Getting Back To Happiness

On our daily journey towards creating contentment and happiness in our lives, we get off course and suffer. In this talk, we explore ways to get back on and stay on track.

Please note that this is a talk, not a guided meditation.

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast. I'm Dr. Robert Puff. Being or getting overweight is a struggle for a lot of people around the world. Here in the U. S. , About a third of the people struggle with severe obesity, Another third struggle with being overweight, Which means that two-thirds of the people in the U. S. Struggle with their weight. And of course, This podcast isn't about an American diet of how to lose weight. But I do believe there are things that we can learn about living a healthy lifestyle when it comes to our diet, Because I believe the three components of a healthy diet are very similar to three components of living a happy, Contented life. But what are these three components of a healthy diet? Well, The first two you probably will know because they're very common. One is exercise, And the second one is eating healthy foods and eating the right amount of them. But the third component I think is less talked about, And yet is equally as important as the first two, Exercise and what we eat. I'm not sure if there's a name for it, So I'm going to call it, Don't give up or get back on track. Because this is the thing that I've seen that happens to so many people when they work on being healthy. They're doing well, Things are going well. They're exercising, They're eating healthy, But then a day comes when they get off track. They may have too big of a dessert, They may not exercise for a few days, And when they get off track, It's like their mind says, Well, I'm off, What difference does it make anymore? I'm just going to go ahead and eat whatever I want or do whatever I want. It doesn't matter because I'm already off track. Now mind you, They're not off track very much, But they're off track. And so they, In a sense, Throw on the towel and give up. It's too hard, It's too difficult, Where it really is just a day or two they got off, And now it's time to get back on the track. They need to continue to exercise, And they need to continue to eat healthy foods. And then they'll find that their health will get back to normal, And they'll find that their body will do better. But this is the hard one. When we get off, When we're not doing well, It's so easy just to give up. And so we just do things then that are not very good for us, Because it seems too hard. We miss the sweets, We miss the high fat foods, We miss just laying around and not moving our bodies, Because it feels good. These things do feel good. And we like them, And we'd rather do them than have a healthy body, At least in the short term. And then for many of us, After so long of giving up and not trying anymore, It just feels like it's too hard, Because we've lost that momentum of being healthy. And so now, Doing the things that we got to the point that we were able to do, Are now very hard to do. And so we struggle with our weight. And I believe the concepts in regards to losing weight and staying physically healthy are very similar to finding happiness and contentment in our lives. Let's start with exercise. How does exercise compare to being happy? Well, It's about what we do throughout the day. Are we treating others with kindness? Or when someone cuts us off, Are we screaming at them and exercising unhealthy behavior? Are we in our interactions with people, Saying things that are helpful and uplifting? Or are we cutting them down and hurting them? Are we, Throughout the day, Doing things that are good for our soul, Like being in nature and surrounding ourselves with positive people? Or do we hang out now with negative people and talk about other people or things that really aren't good for our physical souls? Think of exercise as things that we physically do throughout the day to build ourselves up or tear ourselves down. For example, Are we in a relationship right now that is building us up? Are we in a relationship that we participate in that is tearing us or others down? Are we going to a work that we find purpose and meaning at? Or do we go to a work that we truly hate and focus on the negativity of our job? First part of the happiness diet is doing things that are good for us, Getting out and meditating, Watching sunsets, Spending time with people that are beautiful in the inside and have such gentle, Peaceful souls, Choosing to do things that, After we're done, Really fill us up and make us feel better. I mean, Think about exercise. When we exercise, It may hurt a little bit to do it, But afterwards we feel so good. It's similar in regards to happiness. We're doing things that afterwards make us feel so good that we're actively participating in to improve our lives. There are so many different things that we can do that improve us and put a smile on our hearts. But are we actively pursuing them? Are we just letting life unfold and happen, Whatever happens? I think when it comes to exercise with our diets, And I think when it comes to exercise in regards to being happy, We have to be proactive and ask ourselves, Is this improving me? Is this making me better? Or is this tearing me down and getting me out of happiness shape? May I suggest a technique, If you're new to this, That can be really helpful in coming up with happiness exercises. It's about exploring, Trying different things and say, Okay, I'm going to start trying different things. And then after I do them, I'm going to ask myself, Is this something that is adding to my contentment or happiness or is it tearing me down? And it really isn't this hard to discover what they are. Our souls, Our minds, Our experiences will tell us, Yes, This is good. This put a smile on my heart. Over the years, I've worked with so many people, Encouraging them to both meditate or get in nature or watch a sunset. There's just so many beautiful things that we can do. And when they do them, I never have anyone come back and say, That was horrible, That was terrible. They always come back and say, That was wonderful, Particularly if they stick with it. At first meditating or even being in nature where it's quiet can be hard because we're so unused to it. But with time, It makes a lot of sense. They'll say, Okay, I get it. There might be some good here. I'm going to keep working on that. And we'll discover that it's not that it's hard to do, That it's harmful. It's more that we just have to get used to it. It's a lot like exercise, When we haven't exercised for years and we start, We're going to be a little uncomfortable. But with time, Our bodies get used to it. And we like it. And so, Again, Creating that