If you are on the beginning of what I will call a healing journey,
This is for you.
Welcome.
Welcome,
My friend.
You have reached a breaking point.
You know something has to change.
You may waffle back and forth between feeling bitterness that your circumstances have brought you here and feeling shame that there might be something about you that has brought you here.
You may wonder,
Do I need to change something or do I need to change?
Regardless,
You know something must change.
You can't go on like this.
You don't know what to do.
But the fact that you have acknowledged that,
Even if reluctantly,
Is brave of you.
That moment of surrender is itself an act of faith.
Faith that something can change.
Believing that letting go might actually be easier than trying to control everything.
Now you're here.
It feels like you're in a cloud of chaos.
Nothing is stable.
Everything is in question.
And yet,
Chaos is where creation begins.
I know you wish this healing process would just be over and you could go back to how you were before.
But,
My dear friend,
You were never meant to stay where you were.
I know you were comfortable there.
But there's so much more in store for you.
You're already changing.
You have to let go of the idea that you're only improving if your behavior is changing.
As you stop and take a look inside of yourself,
Watching the chaos swirling around,
Observing,
Learning,
Wondering,
This is growth.
You might say you're in a womb of sorts.
It's dark.
It's wet.
You may feel uncertain,
Uncoordinated.
But you will emerge from this womb.
Growth is happening,
Even in the darkness.
There is no shame in this journey.
You are exactly where you need to be.
And you can let go a little bit.
It was never all on you.
You can let go of the idea that you're only improving if your behavior is changing.
It was never all on you.
Faith is having the courage to shine a light on your dark places.
Faith is believing that God is not afraid of your messiness.
There is no dark corner of your soul that the Lord hasn't already seen and loved.
But you must be willing to let the light shine on those dark spots.
You have to be willing to see things as they truly are.
It's alright.
Offer yourself the gentleness that you intellectually believe He offers you.
Take a deep breath.
You may even place your hand on your heart.
It's alright.
You can be gentle with yourself.
Just breathe.
Know that His loving kindness is ever with you.
And you may say,
No,
I need to fix this first.
I need to change.
I need to be better.
Listen.
It's alright.
His kindness shall not depart.
Please show your faith and trust in the Lord's goodness by choosing to believe that He loves you.
Right now.
Exactly as you are.
With your hand on your heart,
Just take some slow,
Easy breaths.
You are deserving of love and kindness.
I want to point out that because the word repentance,
As stated in the Bible dictionary,
Denotes a fresh view of God,
Oneself,
And the world,
Any kind of introspection,
Clarity that you have about yourself,
About your relationships,
About your family,
About your relationships,
About your perception of God,
This is repentance.
As you open your mind to a bigger,
Kinder,
More wise version of God,
You are changing,
You're growing into wisdom.
And that is why we are here.
To experience the bitter and the sweet.
Because we can only learn from our experience.
Learning about it intellectually in the premortal life was not enough.
We had to come here and experience.
And we are provided a Savior.
He is our safety net.
Adam and Eve knew all about trying to do it themselves.
They gathered leaves to clothe themselves.
And yet the Lord offered them coats of skins.
So we can let go and let the Lord guide our progression.
We can trust that He is mighty to save.
So wherever you are,
If you're sitting,
Sit tall,
Lift your sternum,
Let the shoulders fall back and down away from the ears.
Breathe deep,
All the way into your belly.
Send that breath deep down and let it just send love through your whole body.
I'll offer you some mantras today that you can think in your mind as you breathe.
I release control of my body.
I am letting go of the illusion that I am in control.
I surrender.
I trust.
I am vulnerable,
But I am safe.
I am in the very best hands.
I trust.
And some more thoughts.
A poem of sorts,
Coming from Scripture and from the Bible.
I am letting go of the illusion that I am in control.
I am letting go of the illusion that I am in control.
I am in the very best hands.
I am in the very best hands.
I am in the very best hands.
I am in the very best hands.
I am in the very best hands.
I am in the very best hands.
I am in the very best hands.
I am in the very best hands.
He will never forget me.
Do I trust him?
He has engraven me in the palms of his hands.
I trust.
Redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah,
For he is full of grace and truth.
My friend,
I honor you for being here today.
I honor you for having the courage to look deeper,
To not be content with going through the motions,
But to want to grow as a soul,
As a child of divinity that you are.
I pray and I know and I trust that God will guide you on the healing and growth that you need.
And I'm excited for you to see this growth unfold.
Now as we come to the end of this meditation,
Let's tune back in to the beginning of this meditation.
With your body.
We've talked about some hard things.
So just bring your awareness back to your breath.
Feel the air coming in and out.
Know that you are safe.
There is help.
There is healing.
There is hope.
Breathe in this newness of life that is coming your way.
And breathe out your fears and worries.
Take a few more gentle,
Steady breaths.
And rest in the knowledge that you are in good hands.
Wishing you love and light and peace.
Namaste.
