Balancing Being & Doing

This meditation will help you stay emotionally centered and present as you let go of the need to constantly be 'doing'. This is a calming practice that will fill you with gratitude as well as ease any anxiety you feel about your day. Lou will discuss his own struggles with the topic, and then guide you into a relaxed state so that you can bring more mindful awareness into all aspects of your life. (This was recorded live.)

Transcript

It might surprise you that as a meditation teacher,

I can have a really hard time just being.

Especially if that being takes place between Monday and Friday and during a typical work hours.

I feel like I have this constant twinge to feel like I should be producing or else I'm missing out or falling behind in some way.

I had a really visceral experience of this recently.

Me and my partner,

Kelly,

We went on a little trip.

We borrowed a friend's converted Mercedes van,

Like those van life vans.

Our intention was to go and work,

Just do what we would normally do,

But work out of the van and just go and be in a nicer place than inner city,

North Jersey,

But to be in a nicer place than nothing,

New Jersey.

We get there and we really didn't want to take a vacation.

That wasn't our intention,

But we get there and our hotspot doesn't really work.

The internet didn't get the connection that we were hoping for.

A lot of the work that we were intending to do,

We couldn't do.

We were forced to just be and to just allow it to happen.

It was great and we enjoyed our time.

But it was when I was driving home that I felt this wave of anxiety of what I didn't do or the feeling that I missed out or that I didn't get ahead in some way.

I had this serious FOMO and I am super blessed that I have a life that I can do this and I can be flexible and I can go off.

If I don't work,

Then the world doesn't collapse.

However,

If I've created this,

Then if I can't even enjoy that time off fully,

Then what's the point?

I've been really working on understanding what is that balance between being and doing.

I'll share a quote from Maria Popova who runs a beautiful blog called Brain Pickings.

She says,

Presence is far more intricate and rewarding of an art than productivity.

I think this is so true.

However,

In a Western culture,

In an American culture,

In a New York City culture,

Productivity is put on a pedestal.

We are esteemed for what we do.

We talk to people and it's about what do you do and it's how we show up in the world.

This is conditioned from a young age when we're growing up and kids.

It's like doing more to get more,

Doing more extracurriculars,

Doing,

Doing,

Doing,

Doing.

We're not really taught the art of just being.

Not only that,

I know for me,

There's a lot of self-worth that I attach to what I get done in the world.

It's like the value that I put out of it.

It's where I get some identity and get some value.

If there's no producing,

If there's no value to society,

Then it's almost like,

Who am I?

It's tougher to just feel worthy,

Just taking up space in the world.

Which reminds me of Glennon Doyle's book Untamed.

She has a little story where Abby,

Her partner,

She's sitting on the couch.

It's like a Wednesday at 2 p.

M.

And she's watching a zombie movie and Glennon's trying to clean up the house.

She's internally scathing at her.

How can she just be okay and feel worthy to just take up space in the middle of a day on a Wednesday and watch zombie movies?

Maybe that's the goal.

It's finding balance.

That's what we're going to work to do and also understand that when we do take rest,

That productivity is not linear.

By taking some moments for us to just be,

We actually may make different connections.

We may be more creative and we may end up being more productive in whatever way that might mean for you right now in your life.

We'll go ahead and start to get into our practice and go ahead and start to close down your eyes and begin to allow your body to ground down,

Starting to feel the support of your chair,

Couch,

Your bed,

Allowing the weight of your thighs to get heavy,

Relaxing your shoulders,

Relaxing your lower jaw from your upper jaw,

And inviting softness through your forehead,

Through the muscles and the eyelids,

And allowing that softness to melt down the body and offering comfort,

Offering ease,

And allowing yourself to begin to come into stillness.

As we stay grounded,

Still finding a gentle lift of your upper chest just to keep us moving our energy in both ways,

Just to keep us alert,

Feeling a lengthening of the back of your neck as the crown of your head just gently lengthens up towards the ceiling.

As you start to bring in some awareness to your breath,

Feeling the gentle rise and fall of the body with each inhale and exhale,

You're going to begin to just appreciate your body for being.

Just as if you're giving yourself permission right now to let go of all the mind chatter,

Allowing your body to come into a state of being.

We're going to continue to use our breath to balance the energy centers,

To balance our chakra centers.

Imagining as you breathe in that the energy starts from the crown of your head and moves down to the base of your spine.

