7 Daily Habits To Ease An Anxious Mind And Be Happier

Want to know 7 daily habits to ease an anxious mind and be happier? If you ever struggle with stress management or turning down anxiety in your nervous system, this talk will teach you my personal strategies for key stress relief tips and boost your daily mental health! If you want to master how to cope with anxiety, then you need to play with these 7 mindful tips on how to cope with anxiety and increase access to more personal control and joy in your life. Don’t feel that you’re alone, you can learn how to reduce stress and anxiety naturally – and be happier!

Transcript

Hi,

It's Elisha Goldstein.

I'm not sure how to turn the volume down on daily stress and anxiety.

I'm gonna share seven daily habits that have been so powerful for me and the thousands of clients that I've worked with to bring more calm,

Ease,

And joy into daily life.

I've used these daily habits to stay grounded and focused,

Especially in turbulent times,

And I teach it to everyone I work with.

I've helped people individually,

I've helped them online to feel more in control of their minds and lives,

And I'm excited to help you do the same.

Okay,

So here are seven ways to really ease the stress and anxiety in our lives on a daily basis.

Okay,

So here's the first one,

Very simple.

The first thing we wanna do is recognize that when we are stressed,

The importance and the purpose of stress in particular is to start ramping up our nervous system so we can either fight,

Flee,

Run away,

Or freeze if things seem hopeless.

And so our nervous system is starting to amp up and that tells our mind that there's something impending or dangerous about to happen.

So the first thing we wanna do is move through our body.

Recognize that our body's in a nervous system reaction,

Just that first recognition brings more blood flow to the prefrontal region,

Which is involved with emotion regulation and impulse control.

So then what we wanna do is once we recognize that and notice where we're actually bracing in our body,

We wanna do the opposite.

Think of this as opposite action right now.

We want to begin to notice where the bracing is in our body and begin to unwind that.

So sometimes we can do that just by,

With our own mind,

Like softening muscles,

Just taking a deep breath and just releasing and softening.

Other times our muscles are really wound up because the anxiety response is really there.

Remember,

Anxiety is also a mixture of fear and uncertainty that's there.

So you just don't really know what's around the corner.

So it brings up anxiety.

And that could be imagined.

That could be your brain just catastrophizing something that's not actually happening.

For example,

That I might lose my job and we start getting really anxious about that.

Or I don't know if people around me are sick or ill or it could be anything.

So I might get sick or ill,

But there's uncertainties.

A fear and uncertainty match up to create anxiety.

And so,

And that creates this nervous system reaction.

So the bundle that's happening within us,

We're gonna take a deep breath and just soften our bodies.

Or we can even recognize where the tension or holding is in our body and begin to open it up a little bit.

So in other words,

We're working through our bodies here,

Noticing where the tension is.

I know for me,

Sometimes it's in my chest,

For other people,

It's in their stomach,

For other people,

It's in their shoulders,

For other people,

It's in their face.

And so what we can do is we begin to just open that part of our body up.

And quite literally,

We can really just do a gentle stretch or take our breath and expand it into that area of the body,

Breathe out,

Release.

I know in one of my programs that I run is a personal coaching program called Uncover the Power Within.

One of the first practices we do is this releasing practice because that's where we wanna begin.

That's the foundation of this.

And so the first step is recognize where we're bracing,

Begin to unwind it,

Release it,

Or you can literally kind of shake it out if you want to,

Or you can dance if you want to and move it that way,

Whatever you wanna do.

We wanna kind of begin to loosen things up and soften it.

That way,

What we're doing is we're working through our body to shift our nervous system,

Which tells our brain that,

Okay,

So maybe things are okay.

So that's number one.

Notice where you're bracing,

Begin to soften it in all those various ways.

Number two,

Recognize again,

The stress response,

What it's about is ramping us up,

Getting us going fast.

And when we go fast,

Our brain also goes really fast,

Right?

And so what we wanna do is begin to slow down a little bit.

Again,

We work through our body.

So what do we do?

We start moving,

We start doing slow physical movements,

Slow physical movements.

So literally,

I tell people who are,

If you're walking down the road,

Try walking slightly slower.

If you're moving in your house and doing dishes,

Try doing them just slightly slower.

We don't have to like go slow motion or anything like that,

But slightly slower,

Again,

Tells the brain that,

Oh,

Maybe I don't need to ramp up so much.

So it could be anything like that.

If I'm showering,

Try not to shower so quickly and with the soap and,

You know,

Try doing it slightly slower.

