To Conquer The World Or To Conquer The Self

What is true power? Is it found in conquering the world like Alexander the Great, or is it discovered in the quiet, resolute mastery of one's own mind? This podcast explores the two greatest conquests available to humanity: the world around us and the universe within.

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

If we pause for a moment and think back through our life,

I bet we'll find a time when we thought we could conquer the world.

Now how we conquer the world can really vary.

For some of us,

When we're younger,

We want to go to the Olympics and get the gold medal.

For others of us,

We want to be a rock star and someday sing in front of thousands of enthusiastic fans.

Many wish for fame and fortune to someday be on the cover of People magazine.

But for others of us,

Our goals may be more mundane but still lofty.

We may desire to have children and be the best parent that's ever lived.

We may be caught by the academic bug and aspire to get into Harvard,

Stanford,

Or Cambridge someday.

And perhaps someday go to Stockholm and stand on the podium receiving our Nobel Prize.

Our dreams of more influence,

More meaning,

More control can vary.

But the fundamental drive is to conquer.

But what I want to explore today is,

Do we achieve this conquering of the world by shaping the world to our will or by shaping our own will?

I think in history,

The two most potent examples or symbols of these two quests are the world conqueror,

Exemplified by Alexander the Great,

And the self-conqueror,

Embodied by the figure of Stoic Emperor Marcus Aurelius.

So what drives this ambition that so many of us experience in our lives?

Which manifests particularly when we're younger and we haven't discovered that this conquest of the world is harder than we think.

And if you think I'm exaggerating,

Ponder the number of video games out there that so many young people play where they are attempting and often conquering the whole world.

Over the years as a clinical psychologist,

I've worked with a lot of couples where the wives are very frustrated with their husbands because they spend so much time on playing virtual reality games.

But for many people,

There is a hunger for legacy.

There is the pursuit of and the desire to impose one's vision on the world.

Some of you may be thinking,

This is so immature.

I would never do that.

Even in the spiritual world,

People can want to conquer that world too.

Did you happen to ever see the movie,

The Love Guru,

Which came out in 2008?

He was a self-help guru who was second only to Deepak Chopra and he was just so desperate to surpass him.

But let's take a moment and look at one of the greatest conquerors who has ever lived in human history,

Alexander the Great.

After his father died and he took over his throne as king,

First he conquered Greece,

The cities and country lands surrounding his own kingdom.

Then he conquered Syria,

Then Egypt,

Then the Persian empire,

Then Mesopotamia,

Then Afghanistan,

And finally even made it to India.

Many historians believe his conquering was one of the largest empires ever created in history.

And he did all this by the age of 32 when he died in Babylon,

Far from home in 323 BC.

But what was the cost of this incredible ambition?

He was perpetually at war and in conflict.

He had the burdens of leading thousands of men who towards the end really challenged him in his ongoing quest to conquer the world.

And then he died at 32,

Such a young age.

But there are other people like Alexander the Great that have a blind spot for what they're doing.

They ultimately fail because of a lack of internal conquest.

Their unchecked ego,

Paranoia,

And appetite become the seed of their own destruction.

Haven't we all seen examples of this in our modern history,

In our modern times,

Where someone wins so much fame,

So much glory,

Or so much money,

And then it comes crashing down?

How well did it go for Jeffrey Epstein?

I don't think very well.

Or how about Axel Rose of Guns N' Roses?

He was part of one of the biggest bands in the 1980s and early 90s.

With all the success,

He was known for starting shows hours late,

Getting infused with other artists,

And having public outbursts.

For a while,

He became a recluse and the band went through a prolonged hiatus.

They did finally get back into touring,

But it was a long journey back.

Now you may be thinking,

Well Dr.

Puff,

I don't aspire to get this far in life.

That's silly.

But even our small dreams can crash and burn sometimes.

When I was in high school,

After I turned 16,

I got my first real job.

I'd worked before that,

But it was the first time I got a job being 16,

Where I could really work anywhere.

It was a fast food restaurant called Hardee's.

Think of it like a Midwest McDonald's.

Well,

My job was being in charge of the french fries.

I had to make sure there were enough french fries for every order that was taken at the fast food restaurant.

I determined to be the best french fry cooker they'd ever seen.

I kept up with every order.

And when there was nothing to do,

I kept my french fry counter sparkling clean.

I was just busy,

Busy,

Busy.

And I did what I felt was a really good job.

Well,

The manager thought I did pretty good too.

So he started promoting me.

Next I became a cook.

Then I learned to work the register.

And then they needed someone to be in charge when the manager or assistant manager wasn't there,

Called a shift leader.

And I became the shift leader.

Well next,

The assistant manager quit.

