Finding Happiness On Mondays

Dr. Puff describes 3 ways we can improve our attitude about our work and start enjoying what we do.

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

Years ago when I was just finishing up my doctoral work and I was starting my career,

Some guy approached me.

I don't remember who he was,

But he approached me and said,

Hey,

Can I sit down with you and talk about your investments?

I thought,

Well,

That sure can't hurt.

I'm starting off my career.

How could it hurt to learn about investments?

Mind you,

I didn't have any money saved and I had a bit of debt left over from college.

But during that time when we talked,

He explained to me that if I saved a little bit of my income every month,

That when I retired,

I could have a very good nest egg and wouldn't have to work anymore and be very comfortable.

And mind you,

The advice he was giving me was very good.

And throughout my career,

I have tried to apply it,

But there was a part of it that wasn't very good for me.

I mean,

I was just starting my career at the very inception and I began to think about how many years out there I could retire and have all this free time to do whatever I wanted.

I mean,

It sounds silly now,

But at the time it actually caused me a bit of distress because what happened was instead of focusing in on enjoying my career,

I started spending some time thinking about,

I can't wait to retire.

Now mind you,

There's nothing wrong with looking forward to retirement,

But we can look forward to vacation.

We can look forward to a lot of things,

But if that keeps us from living in the here and now and enjoying what we're doing right now,

Then it is a problem and it's going to lead to unhappiness right now.

One of the problems is we spend a lot of time thinking about the weekend.

We spend a lot of time thinking about,

I can't wait until I retire and everything will be fine.

The problem with that is twofold.

Forbes magazine reports that about half of Americans have nothing saved for retirement.

And the Washington Post reported last year that about 71% of Americans don't have enough saved for retirement.

And that's true around the world too,

Not just here in America.

So the first problem is we're putting a lot of hope and expectation in something that may not financially turn out as well as we expect.

But really the big issue is in the process of looking forward to retirement,

Is that keeping us from living in the here and now and enjoying the journey of life.

Our minds are very powerful.

So by focusing in on the weekends,

Vacations and retirement,

That means that our minds are telling us that what we're doing right now is unpleasant.

We don't like it and we can't wait for it to end.

If we were enjoying right now,

We wouldn't say,

I can't wait until when we're on vacation,

We usually don't say if we're having a good vacation,

I can't wait until we don't say anything.

I can't wait until we just enjoy the vacation.

Now what our minds and society is going to tell us is,

But if we work really hard right now and just put in a lot of effort,

Then someday everything's going to be great.

The biggest hole in this argument is we don't know.

There's absolutely no guarantees about the future.

Lots of things can happen.

We can get sick,

We can die,

We can get sued.

So many things can happen that can preclude a happy ending where everything's going to be fine.

And I want to use another example to really illustrate this point.

A lot of people believe,

Well,

Dr.

Puff,

If I work really hard and make lots of money,

Then for the rest of my life,

Everything's going to be great.

Well,

Is that true?

Is it true that once we have lots of money,

After we work really hard,

Everything's great?

Well,

Over the years of working with companies and individuals that are very successful,

I've learned and other people have learned that what often happens is this scenario.

A man or a woman works really hard,

Makes a lot of money,

They sell their company,

Maybe they walk away with a hundred million dollars.

That's a lot of money.

And you think,

Wow,

They should be great.

Everything should be wonderful.

But what normally happens if they're in their 30s or 40s or even in their 50s,

If they're young,

Usually within two years,

They're pretty much full blown alcoholics and going crazy because they've worked so hard doing it to get there that they don't know how to slow down.

So they just keep going and they become alcoholics or drug addicts.

Not all of them,

Of course,

Exceptions to every rule,

But it isn't uncommon for that story to unfold exactly as I described it.

There are thousands of examples like that.

So if it was so great,

Then why did they end up becoming alcoholics or drug addicts?

Well,

If you're familiar with what I teach,

One of the things I teach is we have a set point for happiness.

So what happens is whatever level of happiness we're at,

We're probably going to stay there throughout most of our lives unless we're doing things like we learn here on the happiness podcast.

