Guided Forgiveness Meditation

Guide To Forgiveness - by Bhante Vimalaramsi

"An effective method to dissolve blocks to Loving-Kindness and living in the present. There is no question that forgiveness meditation is part of Loving-Kindness Meditation development."

For anyone who has difficulty in feeling loving-kindness, this can be a first step. It creates a firm bridge between heart and mind that is then used to help all other kinds of meditation succeed. It is a cleansing for the heart.

We start with wishing ourselves Forgiveness and stay with that wish until something negative arises. Then, we forgive that and release and relax and it fades away. Then back to ourselves by making a wish "I forgive myself for not understanding /I forgive myself for any pain I have ever caused myself or others.

If people pop up that need our forgiveness we wish them forgiveness. As they fade away we then go back to forgiving ourselves. And back and forth as needed. Don't look for things to forgive - accept whatever arises.

Transcript

These are the brief forgiveness instructions as taught by Bhante Vimalaramsi,

Based on the book,

Guide to Forgiveness Meditation.

Forgiveness meditation is truly an act of compassion and generosity toward yourself and others.

It is an act of kindness.

So let's set aside a minimum of 30 minutes each time you practice,

And please don't move during that time.

So let's find a comfortable sitting position and promise yourself you won't change your posture during this time.

Enter into a sense of quiet,

Of being right here,

Right now.

Now this is a forgiveness meditation.

Let's begin by repeating the phrase,

I forgive myself for not understanding.

Put a sincere wish for forgiveness in your heart and stay with that intention.

I forgive myself for not understanding.

For not understanding what?

Whatever comes up,

Whatever has disturbed you.

Whatever arises,

I forgive it all.

Gently smile as you do this.

Just put a little Buddha smile on your face.

This will keep your mind light and it will let you know when unwholesome states have arisen.

I forgive myself for not understanding.

Sincerely wish forgiveness to yourself.

The intention to forgive yourself is your object of meditation.

In this phrase,

Not understanding,

It means that in the past you acted negatively in some situation before you knew what was really going on.

Maybe you got angry or someone else caused you pain and they didn't understand this either.

You reacted and then afterward you felt sorry.

Maybe you've all acted without understanding at some time in life and this created guilt and remorse in our lives.

It is essential that the phrase sinks in.

You give it time to work and not change it before it has had a chance to bring up a situation in your mind or someone from a past event.

If nothing comes up with this phrase,

You could try another one like,

I forgive myself for causing myself and others pain.

Now don't use phrases that put yourself down.

Negative phrases don't work.

You're removing any trapped negativity bit by bit with this practice.

I forgive myself for causing myself and others pain.

Let's contemplate that for a minute.

Now when any hard feeling or painful experience comes up in your mind after saying the phrase,

You forgive that.

Relax,

Smile and keep going.

For example,

You might have a thought of something like,

I don't deserve to be happy or I don't like myself because whatever.

If a thought like that tries to stop your intention to forgive,

You immediately forgive yourself and soften into that thought.

Forgive yourself for having those hard thoughts.

You deserve to be happy.

Please don't put yourself down.

You're sitting here trying to change and that's a good thing.

And you deserve forgiveness for everything from the past.

You deserve to be forgiven.

It's okay.

I forgive myself for causing myself and others pain.

I forgive myself for not understanding.

Keep this intention of forgiveness going and if something arises,

Forgive it.

I forgive you for arising.

Soften into it,

Relax any tension and tightness and back to a smile.

Forgive yourself again.

Be sincere and keep up your intention to forgive.

Let it flow with everything that arises.

Forgive any stories and hard feelings that come up.

Forgive anything that arises that tries to stop your intention to forgive.

Your objective is to keep your forgiveness going until you feel there is nothing more to forgive.

But this will take some time.

Don't push it.

Don't think there's nothing that will come up.

Just be patient and bring that intention to forgive back to your meditation.

Now this is where we use some simple steps to let go of anything that tries to stop the act of forgiveness.

We call these steps the six Rs.

They go like this.

Recognize any thought that tries to stop your intention to forgive.

Release mind's attention to that thought.

Just stop thinking about it.

Take your foot off the gas.

Don't give it any more attention or energy.

It'll start to stop on its own.

Now relax any tightness pulling you to think about this thought and especially any tightnesses in your head.

This is where they exist.

The craving exists in your head in the thoughts themselves.

Relax these tightnesses and tensions.

Soften into them.

Then re-smile and put that little Buddha smile back on your lips.

Then return to your intention to forgive yourself.

Keep forgiving and going as long as you can.

If any distraction tries to stop you again,

Repeat these six Rs.

Recognize there it's come up.

Release,

Relax,

Re-smile,

Return to forgiveness.

And repeat if you get off track again.

Now as you continue forgiving yourself,

Memories of past events will come up with someone other than yourself who needs your forgiveness.

Your intention should shift now to forgive someone else.

You repeat the same phrase you used for yourself directly to them.

I forgive you for not understanding.

You might not even know what it is,

But just forgive them for not understanding.

People will come up,

Forgive them,

Work with them for a little while,

Switch your attention to them.

As you do this,

Don't get involved in any story about what happened.

In your mind,

Just look them in the eye and forgive them.

Stay with them for a while and let the wish for forgiveness take hold.

This time,

If you get distracted,

You know what to do.

Six R.

Recognize,

Release,

Relax,

Re-smile,

Return and repeat.

Keep working with the same phrase you used for yourself until that phrase has no more energy.

Only then change your phrase and begin again.

