Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.
I'm Dr.
Robert Puff.
If you're new to this podcast,
Or you've been listening for a while,
Today's episode is a pretty important one.
It's important for two reasons.
One is because it really focuses on the key elements of how to make our lives better,
More peaceful,
More happy.
But more importantly and secondarily,
We're going to focus on how to do it.
How do we increase our level of happiness?
How do we make our lives better when we're struggling?
I think we'll find if we implement today's episode in our lives,
We will begin to see truly changes that will be life transformational.
We need to keep doing them.
But if we do,
I think this in many ways is a cornerstone of making our lives better on a very pragmatic,
Practical level.
And it has two parts to it.
And they're both in the title of this episode,
The happiness list,
And we become what we contemplate.
First,
We really do become what we contemplate,
What we think about all day long.
This shapes our reality.
This shapes our experiences.
This shapes our feelings.
This shapes how we interact with the world.
Most people have a tendency to think that the external world is what matters.
How's our life going right now?
But really,
That's irrelevant because we all can think of examples,
Innumerable examples,
Where two people face the exact same thing and one turns it into growth and the second person turns it into despair.
It's all how we think about how we contemplate things that truly shapes who we are.
For example,
I know we all know people who've gone through divorce and we know some of them come out of it and are really struggling.
And they may struggle to their dying breath.
They didn't see the divorce coming.
They didn't prepare for it.
And they thought it was a tragedy,
A tragedy that they needed to hang on to until their dying breath.
And yet we know other people who've gone through a divorce and come out of it doing well,
Better than they've ever done.
A dear friend of mine shared how after she got divorced,
Her kids were so shocked about her behavior because they discovered that she was a happy,
Fun mom when she was married to her ex-husband.
She wasn't.
And if you have been listening to this podcast for a while now,
You know that's what it boils down to.
It boils down to how do we contemplate our lives?
What do we think?
How do we interpret events?
Do we make them negative?
Do we make them positive?
Are we neutral?
It all really gets down to not what's happening in life,
But how we interact with our minds with life.
How do we contemplate what's happening in our lives?
And this may make complete sense to us right now as we listen to this,
But it's another thing to do it.
And how do we do it?
And that's what today's podcast is all about.
How do we make what we contemplate something good?
How do we make it so our mind is steeping itself and positive,
Beautiful thoughts throughout the day that help us to be more peaceful,
That encourages us to find more happiness throughout the day?
Because what happens is if we leave our minds to its own devices,
Whatever habits we have in place up to this point in our lives,
Our minds will most likely go back to those habits.
So if we tend to be negative,
If we tend to be critical,
If we tend to be depressed,
We may hear one of these podcasts and be really inspired.
But unless we proactively do something,
We're going to go back to our habits because we,
Our minds,
Are creatures of habit.
And in today's episode,
We're going to work on how to change that because I deeply believe we can.
We can change habits,
Any habits,
Into far more healthy,
Positive ones.
It takes work.
It takes effort because we're creating change and change always requires work and effort.
But once we start creating this change and put things in place that really increase our level of happiness and peace,
Then what will happen is throughout the day,
Our natural instinct will be going to these new conditioned responses,
These ones that cause us to find peace and happiness throughout the day.
So let's talk about how we pragmatically do that.
So it really boils down to that statement that's in the title of this podcast.
We become what we contemplate.
It's that simple.
Whatever we're contemplating throughout the day,
That's what we're going to become.
So what I've done for decades,
It is probably one of my main things that I do to make sure that my life goes well on a regular basis.
And no matter what's being thrown at me,
I adjust very well to things and land on my feet and find peace and happiness in my life is what I call the happiness list.
You can call it whatever you want,
But what we're going to do is work on creating a list somewhere.
I do it on my phone,
So it's with me all the time,
But a list that we can look at perhaps once,
Twice,
Several times throughout the day that we can look at and contemplate truths,
Truths that we want to live by,
Truths that we find will make our lives go better.
And if we contemplate these things on a regular basis,
What will happen is we'll begin to reshape our minds,
Reshape our minds so that when they interact,
When they contemplate with the world,
It is far more peaceful,
Far more happy in regards to what's happening.
We'll see things in a way that makes our lives go beautifully instead of down paths of negativity and despair.
So what we're going to do is we're going to start collecting phrases,
Ideas,
Concepts that we find really are beautiful.
