loving presence and where can I be that loving presence and how do I want to contribute to the world?

What contribution do I want to make?

Because we make a huge contribution.

Our lives are affected by many people,

But our lives also affect many people and so do our words and so do our decisions and so do how we decide to spend our time.

So don't let those things be superficial because you're robbing yourself of your own life,

Of your own presence,

Of your own lessons,

Of your own love for life.

Don't rob yourself of those things.

Let yourself enjoy life as it is in a way that is true to you.

And that might mean like not dating anyone for a couple of years or dating someone who you feel like is wrong for you,

But you have feelings for that person and your parents don't approve,

But you have feelings for that person.

Like it can just,

It can mean a lot of different things and be very open-minded about what feels true for you that other people don't agree with because everyone has their ego.

They're viewing you through their ego and you don't want,

Like you have your own ego that you view life through.

If you're looking at life through other people's eyes or through mainstream society standards,

You're adding a whole different layer of ego because needing to do everything on a list can be ego.

And if it's ego,

Then there's really no reason to do it.

Sometimes it comes from inner motivation.

Sometimes a person is born a traveler,

They want to travel.

That's great.

You want to read tons and tons of books.

That's great.

But if it comes from ego,

Release it.

Those things are too heavy to carry.

Kind of feeling like you have to adhere to those standards.

It's too heavy.

The things that are yours,

They'll feel light,

They'll feel natural.