But for most people that work really hard,

They're often very miserable during that time of working really hard,

Whether they're going through residency or building up a company,

Just investing a lot of time,

Weekends,

Weeknights,

A lot of time to become successful.

Well,

When they get there,

They were very unhappy in the process of getting there.

It just doesn't change when they get there.

So then they continue to be unhappy because they don't like to be unhappy because everything now is supposed to be great.

So they say,

Well,

I don't feel good,

So I'm going to drink,

I'm going to take this drug to feel good.

And that does work,

But we all know where that ends.

And so that's why it doesn't turn out well.

And if again,

If you don't believe me,

Just pick up People Magazine.

I mean,

They describe the lives of very successful people,

The most successful people on the planet.

And why do so many of them end up going to drug rehab or have depression or anxiety?

It's because success doesn't make us happy.

It doesn't work at all.

It won't change anything.

And so often we sacrifice so much to get there that we've now conditioned ourselves to be unhappy.

And so when we get there and we're not happy,

It's pretty devastating.

And sometimes people at that level even commit suicide.

Now let's go to the other extreme,

The healthy extreme.

Now,

Could you imagine someone like the Dalai Lama?

I think most of us would agree that the Dalai Lama is a pretty happy person.

He smiles a lot and he has a really great impact on the world.

Could you imagine him thinking or saying,

I can't wait to retire someday where I can purchase myself a motor home,

Drive around and drink martinis every night.

I bet we can't imagine that happening with the Dalai Lama.

So I'm going to strongly argue that people that are happy,

People that are doing well in life are really enjoying their lives right now.

They're not waiting until someday I'll enjoy my life.

It's all about enjoying their lives now.

So given that,

What do we do to make sure that we aren't just living for the weekend,

Vacations or retirement?

How do we live well now?

Well,

The first thing is,

Let's go back to my example.

Remember when I was finishing up my PhD and I started thinking about,

I need to save a retirement.

There was nothing wrong with that.

It's good to save a retirement and prepare.

Absolutely.

It's good to go on vacation.

It's good to have nice weekends.

But if that's where all our energy is going towards,

Then that's going to guarantee that our mind is going to say,

So let's get out of what we're doing right now because we don't like it.

Let's hurry up and get there and be done with what we're doing right now because we don't like it.

Our mind is going to find ways not to like what we're doing for looking forward to doing something else.

If we just change that and say,

Okay,

I'm going to instead really work on each and every day,

Even no matter if things are going hard to find beauty,

To find joy in the moments of life right now.

Then what begins to happen is though we save for retirement,

Though we go on vacation,

Though we enjoy our weekends,

We also look forward to Mondays.

We look forward to going to work.

We look forward to the things that we're doing.

Now mind you,

You may want to scream at this podcast and say,

You got to be kidding.

I hate my work.

It's terrible.

You don't get what I'm going through every day.

Dr.

Puff.

I know there may be a few steps to get to the point that I'm describing.

I get that.

But if we begin to make those steps and we say,

I get it.

I know I don't really like my work right now,

But this is what I'm doing.

This is what's helping me pay my bills,

Feed my family and keeping me afloat.

So if this is what life has given me,

How am I going to make this work?

And of course we're not going to turn into this.

I love my work immediately.

That's not going to happen.

But if we realize that,

Oh,

It is good for me to find joy,

To find happiness in my work.

So when I get up on Monday and go to work,

I can actually look forward to some things.

And what will happen is as we begin to see it that way and begin to make steps to make our lives and our work more pleasurable,

Then when we go to work,

It will begin to become that way.

Our minds are ever so powerful.

So when we begin to think,

I'm going to enjoy the day and find beauty throughout this day,

Then that's exactly what begins to happen.

So what I'd like to do in this podcast is present three challenges for all of us that we can do to improve our lives.

The first one is,

Is what I've been talking about.

Can we make little changes in the work we're doing to enjoy it more,

To make it more pleasurable,

Whatever that may be,

Maybe taking lunches outside,

Maybe bringing in pictures that we can look at through the day,

Maybe connecting with our colleagues and really trying to make that the focus of what we do.

The key here is that whatever we focus on,

That's the energy that's going to come from us.

