Choosing To Love You

In this episode of the Eleposed Podcast we discuss how tapping into the infinite source of love is by choosing to love. When we choose to love our self, in this moment, as we are our life truly begins to change in amazing ways. But for many of us we seek love from outside of our self, putting us on a never ending hunt for love from others or other things, never realizing that love actually comes from within us.

Transcript

Hello,

My lovely friend.

How are you today?

I hope you are doing amazing.

I'm doing pretty great.

Working on lots of projects,

Pushing past my fears,

Enjoying each day,

And just moving right along.

So today,

We are going to discuss choosing to love.

But not just choosing to love other people.

We're going to talk about choosing to love you.

So let's dive in.

The bottom line is,

Love is a choice.

When you make the decision not to choose to love you,

Life is literally hell.

You are then in need to constantly search for an external source of love.

You've given the job to someone or something else.

And this makes sense because during childhood,

If we're lucky,

We are showered with love,

And we receive everything from someone else.

Our well being is taken care of,

We're given food,

Shelter,

Clothes,

It all comes from out there.

Until we finally are old enough to take care of ourselves and to provide for ourselves and develop our own emotional maturity as adults and emotional resilience.

But what we don't often learn is that part of our emotional growth as adults involves the realization that we are sources of love.

We can love other people,

And we love our self.

If we aren't aware of this,

Then we are on an endless hunt for love from external sources.

We spend a lot of our time and effort trying to fill our well by begging for it,

One cup at a time.

And because the majority of people are on the exact same hunt for love,

They aren't too willing to give it up.

In fact,

Love is seen as a scarcity,

And it has to be worked for,

Won,

Or deserving of.

I'll love you if you love me.

When you follow these rules,

Or under the right conditions,

You know.

So environments,

Households,

Companies that have a scarcity mindset towards love are really sad environments.

They're competitive and backstabbing.

And for people who grow up in environments like these,

It simply reinforces the belief that love has to be earned.

That love is rare,

And only those worthy enough get it.

So the good news is there isn't a shortage of love.

And in fact,

There is an infinite amount of it.

All you have to do is choose to love you.

To choose to love.

It's that simple.

So I want you to notice if there's any resistance that comes up for you with this idea.

Any doubts?

What thoughts are you having about that idea?

Is there any voice saying,

Yeah,

It's so not that easy?

Or if it were that easy,

Everyone would do it.

But that's the thing.

It is that easy.

And people just don't know.

If they did,

They do what I'm doing.

And that is tell you about it.

You tap into an endless amount of love by choosing to love.

Love begets love every time and towards any person,

Including yourself.

And just as we can give love to others,

We can give it to ourself.

It's a choice.

And just like I can choose to stop pouring love into a partner or towards my child or friends,

I can do the same towards myself.

And the same thing happens.

The relationship slowly dwindles away.

There's lack of trust,

And there's disconnect.

So how this shows up towards ourself is neglect,

Abusive self talk,

Distrust in ourself,

Low confidence,

Low self esteem.

When you choose to love anyone,

It takes commitment.

Commitment to see it through challenging times.

It takes honesty and trust.

And the same is true for when we love ourself.

We have to commit to always love ourself.

And because we already haven't been,

Even more so in the beginning,

We have to rebuild a lot of lost trust.

We have to be honest and still choose to love ourself when the circumstances aren't all rainbows.

This builds trust.

And it happens quickly.

Because you know,

If you can choose to love yourself when you're at your lowest point,

It's going to be so easy to love yourself when you're soaring high in the sky.

And here's the bonus.

When we love,

We don't abuse.

We aren't disrespectful.

And we don't shame.

And just as this is the same towards other people,

Towards our children,

Towards our other friends,

It's the same towards ourself.

Which is why when you choose to love you,

You realize there's no more abusive self talk.

There's no more punishing ourself with shame or keeping ourself in bad situations because we feel like we just don't deserve anything better.

All of that behavior begins to end as you learn to love you,

As you choose to love you,

As you tap into the endless source of love.

And when you choose to love you,

Don't be surprised if your life begins to change.

We're in a lot of situations simply because we were not loving ourself.

Which leads to us creating situations where we aren't in the best we could be in.

So an example from my own life,

A relationship,

As my own awareness and emotional maturity grew,

I was at a point where,

You know,

I didn't base my self worth or my source of happiness from my partner.

I knew that these emotions were internal and external circumstances sometimes will complement it and sometimes they won't.

And this was all perfectly fine,

This was okay.

I was still happy.

So I didn't require a quote unquote perfect partner.

In fact,

A human one was perfectly fine.

False and normal.

I was happy all the same,

Despite some negative circumstances and my very human partner.

I loved him,

It felt great to love him.