list, Studying what people do that is good for their soul, And then do that. And like exercise, Do it on a very regular basis. Okay, Part two is eating the right foods. And that would be about what do we take in all day long? What are we exposing ourselves to? What are we, In a sense, Mentally eating? What shows are we watching? What conversations are we participating in? What are we exposing ourselves to on the internet? There's so many ways that our minds are being exposed to things. We have to ask ourselves, Is this good for us? Or is this not good for us? Again, It's like having an apple or having a piece of candy. We all know which is better for us. But the candy can taste good, So we go with the candy. It's like that. We may know that it's not good for us to spend hours watching the news, Particularly when the world is in crisis. But yeah, It's like an addiction. It's like we got to have it because it tastes so good initially. But in the long run, After we watch hours of the news, We start feeling horrible inside. Because what we expose ourselves to is a lot like what we eat. Whatever we eat, Our body consumes, Processes, Puts throughout our whole body, And then expels. Our minds really work the same way. They're really neutral, But whatever we expose ourselves to, That becomes what they absorb and take in and have to process. And so if we expose ourselves to things that are negative over and over again, Then our bodies, Our minds are going to get used to that and become negative because of what we're feeding our souls mentally. Here's an example of that. I remember once I was going on a backpack for a week up in the High Sierras, And I didn't take any electronics with me. But before I left, I was listening to some songs in my car. Well when I got on the trailhead, I remember it took about two or three days for those songs to stop playing in my head. So whatever we feed our minds does keep playing and keeps going on and on. It's like eating whatever we eat goes through our body and affects us. Whatever we think about, Whatever we expose ourselves to affects us. Think of it this way, If we've ever watched, Say, A scary or an intense movie, We may that night have dreams about that event. I'm sure we've all had that experience, And we can't figure out, Wow, That was an intense dream. But then when we think about it, The dream was about the movie that we watched just before we went to bed. Our minds are like that. So we have to ask ourselves, What are we feeding our minds? Because they're going to keep playing whatever we feed them. And so we can tell what we're feeding our minds by how we feel. If we're feeling discontent, We're feeling angry, If we're feeling anxious, We're feeding ourselves those thoughts. In a similar way, Once we learn to feed ourselves happiness, Peace, Kindness, Beauty, Those are what's going to fill our souls. And we're going to find that what comes from that is a beautiful life. But just a reminder, Like with eating, Whatever we eat, Our bodies have to process. Whatever we expose ourselves to, Good or bad, Our minds have to process. So if we can work towards exposing ourselves to things that are healthy for our minds, More positive, More uplifting, From music to conversations to shows to pretty much everything we expose ourselves to, We have to ask ourselves, Is this feeding my soul or is it tearing my soul down? And then we move to part three, Which is not giving up. I think what happens with diets is that it gets hard, We forget, And then we just say, Screw it, I give up. So instead, Could we say, Nope, I'm not going to give up, I'm going to keep trying. Perhaps right now, I'm a 400 pound couch potato, But I want to improve my life. I'm going to start eating better and exercising, Which means I'm mentally, If I'm a 400 pound grouch or unhappy person, There's a lot I have to do to make changes. And there's a lot of things that I'm going to be uncomfortable with. I may spend all day watching shows of violence or things that are really cutting other people down. And I have to have a diet from them, Take a break from them, Take a fast from these negative things. And that's going to be hard at first, Because one, Our minds get used to them and they are thrilling. It's like comparing a chocolate cake to a salad. The chocolate cake may taste a lot better, But in the short and long term, It's not very good for us, If that's the main thing that we eat. So we have to ask ourselves, Okay, One, I get it. What's going to happen is, I may get in quite good shape. I may be a very content person, Finding happiness in my life, So that my happiness diet is good. But then I get off. And then what do I do? Do I give up? Do I stop trying? Or do I instead say, No, I can do this. Today's a new day. Today's a new moment. I'm going to work towards having my happiness diet and mentally eat well, Physically do things that are good for my mind. And when I get off and eat that negative chocolate cake, I'm going to say, It's a new day. It's a new moment. I'm not going to give up. I'm going to keep working on doing things that feed my soul and make me a person that I can look in the mirror and say, I like my life. I have found contentment and peace and happiness. And I'm going to keep doing things that help me to create that peace and happiness, Because I know they take work, They take effort. And if I don't know what to do, I'll do things like this. Listen to the Happiness Podcast, Read books and biographies on people that are getting it right, That life is going well for them, And then take on these habits that really work that help me to find contentment and peace each and every moment of my life. And those times I get off, I'm not going to give up. I'm just going to say, Today's a new day. I have my list of things that I know that are so good for me. And though I don't know what the future holds, Today, Right now, I can do them. And I won't give up. I'll surround myself with people that support me. And I'll keep working towards finding contentment and happiness in my life, Because I know if I stay on this happiness diet with really good, Positive, Uplifting exercises, And then with making sure that my mental eating habits are positive and uplifting and good for my soul. And finally, When I get off, I'll just get back on and say, Today's a new day. I'm not giving up. And I'm going to just keep working towards finding that contentment and happiness that I can have throughout my life. Thank you for joining me on the happiness podcast. Until next time, Accept what is, Love what is.

Reviews

Very good to help get stay on track and liked the first person narration

Thank you very much 🙏

I like the concept of a "happiness diet" for my soul. Very helpful. Thank you!

Just what I needed to hear! Thank you!