How To Use Values As Your Guide

In this episode of the Eleposed Podcast, we discuss how to use our values as our guide. To be able to live intentionally and with focus, we have to know what our own values are because our values will guide all the decisions we make for our lives. If you desire to be authentic and aligned with your true inner self then knowing what your own values are is the starting point. Much love to you!

Transcript

Well hello lovelies!

How are you doing today?

How is managing your mind going?

So a little update about my life just because I assume you want to know a little bit of what's going on in my world.

I've recently been putting myself in new situations where I really get to stretch myself.

Get out of my comfort zone,

Feel the nerves tighten up in my throat,

Butterflies in the stomach,

The whole nine yards.

And of course as I'm doing this the critic,

Inner critic speaks up so I practice witnessing the voice for a moment,

Thanking it for its opinion,

But then I remind it I am the captain here.

I'm the creator of my life so we're not going to go mad dashing out of the room like a scared little rabbit which is what I feel everything in my body saying I should do.

That's what's been going on.

Lots of stretching,

Lots of new environments,

Putting myself out there.

So one of my favorite thoughts to think right now during these new situations,

Especially when I'm doing new things that are challenging,

Is the thought I can do hard things and then I do.

I do want to add right now that I have my dog in the room with me so if there are odd kind of weird little noises,

Little toenail taps barking,

That's the dog.

He's got to be with his mama.

So I noticed too that the more I allow my fears to coexist with me but I still take action anyway,

Not only is the next time not nearly as big of a deal but I get benefits I would never have anticipated beforehand which is great.

It's really helping the projects that I'm working on grow faster.

Of course I still have to coach myself through it,

Through the moment,

Talk to my chicken brain,

Practice loving myself but I still take the action which means changes are happening my friends and my future is becoming more and more aligned with how I envision it and this is how managing our minds work.

You see if I didn't manage my mind I would never do any of the scary things.

This podcast would not exist.

My fear of people hearing my stutter would have kept it out of my reach.

I would be limited by so many fears and self-doubt would have restricted me from the life I'd imagined because of the interpretations I made about myself when I was a younger version.

That's version.

But I do manage my mind and I can do hard things.

I do hard things.

I create my life and so can you lovely.

You can be unstoppable and create any life you imagine and can you imagine how amazing our world would become if you would embrace this truth for yourself?

I can which is why I embraced my own fears to begin sharing with you the tools to transform your own life and it's beautiful so you're in the right spot.

Alright so today we are going to talk about values and how values are our guide.

We can use our values as our guide.

When we reach points in life where we begin to feel directionless or we aren't happy,

One way to get direction back is to use our values.

Values provide destination,

A target to aim for.

So it's really important to know what your own values actually are and we learn values from our culture,

Family,

Friends,

But it's really important to know what your values are and they will probably be a mixture of things but they can still be different for different people.

Especially how we prioritize our values.

So for example having fun is something I value but I value having safety more so I will normally choose safety over doing something fun.

For other people they may value fun over safety and their decisions would be different than mine.

So it doesn't mean that one person is more correct than the other.

We simply have different values guiding how we make decisions for our lives.

The reason you need to know what your own values are is because if you are living your life based off of someone else's values or off your culture's values,

You won't feel fulfilled or authentic because you'll be neglecting your own values.

So eventually you'll begin to experience what I call soul death and it's confusing because you believe you're doing what you're supposed to be doing but what is missing is living by your values.

Your own values.

Living by your values is crucial because they function as your guide in all the areas of your life and when we operate in conflict with our own values we experience confusion.

So how do you know what your values are?

Now there's lots of ways to discover this for yourself but one simple way is to ask yourself.

Your values may evolve over time and the priority of your values can also fluctuate based off of various factors in life and that's totally normal.

So at this time in your life if you are feeling directionless or burnt out or that your soul is slowly withering away then you need to get back in touch with your values and the best place to start is simply to ask what do you want to feel more of in your life?

