Fire Drill: Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Dr. Richard Schwartz guides the listener through the experience of addressing complicated, and sometimes difficult, relationships. During this meditation, Dr. Schwartz helps the listener examine the triggers in those relationships and then get to know their own parts' needs in a safe and supportive manner.

Transcript

So we'll take some more deep breaths.

This time,

Think of a person in your life who really seems to get your goat,

Seems to trigger all kinds of protectiveness inside of you.

Could be a family member,

Someone you work with.

Could even be a celebrity of some kind.

Your mind's eye,

Put that person in a room by him or herself,

You're outside the room watching him or her through a window.

And as you watch that person,

Have them do the thing that seems to get you.

Have them do the thing that triggers you.

And just notice now the parts of you that are outside the room with you,

Wanting to protect you or reacting in a vulnerable way to the person.

You may only notice one in a big way,

Or there might be a whole room full of them out there with you.

Now you don't have to go into the room with a person at all.

We're just going to spend a little time getting to know these parts.

So see if you can get curious about them.

And let's start with the ones who want to protect you.

Just spend a little time getting to know what they're afraid would happen if they didn't come up with this person.

They didn't try to take over,

Step in front of you.

They didn't try to be the ones to deal with him or her.

What they're afraid would happen.

And see if in that conversation you learn enough to actually show them appreciation for how hard they work to protect you from people like this.

How hard they've had to work in the past to keep you safe.

You can also learn about the parts they protect from this person.

Thank you for watching.

It may be enough to just learn about these protective parts and the vulnerable ones they protect.

And you could spend the rest of the time continuing that.

But if it felt safe you could also ask if they would be willing to let you enter the room while they stayed outside.

They could watch through the window if they wanted.

See if they're willing to let you go in and be with this person.

Not so the person will change.

But just to see how it goes,

How it is.

To let you handle him or her as an experiment.

And again there's no pressure,

They don't have to allow that,

If it doesn't feel right.

But if they give permission then go ahead and enter the room,

Noticing how you're feeling with this person without your parts.

And interact with him or her in whatever way feels right and natural to you.

And if as you're interacting you sense one of those parts coming in,

See if it's possible for it to trust you and actually to go back outside.

Again,

Reassuring it that you can handle this.

Thank you.

And whenever the time feels right you can go back to your parts outside the room and see how they react.

See how they think you did.

You might also want to know from them how willing they are to let you actually do this in the outside world with this person.

When all that feels complete you can begin to shift your focus back outside.

Come on back.

Thank you.

Reviews

Wow, my process with this was deep- took me back to a young exile who was judged and shamed for speaking what was on their heart. I was able to meet them as me, and handle the situation with compassion - to help them sense and express their values, to validate their emotions, to resolve and offer this activity to the class that she was humiliated in, for the benefit of all. It showed me how that's how I am with children, responding to the present moment and being careful, where unfortunately the caregiver in the memory did not have those skills. Amazing to offer IFS to this part which I have met before in other practices. The protector needed to go far away from the person, out of reach, into a treehouse, and was not comfortable for me to meet the person on this occasion, so I paused at that point to inquire deeper, and will revisit this practice. Thank you so much!

This session helped me experience more spaciousness. When I gave caring attention to the part of me that felt fear, I was able to hold the fear so that this part was not carrying it alone. Easing the burden of this young part and helping her system feel some relief.

Never previously had I been exposed to this type of therapeutic approach. It certainly is innovative. Not so much a meditative experience as it is a thought experiment with heavy visualization. The long pauses are productive and effective as they are spacious. I’d be willing to explore more sessions. 👌🏼

Thank you Richard. I’m currently doing IFS and I’m using this to get to know my parts. I have very strong protectors and managers and I need a safe space to connect with them. This was perfect. 👌

A helpful visualization. I may need to come back to this a few times to better understand my reactions.

This short practice really helped me get some further insight and decrease the blendedness with some parts. It was Pretty powerful & helpful . Thank you. I’ll use this again. 🙏

I love this work so much. It’s so healing . And Dr Schwartz has a very nice voice

So very grateful to you and all I have learnt about the parts of me. Thank you! 🙏

Very good. I saw my ex husband in the room….the protectors that react to him….went in and right back out b/c he is not safe for me to be vulnerable around. But very interesting seeing why I’ve gotten so triggered by him.

That was interesting. I will repeat it to help me get better at relating to my parts.

This was really powerful, and at every step this meditation provided safety. I can see how all of these different meditations showcasing IFS techniques could be revisited many times; and each time finding a new awareness that supports growth.

Very interesting, practical, soothing and healing, I will return to this meditation, many thanks 🙏🥰💚

Doc.. I love your work. I am an Iraq war Veteran who happens to be a therapist who Works with Veterans and active duty service members. Can you please make you please open a training available to providers in the Veterans Adminstration and Depertment of Defense?

This is truly helpful! Thank you very much! 🙏🏻💕🦋

Really enjoy these meditations and the time to pause and be with parts as I learn to indentify them
Thank you!

Thank you so much. I will try this in real life. I remember so well in my childhood how good it felt when someone stood up for me.

Very interesting & helpful. Short meditations but incredibly effective, better than therapy for someone w cPTSD like me. Thanks Dr Schwartz!

I suspect one of my parts snuck into the room with me, but most of them stayed out. And they liked how I handled it, but aren't quite ready to let me do it on my own for real. This was a wonderful experiment, and I'm grateful for the reminder to thank my protector parts and comfort the ones who are scared or hurt.

Great as always! Thank you again for this wonderful method of encountering!🙏

Soo powerful, the person i put in the room, just imagining her was making me feel out of control, full of rage, and in the end of the meditation (i didn't enter in there room) just watched her from the window, i saw how she was suffering and i felt compassion toward her ♥️ my protectors told me to do this exercise some more times in order to let me go in the room. I will. Thank you 🙏