Carpe Diem: Stop Putting Hope In The Future

When we put our hopes in the future, we often stop living now. The end is, at best, uncertain and sometimes different from what we were expecting or wanting. If we, instead, carpe diem or seize the day, we will find happiness throughout our life journey instead of in the future hopes that may never come true.

Transcript

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

How long do you have to live?

Do you have any idea?

My guess is we all have assumptions of how long we're gonna live.

It can be based on a lot of different things.

We were diagnosed with cancer when we were younger and because of this we think we may not live as long as we could have lived.

Or we look at our family,

Particularly our parents and our grandparents.

We see how long they lived and often we put a lot of expectations on that.

My father made it to 86.

I'll make it to 86.

I was once talking to an homeless man.

He was probably in his mid 40s to early 50s.

I couldn't quite tell.

But he told me he was surprised he was still alive today.

He did not think,

Given his lifestyle,

That he would have lived this long.

Another time I heard a story about a man who had gotten cancer three times and survived each treatment.

But he wasn't sure how much longer he had.

And he wasn't even 60 yet.

So he decided to sell everything he had.

And he didn't have much.

He bought a used motorhome and has been living in his motorhome traveling around the United States ever since.

And literally last night and then again this morning I got a text from a friend of mine that I went to college with.

She told me that she was going into surgery because she had a stint in her neck and it was causing her a lot of suffering and pain.

And she was having all kinds of medical issues.

And she wanted the stint moved into her arm so that she could have a more comfortable life.

And then this morning when I woke up I got two more texts from her.

Her son-in-law had died of a heart attack unexpectedly.

And her husband,

Who was also in the hospital at the same time,

Stopped breathing for 10 minutes.

And at first they thought he wasn't going to make it.

But now it looks like he probably will make it.

I'm only sharing these personal stories to show you the precariousness of life.

We often put a lot of stock in the future.

When we get to a certain point in our lives all will be well and we'll live the good life.

The problem with it is life doesn't often agree with that.

And it says nope this is how your life's going to turn out instead.

No one has a crystal ball knowing what their future holds.

What we do know is that we're alive right now.

That we know.

We don't know how long we have.

We don't know what's going to happen in our future.

We don't know what's going to happen with the people in our lives in our future.

Life changes and is often incredibly precarious.

And we just can't make predictions.

Sometimes we live longer than we think.

Like that homeless man.

Sometimes we live a lot shorter than we expect.

Life is unexpected.

But the one thing we can count on is we're alive right now.

But unfortunately what catches us is that we put our hopes in the future.

That someday I'll start living.

Someday I'll retire.

Someday I'll find my soulmate.

Someday I'll get my children and all will be well.

And we just don't know.

And even when that someday happens it all comes crashing down.

Or it's not what we expected.

We finally saved the money to go on our international trip overseas.

And we realize how exhausting international traveling is.

We have to adjust half the time to the time zone changes.

And the flight there and back and economy is exhausting.

Sitting in a small seat for 14 hours and perhaps not even being able to sleep.

Getting to a country where the time zone is completely different.

And then going to see sights that makes us move all day long.

Where we get so little sleep because we can't sleep at night.

Again it isn't that traveling internationally can't be wonderful.

But for some people it truly is exhausting.

It is not what they expected.

Or how about having children?

We so badly want to have our kids.

We can't wait to have them.

And then we get them and we realize our lives have changed fairly permanently for the next 18 to 20 years.

And not in all good ways.

Waking up at 3 in the morning when we have to go to work the next day is not always fun.

Or what about finishing college or high school?

We can't wait to be independent of all those books and studies and live on our own.

And then we make it.

We get out there and we realize our rents are astronomical.

And then there's issues of food and gas and utilities.

And there's so little left that we have to get a roommate that stays in our room.

Because we have to share a room now to get by.

Or we come home from a long day at work exhausted.

Our body now feels the movement and all that entails working 40 perhaps 50 hours a week.

It can really wear us out.

I'm using these examples not to make us be depressed about life.

Life truly can be a beautiful adventure.

I often end my podcast with that very saying.

But the key of it is life if we're gonna live it well is right here right now.

We need to do one thing and do it well.

Which is Carpe Diem.

That's Latin for seize the day.

This is the day that we're given.

We don't know what the future holds.

We need to live well now.

Putting hope in the future that may potentially go down so many different paths than we expect is not a very good plan.

It is good to prepare for the future of course.

Making sure that we are able to survive and live well as we get older.

But at the same time putting off everything for the future is a very silly choice.

Because we don't know how it's gonna end.

We don't know what the future holds.

And today truly could be our last day.

And imagine how differently we would live if it were our last day.

If we only had a month or a year to live.

We would live very differently.

We would Carpe Diem.

We would seize each day and suck the marrow out of that day.

So that when we put our head down that night knowing that we may not wake up in the morning.

We would say that was a good day.

That's what we're looking for.

If we truly want to live a good life we have to live it one day at a time.

And truly find that each day is a precious gift.

We're not guaranteed a future.

None of us are.

But we are guaranteed today.

We are guaranteed right now.

So we ask ourselves how do I live well now without going too crazy and making choices where perhaps we sell everything.

Going on a great trip and then we come home when we're homeless.

That would not be a good choice.