This is a powerful question and when you listen to the answer that comes up don't judge it.

Be curious about it and be honest with yourself.

Do you want to feel more calm,

More joy,

More safety,

More love,

More wealth,

More adventure,

More connection,

More generous,

More accomplished,

More sexy,

More proud,

More influential,

More freedom,

The list goes on.

How do you want to feel more of in your life?

So be honest with yourself and don't judge.

To want is not negative and you get to want anything.

Don't limit yourself,

Want big things.

There's no limits and nothing is worse or better.

So for example,

Wanting to feel more wealth doesn't make you a bad person.

Though in some cultural settings this may be the common thought.

Wealth doesn't turn you into a selfish person.

You can be selfish and have zero dollars in the bank account.

And another example,

Wanting to feel sexy.

It's a wonderful feeling to feel sexy but so often in our society we shame one another for acting or wanting to feel sexy.

We've got to stop that.

Sexy and attractive feels great.

It's empowering to feel this way.

Knowing how you want to feel is a starting point to guide ourselves towards building a life around our values.

So for example,

I love to feel sexy because I value health and energy.

When I'm healthy and have energy,

I feel sexy.

I love creating healthy environments for myself and my daughter.

I love having adventure because I value growth and when I live adventurously,

I always grow in new ways.

So do you see how our values guide our life?

When we start asking these types of questions,

Shifts begin to take place in our life.

Sometimes there are really big changes that will need to take place and sometimes the smallest changes are all you need but you have to know what your values are first.

Otherwise you simply are just hoping that some random change of events is going to make you feel good.

And lots of people do this and you can but you certainly don't have to leave it up to chance.

You can be intentional with how you create your life and what experiences and emotions you want to have in your future.

It's beautiful.

It's intentional.

It's being the creator of your life.

When we have direction,

We can guide our thoughts and we can put our most magnificent piece of equipment we know to work for us and that would be your brain.

Instead of letting it function on its default modes,

I.

E.

Fears and self-criticism and oh my goodness don't do that type of thing,

We put it to work to look for the opportunities to create more of what we want in our life.

The ways,

The solutions,

The routes.

We activate that RAS system.

Put it to work.

So for example,

One way that I love to feel is connected with my daughter.

She is by far one of my most favorite people in the universe.

I love her and I love watching her progress through her life and becoming a young person.

But my friends,

We are in between years and having a close connection with anyone,

Let alone at this age when hormonally so much is changing and our consciousness is expanding to realize we are individuals.

It doesn't just magically happen is my point.

It takes intention.

It takes priority and it takes the RAS constantly looking for opportunities to act on with the intention to build a strong healthy loving relationship and connection with my daughter.

But that's what it looks like to create your life.

Let your values be your guide.

Now of course we have to always remember we can't control other people and their values may be different than ours and that is okay.

As you begin to intentionally create your life and to use your values as your guide or any change in your life for that matter you're going to experience resistance.

So when you experience resistance and notice I said when because you will and the negative chatter begins to chime in it's important to just acknowledge its opinion.

Just acknowledge it.

Don't resist it.

Don't hide away.

Don't freak out thinking that you're doing this wrong.

We don't want to resist it or push it away or become afraid of it.

It's just the mind's way of operating to always look for the negative and this is what it's doing.

It's part of the way it functions but we don't have to focus on it and it doesn't mean we're doing anything wrong.

So at these moments we can practice loving ourself during each phase.

So practicing an empowering affirmation is useful which is just another word for thoughts.

I can do hard things and then go with the journey.

Take the action anyways.

So how do you want to feel more of?

And remember you can feel anything you want to.

Your brain creates all your emotions by how you think.

So I heard this really cool little thing and I don't remember who said it but I'll share it here.

It's really cool.

So we all know the saying the grass is greener on the other side but what about this?

Grass is greener where you water it.

I like that.

Anything to do with plants I'm gonna like it.

So the limits you place on emotions are limits you've created with your thinking.