If we focus on negative things,

We're going to be pretty unhappy with our work.

If we focus on the things that are positive,

Then that's the energy we're going to discover inside of us too.

And slowly that can grow until we reach a point where,

Hey,

I kind of like my work.

I'm enjoying what I'm doing and I'm looking forward to Monday.

Right now,

That may seem far away,

But I'm going to challenge all of us to begin to work in that direction because we spend a lot of time at work and it's far better to enjoy what we do than to keep pushing and wait until retirement.

That's a life of slavery.

The next challenge I want each of us to consider is,

Okay,

We are going to work towards enjoying every day at work,

But are there things that I could begin to do getting retrained,

Going back to school so that in the future I enjoy what I do even more.

Now this can take some time,

So we have to be careful.

We get focused on,

Oh,

I can't wait until I get my master's so then I can go on to this job or can't wait to start my side business and it starts making a lot of money so I can do this thing.

That's going to keep us from not enjoying today.

But at the same time,

I do think we can hold both tensions in the sense of one being,

I really am going to enjoy my work now and I'm going to continue to improve,

Get better so that whatever I do,

I enjoy it even more.

That's a good balance in life.

Now here's the third and last challenge I want to give all of us.

It's to think in a very different way,

Not thinking about someday I'll not thinking about,

I can't wait until I retire,

But perhaps sometimes giving energy towards,

I'm looking forward to doing this until the day I die.

I can't even imagine retiring because I love what I'm doing so much.

Mind you,

As my body gets older,

I may need to slow down,

But I hope to keep doing this until the day I die.

Now that may sound utterly ludicrous,

But if we think about it,

If we know people that truly seem to be having pretty good lives,

We're going to see that's probably how they're living their lives.

If they love what they do,

They don't even contemplate retirement.

Like I said earlier,

Could you imagine the Dalai Lama retiring?

Could you imagine the Pope retiring?

Of course not.

People that love what they do don't think about retirement.

They just keep doing it until they can't do it anymore.

It's more like when they retire,

They think,

I really missed that.

I wish I could do that some more.

I'm enjoying my time off now,

But I really miss what I used to do.

But more importantly,

Think about what we're doing now and say,

How do I get to the point that if I had to do this rest of my life until my dying breath,

Not only could I,

I would like to do that.

That's an amazing goal to work towards.

I know it's a challenging goal,

But it is worth one considering moving towards because when we have that in place,

That's going to lead to a very beautiful life.

Thank you for joining me on the happiness podcast.

If you are enjoying this happiness podcast,

I'd love a review from you.

There's lots of places you can leave them.

And if you want to learn more about the world of happiness,

Just go to happiness podcast.

Org.

Until next time,

Accept what is love.

What is is workplace negativity holding your company back.

Many teams are seriously handicapped when employees feel negativity about their jobs and lives.

Productivity drops,

Cost rise customers get cranky and your job as owner or manager gets a lot more difficult.

If you've been trying your hardest to improve productivity,

Sales and profit,

But it just isn't happening or it's going slower than you want workplace negativity could be the culprit.

It turns out a happy team gets things done.

Work gets completed done right and ahead of schedule.

Creativity goes way up and you spend much less time putting out fires.

Finally,

Your team shares your vision and works their hardest to make it reality.

Dr.

Puff's corporate workshops go deep to help your staff find the key things that are making them unhappy.

We will help them learn how to be happier,

Love their jobs and get work done better than ever.

To learn more,

Visit www success beyond your imagination.

Com where you can schedule results oriented training for your company.

Reviews

Thank you, I needed this. I am almost 3 months in my new role and I started to make some mistakes and I was feeling really down and scared thank you for this lesson. 😊

This was very helpful. I am currently going thru some major disagreements with management and I just needed to get some suggestions on how to handle it. This I believe is my solution. Thank you

Love the podcast! Hope to have a few more here

what an interesting perspective thank you Robert!

Sage advice. I've been working on this in my life and even though I know this stuff it sure helps to have a reminder. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

A nice start to my Monday morning. Thank you.

Good podcast. Not a meditation.

Great advice! Thank you!

Very timely and such good advice. Thank you. I will be remembering this as I head into work today.