But here's the thing,

We can't control other people.

Their thoughts are what make them act certain ways.

Just like our thoughts make us act certain ways.

And over time it was becoming evident that there must be a lot of negative thoughts going on because the circumstances were getting worse and worse.

To the point it even became physically abusive.

And at this point I had to seriously look at the circumstances.

And when I asked myself if I would want anyone or someone I loved,

Like my daughter or friend in a relationship like the one I was in,

I had a resounding no come back as my answer.

So I then had to ask,

Well then why was I willing to be in it?

Did I love others more than myself?

Why wasn't I choosing to love me and have myself in a safe circumstance?

And then it was like a light bulb just turned on.

I realized I wasn't choosing love for me in this circumstance.

And if I wasn't choosing love,

Why would I be expecting it from my partner?

I chose love.

I chose to love me always.

I'm committed to always choose love.

And it has brought changes in my life that have been difficult temporarily but also so much better.

I choose love and I know the people in my future I bring into it will be from a place of love.

Or I won't bring them in.

We are the creators of our life.

So the types of behaviors I'll be willing to engage in also come from a place of love,

Which means I'm taking care of myself.

There isn't a sense of desperation in pursuing a career or a relationship or some status because I already have all that I need.

I know that everything I choose to go after is because I want to and my life is amazing.

So these are the types of changes that occur naturally when we begin to choose love for ourself.

And it's beautiful.

It's the simplest little choice,

But it is still a choice.

Will you commit to love you?

And you have to consciously make the decision and legitimately tell yourself,

I love you.

There's no condition to meet first.

There's no dragon to slay or obstacle you have to get through.

You just decide that yes,

I choose to love me.

I choose to love me when I screw up.

When I'm fat,

When I'm ugly,

When I'm broke,

When I'm greedy,

When I'm tired,

When I'm fired,

When no one else will.

I choose to love me just for being me.

And see what amazing effect that has on your life.

Love is the most powerful force in the universe.

When we direct it towards others and towards ourself,

Amazing things follow.

So love you wholly,

Completely as you are in this moment today.

No more looking for someone else to love you first.

You choose you first.

You make the decision and then watch how amazing your life becomes.

So for the perfectionists like me,

You're going to probably have a little voice going on in the back of your head saying something like,

Yes,

But if I love myself,

Then I'll never accomplish anything.

I'll become a lazy couch potato who loves herself and there's just no way I'm going to be a couch potato,

Right?

Something along those lines.

And I totally get where you're coming from.

And I completely understand what this fear is.

I get it.

I used to think this too.

But it's completely up to you how you want to experience your life.

You can always white knuckle it all the way through.

Just drag yourself up the mountain,

Tongue lashing yourself every step of the way.

But you know,

You'll probably get up there and you know,

Or at least you'll die trying,

Right?

And when you do make it to the top,

Your sense of accomplishment will last about 30 seconds.

And then it's on to the next mountain.

The next mountain advertising happily ever after over here,

Right?

So,

You know,

That is definitely one way to live for sure.

And a lot of people do.

But just know,

You have options and you aren't stuck.

You don't have to whip yourself into shape.

And just because you love yourself doesn't mean you are suddenly lazy.

In fact,

I think I have more results now than I did before as a self hating perfectionist.

And the quality of my life is much,

Much better.

I have done more scary and more difficult things while loving myself than I ever did as a scared to death perfectionist.

On top of all of that,

I get to enjoy life.

The quality of my life is much better.

I'm filled with joy,

Confidence,

Peace,

Love,

And I'm Ellie posed.

I have everything I want in my future in my present.

And I know I'm just going to keep making more.

So it's pretty clear which way of living I recommend.

Okay.

All right,

My friends,

That is it for me today.

Begin by choosing to love you.

Always commit to it.

Practice it consciously.

Look in the mirror and smile and say,

I love you.

See how it feels and accept whatever comes up.

It's okay.

Love yourself anyway.

Again and again and again.

When you haven't been loving yourself,

Expect some relearning to take place.

Expect some unlearning.

That's okay.

I choose to love myself right here,

Right now,

In this moment 100%.

Start there.

Love my friends is amazing.

I'll talk to you soon.

So if you are enjoying this podcast and are ready to go deeper,

Then you've got to join Ellie Posa.

It is so important to surround ourselves with like minded individuals and materials that will build us up for success.

So start by signing up at elliposa.

Com.

That's E L E P O S A.

And while you're there,

If you are struggling with anxiety,

You've got to check out my free mini class on how to bust the anxiety cycle.

Bye for now.

Reviews

Thank you for this light-hearted yet inspiring talk 💜x

Deeply resonates. 💜

That was AWESOME! Go luv urself!