Finding Purpose In Our Lives

In this insightful and thought provoking podcast we explore the importance of finding purpose in our lives. Dr Puff prompts us to ask philosophical questions and uncover the depth to what comprises our reality and existence. This podcast will help us establish motivation for living the fullest and most contented life.

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

Over the span of three decades now of working with a variety of people,

As a clinical psychologist,

I have learned a few things about people.

One of the biggest things that I've learned is people come in very different types.

And I don't mean shapes and sizes.

I'm talking about they come with questions.

And some people come with very deep questions,

Hard questions,

Like what is their purpose in life?

Why are they here?

And there's other people that really don't seem to worry about that too much.

They just live their life and have bumps along the way and want help with those bumps.

Where it really pronounces with young people,

Again,

Some kids that I work with come in and they just want to play with the toys.

Others will sit across from me at the very same age,

Say they're nine,

10,

Whatever age they may be,

And they just want to talk.

They want to ask questions.

They want to explore things with me to figure out why they're struggling.

It's really amazing how different we are.

I remember once meeting a guy and we were just talking.

He wasn't a client of mine.

He was someone I met.

And we were talking about what we thought about.

I know it sounds funny,

But we were.

And he told me that he never thought about purpose of why he was here.

He just lived his life.

And he never asked deep questions,

Ever.

And I was so surprised because I've spent my life asking deep questions.

We were probably as different mentally in regards to why we're here as possible in regards to purpose,

In regards to asking questions.

And as I said,

I've seen that in so many different people.

Most people fall on the spectrum of not asking many questions.

They just live their life and really don't think about why they're here and their purpose.

But a few people that I meet ask deep questions and really want to know what their purpose is,

Why they're here.

And so I've come up with two theories to make sense of this.

The first one is based upon the statistical bell curve.

Think of it like a hill.

It's high in the middle and it tapers off on both ends.

And as it gets towards each end,

It tapers off much more slowly and just goes on and on forever,

Almost.

And the way this would relate is think of IQ.

When we do IQ tests on people,

The average person has 100 IQ.

But there are some people that are very smart,

Like Albert Einstein,

And they're way on one end of the bell curve.

And there are other people who are very not as smart and they're on the other end of the bell curve.

Now,

Most of us fall in the middle because there aren't that many Albert Einstein's and there aren't that many people that have low IQs.

Well,

In regards to the bell curve,

I think it's the same way in regards to asking questions,

Asking deep questions.

A lot of us go through life and ask a few along the way,

Particularly like when someone we love dies or we get sick or we lose our jobs.

We'll ask questions then.

But mostly we go through life and don't need to know too many answers.

There are some people like that one guy I told you about that never ask a question their entire life.

And there are other people on the other end that pretty much ask questions throughout their life.

They're always asking,

What are we here for?

What is our purpose?

Now another thing that I found helpful in making sense of this is the concept of old soul and new soul.

You probably heard of it before,

But basically what it means is it seems like some people come here with a whole lot more depth to them.

And other people come here that are pretty new.

They really are new souls.

They don't really have questions yet.

They haven't lived enough lives to start asking questions.

And so they're new souls and old souls.

Whether it's true or not,

The concept really makes sense,

Particularly when you work with children or talk with children.

And like I said,

Some children are like,

Wow,

This little kid is deep.

And other children could really care less.

And I don't mean it in a judgmental way.

It's just some people ask a lot of questions and other people can go through life and never ask a question,

Just aren't concerned about deeper questions.

And the concept of old soul,

New soul says that why some people ask so many questions and seem to have so much more depth to them is that they have lived a lot more lives,

Perhaps thousands of them before they came here.

And other people are new souls and they just don't ask those questions.

I know this is just a theory and we may not believe in it,

But it does make a lot of sense and it helps explain why people are so different.

Now our tendency is to be judgmental.

You know,

We're going to judge those people that are new souls.

And I think this is a bad path to go on.

I think a better way to look at it is we're just different and that's okay.

And there isn't always good that comes with being more of this old soul type person.

Let me explain what I mean by that.

It's interesting to me because it really has the same thing to do with IQ,

High IQ.

We've done studies and trying to figure out what correlates with high IQ.

I mean,

Do they make more money?

Do they do better in school?

I mean,

What correlates with high IQ?

And believe it or not,

What a Stanford study found was high IQ correlates with unhappiness,

Depression.

