Living With Mental Illness

Mental illness strikes a lot of people in our world. How can we love those who struggle? If it is us, how do we love ourselves?

In this episode of the Happiness Podcast, Dr. Puff shares ways on how we can make our and others' lives better and how to find peace and equanimity with mental illness.

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

I'm not sure where I heard it,

But there's a saying out there that goes,

Before I was enlightened,

I used to be depressed.

Now that I'm enlightened,

I'm still depressed.

But it's not the same.

We all may not be aware of it,

But there are people out there that are diagnosed with clinical depression,

Or anxiety,

Or borderline personality disorder,

Or narcissism.

There's a lot of different things out there that people struggle with.

And though many of them are actively doing things to improve their lives,

It's still hard.

Very hard.

Now some people out there believe that this depression,

This psychological struggle,

Is something they're born with.

They have a genetic predisposition towards,

And there's really nothing they can do about those genetics.

And other people don't agree with that statement.

But nonetheless,

There are lots of people who struggle with depression,

With things like sadness,

That there isn't much they can do about,

Or at least do much about very easily.

For those of us listening to the Happiness Podcast,

We may implement the changes that I suggest here,

And find that our lives are greatly improved.

Others may find that it's still hard,

The depression,

The anxiety,

The fears are still there,

Even when they are implementing these changes.

And in today's podcast,

I want to address people who do struggle with more clinically,

Biologically prone depression,

Or sadness,

Or anxiety.

These are things that people struggle with,

That they do a lot of things to improve upon.

Sometimes they take medication,

Sometimes they get into therapy,

Sometimes they're involved with support groups.

But even with all this,

It can still be hard for some people to find that overall joy and happiness on a regular basis.

The depression,

The sadness may still be there.

And that's what we're going to address today.

Finding peace,

Finding equanimity,

Even when the depression is still there.

I do think there's a tendency to judge people like this,

To say,

Well just get over it,

You know,

What's your problem?

And that is not helpful,

It's not kind,

And it won't make them feel any better.

And it's good for us to be kind,

It's good for us not to judge.

We don't know their experiences,

We weren't born with their genetics,

And there are a lot of psychological disorders out there that research is showing have strong genetic predispositions towards them.

There isn't much initially that the person can do about these feelings they have.

Sometimes these overwhelming feelings of life being hard.

And as always,

Kindness is a very good way to address problems.

Problems that we see in other people,

And especially problems or struggles that we see in ourselves.

Judging ourselves for being depressed,

Judging ourselves for being anxious,

Is not helpful.

We wouldn't,

I hope,

Judge someone who is born with Type 1 diabetes,

And has had it their entire life.

We of course would want them to take medication to improve their lives,

To do things that would make them healthy.

But that is their choice,

That is not ours.

It isn't ours to judge them,

It is ours to love them.

And if you are someone born with diabetes,

I hope you wouldn't judge yourself for that.

That would not seem very kind.

If you said you would say,

Okay,

This is a disability that I was born with,

How do I make my life great,

Even with this being there?

And we can,

Any of us can,

No matter how hard our lives are,

No matter what we've been born with,

No matter what we've been exposed to,

We can make it better.

And that's what I want to talk about today.

When we struggle with things like clinical depression,

Or borderline personality disorder,

Or manic depression,

There are so many things that there are genetic predispositions towards,

And we may now be struggling with these type of issues,

These type of psychological struggles.

But again,

What I believe is,

No matter what we're going through,

Because it isn't always psychological,

There can be physical struggles,

There can be situations that arise that cause us to be anxious or depressed.

There are many things that affect our lives.

But the question is,

Whatever we're struggling with,

How do we improve our lives,

Even with these struggles facing us?

Well,

The first thing we want to start with is awareness.

Awareness is that magical thing that we can do that is so helpful.

Just being aware that we have a tendency towards clinical depression or anxiety or anger,

Whatever it may be,

That we can be aware of that can be so helpful,

Because then we can say,

Oh,

Right now I'm feeling depressed because this thing often causes me depression.

And that's helpful.

That awareness allows it to soften a bit.

Even the awareness that I was born with clinical depression,

It runs in my family.

My parents had it,

My grandparents had it,

My siblings have it.

And so there's a softening,

Softening in the sense of part two is not to judge ourselves,

To be aware of what's there,

But not to judge it.

The more instead of saying,

Okay,

I get it,

This is what's here right now,

Judging that feeling that I'm having,

That sensation that I'm experiencing,

It isn't helpful.

It's better to just look at it objectively and then say,

With that objectivity,

Is there possibly anything I can do to change it?

And often,

Just by being aware that I'm not that fill in the blank,

Like clinical depression,

I'm experiencing clinical depression,

But I'm not a clinically depressed person.

It's like someone having diabetes and saying,

I do have diabetes,

But I'm not a diabetic person.

If we don't identify with our diagnosis,

It softens it.

It makes us less identify with it,

And it allows us to live in the present moment through the awareness of watching,

Of that childlike watching of things around us.

Now,

We may watch our clinical depression,

True,

But by not identifying with it,

It softens it.

It allows it to not take on an identity.

Instead,

It's something that we observe,

But if we're observing it,

We can observe something else too.

