Hi there,
This is Devon.
This meditation is about cultivating metta for those we find difficult in our lives.
Admittedly,
This is challenging.
That's why it's traditional to work up to this by first cultivating kindness for ourselves,
Our benefactors,
Our friends,
And strangers.
Some people spend years focusing on these easier categories before they dive into kindness for difficult people.
For me,
I found it important to remember that I can love those people even if I don't like them.
And I like to start with the easier categories first so that I have a strong foundation of care before I dive into metta for difficult people.
Remember that your intentions for kindness matter more than anything else,
So trust your good heart as we begin this practice.
So let's start with a comfortable posture.
It's especially important to support the body here,
So check in and see if your body wants to move or adjust to be more comfortable.
You might even bring a hand to the heart or the belly,
Just feeling the soothing,
Regulating touch of your palm on your body.
Now spend some time with your intention for practice.
We can form a clear motivation,
Something personal,
Like I'm going to do this practice so that I can keep learning to trust the goodness of my own heart even with those people I find difficult.
Or something like,
I'm training in patience and trust,
Knowing that my desire for happiness is shared by all beings.
Take a few deeper breaths and feel your body relaxing into the present moment.
As you exhale,
Let go of any tension or stress you might be holding in your body or your mind.
And now let your breath return to its natural rhythm.
Each time you exhale,
Let go of the need to do anything at all and settle into just being.
There's nothing to change or improve.
Appreciate this moment.
The main point of this practice is to see that we all share a wholesome desire to be happy,
Peaceful,
And healthy.
And we all want to avoid suffering and difficulty.
Here,
We're going to practice recognizing this in even the difficult people in our lives.
First,
Let's do some kindness practice that's easy.
Traditionally,
We start with kindness for ourselves,
But if that's difficult for you,
You can substitute a place in nature or a beloved animal or a friend.
It should be natural and easy,
Sparking feelings of kindness and care.
Hold an image of yourself or your friend or another being in your mind's eye,
Maybe keeping your hand on your heart or your tummy.
Recognize your innate desire to be happy,
Despite all the ups and downs of being human.
Spend some time sending yourself or your friend,
Your benefactor,
Your easy person,
Sending the kindness phrases now.
May I be happy and peaceful.
May I be safe and protected from harm.
May I be healthy and strong.
May I awaken and be free.
Remember that your kind intentions are what matter.
When you're ready,
You can bring to mind a benefactor or a mentor,
A pet or a place that represents generosity and kindness for you.
Feeling the presence of your benefactor here with you now,
And then spend some time sending them the metaphrases.
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you be safe and protected from harm.
May you be healthy and strong in body and mind,
And may you awaken and be free.
Trust the goodness of your own heart.
Trust your kind wishes.
On your own timing,
Invoke the image and the felt sense of a good friend,
Someone who's easy to love.
Ideally,
This is a relationship that's relatively simple,
Just based in friendship,
And then use the phrases to send them kindness also.
My friend,
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you be safe and protected from harm.
May you be healthy and strong.
May you awaken and be free.
And now,
Bring to mind a stranger,
Someone you see regularly but don't know very well or feel one way or another about.
Send this neutral person your kindness,
Staying connected to your bodily sensations as well as any heart or mind states that might be arising.
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you be safe and protected from harm.
May you be healthy and strong.
And may you awaken and be free.
Feel free to stay with any of these prior categories if you'd like.
Otherwise,
Let's touch in on Metta for a difficult person.
In this practice,
It's skillful not to think of your most difficult person.
Maybe it's just someone who sometimes gets on your nerves or irritates you a little bit.
Notice who comes to mind and take your time feeling your body,
Your heart,
As you choose this one particular difficult person.
And now,
Holding this person in your mind's eye,
Feel their presence here with you in this moment.
Stay in your body.
Consider their wish to be happy and free.
See if you can connect with a common humanity that you both share.
Of course,
This person may be misguided in how to actually reach true happiness and peace.
We might not agree with their choices.
But remember,
This is about learning to love them,
Even if we don't always like them.
And now,
Gently sending them the kindness phrases,
Staying connected to your heart and your mind.
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you be safe and protected from harm.
May you be healthy and strong.
May you awaken and be free.
Notice your bodily sensations.
If you're filled with aversion,
That is okay.
It's all part of the practice.
Trust the strength of your metta.
Remember your good intentions and continue with the phrases.
Of course,
It's okay to take a break every now and then.
Return to your body's touch points or simply choose an easier person if you'd like.
Keep sending the phrases,
Recognizing your common wish to be happy and free from suffering.
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you be safe and protected from harm.
May you be healthy and strong in body and mind.
May you awaken and be free.
As you continue your practice,
You can see your chosen difficult person really receiving your care.
If they truly felt loved and safe and protected,
Maybe they would make better choices.
Keep trusting the power of your practice.
Whenever you get distracted,
Simply come back to your body and your intentions to cultivate kindness for even this difficult person.
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you be safe and protected from harm.
May you be healthy and strong.
And may you awaken and be free.
Okay,
Now take a few deeper breaths.
Give yourself time to transition out of the practice at the pace of awareness.
Take a minute to look around you,
Noticing color and texture and light in your environment.
Give yourself credit for engaging this profound practice today.
Obviously,
This meditation can be challenging.
Allow time and patience for your natural Metta to develop.
I've noticed over the years that while I don't always feel immediate kindness for difficult people,
Metta allows more space for me to feel all my feelings without denying the humanity in myself or in others.
And knowing that difficult people need kindness just as much as anybody helps keep them in my heart even if I don't agree with their actions.
Be very gentle with yourself today and remember to keep touching into your heartfelt intentions for cultivating Metta.
Thank you for your brave and courageous meditation and I'll see you next time.
