The Happiness Diet

In this episode, we explore the methods for finding happiness via the Happiness Diet. To understand what brings us happiness and what keeps it away, we must understand that every aspect of our lives contribute to a feeling of happiness. (Please note, this is podcast, not a guided meditation.)

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

In today's episode,

We're going to talk about the similarities between finding a healthy balance of our weight and how this is similar to finding happiness in a balanced way in our lives.

Well,

What are the components that affect both our weight and our happiness?

Well,

As we probably all know,

There are people out there that just really don't struggle with weight.

They tend to have a genetic predisposition just to be at the right weight for themselves.

And I think the same is true for people that are happy.

Some people out there just are naturally happy.

They have like a genetic predisposition to be happy.

They don't have to work at it.

They don't have to fight it.

They just wake up happy.

That though,

For both weight and happiness,

Probably isn't going to be most of us,

Particularly if we're listening to this podcast.

So we can put that one aside,

Realizing there are people out there like that.

And there's nothing wrong with the way they are,

But we are the way we are.

And we're going to work on being happier.

And then there are a few people out there that had really good upbringings.

Their parents fed them in a very healthy way.

They taught them how to eat well,

To exercise and take care of themselves.

Similarly,

There are parents out there that did a really good job raising happy,

Healthy children.

They just taught them well,

Modeled for them well,

And their kids have tools in place to deal with unhappiness,

To deal with sadness in a very happy,

Constructive way.

But again,

There's nothing wrong with this.

It's a really great thing.

But for most of us,

This was not our experience.

We have to learn the skills to be happy.

That's why we're here.

That's why we're studying the aspects of the happiness podcast.

And now there are over 180 episodes of specific ways that we can improve our lives and find happiness right now.

And this is where the comparison to weight loss is very similar to happiness.

In regards to weight loss,

There are some really great diets out there,

Really great plans to be healthy,

Ways to lose our weight and ways to keep that weight off to stay healthy and keep our weight at an optimal spot.

And though there are very complicated diets out there,

Ultimately it's going to boil down to two main things.

One is to exercise more and the other is to eat less and then keep doing that in order to keep the weight at an optimal spot.

Yet here in the US,

Where I live,

I was researching online the number of people that are just overweight,

Not necessarily obese,

But overweight.

And one study showed that three fourths,

That's 75% of people in the United States are overweight.

That's a lot of people.

And I think if you go out and really watch people,

Not that they're obese,

But they could lose some weight.

There are a lot of people that fall in that category.

Similarly,

I looked online looking for research studies on happiness and I found a Harris poll that showed that in regards to happiness and just being overall happy,

Only 31% of the people here in the United States reported being happy.

But I think we need to be a little bit more careful in regards to happiness self-evaluations,

Because when we think about weight,

We can just observe a person,

Put them on the scale and see if they're overweight or not.

But in regards to happiness,

I think we can get pretty good at deluding ourselves thinking that everything's going fine as long as we come home and can have that bottle of wine every night.

Or we could be an investment banker living in a beautiful home,

But then we face a lawsuit and we commit suicide.

So we can always predict happiness based upon just self-evaluation.

But overall,

I do believe that losing weight and finding happiness have a lot in common.

In regards to losing weight,

If it's so easy,

If we just have to exercise and eat less,

Why don't we just do it?

We like the way we feel when we have those sleek,

Well-formed bodies in good shape and overall our health is better when we keep our weight down.

So why don't we do it?

Again,

The answer is fairly simple.

We don't do it because we don't feel like doing it.

It's really that simple.

We as humans have the real tendency to do what we feel like.

But if we feel like it isn't good for us,

We're still going to do it because we don't get the effects of delayed gratification.

We want what we want right now.

I mean,

We see little kids doing it all the time.

They just want that dessert.

They don't care that they haven't had their veggies yet.

They just want the dessert.

But we as adults think,

Well,

That's silly,

But we're not that different.

We have a long day.

We're tired and we just don't feel like going to the gym.

We'd rather come home and have a few glasses of wine or perhaps we have that special treat that we keep in the cupboard just for those times where we're feeling down or low.

I mean,

They're just habits,

Habits that we have in place that we take care of and do when we feel a certain way or we just like them.

We know we need to be on that diet,

But those french fries are just so good.

So much of our weight or the excess of weight is there because we just don't do the things we need to do to lose the weight because we don't feel like it.

We feel like doing other things.

So we do them.

Period.

I know this is a little simplistic,

But let's go ahead and relate it to happiness right now.

Why aren't we happy?

Well,

Over the past 180 episodes,

I've created what I would call a really,

Really good happiness diet.

I mean,

If we do these things,

We're going to be happy.

For example,

Being kind to others and not lashing out.

For example,

Living in the present moment.

For example,

Letting go of our attachments and realizing that everything is a gift.

I mean,

There's many things that I've taught here that if we apply,

We'll work and they'll make us happy.

The key is we just don't do them.

And why don't we do them?

Because we don't feel like it.

For example,

We know because of impermanence,

We have to be very careful with our attachments,

But yet we come home every day.

We open up our computer,

We look into our accounts and make sure that there's enough money in there to make us feel secure.

And when that goes down,

We don't do well and we become unhappy.

We know we shouldn't look,

But we do because we feel like looking.

Or we're going through or perhaps being threatened with a breakup or divorce.

And we know we're not supposed to create stories about that,

Live in the present moment and realize that we need to flow with life,

Even with the changes.

But instead we create stories in our head about everything's going to be terrible.

Life's going to be awful.

And why is this happening to me?

And because our thoughts are steeping themselves in negativity,

We're going to feel negative,

Poorly,

Unhappy.

