This is a guided meditation for navigating through grief and trauma triggers on your healing journey.
When we've experienced traumatic loss and are in a healing space as we recover from grief and navigate through the sorrow,
Triggers are different from our classic PTSD triggers.
They are enhanced by our internal experiences and memories that are tied to what used to be and no longer is,
And therefore can be much more profuse as well as intense because they can wake us from the night,
They can be brought on through any type of experience in our day-to-day life,
From hearing a song on the radio to the smell of somebody walking by reminding us of the one that is no longer here.
When we have both the combination of traumatic grief as well as PTSD,
This is significantly amplified and can bring on feelings of deep shame,
Remorse,
Loss,
As well as responsibility tied to the experience of what has happened.
This exercise is going to include the Havening Touch as the neurobiological opportunity for helping the mind-body system proactively heal and recover from grief.
The Havening Touch has been shown to electrochemically shift our mind-body system and at its core change the way our amygdala is making sense of the sensory data that has resulted in the trigger.
It will also include different types of distractions,
Which are a core part of the CPR for the amygdala exercise,
Along with the Creating Possibilities Protocol in order to start to build neural links or new brain freeways to where we would like to be as we heal and recover.
The Havening Touch includes four fundamental touches.
Palm Havening,
Imagine almost as though you're washing your hands under warm water.
The Havening Hug,
Fingertips on your shoulders and moving gently down your arms as though you're giving yourself a loving,
Soothing,
Moving hug.
Touches across the brow,
As though you're windshield wiping across your eyebrows and wrapping around your cheekbones as though you're wiping away a tear.
These touches may be applied in any order that feels comfortable and safe for you.
The most important thing is to remember that this is a loving act and to be gentle and soothing and kind in the application of the Havening Touch.
As we begin,
I'd like to invite you to welcome in a gentle,
Soothing breath,
Breathing in to a count of four,
Three,
Two,
One,
And an easy release to a count of five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Beautiful.
Turn your attention inward and notice any experiences in your mind and body system that are continuing to create an experience of sorrow,
Grief,
Or loss.
Any memories that intrude into your daily life.
Once you've found that experience,
You're just going to gently sense into its presence.
We're not going to fully focus the entirety of our attention on it,
We're simply going to notice that,
Oh,
That's there.
And as you notice it,
Does anything change in your mind and body system?
We're sensing the experience and noticing it as we're gently applying that soothing Havening Touch,
Moving in with curiosity and kindness to greet the experiences of our mind and body here and now.
All data is good data,
Especially as we're on a healing and personal empowerment journey.
Now that you've noticed this experience,
I invite you to once again welcome in a soothing breath,
Breathing in to a count of four,
Three,
Two,
One,
And release to a count of six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
You're doing beautifully.
Now I'd like to invite you to look around your environment and identify any three objects in your space that if you were to reach out and touch them,
They would be soft to the touch.
And as you notice each one,
Even imagine feeling it underneath your fingertips,
And what does that softness feel like?
Notice three specific qualities of that specific type of soft.
Is it furry like a stuffed animal or even a beloved pet?
Or perhaps smooth and soft to the touch,
Like the experience of velvet or silk?
Does it even perhaps have some texture as you reach out and imagine touching it that your fingers would run across,
Tracing something embroidered on a pillow,
Or noticing the experience of the stitching?
Now I'd like to invite you to look around your space again and find any four objects that if you were to reach out and touch them,
They would be smooth to the touch.
And as you find and connect with each object,
Notice as well its color and add a nuance to the color.
If it's perhaps a silver,
Is it a deep silver or a light silver?
Or like a pewter or a steel?
Or if the color is red,
Is it a warm red or is it a blue red?
Is it a red you've seen before?
As you find each object that would be smooth to the touch,
Notice the nuance of its color and deepen your connection with that object.
You're doing beautifully.
Now I'd like to invite you once again to welcome in a gentle,
Soothing breath.
Breathing in to a count of four,
Three,
Two,
One,
And release to a count of six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
And one more gentle breath in,
Really noticing how your mind and body welcome in the oxygen and the air,
The loving act of breathing,
How this automatic experience allows you to empower your world and your mind-body system.
Breathing in,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One,
And out,
Six,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Very good.
Now I'd like to invite you to once again gently sense into that experience that you identified at the beginning of this work,
Noticing your mind and body,
Being curious about this information so you're gently connecting with it,
Saying,
Hi,
I see you there.
My mind says that you're very important as a data point.
And now explore if there's a different experience you would like to have when this data point arises again in the future.
As we know our life journeys are complex and we come across data all the time that our mind and body has wrapped meaning around,
That has given purpose to,
And we often have the opportunity to change the meaning of that data with intention.
Is there a way that you'd like to feel instead the next time you experience this type of information?
Perhaps a feeling of being grounded.
Perhaps a feeling of connection,
That rather than being overwhelmed by bitter and the experience of loss,
Your brain,
Your mind can instead say,
Oh,
This data is important because something mattered to me and I can value that experience that mattered and I can reconnect to the meaning of the moment and why this information is important.
As you connect to that experience,
Let's give that data a new job.
What is the sweet side of this information?
Why is this information important?
And float back through the course of your life and let's find two or three moments where this type of experience was positive.
Why your brain tagged it as something to grieve and mourn now that it's gone.
In grief we can get so lost in the darkness and in the pain and forget that the darkness and the pain exists because there was joy and love,
Because there was connection and caring.
And so let's find those beautiful seeds of connection and caring.
Let's bring those to our awareness with loving kindness and thank our journey for allowing us to have these experiences and noticing those little glimmers.
As we recover through our grieving journey,
As we navigate the experiences of sorrow and loss,
The value and remembering that grief is an experience that arises when we have valued what no longer is,
Can become a critical healing balm as we move forward.
And the more that we connect with that healing balm and turn inward with gratitude and care,
The more likely it is for our system to turn inward to us and respond with compassion and gentleness and for our brain to empower itself to heal.
And we can start to turn those triggers into opportunities,
Into moments where our brain is saying,
I miss what was.
And we can harness that to say,
I see you brain.
Let's heal that sorrow.
Let's partner with the loss and remember the sweetness that came before.
I invite you to consistently lean in and be in partnership with your mind and body on this journey.
Grief softens with time.
And grief is a companion that walks alongside us.
Remembering that we have loved,
That we have laughed,
And that we have cared deeply enough to now grieve is a powerful healing opportunity within the grieving journey.
As we bring this meditation to a close,
I invite you to welcome in another gentle,
Soothing breath at your own pace,
Turning gratitude inward and thanking your mind,
Thanking your body,
Thanking your brain for taking the time to go on this loving journey that may have been painful.
And the act of loving care that you have shown yourself has already begun to create new neural pathways to guide the way forward and to build your future.
You are worthy of this journey.
You are strong and you are resilient.
Keep breathing.
You've got this.