That might be the mantra for the day,

Slightly slower.

And because again,

By doing that,

By using our body to engage our body in this way,

We're sending the brain the opposite signal that,

Oh,

Maybe I don't need to be so anxious,

Right?

Maybe there's not so much to worry about in this moment.

Maybe I can just take back control of my mind and my body.

And so that's mindfulness,

By the way.

We're using awareness,

That space in between stimulus and response where choice,

Possibility and growth lie to realize perspective and more choice points.

And in this space,

What we're doing is we're saying,

Okay,

I'm going to choose to go slightly slower and see what I notice.

We wanna have a playful attitude through this whole thing,

Right?

So that's number two.

Okay,

Number three,

I want you to begin to build a bit more certainty in your day.

Remember what I said about anxiety?

How anxiety is fear and uncertainty.

There's nothing wrong with fear.

Fear is a natural human emotion.

It's when fear gets mixed with uncertainty that now we create this anxious feeling.

And that's delivered through us,

Through the news all the time and through political figures and a variety of people in a variety of ways to create more uncertainty.

And then that creates anxiety.

It's not a mystery why in this last year,

We've moved from people in the United States anyway,

Showing like one in 12 showing symptoms of anxiety disorder to one in three.

So what we wanna do is say,

Okay,

So what's the opposite action of that?

So let me see if I can build more certainty into my day.

So one of the ways of doing that is by creating routine.

So think about that.

Whenever there's instability,

Even with kids,

If you're someone who has kids or has had kids,

One of the things when there's instability in the marriage or things are changing,

Moving houses,

Moving schools,

As adults in our life,

When there's instability or instability in our mind,

We wanna help create certainty and stability.

So that's with creating routines.

So think about your sleep,

Think about your exercise,

Think about if you have a contemplative practice like a meditation,

Think about the way you engage,

Maybe the people who you live with,

If you have people that you live with in your life.

In what way can I start to create routine in my life?

And if you can begin to do that and you can count on it,

Maybe even put it in your schedule.

At this time,

I do this,

At this time,

I do that,

At this time,

I do this.

Even a better,

Even a bonus if there are things that are for your health and wellbeing,

Including compassion-based practices,

For example.

One of the issues with anxiety is that we activate the part of our brain that's involved with self-referencing.

So it's always about me,

What does this have to do with me?

What's my,

How's this gonna impact me in the future?

Or what does this have to do with me in the past?

So much so that we get kind of sick of ourselves.

And so what we wanna do is build more certainty into our day,

Turn the volume down.

We'll talk about that in a minute and to begin to build more certainty.

What are my routines?

Maybe a routine that's about me getting outside of myself is making sure every day I contact someone that I care about and tell them what I really appreciate about them.

That's like a little extra bonus here.

That's not even one of these seven,

That's not even one of these seven,

But I wanna give you an extra bonus.

Try that out for yourself,

Be playful with it and see what you notice.

But build that into your day.

What would it be like even right now?

If you could pause this video and you can,

And you can think about someone you appreciate in your life and just send them out a text.

See how that feels.

See if that maybe feels like an anti-anxiety.

If this is resonating with you,

Make sure to hit the like button below.

And also consider what's the best natural anti-anxiety habit that you've put in place that's helped you the most.

Go ahead and comment below.

Let's gather the wisdom of the community here.

Okay,

Number four,

Come to your senses throughout the day.

What do I mean by that?

To ease a worried mind,

To ease an anxious mind,

One of the things that we know is there's an inverse relationship between the part of our brain that's worrying and ruminating and self-referencing me,

As I said before,

And the part of us that's actually really present to our senses.

I'll explain this.

Okay,

So if you're eating a really great meal and you're really into it,

Think of like your most favorite meal that you've ever had,

And you're really tasting that meal,

Odds are you're really not worrying that much in that moment.

And if you're eating a really great meal,

But you're worrying a lot at that moment,

You're not really tasting that meal.

So if we practice really coming to our senses,

Our sense of smell,

Of hearing,

Of taste,

Of sight,

Of feeling,

Or even sensing internally into our body,

Which is called interoception,

We can turn the volume down on our worrying without even really trying.

And so try this as an experiment.

This is something I call a three by three practice,

Really simple.

Go,

You could do this right now,

Or you can do this sometime today while you're on a walk or outside or wherever.

One of my favorite places to do this is when I'm on a trip or a vacation somewhere,

And because those are times you really also don't want to miss,

But we can get caught in our heads during those times too,

Worrying about all the details and making sure everyone's having a good time or that we're having a good time.