Now this one's a little bit trickier because it's the same issue.

We're doing it because we feel like it.

But Dr.

Puff,

Why would I feel like being unhappy?

Just look at people,

Look at yourself.

When we get unhappy,

It's like a vicious cycle.

It feeds on itself and we like the feeling of being unhappy.

I know it sounds kind of crazy because it kind of is,

But that's what we do.

We like the unhappiness because for whatever reason we think we deserve it,

We think it makes sense.

It's just the way things are.

But negativity,

Depression feeds on itself and it keeps feeding on itself and it keeps looking for reasons to feed on itself.

So once we go down that path of delving into negativity,

It is self perpetuating.

And the only way to stop it is to literally change our thinking,

Think about other things and redirect our thoughts.

It's work,

It's effort.

And we don't like to do that because we don't feel like doing that.

It's just easier to do what we've been doing.

The momentum is there,

It's in place and we don't want to change it.

These are habits we have in place.

Like people that struggle with food may come home and eat a bag of chips every day just because it's a habit.

It's what they're used to doing.

And habits are incredibly strong.

Whatever habit we have in place,

It's just self perpetuating.

And the longer it's been there,

The more it is going to be in place.

Again,

That saying,

It's hard to teach old dogs new tricks.

There's a lot of truth to that saying.

The longer we've done something,

The more it has momentum,

The more it's going to be in place.

So changing these habits is going to take a lot of work and we're not going to feel like it.

But here's the good news.

I know this may have been a little bit depressing so far,

But the good news is we can change.

We can change habits,

Any habits,

No matter what age we are,

No matter how long they've been in place.

Mind you,

They're going to take effort.

So if we're looking for a diet that's going to work without any effort,

That's not going to happen.

Same way with happiness.

If we're looking for that magic pill that's going to make us happy and going to work,

That's not going to happen.

It's going to take work.

It's going to take effort.

But if we keep in mind our goal of,

I want to be happy.

I want to have a beautiful life.

And that's our focus.

So when that desire,

That thing that we normally do kicks in,

We say,

Yes,

I could do that right now.

But instead I want to work towards being happy.

So instead I'm going to do this.

So the happiness diet in the end is going to look much like the weight diet.

We're going to have some things in place in regards to weight that are already good.

We may eat salads every day.

We may drink a lot of water.

We may come home and go for a walk every day.

We may have things in place for our weight that are good.

We just have these other habits that aren't so good.

Those are the ones we need to work on.

It's the same way in regards to happiness.

We're going to have some things in place that are good.

Those we don't need to change.

We need to change the things that aren't working.

The previous episodes describe exactly what we need to do in order to be happy.

And I deeply believe and know that they will work.

We have to do them,

But they're going to work.

So we have to listen to the previous podcasts,

Decide the ones that we aren't doing very well.

For example,

Perhaps we're not kind.

Perhaps we lash out of people or perhaps we don't set boundaries.

Perhaps we have too many attachments.

We have to decide which ones we're struggling with.

And then that's where we give our focus.

And then we focus on them until guess what?

They become the new habit.

Habits are just habits,

Good or bad.

So once we have these new habits in place,

We're not going to struggle with them anymore.

But the wonderful thing about happiness is we can keep refining it.

We can keep getting better at it.

Unlike weight,

Yeah,

We can keep our weight down,

But our bodies are going to age.

No matter how hard we work on our bodies,

It's not going to remain that 25 year old body.

It's just not.

But with happiness,

I actually believe and know that we can keep improving it to our dying breath.

For example,

I've gotten quite good at being kind with my words.

I almost rarely ever lash out in anger or in any way towards others with my words.

I'm very careful about what comes on my mouth,

Making sure it's kind,

Making sure it's loving.

But I realized that sure,

I could do it that way.

But am I doing it in my thoughts?

They may not know what I'm thinking,

But what am I thinking?

I know what I'm thinking.

Don't I want to have the same actions there?

Where yeah,

I don't say anything,

But if I'm thinking them,

They're still there.

So then I started working on not thinking negative thoughts about other people.

And that has been a refinement.

We can keep refining our happiness skills till the day we die.

I so deeply believe and know that.

So why don't we on our course of life really learn to live as magnificently as we can?

Because I think it's the one thing that we really get the most reward for.

I mean,

We're really doing everything else to be happy.

Why not just work on being happy?

The skills are here,

Try them and then keep refining them and then just keep on working them till our very dying breath.

I believe any of us can have beautiful lives.

It's work.

It is,

But it's worth the work.

So let's commit,

Let's work on it and let's work on it every day so that we keep improving throughout our lives.

Thank you for joining me on the happiness podcast.

If you are finding these episodes helpful,

I would love for you to share your experience with others.

The easiest way for new people to listen to this podcast is just refer them to www.

Happinesspodcast.

Org.

That's happinesspodcast.

Org.

Or if you want to do more and leave a review on that site,

You'll find a Yelp link,

A Google plus link,

A testimonial link,

Or perhaps even the site you're listening to this podcast on.

Often you can leave reviews there too.

The reviews are an awesome way to encourage people to start listening to the happiness podcast.

And until next time,

Love what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

I loved every minute of this♥️you have such a sweet, soothing, beautiful voice.
Thank you🙏🏽I will come back over and over again🤗

Always love Dr Robert Puff! Speaks so much sense. Thank you!

Interesting and good information. Very short and quick to listen and understand the important ideas.

Dr Puff, what an awesome podcast you have on Happiness! I’ve used a lot of the tips you give in your podcast & they definitely work!!

Always helpful. 🌿

Really enjoyed this. Thank you. Quite a few thought nuggets to take away too,