So,

With that clinical depression is there,

Or the anger is there,

We can instead focus on something else for a little while.

And just by focusing on something else,

It does soften it,

And it's a very kind way to treat ourselves.

People in a wheelchair don't want to think that the world sees them as only a person in a wheelchair.

Instead,

They want to be seen as a person.

I'm sure most of us remember the President of the United States,

Franklin D.

Roosevelt.

He was President during World War II,

And he was the 32nd President of the United States,

And he died in 1945.

He was actively involved in ending World War II,

And that's what we remember him by.

But at the same time,

He was in a wheelchair during his presidency,

And yet this didn't define him or make him any less of a President.

In the same way,

If we can neutralize psychological disorders and say,

Yes,

I know they're hard,

Being in a wheelchair is hard too,

But it doesn't have to define who we are.

If we struggle with anxiety,

With depression,

With fears,

Fill-in-the-blank schizophrenia,

Auditory voices,

Alcoholism,

Disease,

Whatever it may be,

We don't have to be defined by that.

It is something that we actively work on getting better,

Of course,

But it may be something that lingers through the rest of our lives that we have to live with.

The key,

Though,

Is even though we're aware of it,

Even though we're working towards changing it and improving it,

If it is something we have to live with,

We can still have beautiful lives because even though it's there,

We're not that.

The identification with whatever we're struggling with gives it power,

Gives it strength to hurt us.

Instead,

If we say,

Yes,

This is something that I have,

But it doesn't define me,

I am more than that,

And I may take this to my grave and struggle with it to my last day,

But I can still,

Throughout my life,

By being present,

By always finding something beautiful to be with,

That my life can keep getting better.

And by doing that,

It just does.

Things begin to change.

And again,

The depression may be there,

But because we're not giving up,

We'll do things that improve it.

And if we do things that improve it,

It will get better.

It may be there,

But it will be better.

And what happens is when we lose hope,

When we throw in the towel,

And using the example of diabetes,

Sometimes people get diabetes and they just don't care.

They just give up,

And their lives are much harder than someone says,

Yes,

I have diabetes,

But there are things that I can do,

Things that I can do to improve my life and still have a beautiful life with diabetes.

Or mental illness.

I mean,

We all know that there are people living on the streets with mental illness,

But there also are people with psychologically diagnosed mental illness that still function and do well in our world and have good lives.

When we don't lose hope,

When we don't identify with whatever we're struggling with,

Instead observing it,

Saying what can I do to improve it,

Do those improvements,

But if they're small and only incremental,

We still say it's okay.

I know this is what I've been given in life because I don't fight with it so strongly.

It won't have so much power over me.

It's the fighting with our struggles that give them power.

Remember how I always end this podcast,

Accept what is,

Love what is?

Well,

Acceptance and love what is isn't always something we're going to like.

I mean,

If we struggle with paranoia,

If we struggle with depression,

We may live with that for the rest of our lives.

But if we accept that,

Yes,

It comes,

It goes,

But I can still have pockets of time that are beautiful.

And just the acceptance of whatever it is I'm struggling with,

With a lot in my life,

It living with pain,

I can still have a beautiful life,

Even if it's psychological pain.

It's when we struggle and we fight the things that we often don't do as well in life.

Again,

This isn't about giving up.

This is about acceptance and then doing the things we can do to get whatever we're struggling with better.

And when that doesn't change in the way we expect or want it to,

We don't give up,

We just keep working towards getting better,

And we love the other parts of our life because whatever we are struggling with,

It is only one part of a vast array of things that we identify with and can partake in in our lives.

And being aware that this one thing I struggle with doesn't have to define me because there are so many things in my life that shape who I am.

And realizing that plethora of events that throughout our lives keep being created over and over again.

That if we realize we can identify with other things at times when the one thing is harder,

And that we can do things to make the one thing that's hard easier,

Perhaps because we haven't given up,

And we realize that we do have some power,

There are things that we can do to change this,

And we work towards change.

But when change doesn't happen today,

And the depression is still there,

It's just not the same.

So may we not judge others for their struggles,

And if we're struggling,

May we be kind towards ourselves,

And with that gentleness,

With that acceptance,

Find that our lives are a little bit better each day.

Thank you for joining me on the Happiness Podcast.

Besides creating this podcast,

There are a variety of other things that I do.

If you'd like to keep abreast of these activities,

And perhaps someday we may be able to meet in person,

Just go to www.

Happinesspodcast.

Org.

That's happinesspodcast.

Org.

You can subscribe to my newsletter,

And if you do,

You'll be emailed a free PDF copy of my meditation book called Reflections on Meditation.

And until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

Very helpful and I only one other talk on insight timer like this. Thank you

So true. Good to hear this again as a reminder. Struggling with SAD.

Thank you so much for this positivity and hope and perspective.

Very interesting points made, thank you!

Really helpful perspective on accepting challenges but still finding happiness.

Great talk. Thank you for reminding us that we don't need to be identified by any diagnosis we have.

What a lovely talk infused with kindness and understanding as well as some good advice on helping mental illness. Thank you. (Those who understand and are compassionate towards mental illness are few and far between)! 🙏🏻🕊🙏🏻🌹

Wonderfully presented Dr. Puff.
Thank you and Namaste 🙏🏻🦋