4 Steps To Slowing Down & Enjoying Life

We often get very busy in our lives and in the process, really miss out of many beautiful parts of life. In this talk, we explore 4 things that we can do to helps us slow down and enjoy life. (Please note: this is a lecture, not a guided meditation.)

Transcript

Welcome to the happiness podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

This past winter,

We've had a lot of rain in Southern California.

And one of the effects of the rain is green and flowers.

The hillsides are beautiful with all the colors of the vibrant flowers that are blossoming because of all the rain.

Near my home,

There's a road called the Ortega Highway,

And it runs right through the local mountains.

It's a beautiful winding road.

And we went on it yesterday to see the flowers and the green hills.

And it truly was magnificent.

Because it's a windy road,

It's mostly a single lane.

And they have pullouts,

But there aren't too many times where you can pass someone unless they pull out.

Well,

As we were driving along this beautiful road and really enjoying the hillside and just all the vibrant colors,

There was a convertible car that came behind us.

And the driver was clearly in a hurry,

Even though he had his top down.

And I'm not sure why he wasn't trying to enjoy the beautiful hills.

But we pulled out and let him get by,

But the car in front of us didn't.

And for the next 10 minutes,

As we're driving through these beautiful hills,

He was honking,

He was screaming,

He was flashing his lights,

He was doing everything in his power to try to get the car in front of him to pull over.

Well,

They weren't.

So in the meantime,

He was missing out on all the beauty around him.

And unfortunately,

I can't imagine the passenger he had driving with him in his convertible was enjoying herself as he was so angry.

Well,

When he finally passed the car in front of us,

He,

I felt,

Really was missing out on life and all the beauty around him because he was in such a hurry and was in such an angry state,

Just because he had to go a little slower for a little bit of time.

It was very sad.

Now,

My point here isn't to judge this man because I'm sure we've all seen people like him,

Or maybe we've been in that state before too.

It's more so to learn from his mistakes and say,

Okay,

What was going on here?

What was he doing?

We may never know,

But one thing he wasn't doing is he wasn't slowing down enough to enjoy the beauty of nature around him.

And it was truly a magnificent day on that drive.

And I do think that this is one of the things that keeps us from finding happiness in the here and now.

We're just missing out on life.

We're going so quickly.

We're going so fast that all the beautiful things that occur around us,

We're just not seeing.

We're just missing out on them.

I mean,

Another classic example of this is when we eat our meals,

And particularly when it's a very thoughtful meal,

Maybe someone made it for us,

Or an expensive meal at a nice restaurant.

Don't we sometimes rush through those meals,

Even though the food is exquisite?

How often have we heard someone complain,

You ate it so quickly,

You don't even know what it tasted like.

And I think there's truth to that.

When we rest through life,

We miss out on so much of life.

But the reverse is true.

When we learn to slow down,

We begin to see life and all its wonders.

I know we're in our head often,

That's why we're so busy,

And we miss out on life.

But if we can get out of our heads and say,

Okay,

I know there may be a lot going on in my life right now,

But I can still stop,

Pause,

And look around and see what wonders are before me.

Because what I've learned in life,

There's just always something beautiful to be with.

But when we get busy,

When we're in a hurry,

That's when we tend to miss out on life.

And that hurriedness can really keep us from living well in the present moment,

Which is the key to truly finding happiness in this moment.

When we string together many,

Many moments of presence,

Of slowing down,

Of seeing,

Of hearing,

Of feeling,

Of connecting with others,

What that strings into is a beautiful life.

But when we rush through life,

When we go so quickly,

That we truly don't pause,

Then we miss out on life.

Now I know this may seem rather cliche,

I get it Dr.

Puff,

I know I need to slow down,

But so what?

I'm busy,

I don't know how to do it,

I hear it all the time,

But how do I actually do it?

So let's talk about this today.

How do we truly learn to slow down and enjoy the life around us?

So let's talk about the four steps that we can do to slow down and enjoy our lives so much more.

Well the first thing we need to do is we need to be aware that slowing down is a good thing and that we aren't doing that.

Unless we're aware of what we're doing,

We then aren't going to be able to change.

So for example,

Let's say our alarm goes off at five in the morning and we hit snooze a couple of times and then we're off to the races and we just go,

Go,

Go,

Go,

Go until the end of the day because we have so many things to do that the only time we actually stop is at the end of the day when it's time for sleep.

So awareness is key.

We have to say,

Okay,

Am I busy?

And probably most of us will answer,

Yes,

I am.

I'm too busy.

And then once we're aware that we're too busy,

We begin to say,

Okay,

I get it.

I'm going to commit towards changing this because I'm missing out on life.

So once we're aware and we commit to begin the changes,

We have to start practicing slowing down.

And there's so many different techniques that we can implement to slow down because like any skill,

If we want to learn new skill,

We have to practice that new skill.

It's not going to just pop up naturally and be there for us.

Awareness is key.

And then awareness will definitely help once we're aware that,

Oh,

This is what I'm doing.

I need to slow down,

But then we need to practice.

And in order to do that,

We choose an area,

Maybe one or two that we decide,

Okay,

This is what I'm going to work on now.

For example,

Let's realize that we really are missing out on life when it comes to food.

We just consume our food way too quickly.

So I heard this technique.

It's a good one.

Many years ago,

Every time you have a meal,

After you take a bite,

Put your fork down and wait till your mouth is clear and then pick up your fork and take another bite and then wait until your mouth is clear.

And each time put the fork down or the spoon,

Whatever you're eating.