And so consider this three by three practice.

Come to your,

Think about what are three things that I'm seeing right now?

See if you can kind of attend to each one of those things.

Then ask yourself,

What are three things I'm hearing right now?

And then listen and see if you can identify three things that you're actually hearing.

And then ask yourself,

What are three things that I'm feeling right now?

And you can literally take your hands and actually feel these things.

We used to take,

My wife and I used to take teens on a day long retreat.

We used to take them on a hike,

And we had this guided practice that we would do on the hike,

Or we would bring them through this practice as a guided practice.

But we do it with all,

We do it with five senses instead of three.

And you can make this a five by five practice or a three by three practice,

But it's something to just begin to experiment with in your life.

Go on a walk next to your on a walk,

Go ahead and bring this three by three practice alive and see how it allows you to really kind of ground a little bit more to your body and feel a little bit more connected to everything that's around you.

Because consider anxiety and stress is an experience of disconnection.

Again,

Our brain is starting to self-reference ourselves,

And so we're disconnecting from the world around us.

So what we're trying to do is not try and actively turn our anxiety down.

Like let me just really try to turn my anxiety down.

Instead,

We're just shifting our focus.

Because wherever our focus goes,

We tend to invite an energy to flow.

And what we're doing is we're focusing outside of ourselves.

And therefore in doing that,

We tend to take the energy away from the part of our brain that is igniting the worries and the stress and the catastrophizing and things like that.

So again,

Coming to your senses throughout the day.

Okay,

So number five,

Release the critic.

We know that we're so hard on ourselves a lot of the time.

And so every time we make a mistake or we get in an anxious state or we fall short from an expectation that we had,

Or we have a difficult interaction with somebody else,

And we get so hard on ourselves,

Telling ourselves that we're not good enough or we're deficient or defective in some way.

And that shame actually ignites the same centers of our brain that stress does.

So by being self-critical,

We actually pour stress on top of the stress and anxiety that's already there and we exacerbate it.

So one way of releasing it is just by,

The first step is just by recognizing it.

Just like we did in the beginning with where do you brace?

Here,

We're just recognizing that we're being so hard on ourselves in that moment.

And after that,

We can begin to release it,

Either in the same way that we did with the very first part of this video here,

Or what we can do is we can recognize like,

This is a difficult moment right now.

I'm being so hard on myself.

And you know,

In life,

That's part of life.

I'm not alone in this.

There's millions and millions of people around the world that are so self-critical and so self-hard on themselves.

And it's almost like a habit.

It's a really unhealthy mental habit.

It's good to look at ourselves and be curious and say like,

Well,

Okay,

How can I improve?

But typically that's not the way it goes.

We're just like pouring stress on top of the stress and anxiety that's already there.

And so we say,

This is a tough moment,

You know,

Hey,

In life,

There's tough moments.

And the question I wanna do another 180 degrees shift.

So rather than thwacking myself with a stick,

What I'm gonna do is turn towards myself and ask myself,

What is it that I'm needing right now?

The essential question around self-compassion.

What am I needing right now?

What I'm really needing right now is more acceptance.

What I'm really needing right now is to just release this self-critical voice and instead just go outside and take a walk into the sunshine splashing my face.

What I'm really needing right now is to do a real inquiry as to ways that I can make progress and to ways that I can improve.

That's okay too.

What am I needing right now?

What I'm really needing right now is to hash this out with a friend or talk to a trusted source of some kind to communicate and figure out like what went wrong or what I can do better next time.

What am I really needing is the question.

Because what you wanna do is shift it from a way of kind of stabbing yourself in some way to being able to be supportive.

That's a way of releasing the inner critic that's there.

Okay,

So that's really important.

Number six,

I want you to do a reality check.

Our mind,

The more stressed we are,

By the way the more sort of lies our mind begins to tell us or the more distortions of truth fall in there.

So doing a reality check,

One of my favorite ways to do a reality check is by going through Byron Katie's four questions.

I really appreciate this and I think there's no need to reinvent the wheel necessarily and I'm totally okay with taking stuff that I think is really practical and sharing her work in that way.

And these four questions are very simple and this is my adaptation of them.

You ask yourself that thought that I'm gonna lose my job.

Is that true?

Yeah,

It feels like it's true,

Number one,

That question.

But then we ask,

Is it absolutely true?