So watch out for these types of limiting thoughts and some can be super sneaky okay because they aren't going to sound like critical thoughts all the time.

Sometimes they're gonna just sound like truths like oh yeah absolutely like for one there's just no way I could do that or something like this.

Yeah well that's just not true for me and that's because you blah blah blah blah blah right.

What about this thought?

Yeah well if I had that I'd be able to do that too.

What about this one?

I can only feel sexy when.

.

.

What about this?

I only feel wealthy if I have blank money in my bank account or this one which is particularly sneaky.

I don't know how I want to feel.

I don't know.

I don't know how I want to feel.

Do not fall for that.

It's one of the sneakiest thoughts out there.

The ones that say I don't know because all that you're really doing is just not having your brain work.

You can literally stay trapped in this type of error thought forever.

The thought that I don't know hmm I just I don't know.

Don't do it.

We all do it to a degree.

Don't do it.

When you catch yourself thinking this immediately notice this is just a thought and put your incredible brain to work and come up with three values right away.

Manage your mind here.

This is good practice.

That's your brain trying to be like nope.

That's when you need to come in and be like nope I'm the boss.

Let's figure this out.

How do I want to feel more of?

So now I know there are going to be people who think that just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean you have what you want and that is absolutely true but I want you to remember no other person or no other thing actually makes you feel anything ever.

Your brain makes your emotions,

Your feelings.

Only your thoughts create your emotions.

So you can have everything you want but still feel horrible.

In fact many people experience this.

They spend their entire lives pursuing things believing that once they get it then they'll be able to feel how they want to feel.

That they can't feel how they want to feel without having it so they suffer for many years and then if they do get it suddenly realize that they still don't have the feelings they were actually after.

So I say why not have the feelings now?

Have the feelings now and enjoy the process and then once you get the thing you are pursuing it's just even more of a bonus and not only that but having the feelings now will actually help you pursue the thing that you're actually wanting but it's totally optional and you can choose.

I just say why not?

It's much better.

Suffering is miserable no matter how soft the seat is.

Okay so use your values as your guide to creating an amazing life.

Alright so that is it for me today.

Remember if you are ready to start learning how to manage your mind I have the course that will teach you the tools to do it.

Go to elliposa.

Com that's e-l-e-p-o-s-a dot com.

So I am still offering a 50% off promotion code on the website.

Be sure to check out the website for more resources such as the future self journaling practice guide or download the 22 fast and easy ways to drop negativity or even check out the free mini class I have on there for how to bust the anxiety cycle.

It's a wonderful class it's like 15 minutes long you get some awesome tools and tips in there.

If you are struggling and suffering through anxiety I highly recommend you check out this little class it's not very long I think you'll find a lot of benefit there.

All these resources they're all free for you to help you with tools to manage your mind and to start living intentionally.

Alright lovelies,

Lastly if you would be sure to review and subscribe to the podcast that would be a huge contribution to helping the podcast grow and also it helps other people find it and if you know anyone who you think would love this type of content please share the podcast with them as well.

Alright have a wonderful wonderful wonderful day and I'll talk to you soon bye for now

Reviews

Thank you 🙏🏻🌻

Enlightening with useful tips and insights - thank you.

Awesome! Thank you!

I love ur msg & ur cute little laugh...could be bcuz I do it too & now I don't feel like I'm the only one...lol

These poscasts r very inspirational & if used correctly, could provide huge instruments for change in ur life. I truly believe that what u feed ur brain will manifest in ur life! This is my biggest feat, as I am my own worst enemy. If I can create change, I want everyone else to know they can do it too.

thankss youuuu :))) 💓

Thank you so much for allowing me to regain some perspective on where to start as I have been feeling lost. I have written much done from this insightful talk. I love your friendly nature and light witty banter and I feel that you genuinely wish to dedicate a part of yourself to helping others which is just beautiful. I cannot wait to listen to further sessions you have available

I appreciate this thought provoking, empowering podcast 🙏