Welcome to this practice on befriending your inner Suddha.
It's drawn from the Internal Family Systems model,
Which teaches us that we have two kinds of protective parts in our minds.
Managers and Firefighters.
Managers are busy,
Hardworking,
And try to avoid future pain by anticipating it and heading it off wherever possible.
Firefighters are the opposite.
They try to protect you by reacting when you're in some kind of pain,
Numbing you out,
Distracting or avoiding the painful feelings by any means necessary.
This practice will introduce you to a common firefighter,
The Suddha.
It will be especially helpful if you struggle with any kind of addiction or compulsive behaviour,
Whether that's drinking too much,
Using recreational or prescription drugs,
Gambling,
Smoking cigarettes,
Overeating,
Working or exercising.
But we all have some kind of firefighter activity,
Because we all need to find ways to relax,
Switch off,
Soothe ourselves when we're hurting.
We all have favourite ways to do that,
So this meditation is for everyone.
So,
Let's begin.
Sit comfortably and close your eyes or soften and lower your gaze.
Breathe deeply,
In through your nose and out through your mouth,
Four seconds in and four seconds out.
Keep breathing deeply for 30 seconds,
Allowing your belly to rise and fall with each breath.
Then imagine there's a part of you inside,
Which we'll call your Suddha.
This is the part that comes online when a young,
Vulnerable part of you is feeling anything intense,
Hurt,
Upset,
Lonely,
Abandoned,
Stressed or scared.
Their role is to help you numb out,
Avoid or distract from those intense feelings,
And perhaps feel something more pleasant instead.
They might use a whole range of substances,
From alcohol to caffeine,
Cigarettes to weed,
Sugary or doughy foods,
Party drugs to opioids to make you feel better,
Or activities like binge-watching Netflix,
Gaming,
Shopping,
Gambling,
Exercising or working.
Take a few moments to see if any of these feel familiar to you,
Or whether your Suddha uses other strategies to help you feel better.
Then see if you can connect with this part,
Inside.
Just let them know you're curious about them and want to understand more about how they help you.
Think these messages inside and wait for them to respond,
Which may be in the form of thoughts,
Feelings,
Images,
Memories or body sensations.
If you can get a sense of this part,
Say hello and let them feel your presence,
Saying things like,
I'm here,
I'm curious about you,
I really want to understand you.
Then ask some questions,
Leaving space for them to reply.
Start by asking what is their main strategy to help when you're feeling strong emotions.
Then ask how much are they around for you,
Every waking moment or just in certain situations.
How long have they been doing this job for you?
All your life,
Or perhaps since a pivotal time in your childhood or adolescence?
Then you could ask,
What is the worst thing that would happen if they didn't do this job for you?
That might be getting overwhelmed,
Not being able to function in your life,
Going crazy or a more extreme part coming in,
Like a suicidal one.
And finally,
Ask what is it like to be them and do this job?
Often parts say it's exhausting or miserable or,
Especially with firefighters,
Other people or parts hate or judge them.
Just be open to whatever they have to say.
Having heard all about the Sudha,
Check inside to see how you're feeling towards them.
If you feel anything other than at least curious,
Ask the part feeling,
Say,
Frustrated or judgmental,
To give you some space,
So you can get to know the Sudha.
Let the frustrated part know that this will help the Sudha relax,
Which will help everyone inside.
If this new part does make space,
Thank them,
And then refocus on the Sudha,
Seeing how you feel now.
Hopefully you feel something like curious,
Compassionate,
Or perhaps grateful for how hard this part has worked to protect you,
Probably your whole life.
And if you do feel anything positive towards them,
Let the Sudha feel that from you.
Tell them how you feel in words,
But also send that curiosity,
Compassion or gratitude from your heart to theirs,
And stay with that for a while.
You may notice the parts start to soften or relax,
Which is wonderful.
But they might not,
Which is fine,
It just means they're not ready to relax yet.
Either way,
Let them know this is the beginning of a conversation,
And that you'll check back in with them every time they do the habitual soothing,
To see what's going on.
And send them a final wave of gratitude,
If that feels authentic,
For all the hard work they do.
Then do what you need to make that feel complete,
And open your eyes.
I hope you found that insightful,
And that you learned a little about what this misunderstood but well-meaning part is trying to do for you.
And make sure you do check in with the Sudha for at least the next few days.
It's important to keep our promises to parts so they learn to trust us.
Thank you so much for practicing with me,
And I hope you have a wonderful day.
