Welcome to this internal family systems meditation on how to cope with chronic pain or illness.
As someone with long-term musculoskeletal problems,
I know something about living with chronic pain and how tiring and exasperating that can be.
If you live with chronic pain or any kind of long-term health condition,
You understand only too well how frustrating and exhausting it can be.
Struggling with pain or illness day after day just grinds you down,
Leaving you low on resources and energy.
Problems like this can also profoundly affect your mood,
Leaving you low or even depressed,
Because the cumulative impact of physical pain or unpleasant symptoms like that is just so hard.
Again,
I really get that from the inside,
Having lived with problems like this for many years.
So before we begin,
Just allow yourself to embrace the day-to-day hardship and suffering of whatever you may be dealing with.
You're human and this is hard.
That's your lived reality,
Whatever the nature of your illness or bodily challenges.
It's also important to note that in IFS,
We see parts often having a role in both pain throughout the body and various illnesses,
Especially autoimmune conditions and other problems that may not have a clear medical,
Biological origin.
Although this is a key idea in IFS,
This meditation focuses on the impact of pain and illness on your parts,
Which is often significant.
Now let's move into our practice.
As with all my meditations,
We begin by placing your feet flat on the floor and feeling your connection to the earth.
If it's okay for you,
Sit in an upright but relaxed posture,
But please do modify your posture in any way you need,
So get as physically comfortable as possible.
If that means sitting on a cushion,
Lying on a yoga mat or bed,
Lying on your back or side,
Propping yourself up with cushions,
Do whatever feels right for you and your body in this moment.
If you are sitting upright,
Gently roll your shoulders back and let them drop.
If you're in any other position,
Let your shoulders relax and your chest be as open and expansive as possible.
You can close your eyes or keep them open,
Softening and lowering your gaze.
Take some deep,
Slow breaths,
In through your nose and out through your mouth.
You can try counting to four on the in-breath and four on the out-breath.
Keep breathing deeply.
As you're breathing,
Let your belly rise and fall with each breath cycle.
Notice how it naturally expands on the in-breath and falls away,
Softening and deflating on the exhale.
Keep breathing deeply for a minute.
As you start to notice your mind and body slow down,
Even a tiny bit,
Mindfully scan your body and see if you can notice places that feel tight,
Hard,
Tense or braced.
Pay particular attention to your face and jaw,
Throat,
Neck and shoulders,
Upper back,
Lower back,
Chest and belly.
These are the places we often carry stress and tension in the body,
So as you breathe in,
Imagine that each breath is a warm,
Soft,
Kind and compassionate breath,
And feel that breath travelling in through your nose,
Down your windpipe and into the place of tightness or tension in your body.
Just stay with that for 30 seconds.
Now let's connect with the part of you who's suffering right now.
If you've been dealing with pain or illness for some time,
There'll be parts feeling upset about that.
Perhaps they're anxious,
Stressed,
Agitated,
Frustrated or angry about it,
Which is completely understandable.
A part of you might be feeling sad,
Hopeless,
Numb or depressed,
Which also makes total sense.
Whatever the predominant feeling inside might be right now,
Just focus on that and let yourself feel it for a few seconds.
If you're sad,
Be sad.
If you're feeling anxious,
Be anxious.
It's okay.
Whatever you're feeling,
Just turn towards it and let yourself feel it.
In IFS,
We understand these feelings to be communications from inner parts.
As you speak to this upset part of you,
Notice how they're showing up.
Do you see an image,
Perhaps of yourself as a child or adult?
Is it just a voice in your head?
Or is there no voice and you just see abstract images or sense the part in some other way?
There is no right or wrong here,
Just see who or what shows up.
And remember you can pause this practice at any point if you'd like a bit more time to speak to the part who is suffering.
As you experience the painful emotion,
Let the part who's feeling that way know you feel them.
You can speak to them inside with your thoughts using your own words.
Let them know it totally makes sense that they're feeling this way because life is so hard right now.
Also let them feel your presence,
Saying things like,
I'm here,
I'm really curious about you,
I very much want to help.
Then ask them why they're feeling this way and patiently wait for an answer.
This may be in the form of words,
Emotions,
Body sensations,
Images or memories.
Just wait and let them respond in any way they choose.
When they have responded,
Ask follow-up questions like,
How long have they felt this way?
What's the worst thing about these symptoms you're feeling for them?
That may just be the physical discomfort,
The way it restricts your life or perhaps judgments others might hold about you.
At this point,
Let's speak to a common difficulty in parts work.
First check in your heart and see how you're feeling towards this upset part right now.
If you're feeling anything other than compassion,
Tenderness,
Sympathy or at least curiosity,
Another part might have come in to disconnect you or numb you out.
That's totally normal and not a problem at all.
Just let this new part know you see and feel them,
Then ask if they'd be willing to make a little space,
Just for a few minutes,
So you can help this upset part.
That's usually enough to help you reconnect with the original part.
If so,
Again check in with your heart and if you're feeling anything positive towards the upset part,
Let them feel that and tell them in words like,
I feel so much compassion for you,
I'm truly sorry you've suffered so much,
Or my heart's full of sadness for you right now,
It's so hard to be you,
Isn't it?
When you feel a bit more connected,
Ask this part what they need from you right now.
That might be a hug,
To keep talking,
A commitment to keep checking in over the coming days,
Or perhaps to see your physician or some other healer to help with your pain or illness.
It might even be making some lifestyle changes like drinking less,
Eating more healthily or moving your body more if that's possible.
Again,
Feel free to pause the practice at this point and spend as much time as they need hanging out,
Talking or hugging.
Then say a big thank you to this part for showing up and sharing so much with you.
Recommit to doing whatever they need,
Give them one last hug or send them a little wave of love if that feels natural right now.
Then do whatever you need to make that feel complete and then come on back and open your eyes.
How are you doing?
I hope that was helpful for you and you have at least some sense of the part who may be hurting right now as you go through this challenging time and what that part might need.
If you did make a commitment to check in with them,
Please do that.
It's important to keep our promises to parts or they get upset and lose trust in us.
Thank you for meditating with me today,
My friend.
And if you are struggling right now for any reason,
Sending you so much love and strength from my heart to yours.
Take good care of yourself and I hope you have a better day.
