Embracing Change

In this intense time of change in our world, are we destined to suffer or can we learn to embrace change and find peace and beauty in our lives? Perhaps there is a choice.

Please note: This is a lecture, not a guided meditation.

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

There's a lot of things that we can expect to happen in our lives,

But the one thing that we can definitely count on is change.

Things are going to change.

There just really is no way to get around it.

I mean we may meet the soulmate of our lives,

Be so excited to create this life together,

And then 10,

20,

30 years later,

Things change.

We're perhaps no longer together,

Or perhaps our soulmate has passed.

In our youth,

We may be the epitome of health,

Being able to run for long distances without tiring,

Being able to jump,

Swim,

And do a variety of things without fear of injury.

But as we age,

This too changes,

And we slow down until we may reach a point where we're needing a walker just to get around.

A person may be so beautiful or handsome that when they walk into a room,

Everyone turns around and looks.

But at some point,

They walk into a room and people stop noticing them.

Life changes.

At the time of my recording of this podcast,

Most of the world is on lockdown because of the coronavirus.

Some people are losing their jobs.

Some people's businesses are going to go away and not come back.

Some people are not going to survive this.

Others are going to lose people that they love.

Change is part of life.

It is inevitable.

It is coming.

And we have a choice when it comes.

We can either fight it,

Scream at it,

Hate it,

Dive into a cave and never come out,

Or we can embrace it,

Celebrate it,

And look to it as an opportunity for growth.

And it's really that simple.

When change comes,

And it will,

We have a choice.

And it is a choice.

We don't have to let change be something ugly,

Something terrible.

That's the choice.

We can,

Of course,

And many people will and do,

But we don't have to.

It is a choice.

We can choose to throw in the towel,

To give up and go into a state of despair or anger,

Or we can choose to embrace the change and look for beauty and wonder in that change.

And reaching out to the universe and say,

How can I embrace this change to not only adapt to it,

But to shine through it and make my life better with this change?

That is always a possibility.

But it's a choice,

A choice that we have to make,

Because we're going to make one or the other.

And if we choose to embrace change,

To make our lives better because of this change,

Then our lives will continue to get better and will continue to grow until our dying breath.

That's what I would have us choose,

But we don't have to.

We can fight the change,

Hate the change,

Run from the change,

Or we can embrace the change and find peace and happiness,

No matter what change we are dealing with.

Now,

Of course,

Your mind might be saying,

But Dr.

Puff,

Aren't we then denying our feelings?

I mean,

This is horrible what's happening.

And you're asking me just to adapt and move forward and find peace and happiness to this very difficult thing I'm going through?

Actually,

I'm not saying that.

What I'm saying is,

As we grieve,

As we feel,

As we truly acknowledge the difficulty that we're facing and what we need to overcome,

Then after we feel our feelings as often as we need to,

Then we move forward and say,

Okay,

I realize that this is what has happened.

And now I need to move forward because life is change.

And if I stay stuck in the agony of the change,

Then I will stay stuck there.

And we can do that for the rest of our lives if we want to.

It is a choice.

Or we can say,

Yes,

This is hard,

But I choose to go forward.

I choose to live my life well,

Even in the face of this change.

And we all know people that have done this.

I remember once years ago,

Taking a yoga class,

And the yoga instructor was older,

And she'd been teaching for many years.

But she shared that when she was younger,

She had a lot of people that were interested in the way she looked,

And she got a lot of attention for the way she appeared.

But now that she was older,

She actually enjoyed not having to worry about all that attention,

And liked just being her and living her life with less energy given to her looks.

Another man I recently saw interviewed had 30 years prior been a very successful executive who got in a car wreck and became paralyzed from the waist down.

But for him,

It was a beautiful thing that happened,

Because he learned to turn this into something that worked for him,

And he helped others with similar disabilities,

And really embraced his life,

And in no way looked at that tragedy as something that was bad,

Or something that took away from his happiness in life.

We all know stories like this.

I mean,

Look at Stephen Hawkins.

What a beautiful story of a beautiful man who's had tragedy physically,

But on the world plane has changed so many people's lives.

I can't even tell you over the last 35 years of helping people,

The number of people that I've met that were diagnosed with a terminal illness,

And they only had months or perhaps a few years to live,

That have told me so many times that these last few months or years were by far the best,

Best part of their lives.

They had ever lived.

They embraced their illness,

And they lived,

And they lived well.

Now of course,

We know lots of people for whom this is not true.

They have been diagnosed with a terminal illness,

And it was by far the worst part of their lives.

But perhaps today,

We'll be able to see that this is a choice.

Change is just what life brings to all of us,

Sooner or later,

We are going to face change throughout our lives.

With the coronavirus right now,

Everyone in the world is pretty much facing change.

The question to ask ourselves is this,

When change comes,

Do I embrace this change?

Do I find the beauty in it?

Do I adapt to it?

Do I say in my heart,

I can do this,

I can adapt to this change and make my life even better?

Or,

Do I just give up?

Do I just throw on the towel and say I'm done?

And I know it can be very tempting just to give up,

To fight,

To say I don't want this anymore.

Why is this happening?

And these can be healthy in the short term.

But in the long term,

If we want to find peace and happiness,

We have to take a deep breath and say,

How do I find the beauty in this change?

How do I adapt well to the circumstances that I didn't see coming?

How do I adjust and embrace this change?

If we choose this path,

We will find that change is a welcome friend,

That though hard when this change comes,

We learn that I got this,

I can do this.

My life will continue to shine into my last dying breath.

It is a choice.

It's a choice that we're going to face.

But we have to see it as a choice.

When we give up,

We really think that's our only option.

And so,

We don't try.

But if we realize that the giving up is a choice,

And no matter what life throws us,

We can find peace,

Beauty,

And happiness in anything.

It does take time.

It can take a tremendous amount of work.

But giving up takes a lot of work too.

It's exhausting.

It's so sad.

And though we can numb it,

It's still a life that isn't really what life is meant to be.

Because this is what I've discovered about life.

Life is change.

And sooner or later,

We're probably going to get some really big hits when it comes to change.

A death of a loved one.

A great loss financial.

A health change of our own.

There are so many things where change happens,

And they're hard.

But at the same sense,

Each of these changes creates an opportunity for growth.

To be fearless in the face of change,

And to say,

I got this.

I can do this.

And just not giving up until we find that we got it.

And we are doing well with this change.

We can.

Or we can give up.

It's a choice.

Please join me in choosing to adapt to the change well.

To not give up.

There's always a solution to anything.

Always.

We just can't give up.

We have to keep looking for these solutions.

And then finding ways to adapt to the change.

And realizing that change,

Instead of being something that is feared,

Can be something that we embrace.

Even welcome.

And say thank you.

Because you,

Change,

Have helped make my life better.

Thank you for joining me on the Happiness Podcast.

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And until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

Thank you Dr Puff for your podcasts! As a clinical social worker, I’m continuing to work in a medical setting during this COVID19 and your podcasts are inspirationally grounding. Namaste! Misty🙏☮️😊🌈

I love your podcasts.... you are such a wise kind soul & it is a pleasure to be able to listen to your calm, consoling, compassionate musings..,many blessings to one & all.☘️❤️🌏

Thank you very much