A Simple Trick To Stop Negative Thinking

Do ever find yourself stuck in negative thoughts, overwhelmed with self-critical voices or amping your nervous system with overthinking? I'm going to share a popular acronym that can show you how to stop the negative thoughts and control the anxiety that is there. Not only that, if you employ this simple trick, you'll also find you'll be building greater emotional and mental health.

Transcript

In my experience,

Negative thinking is one of the greatest plagues of our time.

If you're too familiar with it,

You already know it makes you feel anxious.

It can keep you stuck in depressed mood.

It can be a source of re-traumatizing yourself.

And also hold you back from paying attention to the things you want to focus on and doing the things you want to do and generally being happier in life.

And so today I'm going to introduce an acronym to you.

I love this acronym and it's going to dispel the negative thought and help put you back in the driver's seat of your life.

If you've ever heard me talk or watched my videos or read my books or are part of my coaching program,

You know I always say that there's no real silver bullet for our mental health.

In fact,

I typically talk about the changes we want to make more like a change journey where sometimes we feel like we're on the flow,

Other times we're kind of at the bottom and we can learn to make those our greatest teachers.

However,

There is a simple truth that wherever our focus goes,

We invite an energy to flow.

And there are ways that we can begin to shift our focus in a healthier direction and this acronym is one trick that can begin to shift our thoughts and control any anxiety that's there.

Also this tip is so great that it's not only about helping us feel more in control of our negative thoughts,

It's also about opening up a greater perspective.

It's also about shifting our focus in a healthier direction so we can unlock a greater sense of personal control to live in line with our integrity,

To live in healthier ways that are going to make us feel ultimately happier.

It was actually originally designed to be something to pause and think about before we communicate with somebody so we can have healthier,

More optimal communication,

But we're communicating with ourselves all the time.

And so we can use it in our own minds to be able to dispel the negative thoughts and open up to a healthier and happier way of life.

Okay,

If you're ready,

Now I'll share the acronym with you.

And I imagine at this point you're ready.

So the acronym is THINK.

It stands for is it true?

Is it helpful?

Is it inspiring?

Is it necessary?

Is it kind?

Now we have all kinds of thoughts typically in our day.

So if you've ever had the experience or you've been sitting there and you're saying to yourself things like I'm unlovable or people think I'm a fraud,

Or maybe you're thinking you're sitting there in the corner on your bed and thinking I'm worthless,

Or I make so many mistakes or maybe things are never going to get better,

Then it's time to begin to take a pause,

Take a deep breath,

Soften your body and employ this.

So we're going to start with the first one and then I'll go through each one and then you'll know how to do this for yourself.

Okay,

Absolutely do it for yourself.

So the first one is T.

Is it true?

We're just taking a moment to really think.

We're pausing,

Softening our bodies and thinking is it true?

So what I like to do with this one is ask ourselves a couple questions and I borrow a little bit from author and speaker Byron Katie around this where we ask ourselves like okay so let's think of the thought I'm unlovable or I'm a fraud or for a lot of people right now there is the thought of things are never going to get better and we ask ourselves if it's true and the first response typically is like yeah,

It's true.

This is really how I feel.

And then we ask ourselves a question.

We just take this T one step deeper and we say is it absolutely true?

Do I know this for a fact?

And then we typically say well I don't know this for a fact.

So now we go to the next one.

So what happens is we now open the door.

We open the door a little bit for a shift in perspective.

So we go to the next one.

H.

Is it helpful?

So in this particular case we're asking ourselves is it helpful?

Is it useful?

This thought things are never going to get better or I'm unlovable or I'm worthless or I'm a fraud.

Any of these types of thoughts right?

And so we ask ourselves is it helpful?

Is it a helpful thought?

We look at it.

As I'm a fraud a helpful thought or is it useful in any way?

And in that moment we might again create more of a space between stimulus and response.

We might sit more into a space of perspective.

Actually it's not really that useful these thoughts.

There's not a lot of utility behind them.

It's not helping me be healthier,

Happier,

Be more focused on what matters and or any of that.

And so consider those as just the first two.

We asked is it true?

Is it absolutely true?

Now we ask is it helpful?

Is it useful?

Right these are just ways of beginning to inquire to create more space between stimulus and response.

Inspiring.

Okay so inspiring our thoughts that information that tends to lift us up or pull us in the direction of the life we want to live or the way we want to perceive in life.

The things we want to spend our attention on.

Remember wherever our focus goes,

Wherever our attention goes we invite an energy to flow.

So we want to focus on things that are inspiring to us.

And so we ask ourselves the question like I am worthless or I am a fraud or I'm unlovable.

Are these thoughts that strip us of our energy and take our energy away or do they pull us to the place we want to be?

Now hold on a second.

Now it's not so black and white necessarily.

Maybe if there's a thought that says like right now I'm worthless because I'm really not doing anything in my life and I'm you know just kind of a vegetable and watching TV all day and I'm not exercising,

Not taking care of myself.

Hey if that thought inspires you and motivates you to start moving and taking care of yourself then maybe it's okay.

So it's not so black and white.

And so but for most of us thoughts like I'm unlovable,

I'm worthless or I'm a fraud or nothing's ever going to get better.

These aren't thoughts that typically lift us up and bring us energy and are moving us in the direction of the life we want to live.

