The Darkside Of Being Nice

In this episode of The Eleposed Podcast, we discuss people-pleasing and how this is often a behavior symptom from the core belief of not being enough. We discuss how to identify it in ourself and how we can begin to change this habit.

Reviews

Very deep insights expressed in a simple and approachable way. It helped me identify I always try to please people out of a deep fear to be all alone that comes from my early family experience. A huge realization that will help me a lot to correct automatic patterns. Thanks a lot 🙏🏻

This concept has been on my mind a lot in recent months due to a conversation in talk therapy. I didn’t like the way it stung when my therapist told me, and it took me several revisits to the notion that people-pleasing is selfish before I could accept it and forgive myself. I appreciated many of your points and have journaled them so that I can start a habit of training my brain to think them often. Thank you 😊

Outstanding! Making it plain and keeping it 💯! Thank you!

Really interesting and helpful insights, thank you Diana. Much love to you dear soul 💜 x

Well Ms Carter, Diana
I took a chance, because honestly I loved the title and fantasied you’ll open the deep dark side of a monster putting up a ‘nice’ show ... then I can be the scary instead of the scared ... needless to say the pod cast disappointed me ☹️ 😉

I started with skepticism and found the beginning to be too “pleasing”... yeah my defensive judgmental side was strong ... but ... but... you gave me some much needed permissions that brought me to tears
1.) try saying no to helping and notice how you feel towards yourself, OR ... dive headlong, with awareness, and notice how you feel about the other ... do you suddenly have a list of ‘shoulda’ and expectations from them and be honest ... this is work for oneself... no point cheating

2) just like with helping ... my ‘nice’ habit, a notch above that is ‘protecting’ and your podcast gave me permission to try the same

3) I got, from you, the most pragmatic test for authenticity- Always struggled with that one… Always blamed myself for not being authentic... Now it is simple… “If I’m gonna behave a certain way, pause and see how I feel not behaving that way… And if I feel or smell fear or guilt shame for not going that way… That means going that way it would be inauthentic because I’m not doing it out of - love” 🙏🏼

4) I also got, from you, the permission to not analyze the sources… Maybe those inside so come maybe they won’t… What’s important is recognizing the feelings in the moment and working with them and taking the next step.

Thank you so so much Diana.

PS. Do I want you to smile when you read this - honestly, A little bit 🤷🏻‍♂️
Am I afraid sharing my thoughts with you would be useless if you don’t smile – not one bit!👌🏼