But the opposite is also not a good choice.

Putting hope in the future is a path of suffering.

Because we just don't know what the future holds.

It can change.

But if we live well all along the way with balance.

Making sure again we're not homeless.

Or making choices that have detrimental causes in the future.

Like being so carefree about the future that we make choices today that have long term effects.

Negative effects on our future.

Like getting in an accident or hurting someone emotionally.

Because we don't care about the future.

The future matters.

It's just we have to stop putting hope in it.

Our hope is in living today well.

And if we string all these things together then we have a good life.

But putting our hope in the future that's what causes us to suffer.

Because that hope is uncertain.

That hope may change.

That hope is precarious.

It is not something we can count on.

If we don't count on it then what we do is we live well now.

Realizing we don't know what's going to happen.

Realizing that things may change.

And that's okay.

Because if we live well now we'll find that life truly can be a beautiful adventure one day at a time.

And we string those days together so that ends up being a beautiful tapestry of all our memories.

Of all our experiences.

Of all our laughter.

That's what creates a beautiful life.

We're capable of that.

All of us.

But we have to stop putting so much hope in the future and realizing right now is where we need to be living.

So let's talk about what this will look like.

It's going to be assessing our life.

How is our life going?

How are our days,

Our weeks being spent?

Are we doing things throughout the day that we really don't like?

That aren't bringing as much joy?

Then we ask ourselves,

Well is there something that I could do differently to bring more joy to what I'm doing?

Could I find a different job that I like more?

Could I find things at work that I do that makes it more pleasant?

Connecting with the other people that work there and really enjoying being with them instead of focusing it on making that quota more focus on enjoying the people I work with or the customers I work with.

The big thing I have helped a lot of people over the years do is work less.

Don't work so much so that you have time to do things that are enjoyable right now.

When we have time we can do things.

When we don't have time and we work at 60 or 80 hour workweek there's not going to be much time to do other things that are joyful and bring us happiness.

So often changing our work schedule is one of the most important things we can do.

I've worked with a lot of people and had them cut down to part-time or have a schedule where they take all their vacations and even some vacations they don't get paid for just so they have the time to enjoy life.

The other thing that catches us is stuff.

Stuff is silly.

If you're killing yourself to pay for that car or for that expensive place you have to ask yourself is it really worth it?

Because instead of doing that you could not work as much or work a different schedule or work a different job that you enjoy far more and now have time to do what you love because the stuff is gonna do nothing for you in the long run.

Oh it may be thrilling at first and it may impress your friends but bringing happiness is not what it's going to do.

I talk a lot about this in other episodes on this podcast.

Experiences,

Joys,

Doing things right now that bring us happiness that's what we're gonna focus on not on stuff.

So simplifying our lives perhaps getting a used car,

Perhaps getting a roommate to bring costs down,

Perhaps moving somewhere where the cost of living is less expensive.

We are making choices every day that have consequences to them but what they're often not doing is teaching us how to seize the day.

Instead we fritter away our time on things that truly bring us no joy no happiness.

So we ask ourselves what can I do to bring about joy and happiness in my life right now?

If this truly is perhaps the last day,

Week,

Month,

Or year of my life how would I live it differently?

And can I start moving in that direction every day of my life?

Being thankful for what I have and the time I've been given but realizing the future is uncertain.

So I'm gonna live today really well.

And it's true we may live a long time so there's a sense of balance of making sure we're okay for the future.

But at the same sense living well today when we do work towards seizing each day well we'll say how did I do today?

Did I really suck the marrow out of life?

Or did I pitter it away and do things that were really pointless and wasted my time?

Because we waste our time when we think we have a lot of it.

When we don't have much of it we don't waste it.

So realizing that perhaps putting too much hope in the future is what's causing me to suffer.

And what I need to do is start realizing today actually may be my last day.

And if that's true whether it is or not I'm gonna live well today.

Preparing for the future but making sure that if the future goes down a very different path than I expect when I take my last breath I'll say that was a good life.

Thank you for joining me on the happiness podcast.

Until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

So true. Thank you

Thank you so much Dr. Puff for your light and grounding talks! ❤️🙏

Simply wonderful! Thank you ❤️

Excellent talk as well as a beautiful reminder!♥️♥️♥️

Absolutely, right on! Ever since the movie “Dead Poets Society” with Robin Williams came out I lived with the reminder “Carpe’ Diem’. Having just finished 78th year of life I cannot say I was always successful at following that motto, but on the days that I have, and in my retirement, I can say there is very much truth in what you share here. Enjoy!

Putting in repeat. Not new concept to me, but definitely when I need reminding of. Carpe diem!🙏🏼💖

It was like hearing my own voice from years gone by and I needed to. Thanks. Carpe Diem. 🙏💕

Thanks for reality check namaste

Great as always. 🙏 so, so true a lesson but oh so hard to achieve. I think modernity has taken many of the true and best things in life. It is very hard to not get caught in the traps.

Carpe Diem…wonderful advice! Thanks Dr Puff!

Thanks for this wonderful reminder 🙏

Thank you, Dr. Puff. I love your voice and podcast information.

💪 ❤️ Seize the day. Thank you!

Thank you 🙏

Nice reminded to that all we have is the present moment. Simple and straightforward message, as it should be.