And then what will happen is you will definitely go more slowly when it comes to eating.

So what happens is when we do this,

When we begin to implement changes in so many places in our life,

We begin to say,

Oh,

If I practice this,

I'm going to get better at it.

I remember,

And I've talked about this before,

But I do remember the one way I really changed it in my own life.

And that had to do with driving.

Many,

Many,

Many years ago,

When I was in my early twenties,

I realized that I would drive in a hurry.

And sometimes I wasn't as polite as I could be when I drove because I was in a hurry and I was stressed.

So I realized at that point,

I'm not doing that anymore.

I'm just not.

So I gave myself time,

Lots of time,

And I would always leave early.

And that leaving early meant I didn't have to hurry so I could just putz and take my time getting to where I'm going and look around while I'm getting there and enjoy the journey.

I've done that now for decades and it makes driving so much more enjoyable.

And living in Southern California,

We drive a lot.

So it was a good skill to learn.

And what we look for to practice is areas that cause us stress,

Where we truly are missing out on life.

Maybe it's our mornings.

Maybe it's our drive to work.

Maybe it's when we're with our family.

Maybe it's the weekends.

I'm not sure,

But we decide that,

Okay,

To get better at this,

I really do want to slow down and stop.

It's really about that.

We just literally stop,

Take a breath and look around and then stop again.

Take a breath and look around.

When we begin to cultivate this practice of slowing down,

Stopping,

Looking,

Checking in internally,

Checking in externally,

We're going to find that our lives improve.

But because it takes practice,

We need to go to step three.

And step three is have things in place that remind us to slow down.

I mean,

There's so many ways we can do this.

Our phones,

Which are with us all the time,

Can be reminders.

Oh yeah,

Time to slow down.

A little alarm goes off and says,

Stop.

You know,

There are apps out there that will do that.

They'll tell you to breathe.

My watch does that throughout the day.

It just sends little reminders.

Breathe.

And then having times to slow down.

What I mean by that is create times where it's like,

Okay,

Saturday morning,

I'm not going to do any work activities.

I'm just going to relax,

Slow down and enjoy life.

That can be a very good practice to cultivate.

Another one is meditation.

When we meditate,

We definitely slow down.

And if we make time to meditate,

We're going to slow down more regularly and see the benefit of slowing down.

So we have to have things in place that remind us because if we don't,

Even if we practice,

We're going to go back to our old ways and get busy.

But the good news is if we do put these things in place and practice them with time,

We'll go to step four,

Which will be,

We will improve.

We will begin to slow down.

And those times when we get in a hurry,

We'll say,

You know,

I don't like this feeling.

I'm missing out so much on life.

I'd rather slow down and enjoy life more.

When we begin to slow down,

What happens is we truly begin to truly begin to savor life so much more than when we're in a hurry.

It's amazing to me how often people just rush through life.

But when we slow down,

We see life and we experience life.

And what can happen is if we don't cultivate this skill as we get older,

And let's say we approach retirement and we retire,

If we've been going at a hundred miles per hour,

I really believe we'll find that slowing down one will be challenging and two won't go well.

It is far better to ease into life and slow down with each year.

Keep making improvements.

Remember this is step four.

And step four is keep getting better.

Take more vacations,

Take more time off.

Don't go to work as often,

Spend more time in nature,

Be more present.

And we just keep improving.

And when our goal is throughout our life,

Just keep getting better and better at it.

And you know,

It's funny.

There's a saying that so many people say when they get older,

Time just flies by.

Do you want to know a secret?

That is not true for me.

Time has never just flown by.

It goes at the same pace now,

Perhaps even more slowly than when I was younger.

I think it's because I spend a lot of time being present and not just doing the same things over and over again.

I'm an explorer and I like to try and explore and see different things because I'm present.

But as I get older,

I have not found that time goes by faster at all.

And I like that a lot.

So I don't know if you'll see the same effect,

But if you do,

Let me know.

Or if life just keeps going by faster and faster,

That's okay too,

Of course.

It's just,

I haven't met very many people that have had the same experience that I do.

For most people,

As they get older,

Time goes by more quickly.

But what if today we really committed to these four steps?

One,

We're aware that we're too busy.

Two,

We start practicing,

Slowing down.

Three,

We have things in place that remind us to keep us present,

To keep us practicing.

And four,

We just keep getting better.

We keep improving.

With these four things in place,

Guess what?

Something wonderful can happen throughout our lives.

Our lives can just keep getting better because when we notice life,

When we connect with people,

When we connect with experiences and savor,

Truly savor the experiences of life,

It is good.

And the great thing is,

Unlike so many things as we get older,

Which get worse,

This can get better to our dying breath.

We do have to commit to slowing down and experiencing truly savoring life and all its numerous experiences.

But when we do that and we practice this and we get better at it and we keep improving,

What we will find,

I truly believe,

Is that life is a beautiful adventure all the way to our dying breath.

Thank you for joining me on the Happiness Podcast.

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And until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.

Reviews

Dr Puff is truly amazing

Thank you 😊

This was thought provoking and just what I needed right now, coming off the too busy holidays. Thank you!

A good podcast certainly made sense thank you for that

Good practical tips to stay in the presence of now. I really enjoyed the session thank you

Insightful and Solid advice❣️🙏🏻💕

Going to practice these suggestions

Excellent advice. Slow down and enjoy the life. Don't rush.

Thank you very much 🙏

Nothing I don't already know, but Wow! Great reminder and you are so right. Thank you so much 💖