When You Can't Fix It

This guided meditation offers a way to work with relationship challenges, or situations in life that feel unresolvable. Such as when you are navigating a difficult dynamic with another person you can't fix, or a situation that you don't know how to heal in your life. This practice helps you stay connected to your heart, be with what is, and offer compassion to yourself in the midst of it all.

Transcript

Hi friends.

I felt inspired today to guide a meditation about how to work with your heart,

Your mind,

And your emotional body when you're in a dynamic with another person,

A relational situation that you just can't fix,

Where you don't know what to do.

You don't know how to break a pattern.

You don't know how to get out of a particular dynamic with this person and try as you might.

Perhaps the relationship's just not working or you can't find your way to health and connection and well-being with this person.

Maybe you have some shame about that or so much striving and exhaustion from trying or perhaps you just feel really angry or disappointed or sad.

Whatever it is,

I invite you to do this practice and just turn toward yourself and your experience and see what's possible,

At least in your connection with yourself,

If not with them.

So we're going to start by resourcing ourself because that's always so crucial,

So important when we're trying to feel and be present with that which is difficult.

And there's so much resource that we can access from the seen and the unseen worlds.

For this practice right now,

I invite you to just start by coming into your body,

Coming into your breath and feeling the stability in the root of the earth underneath you,

Holding you,

Supporting you.

As your breath moves in your body,

With each exhale,

Keep letting yourself surrender into the support that's rising up to hold you from the earth.

And the other support that I always find to be so constant and powerful and helpful is to lean back into my central channel,

The column of light inside of and behind my spine,

Where the flow of life force moves through my body,

Where my awareness,

My higher self,

The divine,

Whatever you want to call it today,

Is very accessible and available,

As well as the bright light of your awareness.

So feeling your deep root dropping down,

Feeling the pillar of strength and light that's always present in your body and behind your body.

Feel them holding you so that you can soften and relax so that you have the wherewithal,

The ability,

And the courage to feel what you're feeling right now about this situation that you're in,

About this relationship that you don't know what to do with and you don't know how to fix.

I'll give you a few more moments.

I invite you to just keep finding your resource,

Keep inviting support,

Keep allowing yourself to have it no matter how you feel.

The light of your awareness and the steady loving presence of the earth are always here to hold you.

And from that resource,

From your bright loving awareness that you're now more connected to,

I invite you to drop into your body and see if you can find a space,

An energy,

An experience,

A feeling in your body where you have some agitation or grief or anger or disappointment or fear or perhaps shame about the reality that you don't know what to do about this relationship,

That it's not going the way you wanted or you don't know how to fix it.

And the invitation is to just feel it,

Feel those feelings,

Feel the energy of them from your resource.

We drop out of our mind and the part of us that's trying to figure it out,

That's trying to manage,

Trying to survive,

It's trying to find a way and you just let the situation be there as it is and come into your body and breathe and just feel what's here.

And we're gonna feel for 90 seconds.

90 seconds is such a powerful research proven period of time where you can stay with an emotion and I promise you it won't overwhelm you.

It's very potent.

So find that place in your body,

Feel that feeling for 90 seconds and just keep breathing,

Just keep being with yourself exactly as you are.

See if you can breathe with compassion and kindness into this feeling in your body of the despair or the fear of being alone or the fear of not being enough or the shame that you can't figure it out.

Try as you might,

Just stay with yourself with as much loving-kindness as you can.

And the loving-kindness is expressed through these feelings by just breathing into them.

It's like you're rocking them in a cradle of your breath.

Whatever is here is welcome and you're just being with it fully.

Another big breath,

Coming as close to this feeling as you can and then soften and let go.

Well done,

That was 90 seconds.

Just notice your body,

Notice what's here now.

And the invitation is to open and to soften.

Soften towards yourself,

Soften into the support that's here holding you.

Soften into the reality of your life as it is right now.

Always changing,

We don't know what the future will hold but we do know that we cannot abandon ourself.

To be here fully with yourself however you're feeling in the midst of the I don't know,

In the midst of the pain is so powerful,

It's so alchemical and transformative.

We're gonna do it again.

Perhaps there's a new feeling that's emerging,

Perhaps it's another layer of the situation,

Another emotion that's arising.

See if you can get close to it,

Perhaps it's in your heart or your throat,

Perhaps it just feels like agitation or a squeeze in your spine.

Whatever is here invite you to turn toward it for 90 seconds.

Breathe into it,

Let it be here and see if you can find a way to love it,

Whatever it is,

Or at least love yourself while you're feeling it.

Let yourself be however you are.

Then remember you're being held and supported while you do this brave work.

Your spine is holding this feeling,

Your awareness is breathing into this feeling.

