Welcome to this guided meditation which draws from internal family systems,
A warm,
Compassionate model of therapy which is based on the idea that we all have different parts of us,
Either hurt young parts or protected parts,
Trying to keep them safe.
You can use this practice every morning to help your system calm down before the day begins,
Or any time you're feeling triggered or upset in any way and want to help your parts feel seen,
Heard and cared for.
As you move through the meditation,
Feel free to pause it whenever you want if you need a bit more time with your parts.
So,
Let's begin.
Close your eyes if that feels okay for you,
Or soften and lower your gaze.
Then find a comfortable posture,
Either sitting or lying down.
Gently roll your shoulders back and open your chest,
Then take some deep breaths,
In through your nose,
Out through your mouth,
To a slow count of four on the in-breath and four on the out-breath.
Keep breathing for another 30 seconds.
Now,
Mindfully scan your body to see if you can find any places of physical discomfort,
Like tension,
Tightness,
A sense of bracing or holding on,
Emotional discomfort,
Sadness,
Hurt,
Upset,
Agitation,
Anxiety,
Depression or anger,
Or discomfort in your mind,
Worries,
Rumination,
Obsessing over something you said or did,
Or that someone said or did to you.
In IFS,
Any discomfort like this,
Whether physical,
Emotional or cognitive,
Is called a trailhead,
And these trailheads,
Once we find and follow them,
Always lead to a part of us that's in some kind of pain and needs comfort,
Reassurance or validation.
Settle on one place in your body or mind,
And as you focus on the trailhead,
Whether that's a physical sensation,
A painful emotion or difficult thoughts,
Let that part know you feel it.
It's helpful to speak to our parts as we would a young child who is hurt or scared,
So if you're feeling anxious right now,
Let the part know you feel their anxiety,
And that's okay,
They can feel whatever they feel.
But they're not alone,
Having to carry that burden of fear and worry all by themselves.
Reassure them that you're there,
You want to help,
And you care about them.
In IFS,
We call this being with a part,
And it's one of the simplest but most powerful things you can do when you feel intense emotion of any kind.
We're not trying to shut down or get rid of those feelings,
Because whatever our parts feel is perfectly fine,
They're probably quite young,
So feeling hurt,
Angry,
Frightened,
Lonely,
Or whatever they may be feeling.
The key thing is that they don't feel lost and alone,
Just as a young child needs their mum or dad with them,
Giving them a big hug,
While they cry and release their pent up feelings.
Now try sending some warm,
Deep,
Nourishing breaths into that place in your body or mind.
Imagine that you can send those breaths all the way in through your nostrils,
Down your throat,
Into your chest and back and belly,
All the way to the part that's having a hard time right now,
Wherever it's showing up in sight.
Then,
Don't try and force anything,
But if you can send some warmth,
Friendliness,
Compassion,
Even a loving energy,
From your heart to this part of you that's struggling so much right now,
Go ahead and do that.
And now see what happens,
See what's happening in your heart,
And now see what happens,
See whether sending the warm breath,
Loving energy,
Compassionate thoughts,
Has helped this part feel better.
Sometimes,
Just letting the parts know they are not alone,
That you're there,
And that there is a you who is not apart.
In IFS this is called Self,
With a capital S,
Which they may not be aware of.
That you get them,
And care about them,
Is enough to help them relax.
If they do relax,
See what that's like.
You may notice some warmth inside,
Feel lighter in your body,
Have a sense of relaxing,
Softening,
Or ease.
You may notice your thoughts stop racing and slow down a little,
So your mind feels a little calmer,
And more spacious.
You might even start to feel sleepy,
Or notice yourself yawning a lot.
I love it when this happens with my clients.
Because it means their agitated part has calmed down a little,
And their parasympathetic nervous system has come online,
So they feel calm,
Sleepy,
And relaxed.
Sometimes none of this stuff happens,
And that's perfectly fine.
It just means this part is still upset,
And not ready to relax yet.
If that's the case,
Let them know there is no rush,
No pressure,
That you know they're there,
And will keep checking in on them throughout the day.
They may need to stay active and blended with you,
Letting you feel their upset feelings,
So you don't ignore or forget about them.
But if the part does relax,
Just take a few moments to enjoy that experience,
Whether it's a physical sensation,
Emotional ease,
Or mental shift.
Focus on it,
Savour it,
And let it sink in.
This is a practice you can do often,
But it's especially helpful if you're suffering in some way,
And feeling stressed,
Agitated,
Upset,
Hurt,
Lonely,
Or down.
Because then you get into the habit of realising that bad feeling is coming from a part,
Probably a young,
Vulnerable part of you.
And you can learn to listen to,
Comfort,
Soothe,
And reassure those young parts,
Just like this,
Over and over throughout the day,
Whenever you need to.
And it becomes a kind of process,
Or flow,
Rather than a thing you only do when you sit on your meditation cushion.
It's just part of the moment-to-moment flow of your life.
Now take a few moments and do whatever you need to make this feel complete.
And then,
Whenever you're ready,
Take one last deep breath and open your eyes.
Thank you for meditating with me.
I hope you can carry this greater sense of connection with your parts into the rest of your day.
