Welcome to this internal family systems meditation,
Easing your depression.
This practice is for anyone who's having a rough day,
Especially if you're feeling depressed.
Although depression varies in terms of severity,
Wherever you are on that scale you may well be feeling low energy,
As if even the smallest task feels daunting.
You might feel quite stuck and procrastinating a lot,
Struggling to get things done.
Your body may feel heavy and your posture be a bit slumpy,
As if it's an effort to stay upright.
Your thoughts may well skew negative,
Focusing on everything that's apparently wrong with you in your life.
You may just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head.
When we're depressed we tend to ruminate a lot,
Which means chewing over and over our imagined failings,
Things we said or did in the past we regret,
Why we're supposedly a bad person or dislikable in some way.
This rumination is probably highly self-critical,
Which in IFS language means your inner critic is loud,
Berating you for every imagined weakness and character flaw.
I spent many years of my life struggling with depression,
So I know only too well how horrible it can be.
If you are suffering right now,
My heart goes out to you,
As I've been there and I know painfully well how exhausting and gruelling it can be.
But I also know that we can overcome depression with kind,
Loving support and guidance,
As I've made those changes in myself and no longer get depressed.
So that's what I would like to offer you today.
Let's move into our practice.
Start by finding a comfortable sitting posture,
With your feet flat and grounded on the floor,
Your neck and spine in alignment so they're straight but not stiff.
Gently roll your shoulders back so you feel your chest open up.
Close your eyes,
If that feels okay for you,
Or soften and lower your gaze.
Then let's do some compassionate breathing,
Taking long,
Slow breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Try counting to four seconds on the in-breath and four on the out-breath.
Keep breathing.
As you breathe,
Let your belly inflate on the in-breath and deflate as you exhale.
Try placing a hand on your belly,
And seeing if you can make it rise and fall with each cycle of breath.
Keep breathing for one minute.
Now move your hand and gently place it over your heart.
Imagine you're offering the supportive touch to a friend who's struggling right now.
Make your touch gentle and reassuring,
Because you are supporting someone who's struggling,
And that's you.
Keep breathing for another 30 seconds,
Focusing on the warmth from your hand trickling down into your heart.
Now see if you can find the thoughts,
Feelings or somatic sensations associated with depression in your head or body.
You may just feel numb,
Which is okay.
Just focus on the numbness,
However it shows up for you.
But you may notice looping,
Painful thoughts behind your forehead.
There might be a pain in your heart.
You may start to notice that your muscles are tight and tense,
Perhaps in your neck,
Shoulders and upper back.
Anxiety and depression often go together,
So you may also notice some nervousness or even fear,
Perhaps in your gut.
Whatever you notice inside,
Focus on those uncomfortable thoughts,
Emotions or physical sensations,
Just for a few seconds.
When we're struggling,
This is how our parts communicate with us,
So let yourself tune into those communications.
Start by sending some warm,
Friendly breaths into that place in your body or mind.
Stay with that for a few seconds.
Then let that part know you feel it,
Just by thinking the message inside.
Tell them you know they're struggling and that you're right there with them.
Really let them feel you by saying simple things like,
I'm here.
I'm with you.
I'm curious about you and really want to help.
One of the mistakes we often make is to try and connect with our parts to get rid of them or the painful feelings they bring.
So instead of trying to get rid of the depression,
All we're doing right now is being with the part.
No pushing,
Forcing or rushing.
Just patiently being with.
The paradoxical thing is that when parts really feel our presence,
Our love,
Warmth,
Interest,
Curiosity or attention,
They do naturally soften,
So the depression does ease.
It's just not so helpful if we try and force that,
As this doesn't feel great for the depressed part,
So they dig their heels in a bit to make sure you're getting the message.
Now ask the part if there's anything they need you to know.
Just ask the question and wait patiently for an answer.
This may be in the form of words,
Feelings,
Body sensations,
Images or memories.
Try to remain open-minded and curious to whatever is being shared.
If your depressed part is engaging in dialogue with you,
Keep asking them to share more about why they are suffering.
Imagine you're talking to a friend who's struggling,
So pace your questions accordingly,
Slow and steady with a warm reassuring tone to your thoughts.
When the part has finished sharing,
Ask if there's anything they need from you right now.
This may be a hug,
If you're seeing an image of them,
Just to stay connected this week,
To make some changes in your life or some other thing.
Just ask and see what they say.
One of the biggest areas we can struggle with when we're depressed is feeling hope,
So this part may feel quite hopeless.
If so,
Try telling them that you,
Meaning wise adult you,
Can hold the hope for now,
Until they feel able to believe that things can get better.
If you want to keep talking,
Feel free to pause the practice and take as long as you need.
When it feels like you're done,
Thank the part for speaking with you and reassure them that you'll do what you promised earlier.
Then do whatever you need to make that feel complete and,
In your own time,
Come on back and open your eyes.
How are you doing?
I very much hope a little lighter,
Calmer or more at peace.
You may notice an uplift in mood,
However small.
If not,
That is totally fine.
Just thank yourself for carving out this time in your busy day to practice self-compassion.
But if you do feel anything good,
Spend a few seconds enjoying these pleasurable feelings and letting them soak into your body.
You may want to spend some time journaling,
Making a note of anything you learned about this depressed part of you,
Why they're struggling and what they need.
Take a few minutes to do that once the meditation ends.
And that brings us to the end of this practice.
Thank you for spending this time with me today,
My friend.
Sending you love and warm thoughts and I very much hope you have a better day.