So we may wish we were super smart,

But the studies show that super smart people often are more depressed than the average person.

Now here's the most interesting thing that I've found and I don't think there's any studies on it,

But what I have found,

If you take the IQ concept with spirituality,

With depth,

Is that really deep people,

I think too,

Can really struggle with depression.

When we're asking a lot of questions,

That can lead to depression.

And that's what this podcast is about today.

Most likely,

People listening to this podcast are more on the old soul spectrum than a new soul.

You probably wouldn't even be listening to this if you're a new soul.

I mean,

What would be the purpose?

You don't want to have answers to these questions.

But if you're listening to this podcast,

There's a high probability you're an old soul.

Or put it a different way,

You just ask a lot of questions.

You want answers.

So what does that mean and how would that lead to what I'm describing as unhappiness?

What I believe it boils down to is this.

If you are a person that's in the old soul part of the Bell's curve,

So you're on the right side,

You are on the high IQ of old soulness.

If that's the case,

Then you're here to make sense of life.

You're here to have purpose.

You're here because life is supposed to be very meaningful to you.

And if it isn't,

You're going to struggle a lot.

So I believe it's like this.

Let me use an analogy.

When I was at graduate school at Princeton,

I lived about a block away from where Albert Einstein used to live.

And I used to walk by his house pretty often.

And he was at the Advanced Institute at Princeton,

Which is probably one of the most advanced learning centers in the world.

He had already passed when I was there.

But I don't know if you know much about him.

But after he got his PhD,

He just couldn't find a job.

The first job he got as a tutor of two boys,

He got fired.

Well,

When he finally got a job as a patent clerk,

He had a lot of time on his hands because,

You know,

He's Albert Einstein,

A very smart guy.

And so what he used with his free time was to develop the general and special theory of relativity.

And of course,

He changed our world.

And I think he had so much potential that he almost had to use that free time for something good,

Which he did.

And I gave him purpose,

A lot of purpose,

And he changed our world.

But I also think there's some really smart people out there that are doing jobs way beneath them.

And I think it's hard for them because they know they have that potential.

But for whatever reason,

They didn't go to college and they didn't get into a field where they could really use that intelligence.

Well,

In regards to all soleness or spirituality or purpose,

Whatever you want to call it,

I think it's the same thing.

Some of us come with lots of questions.

We're here on a mission to figure out why we're here.

We want to find purpose.

And for whatever reasons,

For whatever life circumstances,

Life just didn't turn out in a way that we've been really able to ask those questions and to find our purpose in life.

Perhaps we had a child at a young age.

Perhaps we were in an environment where we weren't able to go to college.

Perhaps we just have struggled with life and needed to pay the bills.

We just haven't found time to really probe and to seek the answers of purpose and find meaning in our lives.

Perhaps we're just raising our family and paying our mortgage and our bills and that's enough for us.

At the end of the day,

We're just exhausted.

We know it's not enough in regards to finding purpose,

But we just don't know what to do.

But what I'm trying to talk about today or to convince us of today is that if we do have more,

If we're deeper than our friends,

Which is a possibility if we're listening to this podcast because we're here to find answers,

Then I think we're going to find unhappiness unless we really get back on track and start trying to find our purpose in life and why we're here.

Is it just to pay our bills?

Is it just so that I can come home and create a comfortable life for myself?

Or is it that there's meaning to my life and I need to find it and until I find it,

I'm going to be unhappy?

I think it's the latter.

And remember,

If I haven't been clear,

I'm not talking about intellectual curiosity.

I'm talking about meaning of life curiosity,

More old soul questions.

What is our purpose in life?

Are we doing our mission here?

And I think if we're on the spectrum of the old soul,

Our mission isn't just to have a good life and have fun.

I mean,

That's more of a young soul mission.

Our mission,

If we're on the spectrum of old soul,

Is to both find meaning in life and I believe to give back to life,

To make the world a better place after we leave it so that when we leave this world,

We have impacted other people's lives in such a way that our world that we leave now is a more beautiful place to live in for all of us.

I don't know what that will look like for any of us,

But until we find that,

I think what's going to happen is there's going to be struggle.

We have to be working towards things that every day when we put our head down on a pillow,

Say to us,

That was a good day.

We made a difference.

We had purpose in life.

Today is meaningful.

Everyday matters.