Am I certain that it's true 100% or either I'm gonna lose my job or I'm a terrible person or I'm never gonna be able to get over this anxiety or if I get on that airplane,

I'm not gonna be able to handle it or pick your own thing that you're anxious about.

If I have that conversation with my husband or wife or my child,

It's gonna go totally wrong.

It's gonna turn into a catastrophe.

Is it true?

It feels like it's true,

Okay.

Is it absolutely true?

Am I certain that it's true?

Is it 100% true?

Well,

I can't say that it's 100% true.

So here's where the mindfulness piece comes in.

What we're trying to do is objectify this thought to do a reality check.

So I'm getting a,

I call this the truth teller machine too.

And then I ask,

Okay,

So how does it make me feel?

It makes me feel scared inside when I think about it.

What does it make me wanna do?

Not do that thing.

So here's where now the fear is controlling us.

It makes me not wanna do that thing and guess what?

What we resist persists.

So we're now realizing this thought that's not even absolutely true is really controlling me,

Making me feel really scared and also making me take an action that the consequence of that is gonna be increased and sustained anxiety and fear.

So then I ask myself the question,

Okay,

So what would be different if this thought wasn't here?

Well,

If this thought wasn't here,

I'd probably have more energy to do that thing,

To take that risk,

To be more vulnerable maybe.

I would,

I'd feel more calm,

I'd feel more at ease.

So we wanna kind of do that.

That's a bit of a truth teller machine.

It gives us a little bit more of a reality check around how our emotional center of our brain is telling us is filtering our perception.

So we just ask ourselves again,

Those four questions are,

Is it true?

Is it absolutely true?

100%,

Am I certain that it's true?

And then once you get to a point where you're like,

I don't really know,

Make sure by the way,

You're asking the question about whatever that thing is that if I go talk to my partner,

It's gonna be a catastrophe.

If I get on the airplane,

I'm not gonna be able to handle it.

And so,

And then is that absolutely true 100%?

Not if it feels true.

This question is to simply yes or no.

Is it absolutely true?

Absolute.

And then how does it make me feel?

What does it make me wanna do?

And then what would be different if this thought wasn't here?

Another question that is part of that,

Another way of asking that fourth question is,

Who would I be without this thought?

So considering that,

That's one way of doing a reality check.

So write that down.

I hope you're taking notes and kind of play with that,

Explore it.

Playful mindset is the one we wanna do.

Finally,

The last one,

Number seven,

Which is one of my favorites,

Is really look up and listen.

This is a bit about coming to your senses too,

But a little bit differently.

I want you to go somewhere,

Lie down on a patch of grass or even within your house.

It works better even outside really.

And I want you to just look up and just see the clouds that are there.

Allow yourself to see the expansiveness that's there and just listen to the sounds around you.

Again,

Another way of coming to your senses,

But a little bit different posture and position than you're taking.

And it allows you to create a bit of a shift in perception in what you're seeing.

And I might just say,

It might just be really enjoyable.

So take all of these seven things,

Bring them into your life with a sense of playfulness,

Enjoy them.

And one of the most important things is just to take it as an experiment and to see what you notice.

Allow your experience to be your teacher.

Need more ideas on how to common anxious mind or maybe even flip it and build in more happiness in your life?

Download the five keys to happiness.

I'll create a link below for that.

And be sure to check out also this next video on a really a simple practice that's gonna bring a whole lot more joy into your day and maybe even into your life.

And I'll see you next time.

Reviews

Thank you for this great talk, I can truly relate to everything you have mentioned. 🙏

Excellent Sir ... Thanks for your Valuable Enlightenment..

Thank you so much for this talk! It actually gave me tools I can use to overcome this crippling anxiety. Again, thank you!

Good assortment of exercises to calm your mind and body.

That was great! Really needed this tonight. Thank you.
Blessings and Happy Holidays. 🙏🎅🤶🎄💛

Thank you for your time and effort to try to help people. Namaste 🙏🏽

Love these reminders thank you Elisha

I want to take notes next time.

Really enjoyed that. I’m sure I’ll be listening to it again and taking notes. Loved your upbeat personality. I feel happy just listening to you😀

Excellent!!!

Thank you 🙏 for sharing different tips for me to try. 😃🧡💗

Excellent! Clear useful examples to apply to everyday life!

I liked it! My only suggestion is if you could speak a bit slower cause there are many no English native language in Insight Timer and sometimes is hard to follow up 😁

Completely delightful and hugely practical. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you! These techniques are amazing and can really make a difference in the lives of anyone with anxiety.

Thank you 🙏 walking

Great tools!