See if you can soften towards however you are right now.

Well done and relax and just check in how you are.

This work will change your life.

It's so brave,

It's so loving.

We may not be able to fix the situation out there,

We may not be able to find a way through with this other person,

But the only way to know is to do this work of tending to yourself and to what's true and to what's here and to love yourself right where you are.

My next imitation is to really bring some light in,

The light of awareness,

The light of compassion.

Remembering that beautiful quote from Einstein that said,

You can't solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that created it.

We have to bring in something new,

We have to see what's possible by opening things up.

And so I invite you to let some light in.

Invite the light,

Whatever that means to you.

Invite the support.

Let it pour through you and down and out of you.

Let it wash through your aching heart or your agitation or your shame.

Let something larger than you help you right now to bring awareness and transformation.

Let it wash through.

Open up this tender,

Achy place that's scared,

That's trying so hard,

That doesn't know what to do.

Let it receive some support right now from something that's larger than your small,

Scared mind.

Let it love you.

Let it help you.

And if you can't feel it right now,

Just trust that opening to that,

Inviting it,

Welcoming support.

It's here,

It's going to show up.

Even if it's just in the form of your own wisdom coming through.

Because you're making room for what is.

When we allow things to be as they are,

Then they have the possibility to change.

They have the possibility of showing us what's real and what's necessary and what's needed,

What's possible.

And if it feels true for you,

I invite you to do this prayer.

It's the Ho'oponopono prayer from the Hona tradition in Hawaii.

Such a sacred,

Ancient prayer.

And you can say it to the other person.

You can say it to the situation.

And above all right now,

I invite you to just say this prayer to yourself.

How you're feeling.

The fact that you can't fix it.

The fact that you don't know what to do.

You say the prayer of,

I love you.

I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

I forgive you.

Thank you.

I love you.

I am so sorry.

Please forgive me.

I forgive you.

Thank you.

And as you're saying this prayer over and over to yourself,

To your emotions,

To the situation,

And perhaps to the other person as well,

Let the light come through.

Let the change come through.

Let the possibility move through as you heal and clarify what's within you.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

I forgive you.

Thank you.

In the original prayer I was taught,

It wasn't said,

It wasn't added in there to say,

I forgive you,

But I found it to be a really helpful addition.

So see if that fits for you.

I invite you to do this practice as long as you need.

Returning to feeling your feelings for 90 seconds at a time.

Inviting the light in,

Into the pain,

Into the contraction,

Into the fear.

To allow the not knowing to just be here,

To surrender to it.

And above all,

Bring the light in of compassion and kindness toward yourself as you walk this human journey of relationship and learning and healing the heart.

Thanks for doing this practice with me.

I truly believe it heals the world and I hope that it supports you in your life and in your relationships.

Blessings on your day.

Reviews

OMG so powerful! I had a spiritual experience while doing this meditation. This is exactly what I needed and I got outside signs at the same time, for example, my lamp came on slowly, on sunrise mode EXACTLY when you started talking about letting the light in. And it got brighter as we went on. I have lost two aunts, my mother and my brother all in the last five years, and I’m getting a divorce. I truly felt the love and support of those women. Lots of tears, but good release. Thank you. 🙏 😢🤍

So helpful and soothing. Many thanks Elizabeth 🙏❤️💫

Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful meditation. Will come back to it many more times🙏

Beautiful practice. Such a gentle voice. Very helpful

This was so right on for me right now. i immediately went to were my strong feelings were stuck. the visualization of the light in front of and behind the spine came to me immediately. Simultaneously, i sent my root chakra deep into earths core… and the support i felt with both of theses energy’s was incredible. i felt SO SAFE. I was able to relax the rest of my body to get in touch with my anger and my sadness. perhaps this was one of the best meditations i have ever had! Her voice had a calmness that really assisted me as well. My intention is to make this a daily practice. Thank you!🙏🏽

Many thanks. 🙏🕊️

Really excellent and very timely. Thank you so much.

Found at the perfect time and helped a lot, thank you

Great practice! I truly connected well. This is a Powerful practice. Loved it!

Thank you! Blessings ❤️ 🙏

Extremely helpful! Thank you from a fellow IT Teacher! Namaste ✨

Thank you so much Elizabeth. This helped me so much emotionally. I will certainly do this meditation often. Kind regards.

So important to be kind to ourselves when we can’t fix it. Thank you for this reminder.

Very loving, very kind, and practically useful. Thank you!

The one thing I would say is that I wished that the 90 second parts were 100% silent. The encouragement peppered in those sections actually interrupted the connection I was starting to have with the feelings & I would kind of startle out of staying with the feelings with the comments.