As you breathe out,

You feel the energy move from the base of your spine up through the top crown of your head.

If you have done any yoga,

It's kind of like a cow and cat breath,

But we're not really moving the spine and moving the body like you would in that asana.

On your inhale again,

Feeling the energy move from crown to the base of your spine.

And then on your exhale,

Feeling it move from the base up to the crown of your head.

And we'll stay here for a few more moments.

And then together,

Let's take a full and conscious breath in and breath out.

One of the fastest ways to move us into a state of being is through gratitude.

And so we're going to do a practice to find gratitude for the parts of our body that feel good.

And I'll do a little context as to what I mean.

Thich Nhat Hanh has a saying,

When we have a toothache,

We know that not having a toothache is a wonderful thing.

But when we don't have a toothache,

We don't really think of the unhappiness that is not present.

And so doing a little body scan and just noticing parts of your body that maybe at time,

Or at a time,

We're giving you some sort of tension or pain.

Maybe you remember a headache that you had that you don't have right now.

Maybe you notice the clearness in your lungs or your nose.

Or a time where you were stuffed up or sick.

And maybe you reflect on an arm or a limb that you had injured or broke and just feeling the peace and the ease of how it feels right now.

So again,

Finding gratitude for a part of your body that's feeling good that you remember what it was like when it wasn't feeling so good.

And I should note if you are feeling some pain right now,

Just honoring that and honoring yourself for being here and caring for yourself.

Maybe just feeling thanks for the peace and the ability to sit and to meditate and to connect with yourself.

And then together,

Let's take a full conscious breath in and breath out.

We're now going to do a little bit of a visualization.

So I'd like you to bring your awareness into your mind's eye.

And imagine that you are sitting on a park bench.

Whatever park comes to mind,

It could be one you've been to,

It could be one you're making up.

And I'd like you to imagine that it's the middle of a day in the middle of the week.

Maybe it's a Wednesday.

And you're just sitting there just being,

Just watching the trees,

Watching people walk by.

And now if this was a workday for you,

Would you be able to be here fully?

So would it be challenging?

Would there be anxiety,

Whether your work is kids or school related,

Or whether your work is a intense job?

Would you be able to just sit and relax midday on a Wednesday?

And start to notice people walking by and you see that they're just in full doing mode,

Going from A to B.

And as you see them walking by,

Asking what is it that you wish for them?

If you can send them thoughts,

Feelings energetically,

And what would you send them?

It's probably something like a loving kindness,

Like may you be happy,

May you be loved,

May you be at peace.

So sending any thoughts,

Any things,

Any feelings towards these people that are walking by.

Just energetically just being a beacon of light,

Whether they realize you are or not.

And so you notice that you probably initially when I asked that,

Didn't think to wish these people to be super productive and get everything on their to-do list done.

It's probably not the first thing that comes to mind.

It might be.

And so we realize when we think about what we really wish for others,

It's more these states of being.

And so that's just a thing to realize in thinking about how do we wish that for ourselves?

We don't have to do to be happy necessarily.

And so allow yourself for another few moments to enjoy this scene.

See the sun.

Maybe you feel its warmth.

You sense the wind at your face.

Bristling of the leaves on the trees.

Just feeling the peace of just sitting and being.

And then on the right,

Sitting on your bench or landing on your bench,

I like it to look down and you see a little notepad with a pen.

I'd like you to grab that notepad and hold it in front of you.

And on this first page,

I'd like you to write down your to-do list.

Maybe that's for tomorrow.

Maybe it's for this week,

This month,

This year.

It could be everyday to-dos,

Getting groceries.

And so just thinking of anything you have on your agenda,

Imagine yourself just writing it down out on this pad.

And as you're doing this,

Noticing if there's any anxiety coming up.

And if there is,

I'd like you to imagine that anxiety move outside of your body in front of you.

And just recognizing that anxiety just wants us to be safe and wants us to get everything done so we are upstanding individuals.

It just is looking out for us,

Even though it doesn't always have the best way to show it.

And so just thanking that anxiety for its intentions.

And then as you breathe,

Imagining it kind of floating away with the wind.

And then again,

Recognizing this to-do list.

And I'd like you to visualize yourself mindfully getting all of this stuff done with peace,

With ease,

With presence.

And maybe even feeling gratitude for the ability to do these things,

To have these chores or whatever it might be for you.

You get to do it.

You don't have to.