And though I couldn't be officially the assistant manager because I was still in high school,

They had me do his job.

And then finally the manager got sick.

I think he had surgery or something.

I don't remember what it was,

But he was gone for over a month.

And I was in charge until he came back.

And I was still going to high school full-time.

Well,

When he came back,

Things changed.

I didn't know why at the time,

But he began to become not very happy with me.

And he demoted me.

And then I think two weeks later,

He fired me.

I ended up getting a job right away somewhere else,

But it was hard on my ego.

I thought I'd done a really good job in my small little world.

I thought I'd conquered the world.

And then I got fired.

I think it was about six months later after I'd headed off to university that I learned the manager had gone to prison.

He was actually stealing from the restaurant and he finally got caught.

What we think had happened was he thought I knew that he was stealing.

And that's why he fired me.

I didn't,

I had no idea,

But I think he was worried about it.

So he fired me.

But in many ways,

It was a really good lesson because I realized that I could work really hard and try to conquer my little world.

And it didn't mean I was going to succeed.

So I slowly began to shift into,

Instead of conquering the world,

Conquering myself.

And the wonderful thing about conquering ourselves is any of us can do it because the only thing we have to conquer is ourselves.

Think of it as the philosophy of self-mastery.

It's not about passivity.

It's about the active disciplined work of ruling our own minds,

Emotions,

And desires.

This is the creation of an inner citadel that external events cannot ever breach.

And one of the most profound examples of this in history is Marcus Aurelius.

He was the most powerful man in the world ruling the vast Roman empire.

And at the same time,

He spent quiet moments writing about humility,

Self-control,

And accepting what he could not change.

And what were the fruits and rewards of this inner conquest?

He writes about how he experienced resilience,

Tranquility,

And a form of power that could not be taken away.

Even though he ruled a global empire,

His most important work was ruling himself.

He kept the journal on his reflections,

Which was never meant to be published,

But has become incredibly important in our world,

Called Meditations.

If you haven't read it,

I would encourage you to take a look.

Perhaps you're feeling like you're not ruling an empire right now.

I think most of us can relate to this sentiment.

But more than that,

We may be struggling with just feeling like we don't have any place in this world.

That we're struggling so hard just getting by with all the ways in which the world beats us down.

But even in these dark moments,

I believe there is always hope of conquering ourselves.

And a beautiful example of this is the work of Viktor Frankl,

Who spent time in a Nazi prison camp and later wrote a book called Man's Search for Meaning.

What he discovered is when all external freedom was stripped away from humans,

The last of the human freedom remains,

Which is the power to choose one attitude and to find meaning.

So what does this mean for our lives?

Do we give up on conquering the world,

The little world in which we live?

No,

We can still pursue the things that are important to us.

But what I'm suggesting today is that we also work on conquering our own hearts.

I doubt any of us have more responsibilities than Marcus Aurelius did when he ruled at the time the largest empire that had ever existed.

But he also spent time with his journals reflecting,

Thinking,

Looking at himself and saying,

How can I have peace and tranquility in this crazy war driven world that I live in?

And he was able to find it.

Most of us are not going to be conquering our world,

But we do face daily choices in our careers,

Our relationships,

And our personal goals.

They matter and they influence us.

If the person we loved left us and now we're divorced and facing the world with all the implications that come from being a divorced person,

Can we not at the same time make time to build who we are as a person,

To focus on our internal relationships with ourselves?

There are so many beautiful tools out there to help us improve our lives,

Not just externally,

But internally,

Through mindfulness,

Through meditation,

Through cognitive reconstructing,

Through self-development,

The list is endless.

There are so many ways we can develop our souls into beautiful,

Wonderful human beings,

No matter what has happened to us.

But the focus has to stop being so much on the externals and far more on working our internal thoughts,

Reflections,

And dreams.

Let me ask you a question,

An important question.

You've been given one life and two empires to build,

The world around you and the world within you.

Which will you prioritize and what are you willing to pay for it?

Both empires require something of you.

They require your time,

They require your effort,

They require your discipline.

But when we focus on our internal empire,

Then we'll find that no matter what happens in our lives,

We're going to do well.

The external conquest of the world is fleeting,

Is precarious,

And often destructive.

When we work on our internal conquest of our own hearts,

We will find that our lives go so much better.

And no matter what happens to us externally,

We will be well.

Because at the deepest level of understanding,

We'll find that all has been well,

All is well,

And all will be well.

Because in our hearts we realize life is a beautiful adventure that we embrace,

That we love,

And that we are so thankful for.

Thank you for joining me on the Happiness Podcast.

Until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

Wonderful as always 🙏

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Love these talks!

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Thank you. Really resonated right now, and love all of your recordings