How To Live Simply

We live in a time of more material abundance than ever, and our stuff may be making us less happy. How can we own our stuff without letting it own us? Simplify our lives to free up our time? Make our spaces easy and enjoyable to inhabit? In this episode, Rebekah and Azi explore all of this and more.

Reviews

I'm saving this one. ☺️ And I warn you, this is a LONG post, as much a review as it is a personal accounting of things I have learned as I listened to this interview. Perhaps my inner journey will help others. It will help me to articulate it, I know. I hope it serves a purpose beyond that, though. So it begins:

I have been trying to declutter and "right-size" my items for a long time. I have tried, with limited success, a number of methods - Konmari, FlyLady (which is more cleaning than decluttering, but decluttering does feature prominently in the methodology), Clutterbug, minimalism overall, capsule closets, specific techniques based on specific psychological issues, etc. All have been helpful in certain specific ways. However, I know (and have known) that there are underlying mental blocks that have kept me from finding as much sustained success in any program as I wish though.

I had an "ah-ha" moment or three or five, or.... while listening to this. My train of thought - bear with me here - went as follows:

* I am an experienced and graduate level mental health and disability services professional. I provide guidance to people with situations and perceptions that sometimes are reflective of them living with few material items - and they have lived for some time like that - so when we find employment for them and they start getting a paycheck, sometimes there is a rash of spending and acquiring. Like a thirsty person crossing the desert who learned how to survive, suddenly being given a gallon of water and drinking it all at once. It makes that thirsty person ill if not done thoughtfully and over time. In both examples, this behavior is coming from an attitude of scarcity rather than abundance.

* Mention in this recording of how those in our grandparents' generation fixed broken items and the discussion of basically the planned obselence of modern products really hit home. My two sides of my family were very different, yet both repaired items.
One set of great-grandparents immigrated to the USA (New York City) with their only child shortly before the Great Depression began. I remember helping to clean out my great-grandmother' house after her death, and though in retrospect it was like an episode of "Hoarders," she always, ALWAYS knew where everything was, how many of each item there were, and there was nothing really broken or anything that I recall. Just a lot of stuff - "Just in case," she would say. I understand why she had that perspective of threatened scarcity and wishing to be prepared for it.
My grandparents on the other side of my family were Midwestern farmers with multiple kids. They didn't have much, but it was quality, often homemade (including clothing), and repaired as needed. Consumables like plastic butter tubs were re-purposed into safety pin containers, with the outside decorated to cover the original label. Plastic bread bags were used to store or contain homemade bread or potentially leaky containers that were put into a bagged lunch. Gifts were often homemade, frequently a batch of a person's favorite cookies or muffins with an additional bag or jar of pre-mixed dry ingredients to make another batch - a precursor to boxed mixes in the grocery aisle today. It was a happy home, with a perspective of abundance and simplicity rather than scarcity.

* I myself have multiple medical issues which affect my own perspectives. I have a lot of "stuff," much of which is medical-related and necessary but infrequently used. I have a lot of totally unnecessary stuff though, too. I have been letting go of my old collections slowly, but I am low on energy and high in pain levels much of the time. I lost a lot of weight lately so my closet has been a priority for me. I also wear various braces at times, so my clothing needs to be able to accommodate that circumstance. I was/am a big box stores or Amazon buyer for convenience. A new brace? Find something at the local store to wear to work tomorrow that will accommodate it. Now though, I am trying to move in the DIRECTION of a capsule closet (not aiming for a specific number due to my specific personal requirements), but also reading up on what types of fabrics, fit, and style are most likely to serve me well long-term. I have some items like that already in my closet. They stay. The rest... Well, call this a work in progress.

* I firmly believe that the Universe is one of abundance, and that as a child of the Universe, abundance is also within me. Fear, however, continues to try to sabotage my efforts. The "what ifs" are pervasive. "What if I can't go back to work and the income isn't there to support us and our college-aged child?" "What if something happens to the one good shirt - I need a backup or two just in case."
I attempt to counter the fear by being prepared like my great-grandmother in NY, but I also repair my most beloved items and try to squeeze as much utility out of my favorite or most used items, as my Midwestern grandparents did. I truly am a blend of the two perspectives, and the limbo I have found myself in as a result is a messy yet mostly functional overabundance of unnecessary items. Plain old trash in some cases - empty plastic bags, old receipts, papers, etc.

