For When You've Had A Bad Day

Some days we feel like the world is against us, we feel like nothing is going our way. In this mediation I offer a discourse into the nature of being at peace with 'Bad' or 'Negative' days. The talk is followed by a simple meditation where we release the weight of the day and strengthen our mindfulness practice. Meditation starts at 07.30mins.

Transcript

So find a comfortable position.

They may be lying on your bed with your eyes closed or sitting on a chair or on a cushion on the ground in a comfortable position anywhere where you feel relaxed,

Comfortable and it's not likely that you're going to be interrupted.

And if you want,

Close your eyes.

Let's start with a nice deep clearing inhale and just relax.

Just for these next 10 to 15 minutes I want you to honor yourself and set the intention to fully commit for this short moment in time in your day.

You deserve it and I thank you for being here.

So the topic today before we get into the meditation is on having a bad day or having a day to be honest where you just feel like shit.

Everything seems to be going wrong.

Everything's pissing you off.

You seem to be having problem after problem.

You have a headache,

Feel sick,

You're tired,

Any of these things.

It's overwhelming.

It builds up and you feel like the world's against you.

But I want to offer you another perspective to have in this situation.

Another way to look at the world and I want you to relax into that.

Now I want you to become aware that there's no real thing as good or bad.

It is simply the perception or perspective that you bring to the series of events that happen in your day and it is up to you to choose the way you see them.

As we get deeper into this meditation and deeper into these weekly meditations and practice the goal that we will always be trying to reach is one of equanimity being equanimous to whether the things are good or bad.

In fact we just lie neutrally within them.

The reason for this is because we don't want to be grasping for good things and pushing away bad things.

That perspective you will find is one that will never bring you any fulfillment or happiness because of change.

Things are always changing,

Fluctuating and moving.

If you're constantly seeking out good you will finally have them and grasp onto it like happy feelings or a food or a sensation or an orgasm.

You will have them for a while but eventually you will lose them and that is suffering.

And then when negative emotions come up if you try and push them away you will too never find true fulfillment because negative feelings or emotions will always be a part of your life.

It is this constant grasping for the nice sensations and pushing away of the nasty sensations that is a cause of all suffering in the human experience.

And so I asked you today if you've had a bad day,

A bad afternoon,

A bad night,

You might have had a negative exchange with someone or you're just not feeling very well.

Take this as an opportunity to be present with that.

Now what do I mean by that?

I'm not telling you that you don't have challenges.

I'm not saying that sometimes life isn't hard but really what are you gaining from having a negative perspective about a negative experience?

If you had a shit day and then you're continuing on after the fact telling yourself you've had a shit day all you are doing is multiplying the shittiness in your life and what is the point of that?

And in fact walking around with this cloud of negativity around you will inevitably attract more badness as we like to call it.

Now that might seem just like some logic but it's a fundamental understanding of the way the mind works.

What is the point of continuing to add negative energy,

Thoughts and emotions to situations and experiences that have already passed?

Or if you are presently experiencing something that isn't pleasant,

What's the point of trying to push it away and be doubly negative about something?

So I asked you to see a bad day as a gift,

As a time for you to learn and understand and experience that this constant grasping and pushing will never lead to any sort of fulfillment or happiness.

And into the meditation what we'll actually do is just sit and be with these negative emotions and just see them and just be with them,

Be present.

The great Sam Harris has said probably one of the most profound things to me that I've heard this year.

It is this,

That negative emotions,

Situations and experiences aren't hard in themselves.

Like a pain isn't difficult at the time,

It is the idea that the pain or the difficult situation will continue,

Which only arises from a lack of being present.

So to consolidate this and make it all sense,

Make it all make sense,

Let's now dive into a quick meditation where we reflect on these insights.

So I ask you to get comfortable in your seat,

Maybe make some adjustments and just arrive here right now.

Close your eyes and just allow your shoulders to drop.

You are relaxed,

Become relaxed,

Quiet the mind,

Drop any plans,

Any thoughts.

Relax the brow and feel the weight of your body being pulled down to the earth.

Observe the sensations of having a body.

You might be able to feel your legs folded on the ground,

Your arms in your lap.

Or if you're lying down you might be able to feel the bed,

The sensation of across your back.

These are all two just sensations arising in consciousness.