And because it matters,

I'm going to make sure I'm making a difference in my life and not just with other people like family and friends,

But in the greater world spectrum.

Again,

Like I said,

I don't know what that's going to look like for any of us,

But I think to find happiness,

We need to keep looking until we find that which is giving meaning to us.

For me,

It is this happiness podcast.

I find that I get great purpose out of creating this podcast.

It's something that I really needed to do all my life and it took a while to figure that out.

But once I figured it out,

It has become my purpose in helping others through what I've learned to improve their lives.

We all need to find purpose.

And until we do,

I think there's just going to be dis-ease.

We're going to be uncomfortable.

We're going to be unhappy.

Now,

Right now,

We may be thinking,

But Dr.

Puff,

How do I do this?

I have to pay my bills.

I have a family to raise.

I have obligations.

I have things I need to take care of and they take my time.

Am I supposed to just quit everything I do and start working at a homeless shelter?

For a few of us,

We may need to do that.

Like Mother Teresa of Calcutta,

We may need to get out there and really make a difference in the people that are struggling in our lives or people in the world that are having a hard time.

That may be our calling.

But for most of us,

Life has obligations.

And so,

How do we do that?

How do we meet our obligations and still find purpose in our lives?

I think there's three ways we can address this.

One is just throughout our day,

I think there's going to be opportunities to ask questions,

To explore,

To help others,

To give meaning to our lives.

It could be as simple as listening to this podcast on our way to work.

It could be as simple as starting to carry food in our car so that when we see a homeless person,

We can pull over and give them some food.

It can be as simple as someone at our work that we can tell is struggling,

Asking them for lunch and just enjoying our time with them.

There's so many little ways we can find purpose in our lives just by making subtle little changes.

Our lives may become far more meaningful than they were yesterday.

And then we can expand this circle.

We can say,

Okay,

I get it.

I can throw out the day,

Make my life more meaningful.

So how do I prepare for that?

How do I actually do that on a regular basis and find more meaning in my lives?

Could I become a volunteer at a local homeless shelter?

Could I start volunteering at my local animal shelter?

I don't know what that's going to look like for you.

But once you start thinking about it,

There's a lot of little things that we can do.

And I have two personal stories that are really beautiful that share this experience of giving in little ways that make a difference.

When I was younger,

I used to spend part of my summer with my grandparents and my grandfather was a retired farmer,

Though he still worked to his dying breath on the farm helping my uncle.

But he put aside three acres of his land just to grow fruits and vegetables.

And what he used to do throughout the summer,

He'd go out there and get bags and bags of fruits and vegetables that were ready and ripe.

And all he'd do is he'd drive around town and drop them off at people's homes for free.

And he did this every day.

And it was beautiful.

And you almost couldn't imagine the impact he had on people's lives,

Just bringing them a bag of fruits and vegetables to help them out.

Well,

When I went off to college,

My parents moved to Arizona.

My mother had a hard time with the winters,

And she wanted to be somewhere warmer.

So they moved to Arizona,

And they were still working.

But what they discovered when they got there was there were a lot of homeless people living under the bridges and in the isolated areas of Phoenix.

So what my parents used to do,

They would go to the local stores,

And they would ask them if there was anything they didn't want anymore that they were going to throw away.

And they would bring it to the homeless people.

Well,

People started discovering what my parents did.

So they would give them sleeping bags and tents.

And they were able to give things like this away too with time.

I think my parents saw what my grandfather had done and thought this was a good thing to do because he helped people that were hungry in Iowa have food throughout the summer.

And my parents helped people that were living homeless have better lives too.

They made a difference.

They found purpose.

So there are little ways throughout the day,

I think,

That we can make a difference,

Find purpose.

There are more medium ways throughout the weekends and on nights and just ways that we can get involved with activities to make a difference.

But I think there's a third thing too that we can consider doing.

It takes longer and we need to kind of plug away at it.

But even asking ourselves,

What are we doing with our lives in regards to our work and throughout the day?

Is it meaningful?

Does it have purpose?

And are we perhaps able to make changes there too?

We spend a lot of time at our jobs.

And perhaps it's time to consider if we have options there too,

If perhaps we could find more meaning in our jobs that we're doing all day long.

It can look so many different ways.

I think when we're open,

When we're creative,

When we listen to our hearts,

It will direct us in ways that will find purpose and meaning.