Your phrases might be about forgiving yourself for holding grudges or for holding bad thoughts about someone.

Just keep your thoughts aimed at positive change.

I forgive myself for not understanding.

I forgive you for not understanding.

While forgiving,

You might have a thought that comes up like,

I am just not going to forgive this person because they are just plain mean.

It just isn't going to happen.

You just can't forgive them.

Six R.

Recognize,

Release,

Relax,

Re-smile,

Return and repeat.

Keep working with your objective.

Soften and release into that thought.

Relax and re-smile as you return to forgiving.

Of course,

You are going to forgive them.

You will forgive everyone,

Including yourself.

Don't fall,

This is just fine.

Tears take pressure off your heart and mind.

It's a good thing.

So don't be tough on yourself.

Just let those tears come.

Get some tissues.

Get a towel.

Let them flow.

Let them out.

Don't keep them bottled up.

Your objective is to keep your forgiveness going and completely forgive yourself and others.

Then the attachment to those memories will just fade away.

You'll still remember them,

But it won't be loaded with all this negative energy.

It's not unusual in this meditation for the person you are working with to smile back at you and forgive you as well.

This is the potential for the third part of this practice.

Some wonderful relief can arise when this naturally happens.

And that can mean that you're done with that person.

But be very careful that you don't ask them to forgive you because this is all about pure compassion and generosity.

Your job is just to provide the right conditions for you to receive and accept forgiveness from them when they're ready.

And this can really happen.

If we ask for forgiveness,

It means we're trying to control the outcome.

So let this go.

When they will forgive you,

They will forgive you.

And let it happen when it happens.

If that person comes back again in another session later,

That's okay.

You treat them the same way again.

By this time,

The forgiveness will go faster and more easily.

Gradually,

They won't come up anymore.

Now that person is gone.

So you go back and quietly say the same phrase again and forgive yourself until you see someone else coming up and you forgive them in the same way.

I forgive myself for not understanding.

I forgive you for not understanding.

I forgive myself for having caused pain and suffering to another person.

I forgive you for having caused me pain and suffering.

So continue with this intention to forgive.

Continue and forgive things as they come up.

Now as the sitting draws to a close,

What is useful is to go and do some walking forgiveness meditation.

When you stop sitting,

You can take a walk.

And in your mind as you walk,

Keep on saying,

I forgive you and you forgive me.

Kind of do this in a cadence as you walk.

This process keeps drumming into your brain that you want to stop holding on to past painful memories.

You'd like them to come up so you can forgive them.

You want to be kinder and forgiving of everything in the future.

So walk and forgive.

Make it a nice gentle stroll.

Don't look around.

Just stay with this object of meditation to forget.

When a phrase goes dry,

It's done.

You choose a different phrase and start again.

In the beginning,

It might take a little time for your brain to get used to it.

In the beginning,

It might take a little time for your brain to trust that you really want to do all this.

There can be periods of resistance where nothing comes up in the beginning.

Be patient and continue on.

It'll take more than a sitting.

It might take more than a week.

We don't know how long it'll take.

Now,

When you're not sitting or walking,

You make a commitment to forgive whatever is going on in your life.

Bring forgiveness into your workplace.

Take it into your home.

Practice it with your friends.

If they say something that disturbs you,

Forgive them right there.

Don't get defensive.

Simply hear how they say it and hear your reaction and soften.

Recognize,

Release,

Relax,

Resmile,

Return to forgiving.

Make it a habit to forgive and to soften.

In this way,

You continue letting go of all of this pain and you finally become free from the heaviness of the past.

Thank you for listening.

Reviews

This has become my go-to.
I sincerely thank you for your service and contributions. Namaste 🙏

I cry like three times. I think it was necessary. I really like this meditation. I did not suffer.

Can't stop crying. I must have lot to forgive myself but little things. I learnt a lot with this meditation. Hard work ahead but worthwhile

Amazing. Really helps me in my quest to be kinder, more loving and more compassionate with self. Thank you. 🙏

I could feel my body relaxed and release the negativity it was holding. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you, sometimes I forget to forgive myself for not understanding but, forgiveness is something I want to always give to others. I like the feeling of forgiving myself and smiling. It has a feeling of acceptance and self love doing it.

loved this so much. cleared so much held energy in my body and heart space.

Thank you, such a beautiful and helpful guidance 🙏❤️

This felt very real, very fresh for me.....not a rehash but a living meditation, thankyou, I loved it.

Great, just love it, thanks a lot!

Very good and gentle guiding to the forgiveness meditation. Highly recommending this especially if you are doing a forgiveness online retreat. This really seems to help in finding the compassion for yourself and others. I suppose this could be said to be an important part of the mettā/loving kindness meditation.

Much metta to you

In part a guided meditation in itself, but more as a guide after listening to use in one's own practice. Also as "mini-talk" on a specific subject - forgiveness, with a way to process what it is to be human. Quite useful.

This was very liberating. A beautiful, calming, clear experience. Thankyou for sharing this with not only myself , but others, so they may gain inner peace and let go of what binds them/myself

Namaste

Really great instructor and a powerful meditation. Thank you so much! Ommmm and Love

🙏🏼I totally love , forgive and accept myself.. I totally love, forgive and accept others . Namaste 🙏🏼 thank you for this 💓

Very helpful. I may do this consistently.

Thank you ,a first step 🙏🏼

🙏👼🏼🙏👼🙏👼🏻🙏👼🏽🙏💋❤😘✨👑

Amazing and life changing. Thank you