Now to sharpen the mind,

Let's focus on the breath,

The three breaths,

As it comes in your nose and as you let it out.

If your mind drifts away to a thought,

An image or words in your mind,

That's okay.

It's completely okay.

Just like you are listening to my voice,

Observe the thoughts,

Turn your attention onto the thoughts and ask yourself where are they coming from?

Try find where these thoughts are being created.

Watch as they disappear.

Now I want you to bring to mind a negative experience,

Sensation or thought you had today.

It may be an exchange you had with someone that didn't go as you planned.

It may be a headache or an ailment or sickness in your body.

Or maybe it was just your whole day.

What I want you to do now is to bring that sensation,

Really think about that experience and bring it into your mind.

Really drill into it.

Really become the sensation.

Bring back every thought,

Emotion and memory that you experienced during the situation.

How does it feel?

Does it feel heavy?

It's okay if you can't fully bring it back.

You might only have tiny moments of it.

But when it does come back,

I want you to observe in your body where you feel the heaviness.

It might be in your head,

Behind your eyes or in your chest or your stomach.

Just really observe how bringing these negative experiences to the fore makes you feel.

Really look at them.

Now whilst you're grasping this,

I want you to look and try and seek out and find where these sensations come from,

Where they are arising.

Really turn your attention onto them.

If you don't understand what it means by turning your attention onto it,

Imagine how you turn your attention to your breath,

How you focus on your breath,

Even if you can only do it for one breath.

Turn that feeling of seeking onto the sensation within your body.

Look for its source.

Now the purpose of this action,

Of this looking,

Is to notice you won't find a place or a home or a source of where these sensations are coming from.

And it's alright if you can't experience that right now.

This comes with continued practice.

But this is the practice of turning attention in on itself.

You'll notice that thoughts,

Emotions,

Sensations arise seemingly from nowhere.

And all you truly are is a transmitter or receiver for these different frequencies of emotions and sensations.

And by turning attention in on itself,

And by looking,

You in a way kind of scare away the thought.

You in a way seek out the ego,

And when the ego,

When you shine attention,

The light of attention on ego,

It disappears.

And this is the practice that we are cultivating.

This is the practice of mindfulness.

And now simply what I want you to do is think of a situation that makes you smile.

Someone that you love,

Something you find funny,

Or just simply picture a smile in your head.

The sides of your mouth might even turn up.

And again,

Look at how this feels.

Feel this lightness.

Notice the lightness that a smile or a happy thought brings into your body.

Just really relax.

Everything's okay.

It's tough being a human.

But you'll notice from bringing up the experience of your bad day,

And then bringing up the experience of a smile,

How frugal the mind is.

It can switch between experiencing lightness and heaviness,

Just like that.

And as you notice this,

You will initially,

Sorry,

You will then be able to bring this through to your day to day life.

And simply be the witness of the sensations,

Emotions,

Thoughts,

And feelings that come your way.

So let's take a last deep breath in.

And just let everything go for the day.

Just let it all out.

Imagine it all coming out with this exhale.

Relax in this space.

If you have time,

I recommend that you just sit here and continue to be in this peaceful,

Loving space where you are held.

Where you are held by the earth and all that she is.

Thank you for putting aside the time to commit to this meditation and this mindfulness.

In doing so,

You're becoming a better human being.

And that will not only affect your world,

But the rest of the world as well.

Peace,

Kiota,

And Namaste.

Reviews

Good talk I am getting there. Thanks.

Very helpful ~ thank you soo sooo much!

🙏🏼

This meditation is not a balm for the soul on a bad day. But it helps the pain ebb with a washing clean of truth. It’s real and it provides a path to acceptance of what is.

Awesome ✨♥️
Thank you♥️🌻

Very calming..,

Was really struggling emotionally and this calmed me down

Thank you. Bookmarking this one for future bad days as it did the trick for this one!

I found this very helpful after my very shitty day! (First time I've sworn on insight timer!) Thank you 💜 x

Very well done!!! Thank-you!!!

Thank you Dylan! I enjoyed it Namaste 🙏☯️

Very helpful. Thank you!😊

your words made me cry and then laugh, so that was great! thank you dylan 🙏 sending love to aotearoa - missing it so much! 🌏✨🧡

Very nice, thank you and Namaste