It may be just as simple that every day we go to work and try to impact the people that we spend time with in a more loving,

Helpful way.

It may mean that we go back to school on weekends or in the evening so that we find more purpose in what we do via a new career.

It may mean that when we retire,

Instead of just thinking about buying a motor home and traveling around the United States or wherever we live,

Instead we think about developing our soul more deeply and trying to make sense of life and our purpose and then reaching out to others with what we've learned and making the world a better place for all of us to live in.

But at the bottom line of what I'm talking about today is if we're on the spectrum of an old soul,

Which I think we're going to be if we're listening to this podcast,

Then we have to ask ourselves,

Do we have meaning?

Do we have purpose in our lives?

Are we living each day a life that is making a difference in our own hearts and in the hearts of those around us?

I think it's very important if we're going to find happiness that this is a question we need to ask ourselves and find an answer to and then work towards finding purpose in our lives.

And when we find that purpose on a daily basis,

We're going to find that our lives are not only so much more enriched,

But we're going to enrich the lives of people around us too.

Thank you for joining me on the Happiness Podcast.

If you are finding these episodes helpful,

I would love for you to share your experience with others.

The easiest way for new people to listen to this podcast is just refer them to www.

Happinesspodcast.

Org.

That's happinesspodcast.

Org.

Or if you want to do more and leave a review,

On that site you'll find a Yelp link,

A Google Plus link,

A testimonial link,

Or perhaps even the site you're listening to this podcast on.

Often you can leave reviews there too.

The reviews are an awesome way to encourage people to start listening to the Happiness Podcast.

And until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

Thank you

If you are and old soul spend some time with this talk and show gratitude for what you just learned 🙏

Words of wisdom 🙏

Really awesome approach to a topic that can be slippery. Nicely done. Thank you.

Hola from an old soul 🙋‍♀️ thank you for this lovely podcast and to let me know that there are more people like me that lives questioning and asking 24/7 def you are rocking your Purpose! 🤩

Thank you. I’m finding I’m not that weird and there’s a comfort to knowing that some people feel like I do questioning and searching for purpose and some just don’t. 💕🙏

Awesome and uplifting and it gave me some good things to think about! Thank you so much!

I have listened to Dr. Puff’s podcasts extensively, but I must say that this may be my absolute favorite. Fascinating discussion, very thought-provoking. Thank you, Dr. Puff!

Thank you for your thoughts and words and for helping me to find some peace 🙏

Excellent, I will pass this to all my friends

Oh my gooodddd, what an incredible podcast, just LOVED IT! You know, I went through a very sad and hard time in my life, for MANY years, I just couldn't see there was happening something wrong, but a little more than 1 month ago, very recently, I came back to life, but completely different from who I was, meditation helped me A LOT and research about other lifes, astrology, numerology, buddhism, xamanism LOL, everything mixed up. Although I'm REALLY REALLY happy right now I felt it was something missing, and ur happy podcast just lighted me up THAT'S IT, charity! And just yesterday I saw a homeless guy and had nothing to offer and I thought, shit, I need to start caring food inside the car AND U JUST SAID THAT today, everything have meaning including your words and happens for a reason. And, I felt as well, I have to read and talk to people living inside asylum I dont know why I just feel I have something to say, a message to give. Perhaps I just found my missing purpose or Im just starting to. Thank u so much for EVERY word, gratitude! **Loved the storie about ur relatives, so good people, with beautiful hearts AND atitudes, awesome!

Excellent! Good advice.

Beautiful. Thank you 🙏

Thank you Dr Puff, I think for me trying to find more purpose and meaning is by starting to do small things for others here and now every day, I think one reason why I feel stuck right now is because I tend to wait for a big/great answer what my path / dharma is, so thank you, I will start small to make it happen and develop 🙏🍀🌻

Wow! It has helped me to understand so much of my life until now ...
Thanks a lot 🙏🏻

Inspiring & informative
🙏🏾Thank you
~Namaste 🌻

I enjoyed your message. I look forward to hearing more. What a wonderful legacy you come from and thank you for carrying in the good work. I love your talks with strangers and the discernment of listening and noticing the difference in questions and profound questions. Namaste 🙏🏻

Thank you Dr Puff, I am definitely an old soul and I am searching. Thank you! 🙏

Thank you. Lovely way to start the day!

Thank you Dr. Puff. Really good podcast about purpose in your life.