And then letting that go and together we'll take a full breath in and a full breath out.

And so sometimes we think we have to get things done and if we don't,

Then we're falling behind.

And so just reflecting,

What would happen if you didn't get any of it done?

Would you still be okay?

Probably would.

As Maria Popova says,

Presence is far more intricate and rewarding of an art than productivity.

It's okay to take a break.

And so just repeating these words to yourself silently or out loud to see if we can embody this.

I don't have to do things to feel worthy.

The peace of this moment is enough.

Each breath is a gift.

I don't have to do things to feel worthy.

The peace of this moment is enough.

Each breath is a gift.

Maybe repeating one or something else that is supportive for you right now.

Presence is far more intricate and rewarding of an art than productivity.

Gentle breath in with me.

And breath out.

So we have just one last part here in our visualization.

I'd like you to turn the page into a blank page.

And we all have lots of experience creating to-do lists,

But how often do we create a to-be list?

And so on this page,

I'd like you to think of all the ways that you'd like to be tomorrow,

This month,

The rest of the year.

And write them down almost as intentions.

You could say,

Be happy,

Be kind to myself,

Be fulfilled,

Be aligned,

Be open,

Curious.

Whatever it might be,

No pun intended.

What would your to-be list look like?

And as you write down these words,

I'd like you to feel the energy that is within them.

Feeling a move through your body and almost as if you're sending it out into the world,

Into the universe.

Adding these intentions to be a new way or a fuller,

More fulfilled way in this world.

And just noticing if the difference in having to-do and to-be list,

If the to-be list feels a little less pressured or a little more expansive.

And then go ahead and I'd like you to rip both of those pieces of paper out of the notepad,

Fold it up,

Put it in your pocket as a reminder to take with you.

And then releasing any guided imagery,

Releasing the park and starting to come back into your body here in the room that you're in.

Once again,

Feeling the rise and the fall of your breath.

And let's just give one last minute to sit and to be and to practice the art of presence.

In the morning,

This contrasts.

And then when you feel complete,

There's no rush.

You're welcome to stay here until as long as you'd like.

If you'd like to come back,

Go ahead and gently open your eyes and come back to your room.

Alright everyone,

I do encourage you to think about making a to-be list,

Sending you all much love.

Namaste.

Reviews

This was wonderful! I found the talk in the beginning a nice way to move into the meditation. The visualization was lovely as well.

Unbelievably helpful!! Thank you so much for this, I left my to do list at the park 😉 but brought my to be list with me!

Loved your guidance. Will add this to my favourites. Thank you.

This was brilliant, thank you. I'm definitely going to write down a to be list! Namaste.

Wonderful guide into truly letting go.
Thank you

Wonderful - this is something I struggle with, so I truly appreciated this practice.

What a wonderful meditation! It’s very helpful and brought a smile to my soul. Thank you! 🙏🏽💝

Exactly what I needed to become re-grounded, and re-centered after a very stressful weekend. I feel I was equipped with tools to help me to stay calm, and to prioritize what truly matters this week without worrying about productivity. Thank you! I always enjoy your meditations.

Thank you 🙏🏻🌼

I liked the balance between storytelling and meditation. Your voice is calm and soothing. Thank you for your time creating this!

To be strengthened, fortified, and free. What an insight. Thank you, Lou.

Really lovely and helpful - I appreciate the guidance into a supportive experience of being and leave this meditation feeling more balanced and at ease. Thank you, Lou. Definitely worth a bookmark! Namaste.

And again, exactly what I needed! <3

During this time of COVID-19 and lockdown, this message is needed to calm the global anxieties, frustration, and anger. My personal journey with coming to terms with my self worth, lack of productivity and purpose began 4 years ago when alone, I suffered and survived a health crisis (aortic dissection) that rendered me unfit and unable to return to work and challenged to complete many activities of daily living. I had a little savings and it was eaten up in the first year as I had to cope with physical limitations and recovery to a new level of 'normal'.
How grateful I am that the day before my aorta split apart, I had serendipitously installed Insight Timer on my phone. Learning, through meditation and breathing exercises, and experiencing and sharing with guides like Lou, helped me to realize that my value was not dependent on punching a time clock each morning. As I learned to allow gratitude to permeate my being, I began to find new purpose in my life, starting with my health and regaining strength as "my job". Forced to slow down and accept "Being Groovy" has turned out to be one of the greatest gifts of my life.
Namaste