I'm going to share some of my own from my list,
And I want all of us to start creating a list,
A list of very important things that we believe will help us have beautiful lives no matter what and right now.
And that list we look at on a regular basis.
And what we'll find is with time,
That list will begin to reshape our brains into the lives that we truly want to live,
That are beautiful,
That are peaceful,
That are happy.
But we need to keep going back to the list on a regular basis,
Basically until the day we die,
To make sure we're reinforcing the areas that we're struggling with.
And that's another aspect of the list.
There'll be key ideas,
Key phrases on our list that we're going to look at throughout our lives.
But as we grow,
As we develop,
We're going to discover that certain areas of our lives we're struggling with.
And that list is going to be things to help us undo these struggles.
For example,
Let's say we struggle with financial worries,
Then our list is going to have things that address this worry.
We may have on our list,
Money worries are wasteful energy,
I can adapt to anything.
And we continue to put phrases like this on our list,
Things to help us counter the ways we struggle with money.
Or let's say we struggle with anger,
We may come up with phrases that encourage us to pause before we respond to other people when they make us angry.
Now you may be thinking,
This is silly.
How could reading phrases on a regular basis change my behavior?
Well,
If you ever meet anyone that's really successful in the world's eyes,
I mean,
Regards to money or career,
Whatever it may be,
My guess is you're going to find they have what's called a goal list.
This is a list that they look at regularly to work towards new goals,
Because they know that what they focus on,
They will most likely have a lot more likely chance of it occurring than if they focus on negative things and failure.
And let's say you think that goals are just silly,
Because you know,
A lot of people have goals and fail.
Well,
Think of this one,
What about AA or 12 step?
These are people that have spent their entire lives struggling with alcoholism or drug addiction.
And before AA came along,
They really struggled and most likely never were able to break that habit.
But millions of people around the world are able not to use because of the help of 12 step and AA meetings and NA meetings.
And they work because again,
They are given a lot of phrases,
A lot of things to contemplate on a regular basis.
And they really go to meetings and they keep repeating these phrases over and over again.
If you've ever met someone who's regularly attending AA,
You know there's a lot of phrases they have,
But they contemplate on a regular basis to help them not use a lot of drugs and alcohol and it works.
But our list isn't about reaching goals,
Financial or success goals.
Our list isn't about stopping to use alcohol or drugs.
Our list is about how to be happy,
How to find peace in our lives and truly live exquisite lives,
No matter what's happening.
This is our list.
This is our goals.
And we do that by creating a list,
Writing things down that we find really help us to improve our lives and live these lives that are so exquisite.
And we look at our list on a daily basis,
On a regular basis,
Perhaps even throughout the day,
To remind us to reinforce in our minds that this is a path to happiness.
This is a path to peace.
And if we keep doing it on a regular basis,
What we're going to find,
Because this method works,
Is that our lives are going to get better.
Now if we don't do this,
Whatever was in place,
Whatever is in place,
Will just come back.
So it is important if we're struggling to be committed towards this list and looking at it regularly,
Really to the day we die,
Because it's going to help reinforce what we're thinking about contemplating all day long.
We are what we contemplate.
So if we contemplate beautiful things,
Things that help us to be happy,
To be at peace,
Then what will happen is,
With time,
That will become our natural state.
With time,
When we face challenging situations,
We'll have things in place that help us to make the right response that leads us down a path of happiness.
So I'd like to end with sharing a few of mine.
I think you'll find that they're very different than goals.
They're not about success.
They're not about external greatness.
They're about peace.
They're about happiness right now,
Which we can all have.
So here's a few of mine.
All is well.
Life is impermanent,
So just flow and expect change.
Today is my last day on earth.
Live in the present moment completely,
And the future will take care of itself.
Fully enjoy the wonder and beauty of each instant.
Be content with what you have.
Rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
The whole world belongs to you.
We become what we contemplate.
So these are some of mine.
May you too begin to create your list,
And if you find some really good gems,
Send them my way.
I love to hear what you find.
My email address is drpuff at cox.
Net.
Peace.
Thank you for joining me on the Happiness Podcast.
Besides creating this podcast,
There are a variety of other things that I do.
If you'd like to keep abreast of these activities,
And perhaps someday we may be able to meet in person,
Just go to www.
Happinesspodcast.
Org.
That's happinesspodcast.
Org.
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And if you do,
You'll be emailed a free PDF copy of my meditation book called Reflections on Meditation.
Until next time,
Accept what is,
Love what is.