* In order for any decluttering, minimizing, or organizational method to succeed, it needs to be sustainable. Therefore, the mindset must be firmly in place to MAKE it sustainable and a personal priority for increased happiness and peace of mind.
End result: Focus on inner work in the areas of fear of the future, stemming from scarcity/abundance attitude shifts; focus on self-confidence that I possess the creativity and intelligence to repair or find alternate ways to perform functions once done by a now-broken or never-owned item. (I mean, I love and use my spiralizer, but it's plastic and if it breaks, I COULD use a vegetable peeler or simply cut thin strips - though quite time consuming - until I could save up to buy a higher quality new spiralizer...if I even find the need to do so after a while.)
I have a MASSIVE Amazon wish list spanning 14 years due to my policy of putting things on a wish list if interested, or in my shopping cart to move to the "Save for Later" to prevent impulse purchases. I sleep on it before I buy, unless it's a regular purchase of specialty food/medical items or household needs that are not locally available to purchase (replacement filters for the vacuum, specific protein shakes that meet strict dietary guidelines needed by my medical conditions, etc.)

* In addition to the shift in mindset, accept and learn to embrace the adoption of specific tips and tricks from ALL the systems I have tried, and do not get too down on myself if I don't follow any given one "to the letter." I am me, a unique person, and I don't fit into a cookie-cutter program. I can take what works and leave the rest.

* My anxiety over how much I have to do in the home is directly proportional to visual clutter and actual clutter. Less clutter = less to clean = less anxiety = more time to do what I really want. (Ironically, this realization has bogged me down in getting very far in my fledgling career shift prep, as the new field generates a lot of documentation to track and I find myself reading tons on how to effectively organize my research...and not actually doing much of it as a result. "Analysis paralysis" at its finest. Oy vey.)

All of the above plus memories supporting these thoughts came to me as I listened to this talk. I also came up with two specific, concrete plans.
1) Establish a "study guide" of sorts for my meditative practice to address these deeper issues more thoroughly.
2) Create a weekly "big focus" list. I am currently out of work for a few more weeks on surgical recovery, but I am able to be up and about to a degree. I have time to tackle things that I may not have after returning to work. Today, I will pull out the handful of books I have dealing with the closet. I will take the two I have which strictly deal with fit and structure and clothing quality, determine the types of clothes that look best on me, and write the key points down. That one goal is all for today. Tomorrow, either before or after one of my medical appointments, I will look at all items I have hanging up and retain the ones that meet the "fit me well" category, trying on any I am not certain of since loosing 39+ lbs in the last 9 months. The others will either go to a donate or review pile. With a lifting limit of 10 lbs, I will have to be careful in disposing of items but I can get help. That is tomorrow. The next day, dresser drawer items and maybe some boxes. I have items still unboxed (and that I have been looking for) since our move to this house two years ago. This might take longer than a day, but I will get there eventually and that is okay. Some of those items may fit me once again, and if they meet fit/quality standards, I won't have to replace them with new items. (Win-win! I REALLY don't like clothes shopping.)

And things will continue like that. I need the visual task list. Organizing will be easier when there is less to organize, and I am now receiving many inherited durable items from two family members who passed away in the last few months. Some are sentimental, which will be dealt with differently. I've done that process before, though, so I know what works for me there. I will also be actually exploring and USING the two apps I have to help with this - a home inventory one and a closet one I have found very helpful in putting together outfits for the day when I am too fatigued to stand and look at my closet options.

I appreciate and congratulate you on reading this far. ☺️ I know I can get a bit long-winded when analyzing and planing like this. However, I thought perhaps my own experiences here might resonate with others in some way, and it also provides me personally with a written plan and some accountability to myself. (Very important for me in this area, I have learned.) I take screenshots of plans like this after they are posted, then paste the screenshot images into a word processing document, print it out, highlight the steps and/or issues, and hang it where I can see it with a pen nearby to cross out each item or make notes alongside them as needed. Works pretty well for me most of the time. ☺️

I would like to thank you both for sharing this interview. The items in my train of thought that I listed were all known to me already, but hearing your conversation helped me tie them together in a new and impactful way. Things are making far more sense to me now. I also see how hidden perspectives can affect outward behaviors.

My husband is out of town for work this week, so my modest goal is to have the hanging clothes sorted and the bulk of the paper and obvious clutter/junk out of the bedroom before he gets back. It won't be complete, but that's okay. I give myself permission to do my best, which may vary from minute to minute. In the end though, as the FlyLady says, "Progress, not perfection." As long as I keep making progress, that is enough. And I am looking forward to this journey, now with more frequent rest stops (bite-sized tasks) built in. It was a bit overwhelming before. Thank you again for your gift of this interview. It has really meant a lot to me, realizing all of this and more. I see the light in you both. 🤲🏼❤️🤲🏼