All right so we're just trying to get some clarity.

And again not so black and white.

We want to investigate it with curiosity.

We don't want to just ask these questions rhetorically.

Is it inspiring?

I'm worthless?

No it's not.

I'm going to say like well let's look at it.

No it's actually depleting.

It's taking my energy away.

It's not giving me energy towards the life I want to live.

Maybe instead if you're listening to these uninspired thoughts we might want to instead just kind of replace it.

Maybe get a good book that you feel like is inspiring and read that book and see if you can find something in there that's inspiring that will begin to lift you up.

So consider that.

Is it inspiring?

Okay so the next letter is N.

Is it necessary?

So I think about catastrophizing in this sense.

So the kind of thoughts that are like the world's going to hell in the handbasket or oh my god I just got this negative report for my job and I'm going to lose my job now or this one thing happened to my family and everything's going to implode or I just saw this news about COVID or something else and like everything's going back to the way it was or you know whatever it might be.

And so we're asking ourselves is it necessary?

It's me ruminating on this thought.

Necessary.

Because maybe it is.

We all have to spend time and think about it.

And so we take time to journal about that thought.

World's going to hell in a handbasket.

We think about it right?

Or maybe it's like you know what?

No.

It's not inspiring.

It's not necessary.

In fact it's again stripping my energy away and what's necessary is me to focus on my work or focus on the people I love and spend time with that or focus on reading more inspiring things or listening to more inspiring things.

Maybe that's what's necessary for me right now.

Or maybe what's necessary is for me to just put all this down and go take a walk,

Go exercise,

Move my body or maybe sit down and do some meditation and be with myself.

Or maybe what's necessary is for me to actually bring in more content in my mind that's more humorous.

Bring in some things that are going to bring a little levity to my life.

Maybe that's necessary.

So we're starting to get a clear sense.

Is it true?

Is it helpful or useful?

Is it inspiring?

Is it necessary?

Okay,

Last one.

Is it kind?

Is it kind?

Are these thoughts kind?

I know research shows that the more we bring kindness into our minds and our lives it actually has a neurophysiological impact.

Increases vagal tone which is the tenth cranial nerve that connects the brain to the heart.

When vagal tone is high,

Measured by heart rate variability we tend to feel better.

When it's low we tend to feel more anxious and depressed.

So focusing on kindness,

Kind thoughts can be really helpful.

Now kindness is a little bit tricky because kindness doesn't just mean flowers and roses.

Sometimes kindness is fierce.

Sometimes kindness says like,

Yeah I have been sitting on the couch lift for days at a time or drinking too much or eating too much.

I haven't been taking care of my body.

Kindness is like,

Hey man,

Let's get up,

Let's start moving our body,

You're going to feel better.

So that's sometimes kindness.

Kindness is also thinking about people in your life that you care about and love and wishing them well.

Wishing them to be happy,

Filling your mind with that kind of content or wishing people who are suffering to feel healthier and better or find relief from their suffering or for yourself.

Self-compassion is a great way to fill your mind and body with kindness.

But is this thought,

I'm unlovable or I'm a fraud,

Are these kind thoughts?

If not,

We take note of them and if we look at them too,

They might be depleting to us.

We say,

How can I infuse my mind with more kindness?

How can I infuse my mind with more truth,

Things that are helpful and useful,

Things that are inspiring,

Things that are necessary and things that are kind?

How can I begin to create a garden in my mind and body around this?

So we can learn again to use this think acronym not only to dispel the negative thoughts,

It can,

You notice them,

Bring yourself through this.

You'll begin to get some real clarity and it will begin to strip the energy away from it.

But we also open ourselves up to a whole new world of choice and possibility and being able to focus in a way that brings the kind of energy we want in our life that's moving us towards a life that's more inspired,

Gives us more energy,

Fills us with hope,

Fills us with a sense of love in our life,

Focusing on what matters so we can ultimately enjoy life even more.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thanks for this. I have heard portions of this before as well. It’s really helpful to put it in an acronym. I like to add is it mine( which is also from Byron Katie and added an E to that so it’s says “think me”. The E I thought could be elevating? Is this bringing me to a new level of thinking or is there a way I can reframe this thought to elevate myself and my energy level.

Thank you so much. Very helpful and insightful. I’ll definitely try it out.

Love acronyms! Easy to remember and apply. Will put this to use immediately in my life.

I needed to hear this

Thought provoking and worth implementing 🌸🙏

This helps me, thanks!

Thank you. A great way to focus on the positive and stay curious ❤️

Loved the acronym. Really made me STOP and THINK about that negative thinking. Lifted my Spirit. Just what I needed to carry on. Thank you

Love the acronym! Wrote down all the steps and can see how it will be helpful.

Thank you! Blessings
🙏🏻👼🏻💙

Fabulous way to bring Byron Katie’s work to a very accessible daily practice in the moment. Thank you.

Useful & memorable. Thank you!

Very good! Thanks 😊 🙏

Your talk met all the criteria of THINK.

Thank you 🙏 for the inspiration. 💖💖💖

Magnifico

Fab, practical way to interrupt negative thinking. Thank you 🙏

Thank you for offering this helpful acronym. I appreciated the examples given as well.

Also helpful thank you

Thanks for the great acronym, Elisha! Just what I needed, of late! ☺️